tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-354249442024-03-08T05:34:15.049-06:00Slurpees and MurderLiving In, Living With, and Living Through WinnipegJames Hope Howardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18143628957923923335noreply@blogger.comBlogger484125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35424944.post-43387913741944481402014-11-10T08:34:00.000-06:002014-11-10T08:34:00.587-06:00I Wanted One Last Project to Give This Site a Proper Sendoff, So I Wrote an Original Soundtrack Concept Album for a Manitoba-Themed Nintendo Game That Doesn't Exist<p>Hello there, friends! I'd hate to bury the lede too far down under my characteristic exposition, and the post title gives you the gist of the idea, so let's get straight to the important part: I'd been secretly writing an album off-and-on over the past year or so, and now that album is out. <br />
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<center><a href="http://hopechip.bandcamp.com/album/manitoba-circuit-ost"><img src="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/20141021MCOST/frontcover88.gif" title="MANITOBA CIRCUIT OST" width="600" height="600"></a><br />
<font size="4"><b>Manitoba Circuit OST / マニトバラリーレース大冒険!! こんなに平らでいいのか?! OST </b></font><br />
<font size="3"><b>Pay-What-You-Want | <a href="http://hopechip.bandcamp.com/">hopechip.bandcamp.com</a></b></font></center><br />
So <i>that</i>'s pretty great. That's a pretty good feeling! The album is free to stream, and also free to download, though you are welcome to pay money for it if you find you enjoy it.<br />
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As I mentioned, I'd been working on this project in secret for a while now -- because, to my chagrin, I have noticed that the more I talk about an idea the less likely I am to work on and finish it -- so now that it's done and released I'll let the dam burst on it, broken into sections, while we're all here together one last time.<br />
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<b>What is Manitoba Circuit?</b><br />
<br />
Manitoba Circuit was a completed but unreleased Nintendo Entertainment System video game, partially financed by Tourism Manitoba, that was developed from roughly September 1987 to February 1988 and originally intended for a July 1988 release.<br />
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Home video games had come a long way from the dramatic industry crash of 1983; the juggernaut Nintendo Entertainment System was selling millions of units each year, to the point that one-third of North American households would own an NES by the end of the decade. <br />
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Advertisers, unsurprisingly, took notice of the market potential. Not only did some NES games feature <a href="http://www.mobygames.com/images/shots/l/384127-teenage-mutant-ninja-turtles-nes-screenshot-pizza-hut-product.png">in-game</a> <a href="http://www.retrogamenetwork.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/maniac_mansion_hamster_microwave2.png">advertising</a>, but development companies created game tie-ins for <a href="http://www.toplessrobot.com/2010/07/10_nes_games_based_on_r-rated_movies.php">major</a> <a href="http://hunksparrow.hubpages.com/hub/top-10-worst-nes-movie-games">motion</a> <a href="http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheProblemWithLicensedGames">pictures</a>, and ultimately moved into video games created solely as advertisement for brands and franchises like <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adventures_in_the_Magic_Kingdom">Walt Disney World</a>, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spot:_The_Video_Game">7-Up</a>, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yo!_Noid">Dominos Pizza</a> and <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M.C._Kids">McDonalds</a>. (It must be noted, of course, that this was not entirely new territory; corporate-branded video games date as far back as <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kool-Aid_Man_%28video_game%29">the Atari 2600</a>.) There was even almost a <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_California_Raisins:_The_Grape_Escape">California Raisins</a> game, cancelled in 1990 for the probably-obvious reasons of "California Raisins" and "1990".<br />
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Sensing a prime opportunity for increased worldwide exposure -- and particularly in Japan, a source of tourism revenue already proving invaluable to <a href="http://www.tourismpei.com/all-things-anne">Prince Edward Island</a> -- Tourism Manitoba, under then-Premier Howard Pawley and his New Democratic Party government, embarked on an ambitious pilot project to recruit a team of game programmers from Japan and release a Manitoba-branded Nintendo game across all three main worldwide markets (Japan, North America, and Europe).<br />
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The eventual seven-man development team, comprised mainly of recently-graduated students and less-established programming staff, received a very warm welcome by Tourism Manitoba upon their arrival; they were shown the Winnipeg Art Gallery, given a tour of Assiniboine Park Zoo, taken for a night at the Royal Winnipeg Ballet, and even gifted tickets to a Winnipeg Jets game. This was very exciting for all of the staff, but most of all for lead programmer Tsujimoto Kenichi; his father, Tsujimoto Taro, was a former hockey player who had been drafted 183rd overall by the Buffalo Sabres in 1974.<br />
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TOBA SOFT, as the all-Japanese team dubbed themselves, were inspired by the newly-established "driving game" genre -- which focused more on the enjoyment of the driving experience than on the breakneck speed and arcade action of the racing-game genre -- and particularly by Rad Racer, the NES answer to SEGA's OutRun, which was released one month prior to their initial development brainstorming sessions.<br />
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To get a better idea of the area they'd be representing in their game, the team took a rented minivan out along some of Manitoba's more prominent highways; being from a small and mountainous country, their collective surprise at the topography of the area would later influence their title for the game's intended Japanese release.<br />
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Manitoba Circuit was programmed over the next six months and all but ready by February of 1988, even receiving the <a href="http://gaming.wikia.com/wiki/Nintendo_Seal_of_Quality">Nintendo Seal of Quality</a>; all that remained was the physical manufacturing of the cartridges and the subsequent marketing efforts to retail chains and to customers. TOBA SOFT and Tourism Manitoba pegged the physical side of the game's publication at an an estimated three to four months, not unusual for the era, which would have placed the game at an expected early-July 1988 release and just ahead of peak summer-tourism season. <br />
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No one, of course, expected what happened next. The NDP majority government fell unexpectedly in <a href="http://www.revparl.ca/english/issue.asp?art=800¶m=128">March of 1988</a>, when a backbencher defection defeated the party's budget on a confidence vote and triggered a surprise snap election. Seven weeks later, the NDP were out of power entirely, the Manitoba Progressive Conservatives forming a minority government under newly-elected Premier Gary Filmon.<br />
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The incoming Progressive Conservative government, which had gained power on the promise of vast cutbacks to save revenue, spelled doom for the Manitoba Circuit project; the new government considered the expected production costs of the final release an unreasonable expenditure, for what they saw as a meagre opportunity in an unproven market, and quietly cut its intended funding -- effectively scrapping the project entirely -- in late May of 1988. <br />
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Disappointed and upset by this abrupt change of fortune, all seven members of the TOBA SOFT team returned to Japan shortly thereafter, never to return. And Manitoba Circuit never officially saw the light of day, though it is rumoured but unconfirmed that altered versions of the game made appearances in unlicenced <a href="http://bootleggames.wikia.com/wiki/Multicarts">multicart</a> compilations.<br />
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Although the experiment was ultimately doomed by the unpredictability of the era, the Manitoba Circuit project remains an interesting case study in alternative promotional activi--<br />
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<b>Okay, No, Hold Up. Did You... Did You Make All That Up Just Now?</b><br />
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D'ahh, heck, y'got me. Pure fiction! You saw right through it, huh? I should've known nobody would believe that the NDP would try to impress people with free Jets tickets.<br />
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Anyway, no, Manitoba Circuit wasn't a real thing. But I did spend a year or so writing a soundtrack for it, and now we all have a story for it, so it's real in our <i>hearts</i>, y'know?<br />
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<b>Really? A Year or So?</b><br />
<br />
Well... maybe not <i>exactly</i>. That's more an estimate.<br />
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No one ever ends up exactly where they expected -- he writes, from a lakeside cabin near La Ronge, Saskatchewan -- and this is true of this album as well; my Manitoba-themed Nintendo Entertainment System racing-game soundtrack was, in its original inspiration, a Winnipeg-themed Super Nintendo Entertainment System role-playing-game soundtrack.<br />
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The more faithful readers of this blog may well remember where I was, life-wise, a little over a year ago; both of my two ongoing library employment positions had been unceremoniously eliminated, I was fresh off of a particularly crushing relationship break-up, my making rent on my apartment from month to month seemed increasingly unlikely, my local job prospects were looking gruesome and grim, and my mother was battling cancer. So it... wasn't a high mark, let's frame it that way. What better time to escape into music, then, right? Had to fill the days somehow, after all. ("<i>Life is a shipwreck,</i>" Voltaire once wrote, "<i>but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats.</i>") <br />
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Living in an alleyway apartment between Home and Arlington at the time -- what an amazing run of luck, in retrospect, that my car was only graffitied and smashed once that year! -- I had plenty of time to think about the abstract nature of neighbourhood character and place; I was located on the fringes of Wolseley, West Broadway, and the West End, and I was located within walking distance of Tuxedo, St. James, and the downtown core. <br />
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(Never underestimate my walking distance, incidentally. <i>Especially</i> on flat land. Which... describes just about everything in Winnipeg.)<br />
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All six of the neighbourhoods that I've just mentioned are very, very geographically close to each other, yet they all have very different characters and leave very different impressions, don't they? If you wanted to write retro-chiptune pieces for each place -- as I decided I did, once I learned that such a thing was indeed theoretically possible -- then, despite their being only a short bridge apart, you would choose very different musical styles for <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n5NcPnPmetM">walking along a Wolseley Avenue</a> and <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tPy96vCa7wE">walking along a Wellington Crescent</a>.<br />
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So I had the intention of writing a full Super Nintendo RPG soundtrack for and about Winnipeg, a collection of 100% system-authentic pieces for all of its major neighbourhoods and roadways and landmarks. I had a whole bunch of musical subjects picked out, and I had a grand unifying JRPG storyline for all of them (<i>Super Winnipeg Saga: Invasion of the Purple City!!</i>), and it was all very ambitious and exciting before two very important hurdles derailed the plan.<br />
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Firstly, I don't know how familiar you are with the JRPG soundtracks of the era, but at first blush you might not properly appreciate the sheer scale of them. Final Fantasy III/VIj, unquestionably one of the high marks of the genre, had <a href="http://vgmdb.net/album/40">sixty-one original compositions</a> written for it; Chrono Trigger, another category-killer, had <a href="http://www.chronocompendium.com/Term/Music_%28Chrono_Trigger%29#Chrono_Trigger_Original_Sound_Version">sixty-four</a>. And though you wouldn't know it to look at the official soundtrack, which condensed multiple pieces into medleys, EarthBound -- unquestionably my favourite game of the era, and easily even now one of my top-five video games of all time -- had <a href="http://gh.ffshrine.org/soundtracks/5751">somewhere in the hundreds</a>.<br />
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This would not have been as dramatic an issue if it were not for hurdle number two, which exponentially multiplied point number one. Hurdle number two is that -- and I do hope you will bear with me here, I've spent a lot of time researching these sorts of things since then -- the Super Nintendo sound chip, much to my surprise, does not actually contain any <i>sound</i>.<br />
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To clarify that statement: unlike almost all console hardware to that point, which could be programmed to output a default slate of notes and noises right from the start, the Super Nintendo operates entirely and exclusively in samples. Each and every SNES game has a special -- and, as per the tight Nintendo corporate controls of the era, <i>pre-approved</i> -- sample bank that the audio processing unit (APU) draws from, but without that individualized cartridge input, the SNES APU is functionally blank.<br />
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If you've ever wondered, this is why SNES games made by any given company sound like the other SNES games by that company, but sound completely different from the SNES games by other companies. (Compare a slate of games made by Capcom to a slate of games made by Konami, for example.) This is also why SNES games often sounded so peculiarly different from other SNES games, whereas games for the NES or for the Genesis always sounded like they were in the same sonic ballpark as other games on that system. I ended up learning a <i>lot</i> about the SNES APU, though unfortunately not a way to put it into practice.<br />
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Here, then, was my problem: my computers are gettin' up there in age, and writing with a special individualized sample loaded for every instrument is <i>vastly</i> more resource-heavy than writing for a single consistent soundset. (I know this because I tried anyway and the whole shebang, without fail, crashed on me in protest.) As well, certain SNES sample banks seem wholly disinterested in coexisting nicely with other SNES sample banks; as <i>well</i> (as well as well), all of the programs that can actually get these banks to play along with each other are optimized for newer Windows desktops, and the newest tech I have at my disposal is a three-year-old Mac laptop. <br />
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So if I wanted the grand SNES JRPG opera of my dreams, I'd have to guess-write sixty-odd musical pieces on hardware that couldn't play them, and then to play them I'd need a better, more powerful, proper desktop computer -- which of course was outside my price point, my price point at the time being "zero, because I'm unemployed". A dream for another time, perhaps.<br />
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However! When chiptune shenanigans close a door, they open a window, as I'm sure everyone agrees the saying goes. I revised my expectations, and what was originally a side-project idea became my new main-project jam, and do you know what happened next?<br />
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<b>An NES Racing Game?</b><br />
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AN NES RACING GAME. Or rather, not a racing game, but a driving game -- and yes, as I alluded to above, <a href="http://gameological.com/2013/08/alternate-soundtrack-kavinsky-outrun/">there's a difference</a>. I've done a lot of digital driving in my time, and I do a whole lot of highway driving in real life, so perhaps these sorts of things all work out the way they're supposed to.<br />
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Many of you will be familiar with OutRun, the glorious 1986 SEGA arcade experience that revolutionized the car-game genre; many of you will also be familiar with Rad Racer, the NES answer to OutRun, itself a major success in its own right. We never owned either of those when I was a kid, but somehow -- and I know we didn't buy it, so I'm thinking it was part of a pile that a family friend's son was no longer interested in, but I can't be 100% certain -- somehow, we <i>did</i> own Rad Racer <i>II</i>. Rad Racer II was not a success at the level of its predecessor, and I'm not sure it was even a success at all; in those rare times when it is thought of at all these days, it is thought of as a poor gameplay successor and a disappointing sequel. What it <i>did</i> have, however, is a soundtrack (of two in-game songs and one ending song) by a young <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nobuo_Uematsu">Nobuo Uematsu</a>, who would soon become one of the best-respected founding fathers of video game soundtracks as an evolving artistic medium.<br />
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I am most certainly not at the level of a Nobuo Uematsu, not even baby-Uematsu; I am also most certainly not at the level of a Keiichi Suzuki or a Hirokazu "Hip" Tanaka, the two <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Music_of_the_Mother_series">Mother-series musical masterminds</a> coaxing pitch-perfect genre-study pieces out of fascinatingly primitive machinery. But then, of course, they are exceptional; the vast majority of folk tasked with writing NES music weren't at that same level either, and they didn't let that stop <i>them</i>. A fair number of people composing music for the NES weren't 'composers', per se, so much as <a href="http://www.vgmpf.com/Wiki/index.php?title=Nintendo_Entertainment_System#Composition">programmers coincidentally tasked with making sure the game had music</a> -- and a fair number of NES composers <a href="http://forums.nesdev.com/viewtopic.php?t=7390">wrote the music in pure hexcode</a>, which is both tremendously impressive and wildly intimidating.<br />
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I mention all of this because my aim was to write an NES-era game soundtrack that would seem <i>authentic</i>, rather than simply 'plausible'. The soundchip has plenty of neat tricks and fun treats that weren't discovered until much later in the lifespan of the console, and that even then only turned up in maybe two or three games; this is because, over the decade or so that companies supported the NES, there were only ever a handful of people who A) had a solid grasp of musical theory and composition, B) developed a thorough familiarity with the capabilities of the sound hardware, AND C) had enough time in the development process to write and revise something nice. So even though I had the modern luxury of leisurely experimentation, I left a lot of segments on the proverbial cutting-room floor because they wouldn't've existed at the time; the chip <i>could</i> play them, but the people working the chip <i>wouldn't</i> have. You get me, yeah? Better to aim for the flawed but ambitious output of the era than to forge something meticulous but obviously out-of-place.<br />
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<b>So Why a Manitoba-Themed Game Soundtrack?</b><br />
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Because I thought it'd be a really cool thing to have, and nobody else has ever done it. (You'd be amazed at how much of my output on this blog over the years has traced back to this exact reasoning.)<br />
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-conversation="none" lang="en"><p><a href="https://twitter.com/jameshopehoward">@jameshopehoward</a> just, like, the idea that driving up to Gimli now has a chiptune theme song is kind of blowing my mind right now</p>— Jeremy Penner (@SpindleyQ) <a href="https://twitter.com/SpindleyQ/status/524594623470374914">October 21, 2014</a></blockquote><script async src="//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script><br />
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The reason most of all that I wanted to do this sort of project, something specifically musical, is because it was out of my element and I wanted to see if I could. That's part of why it took me as long as it did; it was a major challenge, and I had to learn a bunch of new stuff to do it. Which is good! It's important to challenge oneself, I think.<br />
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Having established what I've been working on, here's what I've been working <i>in</i>:<br />
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<a href="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/20141021MCOST/deflemask.png"><img src="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/20141021MCOST/deflemask.png" title="DefleMask example window; guess which song this was!" width="625" height="375"></a><br />
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<a href="http://www.delek.com.ar/deflemask">Deflemask</a> is a cross-platform, multisystem hardware-accurate tracker; the GUI (graphical user interface) is obviously slicker and sleeker than the environments available at the time, but as I lack access to the original NES hardware kits and software compilers, I made the executive decision to shrug and roll with it. The end result is that all of these pieces are 100% authentically NES-compatible, to the point that they can play on an original NES if exported and compiled as such; I can even export the album to .NSF, if you're familiar with that format, but I still have yet to work up the nerve to do so. (It's a little galling to think of months of work condensing down to maybe 20kb of output. I don't know how you programmers out there manage it.) <br />
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Not only did I have to learn how to control the program and how to write tracker sequences -- it's like trying to perforate and synchronize four player-pianos at once -- but if you look along the right side of that screenshot, you can see how almost every note you hear on this album was customized and hand-drawn. I don't know if you've ever had the experience of sitting down and diagramming your waveform on the fly to get the sound you want; it's kind of a trip! It's fun to play around with it just to see what happens to it. It's also a lot of fun to chart out the folio options of the noise channel, piecing together thunderclaps and fireworks and other dramatic punctuations.<br />
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Speaking of channels -- and getting back to the authenticity aspect for a second -- you'll note that the tracker has five available channels, just as (or, rather, because) the NES soundchip does. However, of those five channels, the vast majority of NES music only uses four; the fifth channel is a rudimentary sampler, for <i>very</i> tiny samples, and is (almost) exclusively reserved for in-game sound effects whenever the gameplay demands them. (This channel is also responsible for any <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7XJlTaBnlrI">voice</a> <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X8TmIxHSBcU">samples</a>, though those tend to stick to the title screen.) There <i>are</i> certain exceptions to this -- Sunsoft games like <a href="http://good-evil.net/features/top-30-nes-soundtracks-12-journey-to-silius">Journey to Silius</a> used a <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hrZ8UiU3ZfE">rad bass sample</a>, and <a href="http://good-evil.net/features/top-30-nes-soundtracks-20-super-mario-bros-3">Super Mario Bros. 3</a> dedicated some cartridge space to <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ob7WHx13X7A">drum</a> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1D2qK59tJEE">samples</a> -- but, again, such advancements are both relatively rare and considerably later in the lifespan of the console. <br />
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For the bulk of the NES library, then, and particularly so in the era I aimed for, the music is limited to four channels: two square-wave channels (generally used for leads and/or harmonies), one triangle-wave channel (almost always the bass), and one noise channel (for percussion, and occasionally for those atmospheric effects I'd mentioned earlier). I could go into a very long side discussion from here about how the challenges of limitations help to spur and refine creativity, but honestly it'd just be me quoting <a href="http://www.amazon.ca/Chuck-Jones-Conversations-Stormy-Gunter/dp/1578067294">Chuck Jones' interviews</a> on the subject for like five pages, and really I think this post is going to be long enough already.<br />
<br />
<b>So What's All This PAL Stuff on the Album?</b><br />
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Ha! Oh, man, PAL. PAL is <i>hilarious</i>. <br />
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This is its own special subsection of gaming history, so let me break into another quick technical breakdown, if I may. North American NESes and Japanese Famicoms run on a 60Hz internal processor; this is because both regions use (well, more accurately in our modern times, <i>used</i>) NTSC analog televisions, which run at a 60Hz refresh rate. European analog televisions, however, ran at a PAL 50Hz refresh rate, because the infamously-different electrical grids of the region only allowed for 50Hz power supplies. And because European TVs ran at a 50Hz refresh rate, European Nintendos likewise ran on a 50Hz internal processor -- which was now, unfortunately, tasked with running games and music designed for a 60Hz processor.<br />
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Effectively, unless a game developer made a specific point of fixing their programming for the PAL European release -- and an insultingly precious few of them did -- any game released for the European NES ran and played 17% slower than it did on the North American NES or the Japanese Famicom, despite being the exact same piece of programming. It didn't <i>have</i> to run 17% slower, but most companies simply figured that the extra programming effort wasn't worth the investment, because A) that was manpower they could devote to new projects instead, and B) the game would sell roughly the same in Europe whether they fixed the problem or not. And that's if they even understood the problem at all; virtually every development studio was (and generally still is) based out of either Japan or North America, leaving European R&D somewhat less of a priority. (Especially considering the communications technology of the era, compared against the staggeringly powerful worldwide infrastructure we enjoy today.) <br />
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So, basically, <a href="http://www.destructoid.com/feel-the-hatred-pal-conversions-102886.phtml">it sucked</a>. And even when companies <i>did</i> try to adjust for the processor difference, <a href="http://atariage.com/forums/topic/162560-examining-nes-pal-conversions/">the results were unpredictable</a>. The PAL version of Super Mario Bros., tweaked to hopefully run at NTSC speed, instead accidentally runs slightly <i>faster</i>. PAL Tetris plays the music at the right speed, but moves faster, making for a harder game. PAL Metroid runs slower, but also accidentally plays its title music at a higher pitch than originally intended. The music in PAL Kirby's Adventure plays properly, but the game runs its usual 17% slower, <i>except for Kirby</i>, who runs at proper NTSC speed and is thusly far faster than the game intended. It's fascinating, the lot of it, but understandably frustrating for European audiences.<br />
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The rise of digital televisions would eventually render the analog NTSC/PAL divide obsolete, giving the world interlaced and progressive standards (the 'i' and 'p' in modern benchmarks, e.g. "1080p") instead -- but unfortunately for European retro-gaming enthusiasts, the modern re-releases of classic games are <a href="http://www.eurogamer.net/articles/2013-01-25-nintendo-using-inferior-50hz-mode-for-european-wii-u-virtual-console">still</a> <a href="http://wiiudaily.com/2013/05/wii-u-virtual-console-50hz/">slower</a>. What a world! What a world. <br />
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Anyway, in a nutshell: the PAL versions of most NES games run 17% slower than their NTSC counterparts, and the music runs 17% slower as well. That's not to say the <i>pitch</i> is different; both versions of the game are reading the same notes at the same point in the programming, the PAL processor just takes 17% longer to get to each note.<br />
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Here are the NTSC and PAL versions of Mega Man II's first Wily Castle theme, as an example:<br />
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<iframe width="480" height="360" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/WJRoRt155mA" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br />
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<iframe width="480" height="360" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/BNRSydrgezc" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br />
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Weird, right? If you grew up familiar with one version but not the other, the other version just seems really, really strange. (<a href="http://wiiudaily.com/2013/05/wii-u-virtual-console-50hz/">"<i>[T]he first time I heard the Balloon Fight theme in proper speed I was completely freaked out</i>"</a>.) So it went, too, with this album I wrote: because I was learning Deflemask on the fly while I composed in it, I didn't realize until very late in production that the program has a toggle switch between NTSC and PAL processing speeds. Ultimately, then, I got to live out a very specific and very funny experience of the NES era: I had been writing exclusively in NTSC the whole time, and I had not once considered how it would behave in PAL, and I was totally blindsided by the effects of the translation. <br />
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Some of the PAL versions ended up being pretty darn neat, and the ones that didn't ended up being pretty funny. So please enjoy the complimentary, and complementary, PAL versions of each track, included with this album at no extra charge.<br />
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And, uh... and yeah. Please enjoy Manitoba Circuit OST! I think that's everything I wanted to cover about the album, but of course I'm happy to talk about it (as you, uh, could probably tell), so please feel free to email me or comment below if there's anything else you'd like to know.<br />
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<b>So That's It?</b> <br />
<br />
So that's it, I suppose. Eight years and change after Slurpees and Murder began, this is how Slurpees and Murder ends: a cheerfully esoteric, inexorably weird, hopefully compelling project, the last of what I like to think has been a series of them over the years. <br />
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This isn't the last you'll hear of me, certainly; I'll still be chirping about Manitoban matters <a href="http://twitter.com/jameshopehoward">on Twitter</a> with fair frequency, and I have a suspicion I can be persuaded to contribute for other outlets as well. Speaking of which, I figure I'll start myself another new site eventually; it'll have a different focus to it (obviously, since I don't live in Manitoba any more), and I don't feel any particular hurry on it quite yet, but I'll definitely let you folks know when it's up. <br />
<br />
For now, however, this is it. I had left this site on sort of a cliffhanger when I'd moved away for new employment, so I'm glad that I'm finally able to send the site out on a high note -- or rather on a series of them, accompanied by tasty bass triangle-waves and an assortment of eight-bit percussion. There's no finer way to go out, if you ask me! <br />
<br />
Finally, then, and formally, then: <br />
<br />
This concludes Slurpees and Murder. Thank you for reading.<p>James Hope Howardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18143628957923923335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35424944.post-32241253991604601482014-03-31T23:21:00.000-05:002014-04-01T07:02:40.476-05:00Ask James Anything Month: We Get Stacks and Stacks of Letters<p>Greetings from a motel in Yorkton, Saskatchewan!<br />
<br />
It's been quite the whirlwind month for me since last we spoke; I've <a href="http://archives.winnipeginternetpundits.com/post/80217849718/march-19th-2014-the-last-show-james-john-and">overseen the final episode of Winnipeg Internet Pundits</a>, entrusted the physical Slurpees and Murder Record Club collection (there were a <i>lot</i> of records) to <a href="http://www.umfm.com/programming/programgrid/405/">radiomaking sensation</a> <a href="http://westenddumplings.blogspot.ca/">Christian Cassidy</a>, bequeathed most of my vast fighting-game library to the fine folks at <a href="http://www.chipdamage.com/">Chip Damage</a>, guested on <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=obhcfBf_ZX0">an episode of City Circus</a> with <a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/opinion/columnists/welcome-to-hotel-rescue-253010931.html">Royal-Albert-saver</a> Marty Gold, and done a lot of final-visiting and merrimaking with folks whenever I wasn't doing all that stuff I just mentioned above.<br />
<br />
With very nearly all of my local -- well, 'local', now -- that'll take some getting used to -- (where was I) -- with very nearly all of my local loose ends tied up, I set out early this morning from Winnipeg with a car packed full of my remaining possessions. Sometime tomorrow evening I should be arriving in the wilds near La Ronge, Saskatchewan, or more specifically in a nearby Lac La Ronge subdivision that can only get internet by smartphone.<br />
<br />
Not yet <i>having</i> a Saskatchewan smartphone, I'll be off the e-grid until I get that sorted out. So I'd better get this mailbag a-rolling!<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
<b>Anonymous, 2014-03-02 08:08</b> <strike>asks</strike> says:<br />
<br />
"<i>http://goo.gl/kTOHZi<br />
<br />
Me thinks you could all too easily find yourself living in the middle of nowhere Saskatchewan without any income... </i>"<br />
<br />
Oh, I all too easily could! That is always, always a possibility. I'd been told this about librarianship at the outset, and it'd proven true a time or two since: you have to be doing it for love, because you won't be doing it for money.<br />
<br />
That said: the position still existed even after someone else left it, and I made it all the way through the application and interview process without this position being cancelled, so I've got a really good feeling about this one. (And any-a y'all who think I'm kidding about that happening are clearly unfamiliar with the discipline.) And really, I've spent quite a fair bit of time already in my life living in the middle of nowhere Manitoba without any income -- so, hey! Even if this position evaporates into the mists -- as positions so often do, these days -- I'll at least have advanced myself to a nice refreshing change of scenery. And I'll be far enough north that catching and eating nearby animals seems more socially acceptable, which I am not necessarily ruling <i>out</i>. <br />
<br />
<font size="1">boom, segue</font><br />
<br />
<b>unclebob</b> asks:<br />
<br />
"<i>So an easy one- do you like to fish? </i>"<br />
<br />
I never really got into it, but I was too young for it when I first tried it, I think. <br />
<br />
I would've been maybe ten or eleven -- too young to drink, certainly, which I'm convinced is the same reason that kids don't understand how adults can like olives -- and aside from impaling both myself and my little brother with a couple of errant casts, my primary memory of the experiment is catching a fish but being too kindhearted a child to kill it and rip every bone out of its body. Pretty glaring character flaw, that.<br />
<br />
I am older and more patient now, of course, and also correspondingly about a thousand times better at food prep. So I'm entirely willing to give it another shot, this time around.<br />
<br />
<b>unclebob</b> also asks:<br />
<br />
"<i>And a harder one - will Katz be run out of town? </i>"<br />
<br />
Run out, no; Winnipeg is a town where actions and decisions very rarely seem to have consequences. But he ain't as feisty as he used to be, and the current (complete) set of infrastructure problems would be a rather ill-advised flag to carry into battle, so I have a suspicion he'll leave on his own accord soon enough.<br />
<br />
<b>Anonymous, 2014-03-02 19:14</b> asks:<br />
<br />
"<i>Why do library schools (ha, ha, ha i meant Information schools, as if) keep expanding student numbers when it is getting harder and harder for librarians to find work? </i>"<br />
<br />
¯\_(ツ)_/¯ <br />
<br />
I fear the increasingly dark, dank and depressing world of academia is a discussion topic I wouldn't be able give its proper due here. The longer that one dwells on the numbers-games of ivory towers overall -- more students being admitted in a world of vastly fewer positions, with degrees worth comparatively less now than they've ever been before, taught by frustrated barely-paid sessionals because lecturing as a career field is in its <i>own</i> crisis and tenured positions are now all but impossible -- well, it's all sort of a mess, isn't it?<br />
<br />
Now, let's say a program <i>wanted</i> to reverse this, out of the goodness of its anthropomorphized heart. Let's say a department went to its broader overall institution to propose keeping its same budget levels but admitting far fewer students, sacrificing both short-term revenue and eventual alumni-donation prospects (even with the knowledge that other schools' programs are constantly, constantly, constantly expanding), in the name of proving a point. It strikes <i>me</i> as an unlikely basis for approval, and I'm the one trying to be optimistic about this, so that probably tells us all we need to know about <i>that</i>.<br />
<br />
It's definitely a library-school problem, for sure, but not exclusively so; it's a problem on the 'school' side rather than the 'library' side, if y'feel me. Think about what it means for the whole education model that <i><a href="http://ideas.time.com/2013/03/11/just-how-bad-off-are-law-school-graduates/">law</a> <a href="http://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2013/04/the-jobs-crisis-at-our-best-law-schools-is-much-much-worse-than-you-think/274795/">school</a></i> is no longer a safe employment path, for cripes' sakes. <br />
<br />
But then, if I knew how to solve the whole thing, I'd have tenure by now. And if I have a kid any time soon, I'm buyin' nothing but pipes and wrenches as toys. Yes, even if it's a girl. <i>Especially</i> if it's a girl. <br />
<br />
<b>Anonymous, 2014-03-02 20:06</b> <strike>asks</strike> says:<br />
<br />
"<i>Slim pickins huh. Take the time to develop another career. Have fun and only eat yellow snow every other day. </i>"<br />
<br />
You... <i>do</i> get that I just landed a permanent full-time position in the career I love and a place I'm excited to live, right? I should think there are worse fates. (I should know, I've lived a few of 'em.) But your support is appreciated, nonetheless. <br />
<br />
<b>Anonymous, 2014-03-03 11:59</b> asks:<br />
<br />
"<i>What's your sign?</i>"<br />
<br />
As an Aries, I don't believe in astrology. <br />
<br />
Here's the thing: if I'd been born a day or two later, I'd've been a Taurus, and therefore would've been a <i>wildly</i> different pile of characteristics and personality traits. <br />
<br />
"Because of the relative position of the sun and stars at the moment you were born, I can tell intuitively and immediately that you are compassionate, patient, warmhearted, dependable and loyal. Wait, you were born <i>before</i> midnight? Never mind, you're a dick, then."<br />
<br />
Some astrology systems try to weasel past that by declaring "cusps" around the transition dates; the Aries-Taurus combination is thusly heralded the "Cusp of Power", running from April 17th to 21st, unless it actually runs from April 19th to 24th, unless it <i>actually</i> runs from April 15th to 25th. Depending on who you think is most trustworthy at reading your birthdate and drawing conclusions from it.<br />
<br />
It probably didn't help my enthusiasm any that I'd occasionally look through the paper to kill time and get a load of cheerful escapism like <i>this</i>:<br />
<br />
<img src="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/ws-111106-49.png" title="This was a real horoscope I found in a 2006 Winnipeg Sun, I kid you not. In this case I mean 'real' as in actually published, not 'real' as in--ahhh, you get what I mean."><br />
<br />
Thanks, stars. Thanks for that. <font size="1">friggin "cusp of power" how about you cusp my <i>dick</i>, how about that</font><br />
<br />
ANYWAY<br />
<br />
<b>Shaun M. Wheeler</b> <strike>asks</strike> says:<br />
<br />
"<i>Sorry to see you go, James. Good luck on the new career!</i>"<br />
<br />
Thanks, man! Good luck with the <a href="http://conceitedjerk.blogspot.ca/2014/03/my-arm-can-only-twist-so-far-welcome-to.html">newest blog incarnation</a>; I'm looking forward to seeing how you tackle the new subject set!<br />
<br />
<b>Anonymous, 2014-03-04 10:09</b> asks:<br />
<br />
"<i>What's your opinion on the continuation of the Winnipeg Cat meme by a third party?</i>"<br />
<br />
Well, I was disappointed, mainly. I certainly wasn't in favour of it; they'd've known that if they'd asked me at all, which I imagine is why they didn't.<br />
<br />
But I was moreso disappointed because it wasn't going to work out well for <i>any</i>one. Let's say there was a beloved animal-themed internet site, with several updates a week and with years' worth of archives, that used the same art and same font in every image but got a pass for it because of its creativity and distinctive writer's voice. You probably know exactly where I'm going with this: <a href="http://www.qwantz.com/index.php">Dinosaur Comics</a>, by Ryan North. (Seriously, it's the best.) <br />
<br />
Let's say I really liked Dinosaur Comics, and I felt inspired by it, and I wanted to do something like it. I could do anything in the world! Imagine all of the cool prospective spiritual successors I could attempt, with any idea I wanted, in any genre I wanted, in any media format I wanted. Infinite possibilities, infinite potential!<br />
<br />
Now let's say I started a website that used the Dinosaur Comics template, <i>and</i> tried to write them <i>like</i> the original Dinosaur Comics, <i>and</i> called my site "<i>Dinosaur Comics</i>". Doesn't really have the same ceiling of artistic development and potential, does it? Not only that, but anything I'd produce would naturally be compared <i>against</i> Ryan North's Dinosaur Comics, and he has a head start of several years and perfect familiarity with the style.<br />
<br />
Even if I thought I could write as well as Ryan North (and believe me, I don't) -- even if I busted my ass off for years, honing my craft tirelessly to some day be able to write <i>better</i> than Ryan North -- I would never be able to write <i>like</i> Ryan North, and the writing of Ryan North is why people like Dinosaur Comics. <br />
<br />
All of that is what happened here, on an obviously much smaller and crappier scale. There're an awful lot of things that I'm not particularly good at, but I'm the best in the world at writing like me. <br />
<br />
As I'd said on Twitter at the time, I'd love to one day be good enough to inspire people to try doing their own fun stuff -- but that doesn't mean try doing <i>my</i> stuff. Why would you even do that? I'm a terrible ceiling to limit yourself to. Build <i>on</i> my work, not <i>under</i> it. C'mon.<br />
<br />
So I was disappointed, mainly. Some undisclosed person or people copied the template wholesale and did their best to be me, instead of attempting their own ideas and one day making something better than I ever could've made. <br />
<br />
(If they'd waited two weeks, they could've done an <a href="http://imgur.com/a/GIdgB">Earl of Winnipeg</a> and had roughly a million times the prospective readership base. There's something to be said for patience.)<br />
<br />
As I'd <a href="http://twitter.com/jameshopehoward/status/439294459029635072">also said at the time</a>, I didn't see it lasting very long, and it didn't; they tried doing daily updates like I'd done and gave up after two weeks. Which just reinforces what I already could've told you: it ain't easy being me, man. They rebranded it after that as "news.winnipeg.com" and made the site a big sloppy RSS aggregate of local outlets, which is off <a href="https://twitter.com/NewsWinnipeg">furiously spamming Twitter</a> somewhere, but whatever, that probably fills a need. It's something, at least!<br />
<br />
Anyway, all y'all be you, don't be me. There's your takeaway.<br />
<br />
<b>Sean</b> asks:<br />
<br />
"<i>Re: Anonymous @ March 2, 2014 at 8:08 AM<br />
<br />
Seriously, did you actually read what you linked to?<br />
<br />
Sure they ran a small loss last year, but their cash reserves would allow them to continue operating in that state for at least another decade. As long as they continue to receive their 'Provincial/Territorial Funding' I'd say that they're a pretty safe bet for the coming future.<br />
<br />
Sorry James, I don't want to start a flame war in your comment section, but I cannot abide clumsy interpretation of financial information.</i>"<br />
<br />
<b>Anonymous, 2014-03-05 17:07</b> responds:<br />
<br />
"<i>Sean, as a former board member of a library that is now part of the Winnipeg Library system I can assure you that you don't any basic concept of the operation and funding of any library system.<br />
<br />
You comments won't start a flame war because I'm quit sure that anyone beyond their teens is well aware that when the vast majority of funding for any activity is provided by political grant (political whim) it could end virtually overnight and it's program end.<br />
<br />
Have a nice day. </i>"<br />
<br />
If you kids can't keep your hands to yourself, I'm gonna turn this car around, and there'll be no Cape Canaveral for <i>any</i>body!<br />
<br />
<b>Ben Century</b> asks:<br />
<br />
"<i>Dammit! I'm gonna miss your blog. It's been a joy to read and it's pretty much the only way I keep up with all the goofiness that goes on in Winnipeg.<br />
<br />
So my question is... Are you gonna start a new blog called "Wheat and Roughriders"?</i>"<br />
<br />
Aww, thanks! I don't know what I'll end up doing yet, out there; I won't have much in the way of dedicated interne--<br />
<br />
<b>Anonymous, 2014-03-12 11:52</b> contributes:<br />
<br />
"<i>Good one Ben, but I think that "Pilsner and Incest" would be a more appropriate title for a Saskatchewan blog (if he still bases the title on the region's popular drink and common crime). </i>"<br />
<br />
uh<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
I won't have much in the way of dedicated internet access, at least not for the first few months, so I won't exactly be hurrying back into the game. I'm sure I'll end up doing <i>some</i>thing, though, soon enough! <br />
<br />
<font size="1">I mean probably not with that last title but</font><br />
<br />
<b>The Analyst</b> asks:<br />
<br />
"<i>Were there internal discussions at WIPs about finding a replacement host before deciding to kibosh the show?<br />
<br />
What are your opinions on an <a href="http://content.time.com/time/specials/packages/article/0,28804,2086781_2086783_2086788,00.html">unbalanced budget law</a>?<br />
<br />
Do the economies of scale from amalgamating rural municipalities outweigh the loss of unique communities?<br />
<br />
Will you blog about Saskatchewanian politics?</i>"<br />
<br />
Well, y'have to remember, I <i>was</i> the replacement host. Tessa had been our board operator and was able to make it down every Wednesday, until her hours changed and she wasn't, so at that point I scramble-learned how to operate the board and took over until <i>I</i> found out I'd be unable to make it down every Wednesday. (What with not being in the city. Or, uh, the province.) So there <i>were</i> discussions, yes, and they'd gone on for a while, and we all kept 'er running while we could, but ultimately the logistics of everyone being gainfully employed on Wednesdays didn't quite work out. Well, work out show-wise, I mean. Employment-wise it's pretty cool.<br />
<br />
Unbalanced budget law makes sense to me economically, or at least it convinced me in the way I saw it explained, because I'm not an economist. And if it were solely economists and other rational actors in charge of the decisions, I'd be fully on board for them. But the ramifications <i>politically</i> make me suck wind through my teeth. "Don't worry, we'll pay off the spending some other year! When things get better. Whenever that is." Augh, and whenever things <i>would</i> recover governments would run the surplus just to boast about running the surplus, then protect it as a status symbol ("Look how well we're doing!"), and--eesh. I'm sure it <i>can</i> work, as an idea, I'm just not sure I'd trust anyone to implement it.<br />
<br />
RM amalgamation really would've needed to be a post all by itself, because there are way too many moving targets for me to tackle them all succinctly. There's an underlying assertion of pigheaded RM self-preservation in the mandate of forced amalgamation, because it bases itself on the idea that there are significant savings to be made -- but if the savings are significant enough to clearly and overwhelmingly justify amalgamation, why wouldn't RMs have already been amalgamating en masse voluntarily? Were they not amalgamating because each and every one of them are territorial and fearful, or not amalgamating because the savings aren't worth it? A moot point with amalgamation forced, but still. Lots to unpack in there.<br />
<br />
GUYS I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'LL BE DOING YET LET ME FIGURE OUT INTERWEBS FIRST<br />
<br />
<b>Deborah Ann</b> says:<br />
<br />
"<i>Congratulations James, Well deserved, couldn't be happening to a better or nicer person as yourself. Those students will be lucky. Thanks for reading all my medical reports when you were at Herzing. All the best to you, I'd skip the part about eating the yellow snow or you might end up at my office. All the best. Debbie</i>"<br />
<br />
Thanks, Debbie! All the best to you, as well, and I'm glad to hear that everything's working out.<br />
<br />
Well, folks, that'll do it for Ask James Anything Month; I had another special little surprise I was going to spring sometime soon, but that'll just have to wait until I see some solid internet signal again. You all take care of yourselves!<p>James Hope Howardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18143628957923923335noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35424944.post-50444148840076509202014-03-01T23:22:00.000-06:002014-03-02T01:03:23.011-06:00I Found a New Job and I'll Be Moving Far Away, so March is Ask James Anything Month<p>Hello, friends! It's been quite the week.<br />
<br />
You may've wondered why I seemed to disappear into the internet ether after my <a href="http://slurpeesandmurder.blogspot.ca/2014/02/james-hope-howard-liveblogs-cbc-feed-of_23.html">most recent post</a>. Those of you who also follow me <a href="https://twitter.com/jameshopehoward">on Twitter</a> were aware by then that my cat was pretty gravely ill around that time; I spent my time before that post my the time after that post coaxing medications into her, nine times per day, ultimately taking her back to the vet's the next day when she still didn't show any improvement. (The details get a little grisly, so I'm trying to be concise about it.)<br />
<br />
So I stuck next to the phone very closely those next few days, waiting for updates, and a rather different sort of call came in when I did; if you've encountered me any-elsewhere on the internet lately, you've <a href="http://winnipegcat.blogspot.ca/2014/02/february-27th-2014.html">already heard</a> the <a href="http://metronews.ca/news/winnipeg/955781/winnipeg-cat-lives-last-of-nine-lives/">big news</a>. My favourite cat in the world passed away, and I found out that I'll be moving 1,100 kilometres northwest about a month from now. Those two life events were within 24 hours of each other. It's been quite the week.<br />
<br />
Onward to adventure! I'm incredibly excited to become the Library Consultant for the <a href="http://www.pnls.lib.sk.ca/">Pahkisimon Nuye-ah Library System</a>, based out of Air Ronge, Saskatchewan. And when I say 'based', I mean that my role with the organization will involve extensive travel; I'll be making trips all around to <a href="http://www.pnls.lib.sk.ca/member-libraries-alphabetical-by-community.html">the member communities</a>, driving to anywhere that has a road (I'm told the furthest drive will be the six hours to La Loche) and flying to anywhere that doesn't. So as someone who really loves librarianship <i>and</i> really loves exploration, I'm quite looking forward to this new opportunity.<br />
<br />
If you've never been up there, it is <i>beautiful</i> scenery. I drove up there this past December (from Winnipeg, in one day -- get at me), and the route north from Prince Albert is two and a half hours through breathtaking boreal forest. And very early on in that drive, a great big sign beside the highway helpfully warns you that there won't be any gas stations for another 230 kilometres or so. <br />
<br />
That's the other thing: if you're unfamiliar with the La Ronge / Air Ronge area, you may not appreciate how far north it is. It's about two and a half hours north of Prince Albert, as I'd said, or approximately six and a half hours north of Regina. Y'know how <a href="http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/by-the-numbers-1.801937">90% of the Canadian population</a> lives within 160 kilometres of the US border? Well, this isn't that. When I say I'm moving north, I mean <i>a different biome</i> north.<br />
<br />
It's exciting! I'm really excited. (And if you've talked to me recently but <i>before</i> I landed the job, you knew how miserable I was feeling about a lot of things. Ah, but that was then.) But, alas, this means that I'll be leaving Winnipeg behind -- and with it, everything I've been doing around here. <br />
<br />
So with the position starting in the first week of April, I have about a month remaining to tie up everything I'd had on the go. The <a href="http://winnipegcat.blogspot.ca/">other blog</a> has now drawn to a close, and the <a href="http://archives.winnipeginternetpundits.com/">radio show</a> will run a few more episodes before officially concluding on March 19th. Here on Slurpees and Murder, I won't be around to finish <a href="http://slurpeesandmurder.blogspot.ca/search/label/ManLinkWeek">ManLinkWeek</a>, so I'll let that end where it stands -- and there're a couple more things I want to get onto the <a href="http://slurpeesandmurder.blogspot.ca/search/label/SMRC">Slurpees and Murder Record Club</a> before it's all said and done, so hopefully I'll get those out while they still make sense.<br />
<br />
Having established all that, I'd thought to myself -- well, what <i>can</i> I do to play this site off, for the last month I'm still around? And then I remembered, oh yeah, I <i>have</i> a March feature, I did it all through March last year.<br />
<br />
So let's give it one more spin, friends and faithful: March is <a href="http://slurpeesandmurder.blogspot.ca/search/label/AJAM">Ask James Anything Month</a>! If you've ever wondered or wanted my thoughts on something, well, now's the time, I'd say. Hit me up!<p>James Hope Howardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18143628957923923335noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35424944.post-17486129273555594592014-02-23T09:50:00.000-06:002014-02-23T12:54:50.853-06:00James Hope Howard Liveblogs the CBC Feed of the Sochi 2014 Winter Olympics Closing Ceremony<p><b>9:50 AM</b><br />
<br />
Well, good morning, sports fans! Hey, how 'bout that hockey game earlier today, huh? Canada can breathe easy for the next four years, now, after a Gold Medal game that was very exciting and not at all anticlimactic.<br />
<br />
<font size="1">(cough)</font><br />
<br />
We're live from (the CBC broadcast feed of) Fisht Stadium for the Sochi 2014 Winter Olympics Closing Ceremonies, so I'll do my best to keep up with it; let's you and I experience whatever's about to happen together, as the natural pairing bookend to my previous <a href="http://slurpeesandmurder.blogspot.ca/2014/02/james-hope-howard-liveblogs-cbc-feed-of.html">2014 Opening Ceremonies liveblog</a> (as well as the <a href="http://slurpeesandmurder.blogspot.ca/2010/02/james-howard-tape-delay-liveblogs-2010.html">opening</a> and <a href="http://slurpeesandmurder.blogspot.ca/2010/02/james-hope-howard-liveblogs-2010-winter.html">closing</a> ceremonies from 2010).<br />
<br />
They've just flashed a notice that the Ceremony proper isn't for another 27 minutes -- I presume they're starting it at fourteen past the hour, as they did with the opening -- but I'll kick off from the top of the hour and we'll figure it out from there. (It's all just montages, right now, so, y'know.)<br />
<br />
<b>10:00 AM</b><br />
<br />
The hockey and curling montage taking us into the top of the hour featured The Tragically Hip's classic "Blow at High Dough", which really just made me miss the Rick Mercer vehicle Made in Canada. Man, I liked that show.<br />
<br />
Exciting footage of athletes walking! So many athletes! So much walking!<br />
<br />
We join Scott Russell and Diana Swain -- what, where're my Ron & Peter, I was looking forward to those two -- Scott & Diana in the Fisht broadcast booth, who kill some time by listing the upcoming rebroadcasts before throwing it to various interview snippets from Canadian medal winners. Including an appearance by the Jennifer Jones team, which was nice; I lit out bright and early to take in that St. Vital Curling Club watching-party event earlier this week, it had a breakfast buffet at 6:30 AM and the bar open at 9:00 AM, it was super great.<br />
<br />
Back now with Scott & Diana, who plug Collider Films before now throwing to -- aww, man, another The Olympians feature? Erghhhhh can we just get to the vaguely terrifying Russian wackiness already, c'mon hurry it up already<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
<b>10:10 AM</b><br />
<br />
Ah, this is better. We get a rapid-fire day-by-day Canadian highlights summary package, which is handy for those of us (and by 'those of us' I mean me) who honestly kinda just tuned out during those middle parts with all the identical-looking-jumps-off-of-stuff events. I don't recognize the song, but it's one of those jangly midtempo guess-who-grew-up-listening-to-U2 tracks.<br />
<br />
Whoa, we jump right from that to our fanciful-CGI-frozen-hellscape montage -- it might actually be the same one from the Opening, it all seems so long ago now -- featuring our Hero Girl Lubov and snow-covered clocks sitting out in forests and children running through glowing mirrors. That kind of thing.<br />
<br />
I guess the mirror they ran through at the end is the <i>trigger</i> mirror, because we jump from there to a barrage of live-action fireworks outside the venue, then inside to a curtain of icicle lights and a bunch of runners carrying gigantic bird statues. This is followed by a boat suspended in the air, led at its tip by a chalk-white mime-clown waving a butterfly net at nothing.<br />
<br />
"There will be some nostalgia -- but we'll also have some fun. <i>Clowwwwns</i> will be involved -- as well as ballet dancers." was that a warning Scott or<br />
<br />
The floor below the flying child-carrying sky-boat is now overtaken by a rush of a couple hundred runners, all of them decked out what appear to be full ponchos of Christmas tinsel, and they form a yin-yang sign (I have no idea what special significance that holds in Russia) before breaking into a circular run and scurrying away again. This leads us into a commercial break, because, sure? I don't know how that supports the narrative being crafted here, but what do I know.<br />
<br />
<b>10:20 AM</b><br />
<br />
This is a very, very long commercial break, making me worry we're missing all that plot -- I tuned in for pageantry madness, you guys better not be making me miss any -- but it also does remind me that the World Cup is coming this summer, which honestly I usually enjoy way more than the Olympics on balance. SORRY WINTER<br />
<br />
Sure enough -- god dammit -- we come back from break to a full routine on stage, seven hundred dancers forming swirls and patterns. In a cute spot, they form into the now-famous Four Olympic Rings and One Olympic Nub, waiting a comedic few bars before that fifth ring finally slowly uncurls to complete the set.<br />
<br />
Everything stops now and the announcer welcomes President Putin, walking into the dignitaries box to... modest applause.<br />
<br />
A male PA announcer, now: "The host nation flag is carried by the Russian champions at the 2014 Winter Games!" They won, incidentally, both in golds and in overall medals, so I guess the whole thing went pretty well for them after all. (Hockey aside, of course. haaaaaa)<br />
<br />
The seven hundred Glittery Jims from earlier form a wall on either side of a white-light path for the 33 Russian medalists and a bigass Russian flag, carried slowly to the same ice podium from the Opening Ceremonies. Scott & Diana take this time to summarize, as neutrally as possible, the underlying tension of Putin as public face of the Sochi Games.<br />
<br />
Those rocket-popsicle lights are back as well, this time looking even cooler because they have the forest of icicle-rods suspended from the ceiling. We get the Russian anthem from a choir of what appears to be at least a couple hundred children, decked out in solid-colour puffy coats. But not in the layout of the flag, interestingly, just sort of strewn about. (Except they wouldn't be, would they? Someone must've carefully coordinated their coats into that seemingly-random order, the Olympic Closing Ceremonies aren't a time they just let performers wear whatever. OVERTHINKING THIS MOVING ON)<br />
<br />
man this is the extended version of the song, huh<br />
<br />
<b>10:34 AM</b><br />
<br />
Both the Russian and Olympic flags now raised, the song concludes; Scott, as Ron did before him, frames that anthem in the Canadian context of the '72 Summit Series. This takes us into another commercial break. (Man, I picked the wrong time to segment this.)<br />
<br />
CBC still doing everything it can to hype the Canucks/Senators Heritage Classic, because it desperately needs to squeeze all the hockey revenue it can out of the time it has left.<br />
<br />
Back now into the stadium for the closing flood of flags and athletes, which is always vastly speedier than the Opening Ceremony equivalent because everyone just speeds on in at once. The entry music is a slowed-down and European-productioned-up version of 2 Unlimited's "No Limit", which I am vastly more entertained by than I should be.<br />
<br />
This is also the triumphant return of the White-Russian-Metropolis-bot-Ladies, buffering the rows of athletes on either side as they come to a stop. The music transitions to a remix of Boney M.'s "Gotta Go Home" / Nighttrain's "Hallo Bimmelbahn", because Europe. <br />
<br />
"And there they are, the rest of Team Canada, you can see on their faces they're ready to have some fun." Yeah, uh, given the last two weeks of news outlets providing free publicity for Tinder, I'd say a lot of 'em're already probably all funned out by now.<br />
<br />
(Music update: Daft Punk's "One More Time".)<br />
<br />
<b>10:43 AM</b><br />
<br />
Do you like watching large groups of people walk slowly and take selfies on their phones? Well, have I got the ten minutes of programming for <i>you</i>!<br />
<br />
For the second time in a row, the feed cuts to commercial <i>just</i> after I timestamp and segment-break, so I guess that'll learn me. <br />
<br />
Dear CBC: stop trying to make Recipe To Riches happen. It's not going to happen.<br />
<br />
And we're back! There's a fun LCD-display effect going on over the crowd, the house lights strobing and the athletes milling around as Scott & Diana do their desperate best to make someone, anyone, care about the season premiere of Mr. D.<br />
<br />
Scott jokes around a bit about Jonathan Toews' "Captain Serious" monicker and Diana laughs a little about how surprisingly funky this segment of the ceremony is, so I'm already enjoying this way more than the segments preceding it. <br />
<br />
(Music update: Blur's "Song 2". Sigh.)<br />
<br />
OH BY THE WAY TEEMU SELANNE IS FINLAND'S FLAGBEARER, AS WELL AS THE HOCKEY TOURNAMENT MVP, AND BOTH OF THOSE ARE GREAT. Even Swain is not above our mass shared Teemumania, noting his civic cultural importance during her years working in Winnipeg.<br />
<br />
With the Russian athletes arriving at the back of the parade, we take a moment to admire the giant spinning globe projection over the floor of the stadium. <i>Then</i> they throw it to break, ah-<i>ha</i>! <i>Knew</i> I could wait it out that time!<br />
<br />
<b>10:55 AM</b><br />
<br />
"Monday -- it's the season premiere of <i>The Ron James Show</i>!" "Gerry Dee: The Substitute -- Monday at 8:00, on CBC!" oh god this network is doomed<br />
<br />
OKAY SERIOUSLY THIS ENTIRELY COMMERCIAL BREAK JUST NOW WENT GERRY DEE PROMO, RON JAMES PROMO, GERRY DEE PROMO, RON JAMES PROMO. CBC, WHAT ARE YOU DOING. CBC STAHP<br />
<br />
For reasons that I'm not entirely clear on, we're now doing a medal ceremony right here in the middle of the Closing Ceremony. Wait -- oh, it's the <i>marathon</i> medal, I get... it's the marathon <i>ski</i> medal? Well, I... I guess I <i>sort</i> of get it, then. It makes sense, but it doesn't make sense, y'know?<br />
<br />
Mike Babcock in a total dad-outfit taking awkward iPhone pics just legit cracked me up right now. He was making a quintessential Babcock face, too, it was majestic. You can do it, Mike, I believe in you!<br />
<br />
Great big cheer now for the men's marathon medalists as they enter, because Norway swept the women's event and Russia swept the men's event. Boy, these go on, don't they? They take their time with these, even when they're plunked down in the middle of something else.<br />
<br />
<b>11:05 AM</b><br />
<br />
The crowd goes wild for Alexander Legkov! He is apparently kind of a big deal. (When's the WAG's "Big In Russia" fundraiser?) Here, have more Russian anthem!<br />
<br />
The venue's certainly very nicely lit up, have to give 'em that. We get the newly-elected IOC members onto the ice podium now, including Canadian hockey heroine Hayley Wickenheiser. Four volunteer-representatives show up in ring-pop-lookin' snowsuits to wave as the Salute to the Volunteers, everyone provides a standing ovation, and we cut to an ad break because of course we do. YES WE GET IT YOU CALL THE BUDGET THE "ECONOMIC ACTION PLAN" NOW THANK YOU<br />
<br />
<b>11:10 AM</b><br />
<br />
And we're back to--OH GOD WHAT ARE WE BACK TO<br />
<br />
In the time it took for an old dad to miss the start of the game at a McDonalds, the stadium has been overrun by a vast swarm of colourful bird-clowns on stilts and an upside-down floating inflatable village and flying white-queen-women playing violin. A man in a sailor outfit is trapped in a snowstorm under a starry moon sky. Everything is happening.<br />
<br />
Then, suddenly, nothing is happening; the stadium goes dark with a thunderstorm noise, and at centre stage a piano rises from the mist. Now it's just a pianist in a tuxedo playing Rachmaninoff, by himself, because -- as with the Opening Ceremony -- I guess occasionally they just pause and throw some culture in there by itself for the heck of it.<br />
<br />
Oh, no, wait, never mind. He is promptly approached by the three children from the CGI intro, Our Hero Girl Lubov and her two new friends, and <i>they</i> are promptly swarmed by a flood of high-wigged old-timey-musician caricatures pushing a phalanx of stage-prop pianos. We fire to another ad break just as the pianos begin rotating in sequence, so I can only imagine what we're about to return to after this.<br />
<br />
<b>11:20 AM</b><br />
<br />
We return to a giant curtain facade lifting and the played-totally-straight ballet portion of the event, which I am entirely on board for. D'you know how much all this culture'd run you on the street? This is good stuff!<br />
<br />
"To give you some idea of scale," Diana chips in, "that chandelier is seven meters tall." It looks very tiny on screen. This is a <i>very</i> big stadium--OH GO AWAY ALREADY TRANSITIONAL MYSTICAL CHILD GANG, C'MON<br />
<br />
Something large drifts along in the background, behind the wave of ballet dancers long-stepping in unison, but I guess we'll have to wait to see what that ends up being. We're into the part of the ballet where long rows of people run onstage, do a move, and then stand in place for the next row to run in, so we're probably getting close to the end of the segment.<br />
<br />
(Yep, ad break.)<br />
<br />
<b>11:25 AM</b><br />
<br />
SunCor what in hell is your ad even talking about, seriously<br />
<br />
WHY DOES THE ROYAL CANADIAN MINT EVEN ADVERTISE, WHO ARE THEY COMPETING WITH, AUGH<br />
<br />
We return, finally, to an overhead shot of the Games grounds; inside the stadium, a magical Winnebago decked out in Christmas lights is leading a parade of Christmas-cracker-lookin' allegedly-clown-gymnasts around the room. The projection lights swirl a candy cane pattern in five distinct circles; a giant circus tent rises and expands above the centre of the floor, the gym-clowns turning to it and raising their arms to hail their new tent god. <br />
<br />
Most gymnasts are tossing clubs or balancing from hoops or flinging and catching each other, so it's <i>really</i> funny when they cut to a side view and there's one clown-dude who's seriously and legitimately just breakdancing. BREAKDANCE CLOWN DEMANDS YOUR RESPECT<br />
<br />
The Stay-Puft soldier guy reappears in the crowd behind Our Hero Girl Lubov and her nightmare hallucination travel team, and their arrival once again heralds an oncoming commercial break. From the sound of the commentary team, the Ceremony's set to wrap up pretty soon -- but first, away we go again!<br />
<br />
<b>11:35 AM</b><br />
<br />
Well, it <i>must</i> be getting close to over, we come back and the stadium is all dark-blue lighting. Quick crowd shot of the Canadian Olympic team -- haaaa I love you Babcock -- and then back to the ice-podium for the Greek national anthem and the ceremonial don't-think-too-hard-about-this-part portion of the Olympics brand. Lotta fierce Skeleton competitions in ancient Greece whole lotta legendary Curling rivalries.<br />
<br />
As the symbolic Ancient-Games representatives lower the Olympic flag and make off with it, we can take a moment to admire the crowd lights; they'd apparently handed out light-up medals before the show, so the crowd is now a vast sea of blinking white pods.<br />
<br />
IOC dignitaries are now on stage for the ceremonial handing-over-of-the-flag -- I'm sure there's a more proper name for that, it's a heck of a thing to type -- which means we <i>should</i> be getting a pretty flashy South Korea hype video in a minute or two.<br />
<br />
"The Mayor of Sochi hands the flag over to the President of the IOC," the PA announcers narrate in three languages, "who then entrusts it to the Mayor of Pyeongchang." Yes, I just had to Google how to spell 'Pyeongchang'. No, I ain't proud of it. The handoff complete, we get two adorable Korean children in traditional dress now singing the Korean National Anthem. It is very pretty. Everyone applauds.<br />
<br />
"And when we come back, we'll hear Korea, as they begin their invitation to the next Winter Games!" oh c'monnnnn<br />
<br />
<b>11:45 AM</b><br />
<br />
hey Government of Canada you do get that the rest of the developed world is still laughing at us for how exorbitantly we're overcharged on cellular service right<br />
<br />
We come back <i>partway</i> through the Korea segment -- c'mon, man -- to an elegant opera singer and a flock of bird-ish winged runners, who light up luminescently as the floor darkens and projects a starry night sky. They flap their glow-in-the-dark wings and swirl around as a second Korean singer takes over, then everything explodes into action at once; giant glowing dung-beetle-ish balls are rolled in from all directions, a man in a retro white suit bangs on a grand piano, someone in a sequined white tuxedo begins singing and emoting on stage, a sudden string of small children begin running through giant paper gates, a man in a silver jumpsuit does a very flexible high kick beside an inflatable snowman.<br />
<br />
A circle of jumping and waving dancers dressed like microwaved potatoes lead in a bunch of people in understated blue snowsuits, who then link hands and circle around a smaller group of decorative children. The floor projection forms "See You in Pyeongchang" in stars, an oddly modest little sentence, and their segment ends with a big cymbal crash and all of the performers waving with both hands.<br />
<br />
This leads into a video package of slow-motion highlights, to fill some time while they get the physical stage moved back around again, and when we come back we have men in suits standing very rigidly and awkwardly on either side of the podium -- aww, heck, it's the speeches. Well, settle in for platitudes, I guess. (Example excerpt: "Thank you to the athletes!")<br />
<br />
<b>12:00 PM</b><br />
<br />
The Sochi 2014 organizing committee head sticks almost exclusively to Russian, unsurprisingly, but from the translator's account of it we aren't missing anything in particular. Polite applause for volunteers, folks woo-ing whenever Russia is mentioned, that sort of thing.<br />
<br />
"This is the new face of Russia," he declares, switching to English. "Our Russia. And for us, these Games are the best ever." Is it weird that every successive Winter Games host seems to be able to declare that? <br />
<br />
We throw it over now to IOC President Thomas Bach, who basically duplicates the work of the speech prior ("Thank you, volunteers! Thank you, ath-e-letes!") to continued polite applause. He again offers an Olympic message of tolerance and dialogue and peace, which NBC'll probably cut from their broadcast again (haaaaa, that was really something, wasn't it), and complements the Russians on getting such admirable facilities built so noticeably quickly. There is a... cautiously positive crowd response upon his thanking Putin personally.<br />
<br />
Bach continues ever-so-slightly pushing his luck with his statements, asking everyone to build a civil society with an open mind in Russia, that sort of thing, before returning to the safer neutral statements about goodness in sport and everyone being friends and whatnot. (To help show how riveting this must be in person, the production team cuts to crowd shots of Russian athletes taking selfies with each other.)<br />
<br />
"We'll return to the Closing Ceremony in a moment," we're told as soon as Bach stops talking, so let's wait around that little bit longer to see what's left. AD BREAK<br />
<br />
<b>12:10 PM</b><br />
<br />
AAAAH THE GIANT CHUCK-E-CHEESE SOCHI MASCOTS ARE BACK<br />
<br />
PLEASE GET THESE DREAMWORKS NIGHTMARES OFF MY SCREEN IN AN EXPEDIENT MANNER<br />
<br />
THE RABBIT ISN'T BLINKING BOTH ITS EYES SIMULTANEOUSLY OH GOD<br />
<br />
The three animatronic horrors continue slaloming around the stage, a series of suspended mirrors very slowly rotating in the centre of the stadium; the mirrors then rise to reveal the Three Terrors standing around the Olympic cauldron, the Bear looming over it like he's going to blow it out. He... emotes, sort of? It's very technologically impressive, but also probably inspiring deep shivers and nights of lost sleep around the world right now.<br />
<br />
So the gigantic hellbear blows a gust of grey-blue smoke over the cauldron -- simultaneously extinguishing the Olympic Flame statue outside, a cutaway reveals -- and then they ZOOM RIGHT IN ON THE BEARFACE and THE BEAR CRIES A SINGLE MELODRAMATIC TEAR and holy shit I am laughing way harder at this than I would ever have expected. THEY LINGER ON THE SINGLE TEAR AS IT VERY SLOWLY STREAKS DOWN THE BEAR'S FACE.<br />
<br />
SINGLE TEEEEEEEAR<br />
<br />
There are thousands of children on the stage, now, carrying tiny lights and singing some sort of melancholy farewell ballad as SINGLE TEAR BEAR CONTINUES EMOTING and an airship -- AN AIRSHIP -- the goddamn Blackjack from Final Fantasy III/VIj comes sailing through the airspace with Our Hero Girl Lubov and a motherly-looking opera singer aboard. Yellow confetti is flooding the world. The Bear is staring up into nowhere and waving its arms slowly like it's stoned at Folk Fest. <br />
<br />
It seems we've hit peak weirdness with that segment, as the finale of the song transitions into an exterior shot of the stadium and a big dramatic closing fireworks display. Set to a surprisingly reserved solo piano, at that! <br />
<br />
I am <i>really</i> excited for the inevitable wave of crying-giant-Sochi-Bear animated .GIFs, you guys, you have no idea.<br />
<br />
The fireworks continue, exploding in time to the piano flourishes as the rest of the orchestra joins in, and culminate in a gigantic cinematic fireball over the left side of the screen. The PA announcers thank everybody in three languages for being in attendance, Scott Russell promises that we'll be right back -- to what, I don't know yet -- and we go to what will surely be a ridiculously long commercial break, since we made it almost twenty minutes since the last one.<br />
<br />
THAT SINGLE TEAR, THOUGH<br />
<br />
<b>12:30 PM</b><br />
<br />
(<a href="http://deadspin.com/crying-nightmare-bear-1529139972">That was quick</a>. AHHHHHH ha ha ha ha ha ha)<br />
<br />
good news ladies you can finally be strong independent women because Cover Girl has given you permission<br />
<br />
We return to a... to a laser Eurotechno athlete rave? All right, laser Eurotechno athlete rave it is, then. There are screens set up with a CGI leopard DJing on them, and glowsticks are a-waving all around the floor, so the CBC takes this time to throw it to a prerecorded interview with Canadian Olympic Committee President Marcel Aubut. <i>Then</i> I guess they realize that this must seem sort of boring by itself, so they do a split-screen of the interview on the left and the rave on the right, but you can't hear any music so it looks like a thousand people jumping around and just jamming the fuck out to a grandfatherly old man talking about sports. <i>Then</i> they start alternating the full-screen <i>between</i> the two, because why not, right, and it turns out they interwove prior highlights <i>into</i> the interview with Aubut, so there's a real kaleidoscope of who-even-knows going on right now onscreen.<br />
<br />
We finally return to live footage as the interview runs its course, smaller fireworks still exploding over the Olympic site as volunteers dance around and very, <i>very</i> '90s dance music pumps through the stadium. Lot of milling around on the floorcam, here, so -- another video package set to a vaguely-inspiring instrumental? Yep, another video package set to a vaguely-inspiring instrumental. <br />
<br />
And then a commercial break. So, yeah, all right, I think we're pretty well near done here. I'll give it one more segment just in case, though!<br />
<br />
<b>12:45 PM</b><br />
<br />
CBC already advertising the 2016 Rio Summer Olympics, could you hold off on that for a little while longer maybe or<br />
<br />
We return now, through the lead-in ad bumper, tooooo -- an ad for the encore broadcast of Canada/Sweden. Oh, and Mr. D, because they know you care <i>very</i> much. And then an ad for the encore broadcast of the Closing Ceremonies, but apparently from the sound of it <i>that</i> one gets Ron McLean hosting? Man, I don't even know.<br />
<br />
We get some brief closing impressions from Scott & Diana, who chat a bit about the athlete's experiences and whatnot, and the broadcast closes with a quick video package of the Ceremony's main hits. (Though they use the Bear extinguishing the flame rather than the Bear crying, so the heck with <i>that</i>.)<br />
<br />
And that wraps it up! Well, that was... as strange as I know this sounds, that was actually sort of understated, compared to the endless lucid maniascape of giant Mounties and inflatable moose that Canada put on four years prior. Though, considering how badly some of the comedy bombed at <i>that</i> show, it's probably wise to just stick to visual flair.<br />
<br />
Anyway -- I guess that's the show! Thanks for reading along, and I hope you've enjoyed the experience as much as I have; I'll be back here later tonight with some <a href="http://slurpeesandmurder.blogspot.ca/search/label/ManLinkWeek">Manitoba Links Weekly</a>, if you're into that. Until then!<p>James Hope Howardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18143628957923923335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35424944.post-30738669086353263982014-02-16T22:49:00.000-06:002014-02-18T16:04:08.704-06:00Manitoba Links Weekly: REEFER MADNESS, Sage... Madness(?), Does This Mean I Shouldn't Bring a Samurai Sword to the Art Gallery, and Here's That Winnipeg Blog Compendium You've Been Waiting For (ManLinkWeek S02E17)<p>Ha, well, so much for my earlier plan! I wish I had a super-cool story about the very important and dramatic events that kept me from having this post out earlier, but the truth of it is just that the Olympic hockey is on <i>way</i> late at night (and onward through to morning!) so I'm on some very wonky sleep patterns. These are very important patriotic considerations! This'll just have to be a Sunday feature, I think, until all <i>that</i> gets sorted out. Please bear with me in the meantime.<br />
<br />
So hello and welcome to a <a href="http://slurpeesandmurder.blogspot.ca/search/label/ManLinkWeek">Manitoba Links Weekly</a>! Brace yourselves for the week's worth of content, it's quite the flurry today.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://archives.winnipeginternetpundits.com/post/76478727033/february-12th-2014-where-theres-smoke-theres">This week on Winnipeg Internet Pundits</a> I opened the show by not working a telephone correctly, because I am the smartest there is. (Well, okay, in fairness -- it was actually a switch outside the studio that needed flipping, rather than anything to do with the phone machinery itself. But it took me a minute or two to properly diagnose that while still keeping it together on-air.) Once <i>that</i> got settled, though, it was a very good show! Rather a good show, and I hope that you will enjoy it.<br />
<br />
Let's light up the <a href="http://slurpeesandmurder.blogspot.ca/search/label/ManLinkWeek">ManLinkWeek</a>!<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
[ <a href="http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/manitoba/watt-street-head-shop-owner-closes-after-police-raid-business-1.2523267">CBC Manitoba: Watt Street head shop owner closes after police raid business</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://metronews.ca/news/winnipeg/931091/winnipeg-head-shops-being-pressured-to-close-by-police-owners/">Metro Winnipeg: Winnipeg head shops being pressured to close by police: Owners</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/local/police-raids-on-head-shops-deflate-wild-planet-owner-244172751.html">Winnipeg Free Press: Police raids on head shops deflate Wild Planet owner</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://winnipeg.ca/police/press/2014/02feb/2014_02_07.stm#statement">Winnipeg Police Service: Winnipeg Police Service Media Release For Immediate Release - Statement Concerning Retail Outlets Investigation</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegsun.com/2014/02/07/headshop-crackdown-for-safety-police">Winnipeg Sun: Headshop crackdown for safety: Police</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/manitoba/is-there-a-war-on-winnipeg-head-shops-owners-say-yes-1.2527998">CBC Manitoba: Is there a war on Winnipeg head shops? Owners say yes</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegsun.com/2014/02/11/owners-say-they-run-legitimate-business-but-city-isnt-helping">Winnipeg Sun: Head shop owners say they run legitimate business but city isn't helping</a> ]<br />
<a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/local/its-high-time-to-end-crackdown-on-head-shops-244669711.html">Winnipeg Free Press: It's high time to end crackdown on head shops</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/business/besieged-shops-gain-bc-ally-244833181.html">Winnipeg Free Press: Besieged shops gain B.C. ally</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://metronews.ca/news/winnipeg/937850/head-shop-owners-consider-national-trade-association-after-winnipeg-arrests/">Metro Winnipeg: Head shop owners consider national trade association after Winnipeg arrests</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.facebook.com/SaveTheHeadShops/posts/253430848163825?stream_ref=10">Save Our Head Shops (Facebook Group): We have some great news that we would like to announce:</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/manitoba/winnipeg-head-shop-owner-says-charges-against-him-stayed-1.2536301">CBC Manitoba: Winnipeg head shop owner says charges against him stayed</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/local/crown-stays-charges-against-head-shop-owner-245490491.html">Winnipeg Free Press: Crown stays charges against head-shop owner</a> ]<br />
Do you remember the Laszlo Piszker media frenzy from a couple of years ago? Piszker was the retired septuagenarian assessed a $200 traffic ticket for using a cellphone while driving, despite his repeated insistence that <a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/local/cellphone-ticket-but-no-cellphone-141398013.html">he didn't own a cellphone</a>. When the story proved to have legs, the Winnipeg Police Service <a href="http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/manitoba/winnipeg-police-dispute-senior-s-cellphone-ticket-claim-1.1267019">publicly accused Piskzer of lying</a> -- a very rare and unusual choice of approach, especially in an open case set to go to court -- and the blowback to <i>that</i> exercise in Building Relationships was such that the Crown elected to lay low and <a href="http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/manitoba/winnipeg-senior-s-cellphone-ticket-stayed-1.1227739">quietly stay the charges later</a>. (To <a href="http://www.winnipegsun.com/2012/11/30/cellphone-driving-ticket">police chagrin</a>, one must note.)<br />
<br />
The Police Association, at the time, openly worried that the City's demands to increase ticket revenues <a href="http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/manitoba/police-criticized-for-frivolous-ticket-blitz-1.1220955">could damage the Police Service's public support</a>; this is worth mentioning because the Police Service went on to issue <a href="http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/manitoba/photo-radar-tickets-spike-by-nearly-30k-in-winnipeg-1.2531275">30,000 more photo radar tickets in 2013 than in 2012</a>, and it's hard to imagine that it's won them many new fans in that span. <br />
<br />
A citizen -- the little guy, the common man, somebody that people can get behind -- receives a police punishment that he feels is unfair and heavy-handed, because he insists that he's done nothing wrong; the Police Service, finding itself made to look like the bad guy, doubles down on a position that later turns out to be untenable; the Crown, facing a case it feels entirely unconvinced it can win, drops the charges as discreetly as it can at the first opportunity. And none of this helps the Police any, in the public eye, especially ahead of the next time that something comes down to he-said-they-said.<br />
<br />
Which brings us to today, and to the very sudden interest that the Police took in head shops and glassware sellers around the city this month. No fewer than three locally-owned, long-running small-business community institutions -- Hemp Haven on Larsen Avenue (open for 12 years), City Haul on Corydon Avenue (15 years) and Wild Planet in Osborne Village (34 years) -- came forward with claims that Winnipeg police had been making the rounds, ordering head shops to close within 30 days or face raids and prosecution. All three announced their intentions to close up shop, as well, arguing that the action -- 'harassment', their choice of wording -- made the proposition of continuing operations a losing one.<br />
<br />
"<i>The Winnipeg Police Service</i>", a <a href="http://winnipeg.ca/police/press/2014/02feb/2014_02_07.stm#statement">WPS media release</a> soon read, "<i>wishes to clarify that there have not been any widespread 'raids' targeting these outlets, nor has there been a demand that these businesses cease operations.</i>"<br />
(. . .)<br />
"<i>Since the spring of 2013, officers have been visiting many of the local stores to discuss complaints brought forward by community members, organizations and school administrators.</i>"<br />
(. . .)<br />
"<i>The Winnipeg Police Service is committed to working with business owners and concerned community stakeholders to address the matter.</i>"<br />
<br />
Each of these statements would turn out to be problematic, in their own way. <br />
<br />
Recall that the Police had a problem in 2012 convincing the public to disbelieve <i>one</i> citizen, who'd claimed to not own a cellphone. So they gained little ground in directly contradicting the word of <i>three</i> citizens, all of them with the same experience in different places and none of them with anything to gain in closing their stores (especially with competitors closing at the same time). The nebulous claim of "complaints brought forward" <a href="http://twitter.com/bkives/status/433627863514750976">had no evidence to support it</a>. And the business owners, when asked, certainly did not indicate that the Police Service had taken any steps to work <i>with</i> them; rather, they stated they'd not even been told which products on their shelves were being allowed or disallowed.<br />
<br />
"<i><a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/local/crown-stays-charges-against-head-shop-owner-245490491.html">Loewen scoffed</a> when told of a report he was never charged in the first place. 'I have the paperwork in my pocket,' he said.</i>"<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-conversation="none" lang="en"><p><a href="https://twitter.com/bkives">@bkives</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/aldosantin">@aldosantin</a> I had a former Winnipegger text me today to ask if I was living in a police state.</p>— Aaron Leigh Ingram (@Aaron_L_Ingram) <a href="https://twitter.com/Aaron_L_Ingram/statuses/433628796156006401">February 12, 2014</a></blockquote><script async src="//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script><br />
It was not going well, let's put it that way.<br />
<br />
Several councillors -- I count <a href="http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/manitoba/watt-street-head-shop-owner-closes-after-police-raid-business-1.2523267">Mayes</a>, <a href="http://metronews.ca/news/winnipeg/935044/conditional-use-for-head-shops-coun-scott-fielding/">Fielding</a> and <a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/local/City-looks-at-zoning-regulations-for-head-shops-244759171.html">Eadie</a> let me know if I missed anyone -- took this opportunity to grandstand about zoning against allowing head shops near schools, a won't-somebody-<i>please</i>-think-of-the-children solution to a <i>completely</i> different problem from the one actually happening at the time. "We'll keep new head shops away from schools!" That's great and all, but <i>existing</i> head shops are being hunted to extinction on laws they haven't broken and what appear to be illegitimate grounds, so if you could maybe look into that first that'd be a big help. <br />
<br />
(But this does give us some clues, at least, about who exactly decided on the police's behalf that this crackdown was suddenly a priority.)<br />
<br />
And if you're actually <i>serious</i>-serious about stomping out the dread demon marijuana -- which you really <i>shouldn't</i> be dreading, because <i>you live in Winnipeg</i>, and you've smelled Folk Fest before -- you're at the wrong end of Osborne Village, you should be sending police to the bus shack and the Subway at River and Osborne where <i>dudes wander up and try to sell you weed</i>. Dude, I just want to get home, leave me alone, c'mon.<br />
<br />
Who are these people making these alleged complaints about marijuana? Have you stopped to wonder about this? Winnipeg is notorious across Canada as one of the weed-friendlier cities in an already weed-friendly country; the kids love it, the adults love it, the <i>seniors</i> love it (the first wave of Boomers, who started this whole mess, are nearing their 70s), and there are entire neighbourhoods in town that can be expected to smell like it as soon as the temperature cracks positive numbers. Our once-puritan national neighbours to the south are beginning to embrace it, one of our national federal parties is talking about decriminalizing it -- and we're worried that <i>head shops</i> will influence our schools? If illegal transactions were possible to track, I'd lay serious money that schools are one of the main places weed is <i>sold</i>! <br />
<br />
To give you some idea of how ridiculous the whole affair became, I want you to consider the following passages from a pair of news reports.<br />
<br />
"<i><a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/local/City-looks-at-zoning-regulations-for-head-shops-244759171.html">Coun. Harvey Smith expressed caution</a> that his colleagues might be over-reacting, adding he wants any administrative report to include data on how many head shops operate in the city and where they are located.</i>"<br />
<br />
"<i><a href="http://www.winnipegsun.com/2014/02/11/owners-say-they-run-legitimate-business-but-city-isnt-helping">I don't want to interfere with their business unless there's a striking need for it</a>,' said Counc. Harvey Smith.</i>"<br />
<br />
Listen: when Harvey Smith is the libertarian best-for-business laissez-faire voice of reason in a situation, <i>something has gone awry</i>.<br />
<br />
So a common-man little-guy citizen made his argument, and the police doubled down with their counter-argument, and the Crown... can you guess what the Crown did? You can guess what the Crown did: they stayed the charges. (Unsurprisingly so; there haven't been any successful prosecutions on these particular laws <a href="http://winnipeg.ctvnews.ca/head-shop-back-in-business-after-owner-arrested-1.1681877">in sixteen years</a>.)<br />
<br />
And what have we learned from all this? Ehh, probably nothing. That's the thing about cycles; sometimes they just repeat themselves. But we'll see how the Police handle the next similar situation, the next time something comes down to he-said-they-said.<br />
<br />
Moving on, and speaking of trouble stemming from unfair marijuana associations:<br />
<br />
[ <a href="http://www.cbc.ca/news/aboriginal/first-nations-teen-told-not-to-smudge-before-school-1.2524641">CBC Aboriginal: First Nations teen told not to smudge before school</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://aptn.ca/news/2014/02/06/brandon-student-told-smudge-school-confuses-sage-weed-cites-scent-policy/">APTN National News: Manitoba student told not to smudge after school confuses sage for weed, cites scent policy</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://winnipeg.ctvnews.ca/brandon-school-division-threatens-to-suspend-student-for-smudging-1.1674449">CTV Winnipeg: Brandon School Division threatens to suspend student for smudging</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/local/student-told-not-to-smudge-before-school-244172851.html">Winnipeg Free Press: Student told not to smudge before school</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://aptn.ca/news/2014/02/10/student-filing-human-rights-school-smudging-stance/">APTN National News: Student filing human rights against school over smudging stance</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://aptn.ca/news/2014/02/11/brandon-school-responds-smudging-scandal-dakota-student-continues-smudge-daily/">APTN National News: Brandon school responds to smudging scandal, Dakota student continues to smudge daily</a> ]<br />
Oh, no. Oh, <i>no</i>. This was the worst, just the worst imaginable of unfortunate escalation.<br />
<br />
I don't think anybody doubts that the school originally <i>meant</i> well with its no-scent policies, or that the white folk in charge <i>meant</i> well with their ultimately bumbling efforts, but oh my <i>god</i> is that ever a bad look. <br />
<br />
Firstly, you've smelled weed before, right? My site stats indicate that most of you fine readers live in Winnipeg, which means, yes, you've smelled weed before. (Y'all saw the last segment above, I don't need to harp on the point.) Well, I don't know if you've smelled <i>sage</i> before -- the herb used in this traditional aboriginal smudging ceremony -- but it <i>doesn't smell like weed</i>. You have to be some kinda combination of sheltered and willfully ignorant to confuse the two, and then pretty guileless on top of that to begin lobbing accusations around based on it.<br />
<br />
All of that is bad enough by itself. But when a white-run school phones an aboriginal parent to tell them their child will be sent home if they persist in smudging -- when a school, in not-exactly-historically-squeaky-clean Manitoba, goes out of its way to insist that aboriginal religion and culture will not be tolerated within its walls -- well, AUGH. There is no way to phrase this scenario in a way that doesn't feel <i>incredibly</i> gross. <br />
<br />
On the bright side, the prominence of this story (especially if that human rights complaint does get filed) means that school divisions across the country will have to acknowledge the need for accommodation and plan ahead, so this <i>should</i> -- eternal optimism -- <i>should</i> be the worst the story ever gets. And, fortunately for everybody, this was the only clueless institutional racial insensitivity of the week--<br />
<br />
[ <a href="http://winnipeglive.ca/2014/01/birchwood-bmw-art-soul-big-in-japan/">Winnipeg Live: Birchwood BMW Art & Soul: Big In Japan</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://jenny-heijun-wills.tumblr.com/post/76121165764/the-winnipeg-art-gallery-and-the-yellow-face-peril">A.K.A. Jenny Wills: The Winnipeg Art Gallery and the Yellow(Face) Peril</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegsun.com/2014/02/11/winnipeg-art-gallery-event-called-out-for-peddling-stereotypes">Winnipeg Sun: Winnipeg Art Gallery event called out for peddling stereotypes</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/manitoba/racism-complaints-force-wag-to-rework-fundraiser-theme-1.2534049">CBC Manitoba: Racism complaints force WAG to rework fundraiser theme</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/opinion/analysis/why-the-wag-cancelled-its-event-245490251.html">Winnipeg Free Press: Why the WAG changed the theme of its fundraiser</a> ]<br />
--sighhhhhhh<br />
<br />
"<i><a href="http://winnipeglive.ca/2014/01/birchwood-bmw-art-soul-big-in-japan/">Join us</a>, on Saturday, February 22nd, 2014 at Birchwood BMW Art & Soul: Big in Japan. Hosted by the Winnipeg Art Gallery, this party will be so epic that you’ll think you’re 'Turning Japanese.'</i>"<br />
<br />
oh god<br />
<br />
"<i>Grab your chopsticks, throw on a kimono and celebrate Japanese culture Harajuku style. Hang out in a pagoda and sip on some sake, or show off your jujitsu skills and impress the geisha girls that you’re bound to run into.</i>"<br />
<br />
oh <b>god</b><br />
<br />
"<i>Watch 'Hello Kitty!' Dance with a Yakuza, chat Science with David Suzuki, or fight evil with Sailor moon. Each floor of the WAG will showcase a vibrant and unique piece of Japanese culture.</i>"<br />
<br />
Yakuza don't exactly 'dance' per se, David Suzuki was born and raised in <i>Vancouver</i>, "Sailor moon" should have the 'm' <i>capitalized</i>, and WHAT IS ANY OF THIS<br />
<br />
"<i>Visit our live DJs on EVERY FLOOR, and join the 'Dance Dance' revolution.</i>"<br />
<br />
okay I mean I like DDR and all but Japan's recorded history actually goes back about three times longer than ours does, and that's not to overemphasize recorded history at the expense of those present before it or anything, but do you think reducing the entirety of that output to a few borderline-stereotypical pop-cultural touchstones could maybe cause some certain <i>issues</i> or<br />
<br />
"<i>Enjoy a round of traditional Japanese Sapporo, or embrace your inner ninja and try our samurai-sword shooters.</i>"<br />
<br />
oh, god<br />
<br />
"<i>Impress us enough? You’ll know when you hear the sound of the gong!</i>"<br />
<br />
NO<br />
<br />
"<i>Dress in theme or cocktail attire, just make sure it’s Kawaii (cute!)</i>"<br />
<br />
I just, you just, I don't... I don't. <br />
<br />
Ergh. Well. The <i>important</i> thing is that they <a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/opinion/analysis/why-the-wag-cancelled-its-event-245490251.html">apologized</a>, and... and they, uh... oh.<br />
<br />
"<i>With the controversy surrounding the Art & Soul event, there were certain individuals in the community, including academics and activists, who saw this as an opportunity to bring attention to platforms related to their own work and interests, and issues in our society.<br />
<br />
The WAG saw this as an opportunity for dialogue. Tweets and Facebook posts multiplied, and quickly there were calls to cancel the event. While many of the comments had little to do with the actual theme of the event or the aims of the committee; we still felt it was best to drop the theme completely.</i>"<br />
<br />
Just to, y'know, just to make sure you know they were the victims in all of this. Just a-puttin' that out there! Would've been a <i>real great time</i>, if not for those academics and activists. The WAG just wanted to talk! They wanted to talk, and certain individuals with their own work and interests shut everything down, and now nobody gets to drink samurai-sword shooters while pretending to be organized criminals and subjugated women. THANKS, ACADEMICS AND ACTIVISTS.<br />
<br />
There's a certain strange dramatic irony in the WAG event touting anime as a symbol of its welcoming cultural togetherness, because Japanese manga and anime have a problematic streak of sympathetic Nazi characters. Ask your otaku friend -- you may not know you have one, but you have at <i>least</i> one -- ask an otaku about Hetalia: Axis Powers cosplay. It's, uh... it's some Prince Harry shit, let's put it that way. <br />
<br />
('Nazi chic'. No, I'm not kidding.)<br />
<br />
Let's move on to something a bit cheerier, shall we?<br />
<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/opinion/analysis/attack-ad-is-baseless-245138511.html">Winnipeg Free Press: Attack ad is baseless</a> ]<br />
Ha ha ha ha, yep, this is more familiar territory, all right. Remember that <a href="http://www.cjob.com/2014/02/08/ndp-convention-continues-attack-ads-to-be-rolled-out/">latest NDP attack ad</a>? The not particularly good one, yes. Remember how it trotted out many of the Manitoba NDP's most treasured go-to attack lines -- a thousand fired nurses, seven hundred fired teachers, <a href="http://slurpeesandmurder.blogspot.ca/2013/08/keep-calm-and-blame-filmon-or-1999-was.html">the shadow of the dread beast Filmon</a>, and so on?<br />
<br />
The NDP continuing to pull citations from 1996 and 1999 was probably already damning enough, but Deveryn Ross -- who's been killin' it on the provincial file lately -- followed the citations that the advertisement uses and found that, well, as it turns out, nothing the NDP claims to be citing is actually true. <br />
<br />
Whoops! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ <br />
<br />
This hasn't <i>dissuaded</i> the NDP, of course -- if anything, they've <a href="http://pallisterpcs.ca/">redoubled the effort</a> -- but this'll be a good reminder going forward to not trust their citations any more than you, uh, than you probably trust anything else out of 'em. <br />
<br />
Though I must note, of course, in all fairness, that none of this would've happened if Gary Filmon hadn't fired those thousand fact-checkers. THAT IS ONE THOUSAND JOBS LOST UNDER THE FILMON GOVERNMENT MISTER SPEAKER<br />
<br />
[ <a href="http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/manitoba/co-op-grocery-stores-moving-into-winnipeg-1.2536980">CBC Manitoba: Co-op grocery stores moving into Winnipeg</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.cjob.com/2014/02/14/everyones-a-winner-in-safeway-sobeys-co-op-deal/">680 CJOB: Everyone’s A Winner in Safeway-Sobeys-Co-op Deal</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://globalnews.ca/news/1151543/co-op-to-take-over-winnipeg-safeway-stores/">Global Winnipeg: Co-op to take over Winnipeg Safeway stores</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegsun.com/2014/02/14/co-op-taking-over-4-safeways">Winnipeg Sun: Co-op taking over 4 Safeways</a> ] <br />
[ <a href="http://westenddumplings.blogspot.ca/2014/02/red-river-co-ops-first-foray-into.html">West End Dumplings: Red River Co-op's first foray into the grocery business (1958 - 1983)</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/local/co-op-biting-off-just-enough-245655461.html">Winnipeg Free Press: Co-op biting off just enough</a> ]<br />
The bad news: if you collect Air Miles, these new Co-op grocery stores will not be offering them the way the Safeways used to. The good news: <i>literally everything else</i>. Nuts to Safeway, man. If brands could be burnt to the ground, I'd be the first in that line with the gasoline.<br />
<br />
Speaking of hot developments (segue!):<br />
<br />
[ <a href="http://bloggingwinnipeg.wordpress.com">bloggingwinnipeg.wordpress.com: bloggingwinnipeg | Find out what Winnipeggers are saying.</a> ]<br />
Awwwwwww yissssssssss. A compendium! A handy quick-reference guide to the local blogosphere, sorted by categories and updating steadily.<br />
<br />
It's a wonderful idea, at just the right time, and I'll be really excited to watch it develop and blossom in the coming days and weeks. And I'm not just saying that because whoever's running it <a href="http://bloggingwinnipeg.wordpress.com/2014/02/13/slurpees-and-murder/">picked me its very first entry</a>.<br />
<br />
Not to brag, but if we correspond this new Blogging Winnipeg site to <a href="http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/List_of_Pok%C3%A9mon_by_National_Pok%C3%A9dex_number">the Pokémon National Pokédex</a>, I'm <a href="http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Bulbasaur_%28Pok%C3%A9mon%29">Bulbasaur</a>. It's okay, I envy me too, your jealousy is natural and understandable.<br />
<br />
(This also technically lines <a href="http://bloggingwinnipeg.wordpress.com/2014/02/14/winnipeg-cat/">Winnipeg Cat</a> up with <a href="http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Raichu_%28Pok%C3%A9mon%29">Raichu</a>, which may seem an odd couple at first, but heck, that'd be a fun adventure team-up. Imagine the fanart!)<br />
<br />
And, finally:<br />
<br />
[ <a href="http://festivalvoyageur.mb.ca/en/festival/schedule/">Festival du Voyageur: Schedule</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/local/Bell-of-Batoche-to-make-public-debut-Monday-245440841.html">Winnipeg Free Press: Bell of Batoche to appear in Winnipeg Monday</a> ]<br />
Happy Louis Riel Day Long Weekend, everyone! Festival du Voyageur is in full swing, and A Part Of Our Heritage is rolling through town for the holiday proper, so be sure to get out there and enjoy yourselves. (Weather's looking good, too!)<br />
<br />
Thank you for reading <a href="http://slurpeesandmurder.blogspot.ca/search/label/ManLinkWeek">ManLinkWeek</a>! I'm going to go roll onto the couch and sleep until hockey's on. Next week we'll catch up on Shindico -- everyone's favourite company, you'll recall -- as part of a whole new slate of topics, so be sure to check back then; until then, have a happy Louis Riel Day!<p>James Hope Howardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18143628957923923335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35424944.post-502471678351248892014-02-09T23:21:00.000-06:002014-02-11T19:48:35.590-06:00Manitoba Links Weekly: Hashtag Melnigeddon, Everyone Will Like Me Again If I Sue This Student Newspaper, Russ Wyatt is Sheegl-Shaming, and Here's a Stolen Skeleton Statue to Watch For (ManLinkWeek S02E16)<p><a href="http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10152190580467243"><img src="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/stolenmrbones20140208.jpg" title="[last known photograph] (Click for Source)"></a><br />
<br />
The Mr. Bones mascot skeleton statue has been kidnapped, and it is currently being held for ransom, and <a href="http://winnipeg.ctvnews.ca/mr-bones-pizza-owner-wants-stolen-statue-back-1.1678085">the ransom is a pizza</a>. Winnipeg is a live-action cartoon. [ <a href="http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10152190580467243">via</a> ]<br />
<br />
Hello and welcome to <a href="http://slurpeesandmurder.blogspot.ca/search/label/ManLinkWeek">Manitoba Links Weekly</a>! God, what a week. <br />
<br />
<a href="http://archives.winnipeginternetpundits.com/post/75747916709/february-5th-2014-the-versus-show-derick-and">This week on Winnipeg Internet Pundits</a> we began the task of chipping away at the wall of newsworthy topics this week; I also played a couple of thematically-appropriate tunes during the hour, and I'm interested to know whether you the listener think they helped or hindered the flow of the show, so let me know by email or in the comments below what you made of it.<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
As you've probably already noticed, I'd missed my self-imposed deadline for the end of last week; I had an... unstable sort of evening, last night, so my cat curled up onto my chest and purred to sort me out, and that is one's signal to settle in and hope the next day'll go more smoothly. So please accept my apologies for not having this post up yesterday, as I normally hope for; you know how determined I am to have the fifty-two posts in fifty-two weeks, a stubborn li'l personal quest, so I'll just have to get on the ball for this week and even it all out. <br />
<br />
I wouldn't've left you without something to read, of course! I <a href="http://slurpeesandmurder.blogspot.ca/2014/02/james-hope-howard-liveblogs-cbc-feed-of.html">liveblogged the Olympic Opening Ceremonies</a> the day before yesterday, if you'd happened to miss that, so check that out if fifteen pages of incredulous reactions to increasingly incomprehensible stimuli might be something you're into.<br />
<br />
Onward, to <a href="http://slurpeesandmurder.blogspot.ca/search/label/ManLinkWeek">ManLinkWeek</a>!<br />
<br />
[ <a href="http://globalnews.ca/news/1126009/ousted-minister-says-she-was-told-to-take-blame/">Global Winnipeg: Ousted minister says she was told to take blame</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/local/Im-very-very-disappointed--243478511.html">Winnipeg Free Press: 'I'm very, very disappointed'</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/manitoba/christine-melnick-removed-from-ndp-caucus-1.2522456">CBC Manitoba: Christine Melnick removed from NDP caucus</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegsun.com/2014/02/04/selinger-to-speak-on-melnicks-claims">Winnipeg Sun: Christine Melnick booted from NDP caucus</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://metronews.ca/news/winnipeg/930971/former-manitoba-cabinet-minister-christine-melnick-booted-out-of-caucus/">Metro Winnipeg: Former Manitoba cabinet minister Christine Melnick booted out of caucus</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/local/ndp-bids-goodbye-to-melnick-243637141.html">Winnipeg Free Press: NDP bids goodbye to Melnick</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://winnipegcat.blogspot.ca/2014/02/february-5th-2014.html">Winnipeg Cat: FEBRUARY 5th, 2014</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://winnipeg.ctvnews.ca/manitoba-ndp-holds-convention-amid-faltering-support-ousted-cabinet-minister-1.1675360">CTV Winnipeg: Manitoba NDP holds convention amid faltering support, ousted cabinet minister</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegsun.com/2014/02/07/manitoba-conservatives-open-up-25-point-lead-over-ndp-poll">Winnipeg Sun: Manitoba Conservatives open up 25-point lead over NDP: poll</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/local/melnick-decision-necessary-selinger-tells-faithful-244496981.html">Winnipeg Free Press: Melnick decision 'necessary,' Selinger tells faithful</a> ]<br />
This topic led off the most recent Winnipeg Internet Pundits, because how could it not; few influences are as destabilizing as a long-loyal soldier of a reigning government breaking ranks with the leader, especially as publicly and as dramatically as Melnick did to open the week. She hadn't given the order to mobilize provincial workers at an immigration rally, until it turned out she had; she couldn't recall it when asked, until it turned out she could; the Premier's advisors had no involvement or knowledge, until it turned out they did; the Premier was entirely truthful in claiming ignorance on the matter, until it turned out he wasn't. It was that kind of a week for the NDP, and it was only Monday at the time. <br />
<br />
The Premier's response was to gather a phalanx of faithful and put on some political theatre, roundly denouncing the rogue operative and publicly dismissing her from the party ranks just ahead of the NDP's 2014 convention. Melnick <a href="http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/manitoba/melnick-to-attend-ndp-convention-despite-battle-with-selinger-1.2524762?cmp=rss">announced she'd attend the NDP convention</a> on the Wednesday and then <a href="http://www.winnipegsun.com/2014/02/06/melnick-skipping-ndp-convention-it-might-cause-a-stir">announced she wouldn't attend the NDP convention</a> on the Thursday, which seems like the most perfectly Melnickian epilogue possible, in retrospect.<br />
<br />
We'll talk more about the convention and its outproduct in a later post, but for now just note and remember that -- as of the most recent polling -- the NDP are a full 25 points back of the Conservatives. The Tories are at 49% support to the NDP's 24%, and to the Liberals' 13%; even if one is inclined to argue that Liberal support between elections naturally returns to the governing NDP come voting time, that <i>still</i> leaves a minefield of danger signs for the NDP to wade through. With that established, now note and remember that this poll was conducted... <i>before</i> the Melnick defection broke. <br />
<br />
(As I've said before at various intervals: I can't wait to see how the PCs blow it <i>this</i> time.)<br />
<br />
And remember, too, out of all of this, that the whole sordid mess originated with that 2012 immigration rally -- a symbolic gesture of provincial pushback against perceived federal encroachment on the immigration file. The federal Conservatives wouldn't be the types to gloat about it, though, would they?<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p>Lost in this fiasco <a href="http://t.co/yO9SwGLpDj">http://t.co/yO9SwGLpDj</a> is fact that Manitobans were totally mislead about impact of our changes to settlement services.</p>— Jason Kenney (@kenneyjason) <a href="https://twitter.com/kenneyjason/statuses/430790216215838720">February 4, 2014</a></blockquote><script async src="//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script><br />
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p>Would be nice to hear the Manitoba govt acknowledge that the campaign of fear over our settlement changes was wrong: <a href="http://t.co/io5GV1pv4B">http://t.co/io5GV1pv4B</a></p>— Jason Kenney (@kenneyjason) <a href="https://twitter.com/kenneyjason/statuses/430790656580419584">February 4, 2014</a></blockquote><script async src="//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script><br />
...never mind. Silly question. <br />
<br />
Moving on!<br />
<br />
[ <a href="http://uniter.ca/view/the-local-political-blunder">The Uniter: Re: The Local Political Blunder</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/local/Katz-suing-The-Uniter-U-of-W-and-student-journalist-243350081.html">Winnipeg Free Press: Katz suing over Uniter article</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://news-centre.uwinnipeg.ca/all-posts/response-to-reports-of-legal-action-against-uwinnipeg/">The University of Winnipeg: Response to reports of legal action against UWinnipeg</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegsun.com/2014/02/03/mayor-katz-suing-student-newspaper-the-uniter-for-defamation">Winnipeg Sun: Mayor Katz suing student newspaper The Uniter for defamation</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=624042642592&set=p.624042642592&type=1">Tessa Vanderhart's Photos (Facebook): Here's the unedited version. (please no one sue me)</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://aroundthistown.ca/2014/02/03/is-the-mayor-a-bully/">Around This Town: Is the mayor a bully?</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://winnipegcat.blogspot.ca/2014/02/february-4th-2014.html">Winnipeg Cat: FEBRUARY 4th, 2014</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegsun.com/2014/02/05/katz-says-hes-just-defending-reputation-with-uniter-lawsuit">Winnipeg Sun: Katz says he’s just defending reputation with Uniter lawsuit</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/local/Katz-looking-for-apology-from-the-Uniter-243717171.html">Winnipeg Free Press: Katz looking for apology from the Uniter</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://metronews.ca/news/winnipeg/932424/no-choice-but-to-sue-uniter-newspaper-mayor-sam-katz/">Metro Winnipeg: No choice but to sue Uniter newspaper: Mayor Sam Katz</a> ]<br />
Somehow I don't think he thought his cunning plan all the way through.<br />
<br />
Let's just go ahead and get this out of the way, to start: you couldn't take <i>five minutes</i> out of your day to make sure you're suing the right people first? Shouldn't that pop up on the checklist somewhere before you go ahead and file the papers?<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p>This Guy Needs A Clue: A Member Of The 1% Sues A University By Mistake</p>— UpWinni (@UpWinni) <a href="https://twitter.com/UpWinni/statuses/430712590587551744">February 4, 2014</a></blockquote><script async src="//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script><br />
Now, I may not be a big-city lawyer, but this strikes me as being just a little bit counterproductive. Suing a student newspaper and a volunteer writer, for an already-forgotten opinion piece in an issue published the year before, is one thing; suing for defamation when your case is <a href="https://twitter.com/heyjturner/status/430473216599924736">shaky at best</a> is another thing; shoehorning a larger institution into the suit, to draw at least <i>some</i> sort of financial compensation, is yet another thing entirely. So if you are going to do <i>all three of those things</i>, none of which will prove particularly rehabilitative to the ol' reputation, you might want to at <i>least</i> make sure that you <i>don't sue the wrong institution</i>. <br />
<br />
The University of Winnipeg has like fifteen or twenty ribbon-cuttings a year, don't make every single one of them super awkward by demanding they pony up some dough for an erroneous lawsuit. That was the University of Winnipeg's wording, too, "<i>erroneous</i>". "<i>The inclusion of the University of Winnipeg is erroneous</i>". God, that's embarrassing, isn't it? I want to crawl under a couch and die just reading it, and I'm not even the one who filed. <br />
<br />
As surprising as I know this will sound, the move somehow did not improve Katz's personal popularity any. And the issue, I think, is one of scale. <br />
<br />
Far larger publications have allowed far more prominent writers to write far more damaging material about the Mayor, to his legal silence; you could build one heck of a battalion from the major dailies alone, but my go-to example remains <a href="http://www.jewishpostandnews.ca/local/889-katz-and-sheegl-should-resign">Bernie Bellan of the Jewish Post & News</a>.<br />
<br />
"[A]<i>s Jews, we should hold ourselves to a higher standard of behaviour – not only because we are so often stereotyped by others, but because so much of what it means to be a Jew is grounded in an ethical norm that has developed over thousands of years. While I don’t pretend to be observant, like most other students who attended Joseph Wolinsky Collegiate, I did study the Talmud - and am fully aware of the pivotal role that ethical behaviour plays in defining what it means to be a good Jew. <br />
(. . .)<br />
</i>[The fire hall scandal] <i>is causing a great deal of embarrassment to us, as Jews.</i>"<br />
<br />
A Jewish writer, on behalf of the Jewish people, called the Mayor out for bad political and ethical behaviour. Virtually every news outlet in town that you can <i>name</i> has called the Mayor out for bad political and ethical behaviour. <a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/opinion/columnists/politically-tone-deaf-mayor-clueless-on-ethics-matters-201737351.html">A <i>Justice of the Queen's Bench</i></a> called the Mayor out for bad political and ethical behaviour; in fact, I've used that phrase three times now because those were her <i>exact words</i>. (Imagine if this defamation case did indeed proceed to court, only to land on Brenda Keyser's desk.) Still the Mayor held his fire, through accusation and insult alike, until the smallest and weakest of possible targets presented itself -- a volunteer writer at a student newspaper, writing not dissimilar opinions to those expressed above, calling the Mayor out for bad political and ethical behaviour -- and <i>then</i> the Mayor made a very public show of aiming and firing the biggest cannon in a citizen's legal arsenal. <br />
<br />
It was not, as they like to say in the legal profession, "a good look". So let's take a moment to check the public pulse, see how well it seems to have gone over:<br />
<br />
<a href="http://twitter.com/pomoinc/status/431991067924103168/photo/1/large"><img src="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/suemesamkatz20140207.jpg" title="''SUE ME, SAM KATZ'' (Click for Source)"></a> [ <a href="http://twitter.com/pomoinc/status/431991067924103168">via</a> ]<br />
<br />
<a href="http://winnipeg.ctvnews.ca/sue-me-sam-katz-wall-display-dares-mayor-1.1677067">Wow</a>. Well. Well, then. Something tells me the Mayor isn't really winning the ol' hearts-and-minds battle here.<br />
<br />
But the article <i>has</i> been removed, after all of that, and there's still a chance yet that the original author could apologize after all. That's all that the Mayor wants -- all that he'd wanted all along, he declared the day after the University of Winnipeg excused themselves -- and if those are the benchmarks for victory, then victory is still within his grasp. Never mind what cost; a win's a win!<br />
<br />
And on the bright side (there's always a bright side!), at least he isn't blamed for the incompetence of entire city departments. No, that honour's reserved for someone else:<br />
<br />
[ <a href="http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/manitoba/disgraced-winnipeg-cao-blamed-for-plessis-construction-delays-1.2524474">CBC Manitoba: Disgraced Winnipeg CAO blamed for Plessis construction delays</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegsun.com/2014/02/05/wyatt-blasts-city-staff-for-plessis-road-construction-delays">Winnipeg Sun: Wyatt blasts city staff for Plessis Road construction delays</a> ]<br />
It is, one must admit in fairness, perhaps a tad intellectually lazy to lay such sweeping blame unilaterally on a single cause. And it is, one must admit in fairness, perhaps a tad convenient to rail so specifically against an already widely-unpopular scapegoat. (Particularly one who considered his options and decided against sticking around long enough to defend himself.) But y'know what? I will let it slide this time, because I thought it was funny. <br />
<br />
Here's to legacies!<br />
<br />
[ <a href="http://globalnews.ca/news/1133914/skyline-for-sale-winnipegs-tallest-tower-is-on-the-market/">Global Winnipeg: Skyline for sale: Winnipeg's tallest tower is on the market</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegsun.com/2014/02/06/citys-largest-office-tower-for-sale">Winnipeg Sun: City's largest office tower for sale?</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/local/want-to-buy-a-skyscraper-244496811.html">Winnipeg Free Press: Want to buy a skyscraper?</a> ]<br />
The Canwest legacy, alas, continues to scatter to the winds. But if you've been thinking to yourself how nice it'd be to own a 32-storey tower one of these days, boy, have I got a good-news story for you!<br />
<br />
[ <a href="http://lorenmarch.wordpress.com/2014/02/05/why-you-should-live-in-the-murder-capital-of-canada/">LOREN MARCH: WHY YOU SHOULD LIVE IN THE MURDER CAPITAL OF CANADA</a> ]<br />
There are a few places throughout this piece that a more critical reader could aim to poke holes -- the comparisons of rents and property values fails to consider the comparisons of incomes and taxation levels, f'rinstance -- but the article opens by characterizing our fair town as "<i>Canada's little trashy diamond in the rough</i>", and I'm honestly so smitten with that description that I'd gladly float it through on that alone.<br />
<br />
In sporting news:<br />
<br />
[ <a href="http://www.tsn.ca/cfl/story/?id=443151">TSN.ca: Blue Bombers send WR Etienne to Roughriders for QB Willy</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegsun.com/2014/02/06/bombers-drew-it-up-right">Winnipeg Sun: Bombers Drew it up right</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.ctvnews.ca/sports/drew-willy-will-be-starting-quarterback-for-blue-bombers-coach-says-1.1676461">CTV News: Drew Willy will be starting quarterback for Blue Bombers, coach says</a> ]<br />
Good news, everyone -- the Bombers have a quarterback! The Roughriders' backup QB is very likely an immediate improvement over the ongoing tire-fire of the Bombers' past few seasons; the important work now will be in improving the team's offensive line, which has been commonly fingered as the reason the Bombers have become the quarterback meat-grinder that they are.<br />
<br />
Most importantly of all, though: his name is the past participle of "draw penis", and if you can't appreciate that on at least <i>some</i> level, you and I got nothin' to say to each other.<br />
<br />
And, finally:<br />
<br />
[ <a href="http://www.witchpolice.com/2014/02/witchpolice-radio-episode-60-birdie.html">WITCHPOLICE.com: Witchpolice Radio episode #60: "Birdie!"</a> ]<br />
Time for a little brand synergy! The good folks at <a href="http://www.witchpolice.com/">Witchpolice</a> -- who nabbed top-three finishes in both the Blog and Podcast categories this past <a href="http://uniter.ca/series/uniter-30-2013">Uniter 30</a> -- had me in alongside Aaron "The Invisible Man" Young for an all-UMFM spectacular episode, now available at the link above for your listening pleasure.<br />
<br />
Note the liquid being poured in the cover photo; that is a fine homemade wine, and it may prove handy to keep that particular piece of information in mind throughout the show. And what a show it is! An hour and forty-five minutes of excellent music and vigorous discussion across a wide variety of fascinating topics. <br />
<br />
There are also Sizzla impressions.<br />
<br />
I won't spoil too much else of the experience, but for the sake of pre-listening context -- and so you'll better understand my obvious excitement to discuss it -- here is the televised sporting content mentioned during the show that would later give the episode its title:<br />
<br />
<iframe width="480" height="360" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/ULP0cbGXU8k" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br />
<br />
BIRRRRRRRRRRRR-<i>DAY</i><br />
<br />
CAR-MON-<i>I~</i><br />
<br />
Witchpolice Radio episode #60, it's awesome, I'm in it, go listen to it. There, that's the takeaway for that segment.<br />
<br />
Thank you once again for reading <a href="http://slurpeesandmurder.blogspot.ca/search/label/ManLinkWeek">ManLinkWeek</a>! Man, this <i>was</i> a heck of a week; there're a bunch of things I've found myself setting aside for space constraints -- spoiler alert, more than one topic involves authorities overreacting to people who haven't actually done anything wrong -- so I guess you'll just have to check back at the end of the week and catch up on 'em. The very idea!<p>James Hope Howardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18143628957923923335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35424944.post-54490554484986866822014-02-07T09:50:00.000-06:002014-02-13T01:50:58.374-06:00James Hope Howard Liveblogs the CBC Feed of the Sochi 2014 Winter Olympics Opening Ceremonies<p><b>9:50 AM</b><br />
<br />
Hello out there, sports fans!<br />
<br />
I'd done this for the <a href="http://slurpeesandmurder.blogspot.ca/2010/02/james-howard-tape-delay-liveblogs-2010.html">2010 Olympics' opening ceremonies</a> (and for their <a href="http://slurpeesandmurder.blogspot.ca/2010/02/james-hope-howard-liveblogs-2010-winter.html">closing ceremonies</a> as well), and while the Sochi Olympics are a tad more... <i>problematic</i>, I figure I may as well keep an eye on the ol' zeitgeist and see what happens.<br />
<br />
The hosts for this CBC coverage are Peter Mansbridge and Ron MacLean, who are doing their best to fill time until the ceremony proper; interviews with various CBC personalities, footage of a Russian police choir singing Daft Punk's "Get Lucky", y'know, standard fare to build up to the top of the hour.<br />
<br />
<b>10:00 AM</b><br />
<br />
There will come a time when "Fish Stadium" ceases to be funny to me, but today is not that day.<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
We're live with Ron and Peter -- can we just make Ron 'n' Peter a thing, all the time? -- and Vladimir Putin is mentioned within the first minute of the coverage, to give you some idea of the Games' general storyline.<br />
<br />
The ceremony actually won't start until about a quarter past, with what turns out to be a perfectly reasonable explanation: it's 8:00 PM Sochi time right now, or 20:00, so the organizers figured they'd start the show at 20:14. And sure, that's cute <i>now</i>, but if this sets a precedent the show'll just seem later and later every four years.<br />
<br />
"Life is short, art is long. We'll break bread with the Russians' ancestors in the Opening Ceremonies, coming up." So no wordplay out of Ron yet, but the day is young yet. D'you suppose there are people out there laying wagers on how many minutes into the show Ron'll crack a pun? What am I saying, it's Russia, of course someone bet on it.<br />
<br />
This commercial break leading up to the ceremony just busted out a Tourism Manitoba commercial -- the Manitoba's Heart (obligatory pause) Beats campaign, you remember it -- and boy, it was, uh... nondescript. I mean, I'm not the market, though, so what do <i>I</i> know. At least they're airing them when they count! <br />
<br />
<b>10:13 AM</b><br />
<br />
We have footage of the Canadian team being led in, then a wide shot of what one presumes is the inside of the stadium, just darkness and a few strings of lights and folks cheering on command.<br />
<br />
"This is Lubov (sp?), our hero girl --" we're into a video now of a little girl sleeping by a window and a book opens, which starts firing Cyrillic letters at the viewer; each letter corresponds to some important Russian historical or cultural icon, Mansbridge having to provide as much context for each as he can fit in while the little girl walks through this soft-focus CGI dreamscape montage alternating between Skyrim scenery and decongestant ads and what is happening and <i>what is happening</i>--<br />
<br />
FIREWORKS<br />
<br />
so now amidst the planetarium music, a small child is whispering a countdown as the numbers are superimposed over the crowd in lights, not creepy at all thank y--AHH CLOSE SHOT OF LITTLE GIRL STARING DIRECTLY INTO CAMERA PAN OUT PAN OUT<br />
<br />
<b>10:21 AM</b><br />
<br />
Okay, panning out makes it all very much less The Shining, thank you for that. Lubov raises a kite, which promptly carries her off over a sea and past a moon; a treed island with a live horse on it(!) and a volcano float along the floor of the stadium, amidst some dry ice, as our white-dressed child protagonist is suspended from the rafters by the kite. <br />
<br />
I'm sober right now, by the way. Olympic Ceremonies just have this effect on people.<br />
<br />
More scenery floats in along the 'sky', large round stars illuminating the continued parade below of simulated Russian scenery -- including a TINY ANIMATRONIC WOLF, thus far my favourite character in the piece. Ron and Peter are trying their best to demystify the sights, bless their hearts, but what is this I don't even.<br />
<br />
Then about two hundred people dressed like the clerics in Final Fantasy Tactics walk out and begin belting out a choir, the giant snowflakes -- five of them now, I've just now noticed -- and the giant snowflakes unfold to reveal... four of the five Olympic rings, because the fifth didn't open. "Little ring malfunction, there." Oh, dear. Someone in Russia is sure to be killed for that.<br />
<br />
<b>10:25 AM</b><br />
<br />
Everyone applauds for a wide shot of the dignitary booth, and then -- if there's one thing Russians are <i>super</i> god damn good at, it is making their anthem sound impressive, so out comes a full men's choir (in standard black suits, a surprisingly restrained touch for an Olympic Opening Ceremony) to belt the anthem out the way it and all anthems deserve to be belted.<br />
<br />
We get a shot of Putin in the stands, looking as unimpressed and as Putin as ever. He is plotting a death, surely, as he is doubtlessly almost <i>always</i> plotting a death, but this is one of the rare times we can be almost certain who he's planning it for.<br />
<br />
Hundreds of Russians dressed in light-up Weeble-Wobble costumes -- luminescent, dumpy beacons of white, blue and red -- are marched onto the floor to arrange themselves into the Russian flag. Similarly themed beams of light cross over the centre stage, looking very much like rocket popsicles (you were thinking it too), and finally the giant flag of the host country is raised.<br />
<br />
Ron MacLean: "Any time we heard that anthem, we were guaranteed a great hockey game. The logo didn't make it, but the anthem still has a nice <i>ring</i> to it." AAAAAND TIME, WHO HAD TWENTY-NINE MINUTES IN THE RON MACLEAN PUN POOL<br />
<br />
<b>10:30 AM</b><br />
<br />
Man, these are long commercial breaks. Olympic-sized breaks! Have to get used to these again.<br />
<br />
Back from break, a lava-lookin' light-up map of the world spreads across the stadium floor, then opens up(!) to reveal a white ramp and begin the athlete parade. So they'll just parade 'em up through the floor from the basement this year, it seems.<br />
<br />
As always, we get Greece first and then the rest of the nations in alphabetical order before closing with the host; nothing particularly exciting in the As yet, though the production crew seems to make a point of cutting to each nation's head of state as well thus far.<br />
<br />
Azerbaijan has a population of 9.5 million, sent four athletes, and won zero medals last time. Albania has a population of 3 million, sent two athletes, and won zero medals last time. Andorra has a population of 80,000 (!), sent two athletes, and won zero medals last time. This is always my favourite part of Olympic ceremonies, by the way, I'm endlessly fascinated by the tiny little longshot countries. (Though, as I've noted before, it's way more fun in the Summer Olympics because you get <i>every</i>body showing up.) And I'm a <i>huge</i> sucker for flags.<br />
<br />
Peter notes around this time that all cellphone communications in the stadium have been cut, so I guess the spy teams needed time to stop and catch up on everyone. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯<br />
<br />
<b>10:38 AM</b><br />
<br />
AW YISS BELARUS, SEMI-FINAL AGAINST CANADA NEVER FORGET<br />
<br />
We get our first mention of the gay-rights movements and Russian anti-gay laws as Belgium arrives, as Belgium has an openly-gay Prime Minister (!) who is not in attendance for what are likely very understandable reasons.<br />
<br />
Bermuda has a population of 60,000 people and sent one athlete, who is also their flag-bearer by default. I believe in you, Bermudan! You can do it, you can win whichever sport you're in.<br />
<br />
There are some really awkward geopolitical moments when certain countries arrive, and given Russia's influence both historical and current, that is not a small list of certain countries. "<i>Bosnia-Herzegovina!</i>" <i>(really hesitant cheering)</i><br />
<br />
<b>10:43 AM</b><br />
<br />
"<i>Hungary!</i>" <i>(really hesitant cheering)</i><br />
<br />
Venezuela, population 28 million, has sent one athlete; he is by default the flag-bearer, and he is SUPER STOKED. Dude is jumping up and down and toting it like a halberd and everyone is cheering because they are really happy for him. d'aww <3
Germany gets a surprisingly loud cheer, perhaps driven by their conspicuously-rainbow outfits; their organizers' <i>official</i> position is that it isn't necessarily in support of gay rights, because they're not allowed to just come out and <i>say</i> "man Russia the fuck's wrong with you", so the outfits will have to do for now. They also happen to look like Astro Pops, defiant against their Rocket-Popsicle surroundings.<br />
<br />
Zimbabwe has a population of 13.1 million and is represented at the Olympics for the very first time, by one athlete, who is also an <i>incredibly</i> white guy. Huh! Whaddya know.<br />
<br />
The Ireland athletes are dressed like paratroopers and I have no idea what that's about.<br />
<br />
<b>10:50 AM</b><br />
<br />
<i>Oh</i> my god everyone from Spain is dressed like a travel agent, with a red blazer and a white shirt and a red tie and I can't even, you guys. Travel agents <i>in berets</i>, though, because nothing makes an outfit less silly like adding a beret to it. <br />
<br />
Kazakhstan's team is dressed in blue and yellow jackets, save for their flag bearer, who got to wear a full old-timey Cossack outfit INCLUDING the fuzzy little hat. He looks like a Civilization unit, and I love him for it.<br />
<br />
Canada arrives, now, to a reasonable cheer -- remember that we're going in <i>Cyrillic</i> alphabetical order -- decked out in red kinda-voyageur coats and those little hats and mitts that everyone you know seem to go nuts for. (F'real, was I the only person not obsessed with the mittens last time around? What was <i>with</i> that?)<br />
<br />
OH MAN THE SINGLE KYRGYSTANIAN'S HAT LOOKS LIKE A FLOWER VASE<br />
<br />
okay we get it the Canadians are still walking, okay listen I know we like them and all but do we have to watch them sitting down, can we just -- oh for god's sakes <br />
<br />
The Latvian Olympic Team is wearing deep-orange jackets and deep-brown pants, and they all look like human Reese's Pieces, and I approve of this choice wholeheartedly. Ron MacLean helpfully chimes in that their hockey team is being coached by the Buffalo Sabres' Ted Nolan, because I guess they needed somebody who can <i>emphatically</i> land them at the bottom of the standings.<br />
<br />
Commercial break! (Looooong commercial break. The Olympics!)<br />
<br />
<b>11:00 AM</b><br />
<br />
We're back in the Ms somewhere, Mexico arriving as we return from break, and the music is getting Eurotrashier the longer the ceremony goes on. I approve, of course.<br />
<br />
I'm surprised I've made it this far without mentioning the women sent to lead each contingent out, so: remember the android from Metropolis? The original German film, not the Japanese anime reimagining decades later. They're all dressed like that, if the android were white, and also if the android had those floaty wide-bar Evangelion circles around it. I am <i>dead</i> serious, they are ringed in with plastic circles that they have to hold up as they walk. Track down a picture, it's mad goofy.<br />
<br />
Peter Mansbridge listening to Ron MacLean tout Norway's credentials as a winter-sports power and then slyly trolling him with "<i>yeah, but they can't play hockey</i>" is some next-level impishness. I want more playful Peter Mansbridge in my life, I think we as a nation would benefit from this.<br />
<br />
We get a picture-in-picture with Hayley Wickenheiser -- you don't know how disproportionately pleased with myself I am for spelling that correctly on the first try -- for some thoughts on flagbearing, while the main screen features the bright-lime-green Slovenians entering. <br />
<br />
I know you've already heard about and seen this, so I won't go on for too long about it, but <i>holy shit those Team USA outfits</i>. It looks like a bunch of horse-racing jockeys rolled around in those glow-in-the-dark star sheets kids used to ruin the paint in their rooms with, and then slapped giant butcher-counter stickers on their shoulders. My <i>goodness</i>. Oh dear. Oh my.<br />
<br />
<b>11:15 AM</b><br />
<br />
Ron & Peter take a moment to send a welcome to the Canadian Forces TV audience, and -- and Uzbekistan's flagbearer is <i>really</i> cute. Lost my train of thought for a second, there. Hang on.<br />
<br />
Ukraine is wearing... what appears at first to be camouflage, but upon zooming in it appears more to be some sort of grey-yellow microbiology printout. Actually quite mesmerizing.<br />
<br />
Finland is wearing the exact blue and white you'd expect, <i>except</i> for the scarves, which have this super-neat orange streak added to them. Peter and Ron take this opportunity to talk about Teemu Selanne, because <i>obviously</i>. I would too! You would too.<br />
<br />
We're starting to get into that weird all-the-colours-were-taken territory where France comes out in grey (what) and Croatia comes out in black and white (whaaaat), but thankfully Montenegro puts a stop to that with some very appropriate red.<br />
<br />
Everyone on the Czech team -- scratch that, almost everyone, some dudes didn't play along -- have their flags painted on their cheekbones, which is pretty darn cute. Switzerland's flagbearer is a handsome fellow in red Lisa Loeb glasses and I am having very confusing feelings.<br />
<br />
<b>11:20 AM</b><br />
<br />
THE CROWD GOES WILD FOR JAMAICA<br />
<br />
Japan is the penultimate nation, wearing a very reserved white-on-black set, and then the crowd comes to life as the Russians enter. All of the dignitaries stand up and applaud in time, on-beat, to the music being played. Everyone on the Russian team is dressed in a big furry Santa Claus coat, and you probably think I'm joking about that, but noooooooope. Some of 'em are blue Santa Claus coats, and some of 'em are white Santa Claus coats, but a whole bunch of 'em are <i>red</i> Santa Claus coats and -- whoop, hold on, now following them are just a bunch of dudes in dark-blue doorman coats, presumably also athletes but you never can tell. Ron & Peter note that the athletes are receiving a noticeably better crowd reaction than the President did, because Ron & Peter are subtle shit-disturbers.<br />
<br />
Is this t.A.T.u they're playing for the Russians' entrance? What <i>is</i> this? ...What <i>IS</i> this?<br />
<br />
Everyone in the dignitary booth stands and applauds in time, and everyone in the crowd stands and applauds in time, and it all just kind of lingers weirdly for a while until we fire to break.<br />
<br />
<b>11:30 AM</b><br />
<br />
ANIMATRONIC MASCOTS THE SIZE OF BUILDINGS<br />
<br />
THEY ARE SKATING AROUND THE RINK WHILE MUSIC THAT SOUNDS LIKE SUPER MARIO WORLD IS PLAYING<br />
<br />
JESUS THEIR EYES ARE HORRIFYING<br />
<br />
The giant rabbit, bear and leopard (the leopard was Putin's idea, and no, I'm not kidding) leap without transition into a Civilization V CGI opening, with triremes reaching land and some settlers and workers leaping out to cut trees and -- no, wait, now everyone's wearing grey and they're in the fields and they pull up an entire electrical grid out of the snow because that's how electrical grids work and -- WHY ARE THERE DUDES IN FRENCH RENAISSANCE WIGS -- NOW WE'RE IN WHAT APPEARS TO BE BRITAIN, WHY ARE WE IN -- okay, I think I've fully and completely lost the thread now. Anyway, it all builds to a wide shot of stadium we're currently in now, and it transitions from the video shot to the live shot.<br />
<br />
Would you like an ethereal flying two-dimensional Troika made of Christmas lights, pulling what appears to be a giant red blood cell? Well, here you go, then. This is definitely a thing that is happening. The symphony is playing disjointed horn noises while this happens, apparently representing a storm, so... well. So.<br />
<br />
"We're about to witness a giant whale through the stadium, formed by inflatable shapes." Peter was not kidding about this; a series of inflatable buildings, which we're told represent feudalism, bob along in what <i>does</i> sort of appear whale-shaped from the high camera. <br />
<br />
The whale of buildings stops at centre stage and the red blood cell floats into the space above them. Our little girl hero from earlier walks to the front, and a troupe of mustard-yellow clowns float a giant snowglobe over to her. Drums start pounding, the nightmare parade from Paprika swarms the stage, the ambient lighting turns purple and yellow and everything turns to madness.<br />
<br />
<b>11:40 AM</b><br />
<br />
A bunch of dudes in yellow-green shirts and puffy yellow Hammer pants begin lifting Lubov upwards; the inflatable whale-buildings take off into the sky and float around, arranging themselves into what I can only best describe as the title screen from NES Tetris. <br />
<br />
COMMERCIAL BREAK (a shorter one, mercifully)<br />
<br />
Peter Mansbridge reads Prime Minister Steven Harper's tweets live on-air, because that's the world we live in these days, and now we get what is actually a <i>super</i>-cool raging greyscale sea superimposed over the floor. Actors representing Peter The Great and his crew march along as a cel-shaded ship follows along the floor below them, and I seriously cannot exaggerate how impressive this looks, especially with the 3D effect of rolling it up like parchment to close.<br />
<br />
Two or three hundred men in fancy lilac-purple suits march onstage to lively military music and play air-flute, as one does, while the still-pretty-cool black-and-grey 3D-esque projections form maps and military layouts around them. This does not get nearly the applause it deserves. Now the men stand still and a cloud of women in pastel ballet dresses fills up the space, Ron explaining that the next segment is a tribute to Tolstoy's War & Peace. This also requires Ron to quickly summarize the plot of War & Peace to the audience, at least in the sense that one <i>can</i>. Y'know how it is.<br />
<br />
Quite refreshingly, this is just presented and filmed as a conventional ballet production, no flying lightshows or inflatable whatevers taking the attention away from the artistic performance. I can appreciate this! I turned on the big dumb Olympic Ceremonies and actual culture broke out.<br />
<br />
<b>11:50 AM</b><br />
<br />
Seizure warning! Representing the internal turmoil of the characters, we get a giant snowstorm scene with all of the background dancers shuffling in place and strobelights flickering across the stadium as the string section goes full Bernard Herrmann on us. This is all legitimately impressive, and I'm sort of sad now that Canada's ceremonies were a jumble of Michael Buble pop and giant inflatable moose.<br />
<br />
Nothing lasts forever, alas, so the massive ballet eventually does give way to more crazy flying shit -- a giant sky train, symbolizing the Industrial Revolution and the rise of the Bolsheviks, as geometric shapes and loose interpretations of machinery roll out along the floor below. Remember the toy montage from How The Grinch Stole Christmas? It's like that, but sinister. Dudes walking around inside giant gears and shit, the orchestra playing a constant chugging beat, dancers standing in place and doing a combination of The Robot and The Monkey as rectangular platforms wheel 'em around.<br />
<br />
This goes on for a very long time.<br />
<br />
<b>12:00 PM</b><br />
<br />
This goes on for a <i>very</i> long time. Long enough that I start thinking about how weird <i>any</i> celebration of Russian history always feels, but particularly those eras which left a whole ton of people dead that really didn't need to die.<br />
<br />
The industrial segment finally concludes with a flood of white light, then a fade almost entirely to black. "Welcome to the mid-20th century, hope and progress permeate the Soviet Union," Ron narrates, clearly having to pull this off of the event's provided script, because nobody looks back to that time on their <i>own</i> like "oh yeah, man, Russians really loved the shit out of life in those days."<br />
<br />
This segment is all very impressive, and also all very silly; Papers, Please newspaper clippings are superimposed over white-clad crowds of astronauts and pedestrians as disembodied heads and sickles float around in the sky. A pack of brightly-coloured Mod types run into the middle of a car-packed street and have a dance party, as Russians did in those days.<br />
<br />
The modernist music finally slows down to more traditional Red Army Choir fare -- "Moscow Nights", we're informed -- as the crowd pairs off and begins a wedding-themed dance number. The mass marriage then leads into a bunch of sailors carrying bright red baby carriages, the whole thing is a very weird celebration of rigid heterosexuality (you were thinking it too), and Lubov finally reappears to walk on a floating blue ball which represents modern Moscow or dude I don't even know at this point. <br />
<br />
That's how it ends, The Shining girl running on a Peter Gabriel album title, everyone claps and the feed skedaddles off to more McDonalds commercials.<br />
<br />
<b>12:10 PM</b><br />
<br />
The ice-podium from earler has made its return, the one they raised the giant Russian flag on, and a lectern has been set up for the Russian Olympic organizer to make a speech about nothing in particular. Pride of the nation, sacrifices of athletes, that general boilerplate stuff; the language may be different, but man, you've heard this exact speech before a great many times in your life.<br />
<br />
His speech moves into some brief statements in accented but perfectly acceptable English, then into French, then into what I <i>think</i> is Italian--well, a carousel of languages, really, before finally closing in Russian with the event's catchphrase. "The Games are hot, cool, yours" or however the actual wording goes, remind me to look that up later. (Ha, no, I'm kidding. Remind me to be anywhere near a television in the next two weeks, they'll bring it up on their own.)<br />
<br />
Onward now to Thomas Bach, IOC President and apparently 1976 fencing champion, who also delivers a standard but unremarkable speech across a variety of languages. I'll be honest: this isn't really the portion of the show you'll see in the highlights and news reels later. (Though the IOC President announcing "Thanks to the workers!" takes on a certain extra absurdity, given the circumstances.)<br />
<br />
<b>12:20 PM</b><br />
<br />
okay, Bell's still talking<br />
<br />
goin' on about athletes and inspiration and <br />
<br />
<b>12:23 PM</b><br />
<br />
still Bell, still talking about striving for victory and the dignity of competitors and<br />
<br />
<b>12:25 PM</b><br />
<br />
Bell, we only have fourteen days, d'you wanna maybe wrap this up or<br />
<br />
Okay, it gets a little more interesting here: he begins offering a broad and not-at-all-targeted-at-the-host message of tolerance and diversity, about the Olympics serving to pull the world together rather than build walls to keep them apart, walking a very careful balance as he does between not offending the Russians but also acknowledging the less-than-thrilled world response.<br />
<br />
Bell throws it to President Putin -- who receives the, er, politically necessary response -- who declares the Games officially open, punctuated by fireworks. <br />
<br />
This leads us to more ballet! I'm actually sort of surprised at how excited I am now for the ballet segments. They're performing Tchaikovsky's Swan Lake, and because it's the Olympics all of the performers are wearing a weird light-up jellyfish collar that unfolds as they spin around, but hey, I'll take this over most things.<br />
<br />
<b>12:30 PM</b><br />
<br />
"Ladies and gentlemen -- the Olympic Flag!" <br />
<br />
The lighting crew superimpose a curved white path across the now-purple stage floor and eight Russian luminaries, all of them decked out in classy but marshmallow-coloured outfits, carry the giant flag towards the podium. They carry it very slowly.<br />
<br />
The Olympic Hymn is heralded, with Peter repeating organizers' promises from the day before that "you will not forget this moment". That feels sort of like a threat, but sure, I'm game.<br />
<br />
A very talented and also deeply-orange woman wearing an exact(EXACT)-lookin' replication of the iconic blue Disney Cinderella gown leads the singing of the Hymn, backed from the second verse onward by a full men's choir in white suits. You can barely walk around Russia without trippin' over a full men's choir, it seems like. Just a whole bunch of them all over the place. I don't know how <i>unforgettable</i> any of this is, per se, but hey, that was as good an Olympic Anthem as any I've heard.<br />
<br />
<b>12:40 PM</b><br />
<br />
Ruslan Zakharov is up to take the Olympic Oath On Behalf Of All Athletes, and he just <i>plows</i> through it, to the point that the translator actually has to abandon the first paragraph entirely ("Ladies and g--") to keep up with him. A man wearing a coat that looks like a box of fancy crackers takes the Oath On Behalf Of All Judges, at a rather more manageable tempo than the fellow before him, and a woman wearing what is clearly a Ric Flair robe completes the trifecta with The Oath On Behalf Of All Coaches.<br />
<br />
Then a few hundred speed-skaters in white LED suits skate onto the ice to a bunch of computer noises, because reasons. Representing the future? Oh, representing the <i>galaxy</i>, Peter informs us, I see. <br />
<br />
"You will hear a remix of 'The Game Has Changed' by Daft Punk," Peter continues, because we finally live in a world where Daft Punk is <i>everywhere</i> everywhere. (There are worse alternatives!) He also promises that the light-figures will eventually arrange themselves into a giant hockey player, who will shoot a puck that heralds the arrival of the Olympic Flame. This all proves to unfold exactly as he'd described, and yet even stranger than that description suggests.<br />
<br />
The sky above the crowd lights up with floating 3D specters of the various athlete archetypes, floating amidst the black and dark-blue backdrop of the galaxy; I'm sure it's probably incredibly captivating in person, but watching it from home it just looks like a mid-2000s screensaver. <br />
<br />
Wow, okay, Mansbridge hadn't <i>quite</i> captured the hockey player's role; his 'firing of the puck' is <i>actual gusts of flame</i>, streaking above the ice just prior to the runner and the torch arriving in the arena. Maria Sharapova is the initial carrier, which seems as sound a choice as any, and she kicks off the parade of handing it around to various other celebrated Russian athletic figures. Including Alexander Karelin! Oh, hey! That name probably means a lot less to you if you aren't as huge a Fire Pro Wrestling series fan as I am, but trust me, dude was kind of a big deal once.<br />
<br />
A couple of older folks cheerfully jog down that final corridor, which is still a bit more dignified than Gretzky on a flatbed (in fairness), and Ron MacLean cracks some joke I missed about beach balls that gets a wry chuckling fit out of Peter Mansbridge. Seriously, dead seriousness, please just pair these two up for every major event and have 'em spend hours just trying to get each other to crack up. I would pay the CBC money for this, and they need to get funding from <i>some</i>where. <br />
<br />
They're still jogging the very long way to the torch -- "he's looking like he wishes it were a little closer", Ron ad-libs, legit cracking Peter up -- and the initial torchpoint is lit, which triggers a line of fire geysers along the structure and a big ol' fireworks display once it reaches the top. That part was pretty fun! I like to imagine the fun that engineers have with this kind of thing.<br />
<br />
"And game on!" Peter proclaims, a minute or so more of explosions and classical music playing us out to break.<br />
<br />
<b>1:00 PM</b><br />
<br />
We come back to an interview inside the stadium with bobsledder Kaillie Humphries, who testifies that the whole thing was very impressive live ("the ballet was my favourite part!") and then fields some questions about her next few days, which apparently athletes do their best to treat like the leadup into any other event. The CBC then pops her down into a picture-in-picture and uses the primary screen space to replay the Canadian team's walk-in, <i>even while I can hear fireworks in the background</i>, so I'm a little grouchy about that. WHO SKIPS AN EXPLOSION, COME ON<br />
<br />
"We'll continue our coverage of the 22nd Olympic Winter Games Opening Ceremonies--" Well, at this point I'm honestly not sure what else's left to it (especially if they're throwing it back to commercials again <i>already</i>, c'mon mang), but I'll give it one more segment. What the heck, I got nowhere to be, right?<br />
<br />
<b>1:05 PM</b><br />
<br />
Okay, that commercial break <i>has</i> to have been as long as the actual segment preceding it.<br />
<br />
We return from the ads with some pictures that Olympians have been tweeting, which tells me I shouldn't really expect much else from this, and a replay of the torch being lit, which <i>really</i> tells me I shouldn't exp--"Still more to come, from Sochi. We'll be back in just a moment." WHAT<br />
<br />
(Ad break)<br />
<br />
<i>WHAT</i><br />
<br />
WAS THAT THE WHOLE SEGMENT<br />
<br />
<b>1:10 PM</b><br />
<br />
Several minutes of commercials later, we come back to Ron MacLean advertising tonight's rebroadcast of the Opening Ceremonies -- once was enough for me, I think, but thanks Ron -- and the times for the first few events coming up.<br />
<br />
So Ron and Peter appear on-camera to wrap, and holy shit, we get some surprisingly brutal honesty from Peter in the wrapup. Let me rewind this for a second, I want to make sure I get this well and properly transcribed.<br />
<br />
Exact quote:<br />
<br />
"It was a good start. There was, ahhhh, y'know, a lot of very nice moments to watch there -- there <i>were</i> some hiccups. A few things didn't go right, the five Olympic rings, we only got four of them -- the seats weren't all full... the crowd was <i>less</i> than enthusiastic." (MacLean: "Yeah.") "Y'know, they didn't sort of punch it out there. And there were a few skips in the history -- no mention of the Stalin years, no mention of the World Wars... but nevertheless, after all that, they got through the evening without any major hitches. And it's Game On now, and a great moment with Tretiak."<br />
<br />
Ho, damn. That is admirably diplomatic phrasing, without sacrificing honesty or balance, and I love every bit of it. (I mean, obviously, because I just rewound it a bunch of times to make sure I had it right.) <br />
<br />
A quick video package of the highlights follows, to what Ron informs me is Fefe Dobson, and that concludes that.<br />
<br />
That was certainly a thing! That was, well, that was definitely something. Olympic ceremonies, man, there's nothing else quite like 'em. Onward to <strike>basically just hockey</strike> the Games!<p>James Hope Howardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18143628957923923335noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35424944.post-29687040427891475112014-02-01T23:38:00.000-06:002014-02-02T07:12:03.744-06:00Manitoba Links Weekly: The Province is Cutting CFS Funding Alongside the Phoenix Sinclair Report, and You'll Probably Need a Drink After Reading About It (ManLinkWeek S02E15)<p>Hello and welcome to <a href="http://slurpeesandmurder.blogspot.ca/search/label/ManLinkWeek">Manitoba Links Weekly</a>!<br />
<br />
It's been another big week, hasn't it? Another busy ol' week. Let me fill you in briefly on what I've been up to! When last we left off I was headed to the final Mondragon Party, set on braving the crowds --<br />
<br />
<img src="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/mondragoncrowd20140126.jpg" title="oh, hello there, everyone"><br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
-- to spend some contemplative, investigative time with one or two of the last remaining batch of tofu sandwiches.<br />
<br />
<img src="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/mondragonfinaltofusammiches20140126.jpg" title="no, YOU took a southern-fried tofu sandwich apart and took tiny meticulous bites to try and discern how to attempt making it at home sometime in the future"><br />
<br />
There were musical acts throughout the evening, and parties throughout the A-Zone; it was all a very nice sendoff for the beloved long-running Exchange institution, aside from that part about the police touring the place. <br />
<br />
<img src="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/mondragonhelloofficers20140126.jpg" title="Part of the role is mean-muggin' for cameras, it comes with the territory."><br />
<br />
But that is a story for another time.<br />
<br />
Another chunk of excitement for me this week: I was invited to appear as a <a href="http://m-blog.ca/speakers.php">panelist speaker</a> for the opening evening of the <a href="http://m-blog.ca/index.php">MBlog 2014</a> convention, an opportunity I was quite obviously thrilled to accept. <br />
<br />
<a href="http://twitter.com/kentonlarsen/status/429439047446974465/photo/1/large"><img src="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/mblogfridaypanel20140131.jpg" title="sit down, (drank), stand up, (drank), questions, (drank), answers, (drank) [Click for Source]"></a><br />
<br />
You'll note that we all have big ol' glasses of wine in that photograph (and in <a href="http://twitter.com/WECManitoba/status/429405124511805440/photo/1/large">this photograph</a>), a surefire way to get the most interesting and honest possible answers from a panel. It went really well! Quite the zoological assortment in that picture, too: a <a href="http://www.sadieshihtzu.com/">dog</a>, a <a href="http://winnipegcat.blogspot.ca/">cat</a>, a <a href="http://policyfrog.wordpress.com/">frog</a>, and an <a href="http://alysonshane.com/blog/">Alyson</a>. So bases, consider yourselves <i>covered</i>.<br />
<br />
(A side personal note: you're wondering about the hair, aren't you? You may be wondering about the hair. Yes, as late I've been rocking a <a href="http://instagram.com/p/j2jgZ3J2lA/#">new hairstyle</a>, and no, I haven't cut it or anything; normally I'd comb it all back and leave it there, but in this weather it just frizzes and takes off in all directions anyway, so I figure I may as well wear it forward and pretend I've meant it to be the '70s feathermonster that it is.)<br />
<br />
And that was only Friday! Earlier today I attended the conference proper as well, a vibrant and diverse array of presenters and topics; I suspect that a few dozen people'll beat me to getting reactions and content up, but I quite enjoyed myself, I met a whole lot of fascinating new people, and the presentations gave me quite a bit to think about. <br />
<br />
Ah, but we can talk about that later. Let's have ourselves our weekly feature first; hello and welcome to <a href="http://slurpeesandmurder.blogspot.ca/search/label/ManLinkWeek">ManLinkWeek</a>!<br />
<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/local/agencies-hit-with-cash-cuts-242708251.html">Winnipeg Free Press: Agencies hit with cash cuts</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/manitoba/manitoba-child-welfare-agencies-decry-4-funding-cut-1.2517777">CBC Manitoba: Manitoba child welfare agencies decry 4% funding cut</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.phoenixsinclairinquiry.ca/">phoenixsinclairinquiry.ca: Commission of Inquiry into the Circumstances Surrounding the Death of Phoenix Sinclair</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/breakingnews/Real-message-of-Sinclair-inquiry-is-a-dire-warning-242969561.html">Winnipeg Free Press: Real message of Sinclair inquiry is a dire warning</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/manitoba/there-will-be-more-phoenixes-reaction-to-inquiry-report-mixed-1.2519060">CBC Manitoba: 'There will be more Phoenixes': reaction to inquiry report mixed</a> ]<br />
I will admit to a certain prior blindness, an intellectual laziness on my part, with this file: it really, genuinely did not occur to me that things could actually get worse than they were the last time we checked in. <br />
<br />
You'll recall the previous, and what I'm sure many of us thought was the last, indignity in the governing NDP's treatment of the Phoenix Sinclair case. It was <i>very</i> important that the Province <a href="http://globalnews.ca/news/1071951/manitoba-sitting-on-phoenix-sinclair-report-until-byelections-held/">withhold the final report</a> for a while, because just think of the impact it could've had on those <a href="http://www.winnipegsun.com/2014/01/28/martin-holds-down-morris-riding-in-byelection">by-election results</a>.<br />
<br />
So the government of the day had even <i>more</i> time to plan and coordinate their response, just in case the past eight and a half years weren't time enough, and with that extra preparation time the government chose to... slash funding to Child and Family Services agencies. <br />
<br />
To <i>slash funding to Child and Family Services agencies</i>. Consider the incredible timing on this decision, especially given that they could've made it and forced it into action <i>literally any time other than this one</i>.<br />
<br />
During -- <i>during</i>! -- the period between receiving the report and releasing the report, the provincial government ordered a retroactive four-per-cent cut to front-line child-welfare services. That's just over $3 million cut from roughly two dozen agencies, all of which are now scrambling desperately to find something that can be cut in a hurry; an inability to make deep enough cuts across the board may force layoffs and vacancy eliminations, depleting the same front-line staff that will be expected to implement and incorporate a long series of inquiry recommendations. <br />
<br />
So morale is soaring, probably. I bet there are a lot of bright and smiling faces in those CFS agencies right now, orange membership cards nestled tightly in their right palms to ensure the best possible high-fives around the office. <br />
<br />
You'll note that one of the recommendations made in the report is to cut down and cap each social worker to 20 cases being handled at once. Lacking formal training as a mathematician, I am unsure how they'll accomplish this with fewer social workers. I like to hope I'm missing something.<br />
<br />
Reaction to the government's (eventual, begrudging) release of the inquiry report has seemed rather pessimistic, as you could probably gleam when the CBC News article on the story lead its headline with "<i>'There will be more Phoenixes'</i>". <br />
<br />
"<i>'There's going to be more Phoenixes,'</i> (caregiver Kim Edwards) <i>said. 'There may be more Phoenixes. I know that there have been more Phoenixes since 2005.</i>"<br />
<br />
This makes me uneasy for the obvious reasons, and then even more uneasy for what I hope are reasons I'm misreading. <br />
<br />
"There <u>will be</u> more Phoenixes" is an ominous but abstract warning; "There <u>may</u> be more Phoenixes" is a softer and more theoretical-sounding warning, albeit a warning nonetheless. But "I <u>know</u> that there <u>have been</u> more Phoenixes" is a chilling, suddenly-no-longer-metaphorical statement, and I'm deeply worried about what this statement may reveal if it was as deliberately worded as it seems to have been.<br />
<br />
She did not say "there could've been more Phoenixes", or "we're lucky there weren't more Phoenixes", or even "it's possible there may have been more Phoenixes." "<i>I know that there have been more Phoenixes since 2005</i>." <br />
<br />
As I'd said, I'm hoping that this statement was spur-of-the-moment and just as rhetorical as the other two; the idea that there may be other documented instances of murdered children, ones left alone for being less well-publicized than the Phoenix Sinclair case, is enough dread to last anyone a lifetime. So I am hoping, very dearly, that "I know" isn't "I <i>know</i>." Quite honestly, it's all been bad enough already.<br />
<br />
And the government -- <i>our</i> government, the people tasked with keeping us safe, the people who had the report in their possession for weeks now -- our government is actively cutting front-line child-welfare staff. The warning resonating through James Turner's column is "<i>pay now or pay later</i>"; the Province is choosing to pay <i>less</i>. It is almost, though not quite, completely incomprehensible.<br />
<br />
I want to say that I don't understand the strategy, but there's one possible angle I'm forced to acknowledge: it is entirely possible, having slashed $3.1 million of child welfare <i>just</i> before (finally) releasing the report, that the government plans on putting it back shortly afterward and boasting about the funding they've added since the report's release. I recognize that this may sound like a terribly cynical outlook at first, but it's also the only way those agencies could keep the funding, so this is actually as optimistic a scenario as I think we're going to get.<br />
<br />
Even still -- and I know I've expressed some variation on this before -- can you imagine how pooched this government would be if their opposition knew what it was doing? The NDP has giftwrapped its opponents the talking point of having cut child-welfare workers, and right alongside the area's biggest child-welfare story in recent history.<br />
<br />
For lack of hard numbers on how many staff are being cut, other parties would instead find it necessary to provide an rough estimate on the number of cuts. One thousand, say. One thousand CFS workers fired. That seems like it would be damaging, wouldn't it? The kind of thing that might stick, that people might bring up for another ten or fifteen years after the fact.<br />
<br />
Ah, but as I have also expressed in some form or another before, the NDP does <i>not</i> face any particularly threatening opposition force. Or at least, they didn't, before--<br />
<br />
[ <a href="http://aroundthistown.ca/2014/01/29/manitoba-hydro-and-manitoba-forward/">Around This Town: Manitoba Hydro and Manitoba Forward</a> ]<br />
--okay, no, they're still in the clear.<br />
<br />
"Manitoba Forward": 2014's "Responsible Winnipeg"? Compare and contrast.<br />
<br />
Meanwhile in Brandon-Souris:<br />
<br />
[ <a href="http://www.brandonsun.com/opinion/blogs/grant-hamilton/And-the-winner-is-242280751.html">Brandon Sun: And the winner is...</a> ]<br />
What a twist! I would've been fully tempted to go off the board, just in case his first official words were "<i>YEAHHH, BOYEEE~</i>"; that would've been money I'd've lost, if the poll had actually accepted money, but it would've been money I was willing to throw down regardless. <br />
<br />
Also: if elected, I promise to open my House of Commons speaking record with "<i>YEAHHH, BOYEEE~</i>".<br />
<br />
Meanwhile, reminding the rest of the nation that Winnipeg exists:<br />
<br />
<a href="http://life.nationalpost.com/2014/01/22/so-cold-its-cool-with-its-artsy-winter-events-winnipeg-is-the-place-to-be-this-january-really/">National Post: So cold it’s cool: With its artsy winter events, Winnipeg is the place to be this January — really</a> ]<br />
Y'know, it's funny -- if I didn't know better, I'd say this article seems to be implying that Winnipeg's strengths lie in embracing its extreme climate and fashioning itself as a winter-weather destination. Madness, right? I can't imagine anyone'd throw in behind an idea like that, my goodness, I never.<br />
<br />
Okay, back to Brandon again:<br />
<br />
[ <a href="http://www.brandonsun.com/opinion/columnists/first-draught/light-and-refreshing-new-zealand-lager-241705411.html">First Draught (Brandon Sun): Light and refreshing New Zealand lager</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.brandonsun.com/opinion/columnists/first-draught/big-rock-traditional-ale----a-new-bottle-and-label-for-a-new-year-242782861.html?thx=y">First Draught (Brandon Sun): A new bottle and label for a new year</a> ]<br />
Congratulations to Cody of <a href="http://www.beercrank.ca/">BeerCrank.ca</a> for his brand-new column in the Brandon Sun! Internet types crossing over into columnist work, the very idea. <br />
<br />
"First Draught" appears set to run weekly, so <a href="http://www.brandonsun.com/opinion/columnists/first-draught/">watch the dedicated column page</a> for updates; it'll all be a good time and fun and games until a rep sends him some complimentary Molson Cold Shots or something, and then it is going to be <i>on</i>.<br />
<br />
Speaking of beer:<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.winnipegsun.com/2014/01/17/beer-sales-could-be-just-the-ticket-for-selkirk-steelers">Winnipeg Sun: Beer sales could be just the ticket for Selkirk Steelers</a> ]<br />
"<i>The Steelers had an online survey recently asking Selkirk residents why they don't attend Steeler games. A lack of beer sales was the top complaint.</i>"<br />
<br />
Okay, but I mean, it's not like bee--<br />
<br />
"<i>Beer is sold at MJHL games in Portage, Virden, and Dauphin, Poponick noted. Winnipeg Blues fans can also purchase beer at the MTS Iceplex.</i>"<br />
<br />
...I did not realize this. Well! I would be lying if I said I don't want to do this at least once now; your ideas are intriguing to me, and I wish to subscribe to your hockey league. YO WHO WANTS TO GO GRAB A BEER AT AN MJHL GAME WITH ME, HIT ME BACK<br />
<br />
And I'm curious about opening the idea up wider, now, in fact! I'm not certain whether wider beer sales across all levels of hockey would be better or worse on the <a href="http://www.winnipegsun.com/2014/01/26/incidents-of-abusive-hockey-parents-on-the-rise-in-winnipeg">lunatic</a> <a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/local/take-a-lesson-on-being-a-good-hockey-parent-243046531.html">parents</a> front -- both outcomes would be funny for very different reasons -- but hey, if <a href="http://www.winnipegsun.com/2014/01/27/calm-down-your-kid-isnt-going-to-the-nhl">Mike Keenan's advice</a> is to "<i>chill out and enjoy the game</i>", I think I know the way <i>I</i>'d pick. Make it happen, MLCC, this is easy money!<br />
<br />
And speaking of the MLCC:<br />
<br />
[ <a href="http://www.liquormarts.ca/node/153511">Manitoba Liquor Mart: CLEARANCE</a> ]<br />
Yes indeed, folks, it's that time of year again! Mostly unloved potables at slightly better prices, for a limited time only.<br />
<br />
Now, the main reason so many products are being liquidated, one must bear in mind, is that a great many of them are just straight-up terrible ideas. (Distilled yogurt spirit? Grape jelly liqueur? <i>How is there always more cake vodka in these sales</i>?) But there are also some decently deep discounts on perfectly viable hooch selections, so if you have the money and you anticipate drinkin' things in future, well, now's the time.<br />
<br />
I had a funny story about a very nice bottle of Bowmore from last year's clearance sales, in fact, now that I think about it. But not like a ha-<i>ha</i> funny, exactly, so much as an I'd-left-it-at-my-girlfriend's-place-when-she-cheated-on-me-with-a-coworker-twice-her-age funny. Hey, we've all been there, right? That is definitely a relatable thing that we can all laugh about after the fact. Life! Ahhh, life.<br />
<br />
As for the current sale, I'm of two minds about it. On the one hand, I've been moving out of my about-to-be-old apartment this week, so this was the most inopportune possible time for the clearance to land; the sales have meant that Liquor Marts are extremely leery of letting people take boxes, in case someone might buy thirty bottles of wine and want to carry them. On the other hand, <a href="http://www.liquormarts.ca/product/marquis-de-villard-vsop-brandy/750-ml">brandy is twenty dollars after tax</a>. So.<br />
<br />
I talked this up to a couple of people at MBlog, but here's a worthwhile endeavour for you: in a large mug, stir a desired amount of hot chocolate powder -- a heaping tablespoon, say -- into a few ounces of milk. Add one shot of brandy, or two if you're into that, then fill the rest of that bad boy up with coffee and stir vigorously. I'll tell you what, friend: you won't feel cold any more.<br />
<br />
The <a href="http://www.christianbrothersbrandy.com/recipes.html#mocha">original recipe I'd adapted</a> also recommends adding additional sugar, but sugary drinks are for people who aren't <a href="http://slurpeesandmurder.blogspot.ca/2013/09/the-hemingway-special-is-my-favourite.html">into Hemingways</a>. So, nah, trust me, try it without the sugar first and you'll most likely enjoy it just fine. (Besides, y'all know how sugar's bad for you.)<br />
<br />
Thank you for reading <a href="http://slurpeesandmurder.blogspot.ca/search/label/ManLinkWeek">ManLinkWeek</a>! There'll be <a href="http://winnipegcat.blogspot.ca/2014/01/january-31st-2014.html">two more years</a> of brown water, y'all feel free to <a href="http://metronews.ca/voices/urban-compass-winnipeg/922205/if-youre-unhappy-with-winnipeg-city-hall-now-is-the-time-to-get-engaged/">go get mad about it</a>, and I'll meet you back here for the next post sometime soon.<p>James Hope Howardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18143628957923923335noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35424944.post-34749980462809509872014-01-25T22:10:00.000-06:002014-01-25T22:19:29.135-06:00Manitoba Links Weekly: A Whole Bunch of Food-Related Links This Week, But First Let's Note This Flooded Hospital and This Explosion (ManLinkWeek S02E14)<p>Hello and welcome to <a href="http://slurpeesandmurder.blogspot.ca/search/label/ManLinkWeek">Manitoba Links Weekl</a>OH GOD--<br />
<br />
<a href="http://twitter.com/BrittAtGlobal/status/427102707929735168/photo/1/large"><img src="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/otterburneexplosion20140125.jpg" title="BOOM (Click for Source)"></a> [<a href="http://twitter.com/BrittAtGlobal/status/427102707929735168/photo/1">via</a>]<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
[ <a href="http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/manitoba/natural-gas-pipeline-explodes-near-otterburne-man-1.2510873">CBC Manitoba: Natural gas pipeline explodes near Otterburne, Man.</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://globalnews.ca/news/1106874/pipeline-blast-sends-fireball-into-sky-near-otterburne/">Global Winnipeg: Pipeline blast sends fireball into sky near Otterburne</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/local/Natural-gas-pipeline-explodes--241954821.html">Winnipeg Free Press: Natural gas pipeline explodes in southeastern Manitoba</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://winnipeg.ctvnews.ca/communities-without-natural-gas-after-pipeline-explosion-1.1655658">CTV Winnipeg: Communities without natural gas after pipeline explosion</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegsun.com/2014/01/25/fireball-still-burning-south-of-winnipeg">Winnipeg Sun: Gas pipeline explodes, sending fireball into sky over Otterburne</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.kenoraonline.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=7819&Itemid=160">KenoraOnline: State of local emergency declared in southern Manitoba</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.reuters.com/article/2014/01/25/transcanada-pipeline-explosion-idUSL2N0KZ0FW20140125">Reuters: TransCanada gas pipeline explodes in Manitoba, none hurt</a> ]<br />
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<iframe width="560" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/D-bp1DzJ7so" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br />
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<iframe width="560" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/VP3Zznu9ORg" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br />
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<iframe width="560" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/3jr5S8NzeGU" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br />
<br />
Wow. Yeah, so. If you'd cast a glance southward late last night and happened to wonder what <i>that</i> was, it was a natural gas pipeline doing precisely what you do not want a natural gas pipeline to do.<br />
<br />
The explosion has been <a href="https://twitter.com/KatieNicholson/status/427278494595153920">confirmed as non-suspicious</a>, which is comforting if you're glad that nobody is going around blowing up natural gas pipes to prove some sort of point, but also not comforting if you find yourself near a natural gas pipe any time soon and start wondering if they just kind of blow up on their own.<br />
<br />
It's caused quite a bit of chaos in the area, evacuations and power losses and lots of folks trying to stay warm tonight; I'm sure there'll be more thorough investigations into the incident and some spirited discussions around pipeline owner TransCanada Corp. in the coming week or two, but for now everyone's busy trying to make the situation less of a mess.<br />
<br />
You'll recall that Manitoba's <a href="http://slurpeesandmurder.blogspot.ca/2012/10/manitoba-links-weekly-st-boniface-as.html">last gigantic cinematic explosion</a> was in St. Boniface, but St. Boniface is currently busy with a different kind of disaster:<br />
<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/local/St-Boniface-cancels-surgeries-after-operating-room-floods-241529721.html">Winnipeg Free Press: St. Boniface cancels surgeries after operating rooms flood</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegsun.com/2014/01/22/water-leak-forces-closure-of-st-boniface-hospital-operating-rooms">Winnipeg Sun: Water leak forces closure of St. Boniface Hospital operating rooms</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/manitoba/st-boniface-surgeries-cancelled-after-operating-rooms-flooded-1.2507044">CBC Manitoba: St. Boniface surgeries cancelled after operating rooms flooded</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://winnipeg.ctvnews.ca/dozens-of-st-boniface-hospital-surgeries-cancelled-or-redirected-so-far-due-to-water-leak-1.1653085">CTV Winnipeg: Dozens of St. Boniface Hospital surgeries cancelled or redirected so far due to water leak</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/breakingnews/flood-flows-work-to-other-ors-241776441.html">Winnipeg Free Press: Flood flows work to other ORs</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://globalnews.ca/news/1105824/latest-on-or-shutdown-and-cancelled-surgeries/">Global Winnipeg: St. Boniface ORs to remain closed for "a week or two"</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/manitoba/st-boniface-optimistic-ors-in-action-again-in-1-2-weeks-1.2510317">CBC Manitoba: St. Boniface optimistic ORs in action again in 1-2 weeks</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/breakingnews/WRHA-cautiously-optimistic-St-B-ORs-could-be-fixed-in-2-weeks-241884801.html">Winnipeg Free Press: WRHA 'cautiously optimistic' St. B ORs could be fixed in 2 weeks</a> ]<br />
Oh, <i>geez</i>. It really hasn't been a good year for the WRHA so far, has it? Just one thing after another. <br />
<br />
I'm not sure if they have defined contingency measures for this sort of thing, or if they're just forced to wing it, but this is going to cause a new pile of delays for an already stressed health system not known for its, shall we say, expedience.<br />
<br />
On the bright side, nothing blew up! Nothing blew up. <br />
<br />
Also in unfortunate-closures news this week:<br />
<br />
[ <a href="http://winnipeg.ctvnews.ca/video?clipId=277362&binId=1.1164782&playlistPageNum=1">CTV Winnipeg: Mondragon restaurant set to close</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/business/Mondragon-closing-doors-for-good-this-month-241013351.html">Winnipeg Free Press: Mondragon closing doors for good this month</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/manitoba/mondragon-to-close-doors-after-18-years-of-business-1.2502743">CBC Manitoba: Mondragon to close doors after 18 years of business</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://metronews.ca/news/winnipeg/914282/winnipeg-to-lose-mondragon-bookstore-coffee-house/">Metro Winnipeg: Winnipeg to lose Mondragon Bookstore & Coffee House</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.themanitoban.com/2014/01/goodbye-mondragon/18410/">The Manitoban: Goodbye, Mondragon</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.quillandquire.com/blog/index.php/bookselling-2/winnipegs-mondragon-bookstore-to-close/">Quill & Quire: Winnipeg's Mondragon bookstore to close</a> ]<br />
Alas, our fair city is losing a singular institution; there are only so many anchor-tenant anarchist-collective worker-cooperative combination-bookstore-and-vegan-restaurants in the world, and tomorrow there will be one fewer. <br />
<br />
We discussed the closure of the Mondragon on <a href="http://archives.winnipeginternetpundits.com/post/74228463392/january-22nd-2014-hashtag-we-are-all-insane">this week of Winnipeg Internet Pundits</a>, so I'll try not to dwell too long on it, but I remain hopeful that someone or something else will step in and provide a new hub for the community the Mondragon had helped to build. Perhaps in that now-vacant A-Zone space, or perhaps not, but ideally so; the Albert Street Autonomous Zone Co-op went to <a href="http://uniter.ca/view/albert-street-a-zone-co-op-successfully-purchases-property">a lot of effort</a> to acquire and preserve the building, so I wish them the best in securing an appropriate and ideologically-acceptable tenant for that anchor space.<br />
<br />
Moving now from restaurants closing to restaurants opening:<br />
<br />
[ <a href="http://dustinpernitsky.blogspot.ca/2014/01/bad-business-public-relations-and.html">Three Minutes of Less with Dustin Pernitsky: Bad business, Public Relations, and Poutine</a> ]<br />
haaaaaaa, yeah a'ight, cool PR there Smoke's <br />
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[ <a href="http://powergoesout.wordpress.com/2014/01/24/fancy-food-future/">Power Goes Out (to eat): Fancy food and the future</a> ]<br />
I only really dabble in <a href="http://slurpeesandmurder.blogspot.ca/2014/01/i-went-to-preview-event-for-winnipeg.html">food blogging</a> from time to time, at least so far, but I like to think that part of the fun is doing one's best to convey the experience of both the food and the atmosphere around it.<br />
<br />
This blog post by RRC CreComm student Jordan Power definitely accomplishes that goal, but not in the way you're probably expecting. Oh, man, we've all been there, though, haven't we? "I should really, I should <i>definitely</i>, I should rrrrrAHH I can't I can't nope nope nope nope bail out bail out sorry everyone". <br />
<br />
I'd love to world-wearily advise him that this all entirely disappears with time and experience, but I'd be lying through my teeth, so I will do no such thing. It does get better, though! You'd be amazed at what a new pair of pants can solve. <br />
<br />
(Ahh, grad suits, man. <i>There</i>'s a shared rite-of-passage dude-gripe if ever there was one.)<br />
<br />
Onward to slot number six:<br />
<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegsun.com/2014/01/10/welcome-to-your-winnipeg">Winnipeg Sun: Welcome to Your Winnipeg</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegsun.com/2013/12/11/where-is-winnipegs-best-breakfast">Winnipeg Sun: Winnipeg's best breakfast: Stella's</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegsun.com/2014/01/08/where-can-you-find-winnipegs-best-fries">Winnipeg Sun: Winnipeg's best fries: New York Burgers</a> ]<br />
I'd foreshadowed this <a href="http://slurpeesandmurder.blogspot.ca/2014/01/manitoba-links-weekly-heres-that.html">last week</a>, and sure enough, here it is. Your Winnipeg! It's an ambitious project, and it's off to a strong start so far -- coincidentally also a food-related start, because that's how this post is shaking out today. (Maybe next week I should eat just before I start writing, I don't know.)<br />
<br />
So here are the opening two poll-winner profiles, the city's best breakfast and best fries; the next profiles will be on <a href="http://www.winnipegsun.com/2014/01/10/whats-your-favourite-local-landmark">favourite landmark</a> and <a href="http://www.winnipegsun.com/2014/01/10/where-can-you-get-winnipegs-best-cheap-drinks">best cheap-drink haven</a>, and then it'll continue on in pairs like that for the rest of the year, so be sure to keep an eye on that feature from week to week.<br />
<br />
And y'know what goes well on fries? Y'know what goes well on <i>lots</i> of things?<br />
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[ <a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/breakingnews/a-manitoba-mistake-241934301.html">Winnipeg Free Press: A Manitoba mistake: Honey dill sauce is strange and it's zesty... and it's ours</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegomyheart.com/2014/01/everything-you-ever-wanted-to-know-about-honey-dill-sauce/">Winnipeg O' My Heart: Everything You Ever Wanted to Know about Honey Dill Sauce</a> ]<br />
AWW YISS HONEY DILL SAUCE<br />
<br />
MANITOBA'S GIFT TO THE WORLD<br />
<br />
SMOTHER ALL THE THINGS<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<font size="1">(cough)</font><br />
<br />
Er, sorry. Maybe went a little far there. I just mentally pictured the jar including the quote "<i>'SMOTHER ALL THE THINGS' -- James Hope Howard</i>" somewhere on the back and thought to myself that maybe this isn't the best rallying cry. <br />
<br />
Honey dill, though, man! A personal weakness for many of us, but a shared strength as a group. Or... something like that. (Aww, man, I am <i>never</i> making the back of a honey dill sauce jar at this rate.)<br />
<br />
Thank you for reading <a href="http://slurpeesandmurder.blogspot.ca/search/label/ManLinkWeek">ManLinkWeek</a>!<p>James Hope Howardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18143628957923923335noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35424944.post-42233249607537911582014-01-24T20:53:00.000-06:002014-01-25T02:37:18.767-06:00I Went to a Preview Event For Winnipeg Mardi Gras and Everything Was Delicious, So Here're Some Recommendations<p>Well, good evening, all you fine folks! <br />
<br />
January has been flying right by, our fair city's events calendar is jam-packed, and it's finally warmed back up enough that we can all go outside without screaming. Busy times! In fact, I'm off to the <a href="http://www.facebook.com/events/267194183431687/">(hashtag) Dave Shorr Comeback Party</a> shortly after I've finished this post -- if you see this in time you should totally come down too, tickets available at the door 'n'all that -- but first let me tell you about a thing I went to about a week ago, because I know y'all love pictures of food and drinks.<br />
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<a href="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/20140116mardigraspreview/mardigraspreview01.jpg"><img src="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/20140116mardigraspreview/mardigraspreview01.jpg" title="(Click to Enlarge)" width="600" height="450"></a><br />
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<a href="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/20140116mardigraspreview/mardigraspreview02.jpg"><img src="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/20140116mardigraspreview/mardigraspreview02.jpg" title="(Click to Enlarge)" width="600" height="450"></a><br />
<br />
Hark! <a href="http://www.winnipegmardigras.com/">Winnipeg Mardi Gras</a> approaches!<br />
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I received an invitation to attend a Winnipeg Mardi Gras preview event -- comped, in full disclosure, though I think you know you can trust me if I tell you a thing is tasty -- and the Convention Centre's Pan Am Room was decked out accordingly.<br />
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<a href="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/20140116mardigraspreview/mardigraspreview15.jpg"><img src="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/20140116mardigraspreview/mardigraspreview15.jpg" title="(Click to Enlarge)" width="600" height="450"></a><br />
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Oh, and the room was festively decorated, too. (Sorry, distracted for a second there.) Festive lighting, bright colours, wild arrangements, and -- Jack Daniel's being one of the sponsoring products -- a full-size Jack Daniel statue.<br />
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<a href="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/20140116mardigraspreview/mardigraspreview18.jpg"><img src="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/20140116mardigraspreview/mardigraspreview18.jpg" title="(Click to Enlarge)" width="600" height="450"></a><br />
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Jack Daniel has seen some things, friend. Things man wun'nt meant to see. <br />
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The culinary attractions were the primary focus of this event preview -- give 'em the first taste for free, hook them on the shrimp to keep 'em coming back, fiendishly brilliant business model really -- so let me take you through my food and drink experiences that evening, in chronological order.<br />
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<a href="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/20140116mardigraspreview/mardigraspreview04.jpg"><img src="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/20140116mardigraspreview/mardigraspreview04.jpg" title="(Click to Enlarge)" width="600" height="450"></a><br />
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This is an older camera I'm working with, but you can see how fresh those look, right? I am a known shrimp enthusiast -- a devourer of shrimp worlds, the Galactus of seafood with diminutive names -- and these were plump and crisp and tasty and oh my and oh yes. <br />
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I am vastly less familiar with oysters, reason enough to eat 'em and build that experience base, so while I am not <i>personally</i> capable of weighing the oysters against similar oyster offerings, I can confirm that it was salty and squishy and its own kinda thing and basically what you'd expect when you picture an oyster. I dug it! I don't know oysters, but I know what I like.<br />
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I like wine, incidentally. (You are surprised, I'm sure.) The red to the left in that picture is a -- hang on -- <br />
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<a href="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/20140116mardigraspreview/mardigraspreview31.jpg"><img src="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/20140116mardigraspreview/mardigraspreview31.jpg" title="(Click to Enlarge)" width="600" height="450"></a><br />
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-- the red in question is an Italian 2012 Pasqua Sangiovese, very robust floral nose, initially very fruity but with an impressively dry brick wall of an aftertaste. In a good way, of course! A good brick wall. You can tell I'm not normally a wine writer, the good wine writers probably have a really impressive Italian name for a brick wall. What I mean is that the fruit notes linger for a few seconds and then (wham!) a very pleasant tannic haze bursts in and makes itself comfortable. <br />
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And red wines are heart-healthy, so hey, double-bonus! I'm going to live forever. Next slide!<br />
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<a href="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/20140116mardigraspreview/mardigraspreview05.jpg"><img src="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/20140116mardigraspreview/mardigraspreview05.jpg" title="(Click to Enlarge)" width="600" height="450"></a><br />
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This dude was cranking out samples of the show's Bourbon Flamed Garlic Pepper Shrimp (you can see on the right that all of the tables had signs explaining the dishes, so no, I didn't just bust that name out off the top of my head), which sounded delicious; I had intended to swing back and try it later, since the samplers were disappearing as quickly as he could put them out, but -- spoiler alert -- I got full and forgot. Alas! It's probably mad tasty, though, given the name.<br />
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<a href="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/20140116mardigraspreview/mardigraspreview06.jpg"><img src="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/20140116mardigraspreview/mardigraspreview06.jpg" title="(Click to Enlarge)" width="600" height="450"></a><br />
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'Full', of course, only counts in food. The sampler shots from this table were served in novelty light-up Fireball shot glasses -- <br />
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<a href="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/20140116mardigraspreview/mardigraspreview13.jpg"><img src="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/20140116mardigraspreview/mardigraspreview13.jpg" title="(Click to Enlarge)" width="600" height="450"></a><br />
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-- aaand I didn't get any pictures of the shots because I drank them at the booth while talking to the server. Y'know how it is. They're easy to describe, though, they both looked like Fireball whisky; one of them <i>was</i> straight Fireball whisky, as brazenly cinnamon-hearty as you remember it, and the other was a half-shot of Fireball whisky mixed with a half-shot of spiced rum. It is named a "Burt Reynolds", and it is <i>very</i> smooth -- like Burt Reynolds, right -- the spices mellowing the cinnamon and creating a more intricate taste palette. They're still whisky and rum mixed together, of course, so be careful with 'em.<br />
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Onward to pasta!<br />
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<a href="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/20140116mardigraspreview/mardigraspreview07.jpg"><img src="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/20140116mardigraspreview/mardigraspreview07.jpg" title="(Click to Enlarge)" width="600" height="450"></a><br />
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This is a "New Orleans Rosé Farfalle Pasta with Chicken, Spicy Sausage and Capicola", pan-fried in a white wine reduction with creamy tomato sauce. To give you some idea of how much I liked this dish, I went home the night after and attempted to recreate it from memory. I failed spectacularly, of course, but it was still pasta and meat and tomatoes and vegetables, so the outcome was triumphant nonetheless.<br />
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THIS DISH, THOUGH. Pictures don't really do its taste justice, and even live in person it kinda just looks like a turbocharged Chef Boy-Ar-Dee, but I assure you it is very dramatically tasty. The spices in the Italian sausage are what tie everything together, accentuated by the sauce combination and the sauteed onions, and the meat chunks they dole out in this bad boy are <i>huge</i>. You too will try to make it afterwards, is what I'm getting at. You will fail, but you will try, and the failure dishes will still be very good dishes.<br />
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Tomato and white wine sauces, man. There is powerful sorcery at work in that combination.<br />
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This is a Fried Oyster and Cheese Po'Boy, served on a baguette with lettuce, dill pickle, tomato, and whatever a "Mardi Gras dressing" is. It is the other of the two dishes that I got full and did not get around to eating, because each one was a very labour-intensive assembly effort and not a single one made it to the table proper before a patron could make off with it. Heck, this is a photograph of the display model! I suppose I <i>could</i>'ve swiped the display model, but really, at that same table:<br />
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DEEP-FRIED PICKLE SPEARS.<br />
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PICKLE SPEARS. DEEP FRIED.<br />
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I'm not a full-on <i>expert</i> on deep-fried things, because I recognize that there's a whole wide world of deep-fried experiments out there in the world, and I recognize that there are probably people who pride themselves on hunting and devouring them. But I'd rank myself squarely in a middle echelon of deep-fried experiences; I'm not a world authority, but I'm not <i>against</i> tryin' em, either. (Well, I mean, obviously. Here's a deep-fried pickle in a heavy Cajun cheese sauce, sitting on a plate.) <br />
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I attended the annual Canadian Library Association conference this year, right here in Winnipeg, which included a reception inside the Millennium Library; one of the hors d'oeuvres served at the event was <i>deep-fried brie cheese bites</i>, and they were <i>amazing</i>, and they tasted like they were more expensive than my car. They were also, and this is a rough estimate, probably about three hundred thousand calories each.<br />
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This is a less extravagant but vastly more balanced experience; it's the weirdest thing, the effect of an honest-to-goodness vegetable inside the breading and the cheese sauce, you <i>actually feel healthy</i>. It's an amazing trick of the brain. The pickle taste and the breading taste offset each other quite subtly -- it takes several seconds to even detect that signature buzz of brine -- and you're chewing, and you're chewing, and one fried spear is probably more calories than everything else you've eaten that day <i>combined</i>, but you feel healthier nonetheless because of that vegetable texture. It is a wild and potentially dangerous experience.<br />
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Speaking of wild and potentially dangerous:<br />
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Oyster Shot? Oyster Shot.<br />
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Oyster Shot. (You can tell this shot was taken on the fly. Do not attempt to aim directly at Oyster Shot. If cornered by Oyster Shot, play dead. Do not taunt Happy Fun Oyster Shot.)<br />
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An Oyster Shot turns out to be one ounce of vodka, an oyster (obviously), and a remainder of a glass' worth of tomato juice. You have the choice of spicy- or non-spicy tomato juice, so obviously I went with spicy, because there's no point in halfassing anything when you've already committed to shotgunning a vodka oyster.<br />
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So I shotgunned a vodka oyster in spicy tomato juice, and, my word, it's an experience. As mentioned earlier, oysters are largely unexplored territory for me -- <i>uncharted waters</i>, if y'will, haaaaa see what I did there -- and really, now that I think about it, I also don't remember the last time I drank tomato juice outside of a cocktail. Maybe I am not the <i>target</i> demographic, per se. I enjoyed doing it, though! It was definitely a singular creature, a concept all its own, and the spicy tomato juice <i>did</i> offer a smoother oyster introduction than an oyster-shy person might take from a standalone one. <br />
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I kinda like oysters, and I kinda like tomato juice, and I quite enjoyed trying this for trying's sakes. Fun textures in it! If you enjoy oysters and tomato juice, you will enjoy an Oyster Shot, and if you do not like either of those things I am very specifically telling you that they are both in an Oyster Shot. <br />
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If you're after something less daunting, this is a far easier sell:<br />
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<a href="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/20140116mardigraspreview/mardigraspreview17.jpg"><img src="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/20140116mardigraspreview/mardigraspreview17.jpg" title="(Click to Enlarge)" width="600" height="450"></a><br />
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This is a Love Potion. It is gin, lemon juice, pink champagne and grenadine. It is exactly as sweet and citrusy as that suggests, and yes, it is incredibly girly, but -- and I feel this very strongly, this is a message delivered with conviction -- dudes really should not let such things scare them away from tasty drinks. Flex while you drink it if you gotta, I don't care, just get this champagne-carbonated cuteness explosion into your mouth. You'll enjoy it, trust me, it's a thing you'll like.<br />
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Another drink that you'll enjoy, less specifically gendered but vastly more precarious:<br />
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<a href="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/20140116mardigraspreview/mardigraspreview20.jpg"><img src="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/20140116mardigraspreview/mardigraspreview20.jpg" title="(Click to Enlarge)" width="600" height="450"></a><br />
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<a href="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/20140116mardigraspreview/mardigraspreview22.jpg"><img src="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/20140116mardigraspreview/mardigraspreview22.jpg" title="(Click to Enlarge)" width="600" height="450"></a><br />
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This, friends, is an Agent Orange. It is Jack Daniels, Southern Comfort, a full glass of orange juice, and a li'l decorative orange slice.<br />
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It is also borderline impossible to properly photograph on an orange tablecloth by orange candlelight. You should see the blooper reel I assembled in trying to capture this, it's mortifying.<br />
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A nearby wine server took pity on my cause, however, and:<br />
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<a href="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/20140116mardigraspreview/mardigraspreview23.jpg"><img src="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/20140116mardigraspreview/mardigraspreview23.jpg" title="(Click to Enlarge)" width="600" height="450"></a><br />
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Thank you, wine server! Oh, that's so much easier. Whew!<br />
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Anyway, this drink tastes the way it looks: it is very, <i>very</i> orange. Dangerously orange! The Southern Comfort adds its underlying spice and fruit notes, which obviously pair very well with a big glass of orange juice, and the Jack Daniels just whistles innocently and pretends it isn't there. But it's <i>there</i>, friends. Oh, it is there. And that is why this is a dangerous drink. <br />
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You have encountered similar delicious concoctions in the past, I am sure, and you have learned to be careful with such things. The benefits of experience! (This is quite obviously all code for me indicating "here is a fun drink that will get you bombed very smoothly", but Drink Responsibly, after all.)<br />
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Back to the food beat!<br />
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<a href="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/20140116mardigraspreview/mardigraspreview24.jpg"><img src="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/20140116mardigraspreview/mardigraspreview24.jpg" title="(Click to Enlarge)" width="600" height="450"></a><br />
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With the table very briefly unoccupied, I engrossed myself in photographing the ingredients spread and the cheat-sheet; the chef stationed at the jambalaya booth returned while I was taking this picture, and -- in a quintessentially Winnipeg fashion, wouldn't you know it -- it turns out we know each other from way back. I know, right? Winnipeg! <i>Winnipeg</i>.<br />
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<a href="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/20140116mardigraspreview/mardigraspreview26.jpg"><img src="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/20140116mardigraspreview/mardigraspreview26.jpg" title="(Click to Enlarge)" width="600" height="450"></a><br />
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COZ-ZYYYYYY HOW YOU BEEN MANG<br />
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<a href="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/20140116mardigraspreview/mardigraspreview27.jpg"><img src="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/20140116mardigraspreview/mardigraspreview27.jpg" title="(Click to Enlarge)" width="600" height="450"></a><br />
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Anyway, remember what I was saying earlier about exceptional foods that are impossible to properly flatter in photographs? That's jambalaya to a T. (Yes, I know there's no 'T' in 'jambalaya', it's an express--ahhh, never mind.) The chicken in this dish was <i>incredible</i>, fortified with every delicious swirling flavour around it, and the whole mixture -- pre-prepared, obviously, given how much effort the rice involved takes -- was pan-fried in a blended scotch, which feels like something I'm going to accidentally burn my place down trying. <br />
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Those crunchy accessories on top are probably intended to serve as a textural counterbalance to the softer main dish, but honestly after trying the jambalaya I came to regard them as speed bumps. They are there for the purpose of slowing one down, lest one cram jambalaya into oneself to the point of excess; it is not a food that you will <i>want</i> to stop eating, but it is necessary that at some point you must.<br />
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And, finally:<br />
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Wine to start, wine to finish. I like wine. (You are surprised, I'm sure.) This is a Californian blended white, a Chardonnay base with Pinot Grigio and Riesling additions, and while I am not its target market -- it's a little sweeter than I tend to aim for in wines -- it has a pleasant acidic tang of an aftertaste and goes about its business of being a sweet wine entirely admirably.<br />
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In conclusion, as you have probably already gleamed, I quite enjoyed the evening. Good show all around! I'll most definitely be going to the event proper, so mark your calendars -- <a href="http://www.winnipegmardigras.com/">Winnipeg Mardi Gras</a> approaches! February 14th and 15th, <strike>Winnipeg</strike> <font size="1">right</font> RBC Convention Centre Winnipeg, tickets now available.<br />
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(And before I forget: <a href="http://lovemelovemywinnipeg.blogspot.ca/">fellow</a> <a href="http://www.cenquist.com/">blogger</a> <a href="http://shelleyacook.blogspot.ca/">shoutouts</a>! Whoo!)<br />
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Onward to adventure! I'll see you folks at <a href="http://www.facebook.com/events/267194183431687/">#daveshorrcomebackparty</a>, unless I don't, in which case I'll see you back here tomorrow for <a href="http://slurpeesandmurder.blogspot.ca/search/label/ManLinkWeek">Manitoba Links Weekly</a>.<p>James Hope Howardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18143628957923923335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35424944.post-39782937194021455692014-01-18T23:31:00.000-06:002014-01-19T09:28:28.183-06:00Manitoba Links Weekly: Here's That #laserpyramid Explanation and Image Gallery You Were Waiting For, Portage Places Plural (Portages Place?), Your Choices are the Reprehensible Party or the Incompetent Party, And I Wish Every Night Were Retro Night (ManLinkWeek S02E13)<p><a href="http://twitter.com/bdnwheatkings/status/422083572946575360/photo/1/large"><img src="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/20140118laserpyramid/BWKretronightprices.jpg" title="(Click for Source)"></a><br />
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I am a simple man, and I do not ask for much. Just Retro Night pricing, every night, everywhere. I would be so happy. [ <a href="http://twitter.com/bdnwheatkings/status/422083572946575360/photo/1">via</a> ]<br />
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Hello and welcome to <a href="http://slurpeesandmurder.blogspot.ca/search/label/ManLinkWeek">Manitoba Links Weekly</a>! It's been a heck of a week, hasn't it? Really seemed to fly right by. <br />
<br />
<a href="http://archives.winnipeginternetpundits.com/post/73466338788/january-15th-2014-dangerous-conditions-derick">This week</a> on <a href="http://archives.winnipeginternetpundits.com/">Winnipeg Internet Pundits</a> we alternative-media types tackled the City's engrossingly terrible snow-clearing nightmare, the Province's precariously flimsy reasoning on both the Phoenix Sinclair and hospital-discharge taxi-ride files, and the Manitoba Progressive Conservatives' continued Wile E. Coyote act of running headfirst into rocks they've painted to look like tunnels. (Some of these stories are linked below as well, you'll know 'em when you see 'em.)<br />
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Onward to <a href="http://slurpeesandmurder.blogspot.ca/search/label/ManLinkWeek">ManLinkWeek</a>! More germanely, onward to LASERS:<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegsun.com/2014/01/17/city-needs-2nd-water-supply-former-mayor-susan-thompson">Winnipeg Sun: Big ideas from former mayor Susan Thompson</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/local/Lasers-hot-tubs-evergreens-would-enhance-city-former-mayor-Thompson-240884171.html">Winnipeg Free Press: Lasers, hot tubs, evergreens would enhance city: former mayor Thompson</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://winnipeg.ctvnews.ca/video?clipId=277336#277336">CTV Winnipeg: Former mayor pitches laser pyramid</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/local/is-that-winnipeg-under-a-laser-beam-240976701.html">Winnipeg Free Press: Is that Winnipeg under a laser beam?</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://winnipegcat.blogspot.ca/2014/01/january-18th-2014.html">Winnipeg Cat: JANUARY 18th, 2014</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://tessavanderhart.wordpress.com/2014/01/18/no-joke-we-need-new-ideas/">Urbicolous: No joke — we need new ideas</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://twitter.com/MayorSusanWPG">Twitter: Susan Thompson (MayorSusanWPG)</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://twitter.com/LaserPyramid">Twitter: Laser Pyramid (@LaserPyramid)</a> ]<br />
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p><a href="https://twitter.com/search?q=%23laserpyramid&src=hash">#laserpyramid</a> is now trending in <a href="https://twitter.com/search?q=%23Winnipeg&src=hash">#Winnipeg</a> <a href="http://t.co/SOz9d40eyx">http://t.co/SOz9d40eyx</a></p>— Trendsmap Winnipeg (@TrendsWinnipeg) <a href="https://twitter.com/TrendsWinnipeg/statuses/424293859107934208">January 17, 2014</a></blockquote><script async src="//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script><br />
Okay, so this--<br />
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p><a href="https://twitter.com/search?q=%23laserpyramid&src=hash">#laserpyramid</a> is now trending in Canada <a href="http://t.co/oLlm55D5s6">http://t.co/oLlm55D5s6</a></p>— Trendsmap Canada (@TrendsmapCanada) <a href="https://twitter.com/TrendsmapCanada/statuses/424327717362737152">January 17, 2014</a></blockquote><script async src="//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script><br />
Okay, so this went a little bonkers yesterday. A bit of a frenzy, a bit of a madhouse. I've seen a lot of people -- a <i>lot</i> of people -- openly mystified as to how Laser Pyramid became the monster of a topic that it did, so let's circle back and unpack it from where it first arrived.<br />
<br />
Former two-term Mayor of Winnipeg Susan Thompson returned to Winnipeg this week to deliver a thirty-minute speech to a packed Winnipeg Chamber of Commerce audience. The Winnipeg Chamber of Commerce has been running its "<a href="http://www.winnipeg-chamber.com/BOLD/Manitoba_BOLD.aspx">Manitoba BOLD</a>" campaign for the past few years, valuing vivid imagination over easy implementation; you'll recall that the WCC <a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/local/Councillor-says-Route-90-fence-plan-not-ready-to-hit-the-road-232525651.html">pitched a two-block, $7-million fence</a> eight weeks back, to give you a general idea of the tone. No harm in asking, as they say! Dare to dream, impossible until it's done, that sort of thing.<br />
<br />
So I feel comfortable in describing the Susan Thompson speech yesterday as peak Manitoba BOLD. You want imagination? You are <i>getting imagination</i>. <br />
<br />
A second water source for the city of Winnipeg, hedging bets against disturbances to the supply from Shoal Lake! (What? Well, I mean, sure, that actually doesn't sound too craz--)<br />
A trust fund for future infrastructure maintenance! (A little unorthodox, but okay, that c--)<br />
A genetically-modified evergreen forest along Route 90! (What. Okay, well, tree-planting could be a viabl--)<br />
Electric-car factories! (what)<br />
Public hot tubs and fake palm trees at Portage and Main! (<i>what</i>)<br />
A pyramid of laser beams over the city, visible from space! <br />
<br />
. . . ?<br />
<br />
<i>A pyramid of laser beams over the city, visible from space</i>. "And we would be the Pyramid of the Prairies," she continued, in what would turn out to be deadly seriousness.<br />
<br />
How deadly serious, you ask? Serious enough that it <i>almost happened fifteen years ago</i>; she had actually and genuinely proposed the idea during her time as Mayor, her executive policy committee ultimately shooting it down over possible safety concerns for overhead planes. <br />
<br />
The realization that Winnipeg could've been covered by a giant laser pyramid for the past fifteen years is just one more reminder that we do not live in the best of all possible worlds.<br />
<br />
So the Laser Pyramid concept and other related planks of the Susan Thompson platform captured the imaginations of Winnipeggers immediately, for what are probably very obvious reasons. I mean, yes, it's all <i>crazy</i>, but it's the kind of crazy that people can get behind -- and if Winnipeg <i>were</i> dead-set against expensive and potentially annoying status-symbol sky novelties, the City never would've bought a helicopter. <br />
<br />
Locals got right to work visualizing Susan Thompson's Laser-Pyramid Winnipeg:<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.winnipegsun.com/2014/01/17/city-needs-2nd-water-supply-former-mayor-susan-thompson"><img src="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/20140118laserpyramid/01_1297515622016_ORIGINAL.jpg" title="(Click for Source)"></a> [ <a href="http://www.winnipegsun.com/2014/01/17/city-needs-2nd-water-supply-former-mayor-susan-thompson">via</a> ]<br />
<br />
<a href="http://twitter.com/tessavanderhart/status/424272213424889856/photo/1"><img src="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/20140118laserpyramid/02_BeNRVIDCIAIpCaqjpg_large.jpg" title="(Click for Source)"></a> [ <a href="http://twitter.com/tessavanderhart/status/424272213424889856/photo/1">via</a> ]<br />
<br />
<a href="http://twitter.com/jameshopehoward/status/424330574329675776/photo/1"><img src="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/20140118laserpyramid/03_BeOGaL7CAAAu7Jdjpg_large.jpg" title="(Click for Source)"></a> [ <a href="http://twitter.com/jameshopehoward/status/424330574329675776/photo/1">via</a> ]<br />
<br />
<a href="http://twitter.com/RalphGlor/status/424332356279742464/photo/1"><img src="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/20140118laserpyramid/04_BeOIB6MCMAI2uSCjpg_large.jpg" title="(Click for Source)"></a> [ <a href="http://twitter.com/RalphGlor/status/424332356279742464/photo/1">via</a> ]<br />
<br />
<a href="http://twitter.com/BigFlamingPile/status/424361780165361664/photo/1/large"><img src="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/20140118laserpyramid/05_BeOiymtCQAAm2zHjpg_large.jpg" title="(Click for Source)"></a> [ <a href="http://twitter.com/BigFlamingPile/status/424361780165361664/photo/1/large">via</a> ]<br />
<br />
<a href="http://twitter.com/jameshopehoward/status/424367026874765312/photo/1"><img src="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/20140118laserpyramid/06_BeOnkAOCUAE3t6lpng_large.png" title="(Click for Source)"></a> [ <a href="http://twitter.com/jameshopehoward/status/424367026874765312/photo/1">via</a> ]<br />
<br />
<a href="http://twitter.com/brent_bellamy/status/424369091428638720/photo/1"><img src="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/20140118laserpyramid/07_BeOpcKpCMAASe1Ijpg_large.jpg" title="(Click for Source)"></a> [ <a href="http://twitter.com/brent_bellamy/status/424369091428638720/photo/1">via</a> ]<br />
<br />
<a href="http://instagram.com/p/jS8ZjzTacU/#"><img src="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/20140118laserpyramid/08_fcb7a5c47ff411e396e312b3099bf222_8.jpg" title="(Click for Source)"></a> [ <a href="http://instagram.com/p/jS8ZjzTacU/#">via</a> ]<br />
<br />
I am willing to compromise: since a full-city-scale laser pyramid may not be feasible, let us instead agree to raise a smaller but suitably dignified laser pyramid over our <a href="http://slurpeesandmurder.blogspot.ca/2014/01/manitoba-links-weekly-city-of.html">machine garden</a>. I am discovering an awful lot of things that I never knew I wanted, thus far through 2014.<br />
<br />
To properly frame what a delightfully odd environment this Laser Pyramid craze supported, bear in mind that this was also all unfolding at the same time as <a href="http://www.winnipegsun.com/2014/01/17/dog-park-could-get-special-pooch-splash-pad">this story</a> and <a href="http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/manitoba/winnipeg-man-opens-massive-backyard-rink-snow-bleachers-1.2501560">this story</a>. <br />
<br />
<iframe class="vine-embed" src="https://vine.co/v/hlMXutrTB90/embed/postcard" width="320" height="320" frameborder="0"></iframe><script async src="//platform.vine.co/static/scripts/embed.js" charset="utf-8"></script><br />
<br />
<i>And</i> at the same time as ALL THIS:<br />
<br />
[ <a href="http://twitter.com/PortagePlace">Twitter: Portage Place (@PortagePlace)</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://twitter.com/PortagePlaceWPG">Twitter: Portage Place (@PortagePlaceWPG)</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://twitter.com/Staples_PP_230">Twitter: Staples PortagePlace (@Staples_PP_230)</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://twitter.com/PortageStairs">Twitter: Portage Place Stairs (@PortageStairs)</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://twitter.com/WpgPortagePlace">Twitter: Portage Place (@WpgPortagePlace)</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://twitter.com/PORTAGEPALCE">Twitter: Mall of Portage Plac (@PORTAGEPALCE)</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://twitter.com/portage_place">Twitter: Portage Place (@portage_place)</a> ]<br />
All of these, as well as the @MayorSusanWPG and @LaserPyramid Twitter accounts linked above, emerged within a timeframe of approximately 36 hours. That timeframe also included an imitation Queen of England christening the opening of a backyard hockey rink; it included a serious, legitimate city proposal for a dogs-only splash pad; it included dreams of hybrid evergreen trees, and Portage and Main hot tubs, and A LASER PYRAMID VISIBLE FROM SPACE. I am having trouble properly crafting the words that would convey just how surreal and spectacular Winnipeg's past couple of days have seemed.<br />
<br />
2014, it seems, is the year that Winnipeg has resolved to finally embrace Weird Twitter in a major way. (You can <a href="http://slacktory.com/2012/10/weird-twitter-explained/">investigate</a> <a href="http://mashable.com/2013/10/24/weird-twitter-accounts/">some</a> <a href="http://www.pastemagazine.com/blogs/lists/2013/11/10-weird-twitter-beings-worth-a-follow.html">sources</a> if you're unfamiliar with the term 'Weird Twitter', but it's pretty well exactly what the name makes you think it'd be.) This isn't even counting the explosion of fake Paul Maurice Twitter feeds, because that's just an accepted part of professional sports nowadays and nobody really questions it any more.<br />
<br />
The seven Portage Place-related Twitter accounts are listed above in order of first appearance (or at least as closely as can be approximated, one of them having yet to record a tweet). The first was an obvious parody account, though not so obvious that it didn't suck a few people in; the reputation of Portage Place is such that people were entirely willing to believe those tweets were real. Which tells you a lot about those people, but also a lot about Portage Place. The second Portage Place feed to arrive was an equally obvious parody account, but more stable and apparently rooted in the early 2000s. And that's... now that I write it out like that, if that's what they were going for with it, that's brilliant.<br />
<br />
I don't have a hot clue what's going on with that third one, but it briefly gave me the mental image of a fake Twitter account for <i>every single store in the mall</i> -- all of them interacting with each other and with the entity of the mall as a whole, a fully-realized digital ecosystem mirroring an existing physical space yet completely independent of it -- and then I had to forcibly unplug myself from that concept because it was genuinely overwhelming me. That's a rabbit hole of metafiction I could very easily disappear into.<br />
<br />
why is there a fake twitter account for mall stairways<br />
<br />
The fifth Portage Place account <i>seems</i> to be legitimate, thus far; for how incriminating (and popular!) the first fake account was, it would make sense that someone involved with the mall felt the need to try and regain some degree of control. With that said, note my wording in that first sentence: it <i>seems</i> to be legitimate thus far. There's no proof of ownership, and no formal real-world statements made as yet -- granting, of course, that this has all happened over a weekend -- so it's still entirely possible that this fifth account is a long-con in progress. Not unheard of, in our modern times, and yes, I know how weird it is that we're all just sort of used to that.<br />
<br />
Whether real or not, the most-legitimate-seeming-thus-far Portage Place made a particularly egregious typo in its first few sorties: in a now-deleted tweet, the account asserted its status as the actual Portage Place by decrying the others as "immatators". That is the best explanation that I can offer for the sixth account, PORTAGEPALCE, so far as it is possible to explain <i>any</i>thing Portage-Place-Twitter-related. <br />
<br />
I want to reiterate: we will almost certainly never know who any of these people are. The mystery is part of the experience.<br />
<br />
And of course, if there are <i>six</i> brand new Portage Place Twitter feeds of varying chattiness and linguistic aptitude, why not follow the lead of Canadian hockey and Make It Seven? So now there is a @portage_place, because we already had a @PortagePlace and a @PortagePlaceWPG and a @WpgPortagePlace and a @PORTAGEPALCE. I am afraid to look again, because every time I looked there seemed to be a new one, and when they began to seek me out instead of the other way around -- I'm serious, I didn't find a lot of these, they found me -- it really drove home what an engrossingly, head-spinningly bizarre year this may turn out to be for our local social-media scenes.<br />
<br />
So Winnipeg has finally discovered Weird Twitter, with a vengeance, and thus far it is making for some fascinating chaos. I've compiled <a href="http://twitter.com/jameshopehoward/lists/coming-alive">a Twitter list of these Portage Place accounts</a>, to save you the trouble of keeping them all straight across seven windows, and reading it straight through makes for an absorbingly demented swirl of found poetry.<br />
<br />
Y'know what I think would make Portage Place more viable, though? A laser pyramid. I'M JUST SAYING.<br />
<br />
I'm actually rather glad that the last couple of days turned out so endearingly weird, because prior to that the whole month had been a serious string of downers. Let's check in on the provincial file:<br />
<br />
[ <a href="http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/manitoba/david-silver-78-dies-on-porch-after-hospital-release-on-37-c-night-1.2490624">CBC Manitoba: David Silver, 78, dies on porch after hospital release on -37 C night</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://winnipeg.ctvnews.ca/critical-incident-reviews-launched-after-2-patients-sent-home-from-hospital-in-cabs-die-1.1633919">CTV Winnipeg: Critical incident reviews launched after 2 patients sent home from hospital in cabs die</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/local/Cabbies-to-be-made-responsible-for-making-sure-discharged-patients-make-it-through-front-door-Selby-239680571.html">Winnipeg Free Press: Cabbies to be responsible for discharged patients: Selby</a> ] <br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegsun.com/2014/01/11/cabbies-in-crosshairs-after-discharge-deaths">Winnipeg Sun: Cabbies in crosshairs after discharge deaths</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://globalnews.ca/news/1076589/wheelchair-bound-woman-left-in-the-cold-by-cab-driver/">Global Winnipeg: Wheelchair-bound woman left in the cold by cab driver</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/manitoba/hospitals-not-cab-drivers-to-blame-for-deaths-man-says-1.2493844">CBC Manitoba: Hospitals, not cab drivers, to blame for deaths, man says</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/local/cabbies-slam-brakes-on-plan-239871291.html">Winnipeg Free Press: Cabbies slam brakes on plan, deny responsibility for safety of patients</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegsun.com/2014/01/13/family-says-province-shifting-blame-in-cab-deaths-controversy">Winnipeg Sun: Family says province shifting blame in cab deaths controversy</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://aroundthistown.ca/2014/01/14/death-cab-for-selby/">Around This Town: Death Cab For Selby</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/local/discharge-policy-not-followed-240048171.html">Winnipeg Free Press: Discharge policy not followed?</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/manitoba/seniors-group-slams-manitoba-plan-for-taxicab-drivers-1.2496075">CBC Manitoba: Seniors group slams Manitoba plan for taxicab drivers</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/local/no-stats-kept-on-use-of-cabs-by-hospitals-240048271.html">Winnipeg Free Press: No stats kept on use of cabs by hospitals</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegsun.com/2014/01/14/canadian-taxi-president-calls-out-province-for-discharge-plan">Winnipeg Sun: Canadian taxi president calls out province for discharge plan</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/opinion/analysis/my-dad-was-not-the-cabbies-patient-240433461.html">Winnipeg Free Press: My dad was not the cabbie's patient</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://citycircus.ca/exclusive-ndp-balked-at-extra-10-cost-to-get-hospital-patients-safely-inside-their-homes-did-3-deaths-result/">citycircus.ca: Exclusive: NDP balked at extra $10 cost to get Hospital patients safely inside their homes; did 3 deaths result?</a> ]<br />
Wow. Okay, well. You folks know that I do my best with this blog to avoid undue profanity, or profanity simply for profanity's sake, but: <i>holy shit</i>. There's no other way I can properly phrase how this case has unfolded. <br />
<br />
Each of those links above add their own new wrinkle to an already terrible development, and if that seems like an excessively long link list above, please note that it was more than twice as long when I started. I had to edit it <i>down</i> to this. That's how catastrophic this has been for the provincial government, made exponentially worse by Erin Selby's instinctive but immeasurably ill-conceived deflection attempts.<br />
<br />
The <a href="http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/manitoba/manitoba-sits-on-phoenix-sinclair-report-until-after-byelections-1.2490267">Phoenix</a> <a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/opinion/editorials/playing-phoenix-politics-239548081.html">Sinclair</a> <a href="http://www.winnipegsun.com/2014/01/15/damage-control-plain-and-simple-in-phoenix-sincair-report-delay">stalling</a> was bad enough -- and that was <i>really, really bad</i> -- but this is an almost unprecedented pushback; you almost never see a government directive so unanimously blasted from so many different directions, invididuals and groups eagerly queueing up to have their turn loudly denouncing it. And I had to write "almost" three times just now <i>because</i> of this government, what with the reaction the PST hike brought out of everyone.<br />
<br />
Against any sort of halfway-threatening challengers, this is an ongoing media nightmare that would absolutely spell the end of a government. Fortunately for the governing NDP, however, this is who they are up against:<br />
<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/local/pallisters-made-up-letter-enrages-ndp-officials-239547591.html">Winnipeg Free Press: Pallister's 'made up' letter enrages NDP officials</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/manitoba/manitoba-opposition-defends-queue-jumping-letter-1.2492067">CBC Manitoba: Manitoba opposition defends "queue-jumping" letter</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegsun.com/2014/01/17/pallister-stands-by-clearly-hypothetical-letter">Winnipeg Sun: Pallister stands by 'clearly hypothetical' letter</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://globalnews.ca/news/1090396/manitoba-opposition-plans-to-file-a-complaint-over-commemoration-of-womens-vote/">Global Winnipeg: Manitoba Opposition plans to file a complaint over commemoration of women’s vote</a> ]<br />
The Progressive Conservative Party of Manitoba's strategy meetings (pictured):<br />
<br />
<img src="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/jamesmayshotgun.gif" title="NO DON'T DON'T DON'T"><br />
<br />
Think of how massively, unprecedentedly unpopular the reigning NDP is at the moment; think of the vast, seemingly infinite selection of very real weaknesses that they've created for themselves over the past year alone. Think of the very strong factual cases and rational arguments that could be made against them, across a wide variety of subjects, any one of which could very plausibly sink the government. Think of the Premier's horrendous personal polling numbers, then try and think of anyone in his ranks who the public would better like or respect.<br />
<br />
The Progressive Conservatives, given all of that -- 'handed' is probably a better word, or 'gifted', <i>gifted</i> all of that -- the Progressive Conservatives decided that their best courses of action would be "LET'S MAKE UP A TALE BASED ON NOTHING" and "LET'S FIGHT AGAINST A CELEBRATION OF WOMEN". And then they went <i>back</i>, a full week later and seemingly unprompted, to reiterate "WE STAND BY THIS TALE BASED ON NOTHING" just in case everyone had forgotten about it.<br />
<br />
They are going to find a way to lose. It seems almost inevitable, doesn't it? Against all odds, against the strongest of tides, no matter the determination of the governing party to drop its anchor clean through the middle of its own boat, the Progressive Conservatives are going to find that perfect incomprehensible strategic miscue that'll snatch them second place all over again. Like last time. I don't know <i>how</i> they'll do it -- that's the fun of the journey over the destination, isn't it -- but by gum they're going to do it again somehow. It's guaranteed to be a spectacle, whatever it is.<br />
<br />
And speaking of guaranteed spectacles:<br />
<br />
[ <a href="http://aptn.ca/news/2014/01/09/aim-leader-visited-iran-now-grand-chief-manitoba-chiefs-organization/">APTN National News: AIM leader who visited Iran now grand chief of Manitoba chiefs organization</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/local/nelson-new-regional-chief-239548631.html">Winnipeg Free Press: Nelson new regional chief</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegsun.com/2014/01/09/tehran-terry-nelson-promises-real-change-as-new-head-of-southern-chiefs-organization">Winnipeg Sun: Tehran Terry Nelson promises real change as new head of Southern Chiefs Organization </a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.cjob.com/2014/01/09/20112/">680 CJOB: SCO Grand Chief Terry Nelson Has A Plan</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://globalnews.ca/news/1074210/controversial-activist-elected-head-of-southern-chiefs-in-manitoba/">Global Winnipeg: Controversial activist elected head of southern chiefs in Manitoba</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/breakingnews/now-this-is-going-to-be-interesting-239723391.html">Winnipeg Free Press: Now this is going to be interesting</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegsun.com/2014/01/17/nelson-needs-to-put-business-first">Winnipeg Sun: Nelson needs to put business first</a> ]<br />
I'd be willing to bet very good money that Terry Nelson has had <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YVkUvmDQ3HY">this</a> on constant, 24-hour loop in his iTunes for the last week. Just a playlist with one song on it, set to repeat.<br />
<br />
Note that Free Press column by Don Marks; he likens Nelson to now-deceased activist Nick Ternette, and warns that the newly-elected Grand Chief may be vastly more substantial than his reputation grants credit for. Suggesting he is but mad north-north-west, if you will.<br />
<br />
Stock phrases like "expect the unexpected" are generally safe fallbacks for this sort of news, but I for one am here to embrace the unexpected (as I do, I've noticed) and wholeheartedly welcome this development. Whatever else you may say about Terry Nelson, he's certainly never dull -- even if, as Quesnel wisely suggests, Nelson should recognize the need to maybe tone it down a little) -- and the ensuing discussions always end up being fascinating as well. So, yeah, I'm fully on board for this.<br />
<br />
It's going to get nutty! 2014 is already shaping up to be a wacky year, so let's check in on the arts and entertainment beat for a loopy yearlong project: <br />
<br />
[ <a href="http://jwilliamez52songs.blogspot.ca/2013/12/an-introduction-to-52-songs.html">J.Williamez: fifty-two songs: An Introduction to 52 Songs</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.chrisd.ca/2014/01/10/jwilliamez-52-songs-project-musician-comedian-winnipeg-video/">ChrisD.ca: Local Musician-Comedian Writing Songs for 52 Weeks</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://globalnews.ca/video/1085620/52-songs-in-52-weeks">Global National: 52 songs in 52 weeks</a> ]<br />
I waffled on whether to put this or <a href="http://www.winnipegsun.com/2014/01/10/welcome-to-your-winnipeg">Your Winnipeg</a> in this slot, but the former is off to the races already and the latter's first set of results haven't dropped yet, so I am managing the plugs accordingly.<br />
<br />
When I wrote "loopy" above this segment, I wasn't referring to the structure of the project; it is a sound and admirable undertaking, a challenge that J.Williamez will be stronger for having faced. No, I'm using "loopy" for the <i>content</i>, and bless him for it; I dig his delightfully askew material, both in song and in print, so I'm looking forward to following along as the project progresses through the year.<br />
<br />
And, finally, in travel:<br />
<br />
[ <a href="http://www.smh.com.au/travel/heart-of-the-prairie-20140108-30gj6.html">The Sydney Morning Herald Traveller: Heart of the prairie</a> ]<br />
Good news, everyone -- Australia thinks we're great! This is a warm and fuzzy whirlwind tour of the area, and it's nice to remind ourselves sometimes that our fair city seems really great to people who are not so intimately familiar with it. It's a nice place to visit, <i>and</i> we've already committed to living there!<br />
<br />
You know what I bet they'd be <i>really</i> impressed by, though? A laser pyramid. I'M JUST SAYING.<br />
<br />
Thank you for reading <a href="http://slurpeesandmurder.blogspot.ca/search/label/ManLinkWeek">ManLinkWeek</a>! Stay tuned, gentle readers: I had myself a heck of a Thursday this week, by the generosity of some kind folks, and I'm looking forward to telling you more about it next time here on Slurpees and Murder. I'll see you then!<p>James Hope Howardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18143628957923923335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35424944.post-32673239723227901912014-01-11T15:13:00.000-06:002014-01-11T16:12:46.364-06:00Manitoba Links Weekly: The City of Streetlights and Trees, The Production Values are Very Nice, Can I Please Just Have the Machine Garden, And Here's Spraypaint on a Snowbank (ManLinkWeek S02E12)<p><a href="https://twitter.com/CameraGuyKurt/status/420564498835963904/photo/1/large"><img src="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/20140108hellhasfrozenover.jpg" title="''HELL HAS FROZEN OVER'', spraypainted into a snowbank."></a><br />
<br />
Does anybody want to form a Winnipeg incarnation of Death Grips with me? I'll do the vocals, you do keyboard beats, it'll be great. And this -- obviously -- this will be our debut album cover. I am dead serious about all of this. [ <a href="http://twitter.com/CameraGuyKurt/status/420564498835963904/photo/1">via</a> ] <br />
<br />
Hello and welcome to <a href="http://slurpeesandmurder.blogspot.ca/search/label/ManLinkWeek">Manitoba Links Weekly</a>! There was no new episode of <a href="http://archives.winnipeginternetpundits.com/">Winnipeg Internet Pundits</a> this week due to illness -- mine specifically, because I was the kind of seasonally ill that I'd hate to have exposed anyone else to -- but next week should be a good show, I figure.<br />
<br />
Onward to <a href="http://slurpeesandmurder.blogspot.ca/search/label/ManLinkWeek">ManLinkWeek</a>! <br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
[ <a href="http://winnipegcat.blogspot.ca/2014/01/january-9th-2014.html">Winnipeg Cat: JANUARY 9th, 2014</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegsun.com/2014/01/09/one-angry-city">Winnipeg Sun: One Angry City</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/manitoba/is-winnipeg-failing-as-a-winter-city-1.2490828">CBC Manitoba: Is Winnipeg failing as a winter city?</a> ]<br />
You really wouldn't logically expect the election lead-up year to be the year that absolutely everything comes unglued, and yet, here we are.<br />
<br />
I spent the year's opening extended minus-thirty-five colder-than-the-North-Pole death march sick in bed, with a flat tire on my car (now since resealed), and considered myself oddly lucky for it; having nowhere to go and no wheels to get there meant that I got to skip direct exposure to the vehicle-grinding hellscape calamity that opened the year, unplowed thoroughfares moulding and hardening into dangerous ridged launchpads of determinism. Better to hide out at home, alternating between warm tea and wet coughing fits, watching tempers flare and accidents pile up remotely through social media (and there was a real missed opportunity for a Storify in there, I think, because one could've shown off an easy seven figures' worth of damage through Twitter photos alone).<br />
<br />
The fatalism of lining up one's first or second most expensive possession into the deep ruts that nature and time have laid out, hoping -- often in vain! -- that the unalterable rollercoasters won't fling those prized automobiles clear off the roads or straight into each other, seemed for obvious reasons to wear on people a little. Justin Swandel <i>also</i> seemed to wear on people, as that extensive Winnipeg Cat link collection above tracks, but let's leave him aside and focus on the bigger picture for the moment.<br />
<br />
What <i>does</i> Winnipeg, as a city, do well? What can we hold up as a shining example of competence, something that the municipal level of government can boast as a strength? It <a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/opinion/columnists/snow-job-or-just-new-reality-239209131.html"><i>used</i> to be snow clearing</a>; for how deeply Winnipeggers depend on our disproportionately vast roadway system to get from one place to another (our transit file a ball being dropped in perpetuity), the city's role was to make travel in minus-twenty and beyond as relatively painless as possible. If you could get your car started in the minus-thirty -- no guarantees, never any guarantees -- you could look forward to getting somewhere warm in one piece; Winnipeg could not afford to be a city that shuts down when it gets cold, knowing how often that cold arrives.<br />
<br />
So much for that, of course. So what <i>does</i> Winnipeg do well? Garbage is <a href="http://www.cjob.com/2014/01/10/garbage-crews-still-catching-up-streets-update/">still behind</a>, not caught up once this year; 311 remains, as ever, some sort of elaborate ongoing practical joke. Former users of Sherbrook Pool or the Civic Parkade -- and anyone interested in pieces of architectural heritage like the Public Safety Building -- can confirm that upkeep on our shared public facilities ranges somewhere between insufficient and nonexistent. An overview of our water infrastructure challenges and deficits would drive a person to drink, which is just as well because the tap water looks like flat beer a distressing portion of the time.<br />
<br />
Roads you can't drive on; garbage and recycling you can't have picked up; public facilities you can't use; water that you can't drink or bathe in, from mains that might break <a href="http://www.cjob.com/2014/01/03/19343/">ten times</a> <a href="http://winnipeg.ctvnews.ca/laxdal-road-water-main-back-in-service-after-latest-break-fixed-1.1618593">a week</a>. Just barely adequate transit coverage, at ever increasing prices, for reasons we don't even bother trying to justify any more. Libraries that don't exist on Wednesdays, curbs we'll fix <a href="http://www.winnipegsun.com/2013/12/29/stuck-waiting-on-the-curb">two decades from now if we're lucky</a> -- hell, summer splash pads are just turning on a hose when it gets hot out, and the City rather famously couldn't get <i>that</i> right.<br />
<br />
Are we failing as a winter city? We're failing <i>as a city</i>. It's legitimately maddening, particularly as someone who genuinely wants his hometown to succeed; I want a city I can <i>recommend</i> to people, or at least a city I don't have to actively warn people against.<br />
<br />
It's usually crime that Winnipeggers warn other people against, but then we walk that back by saying, oh, well, there's crime <i>every</i>where. Right? Enough people still drive down to the States or vacation in Mexico that it's easy to shrug crime off, because people are willing to ignore such things. Water you shouldn't risk drinking and roads you shouldn't risk driving? Rather thornier. Not necessarily <i>tourism</i> dealbreakers -- again, Mexico -- but not sales points of a place you'd want to <i>move</i> to, either. That's the thing; we need people, but all the other cities need people too, and in the grand competition for new residents we don't have many matchups we're winning.<br />
<br />
So back to the question. What do we succeed at? Well... the streetlights mostly stay on. That's something, isn't it? That was the point where people got really alarmist about Detroit, that oh no, they don't even have <i>streetlights</i>. So that's a point in our favour, that generally at night we can still see where we're going. (It's a shame "City of Lights" is already taken.)<br />
<br />
Trees! We've been solid on our trees, that deserves credit, the trees are a good selling point. The city's <a href="http://www.winnipegsun.com/2013/12/03/city-to-spend-1-million-on-trees">sticking with them</a>, and I've seen some people complain about it -- well heaven's sakes, everything else is so strapped, why're we spending money on <i>trees</i> -- but oh my god if we ever lose those trees we are <i>done</i>. Winnipeg saved and preserved its leafy cover on a continent where most cities willingly rid themselves of it at the first sign of trouble, so we need to protect that character as closely as we can. Put all your eggs in one basket, and then <i><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ghb4jKoscLs">watch that basket</a></i>.<br />
<br />
And, uh... hmm. Well, that's a full city right there, right? For everything else we've bungled, we have our trees and our streetlights still. A proud legacy! Winnipeg is The Arrogant Worms' "<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YAIOgAAX07k">Rocks and Trees</a>", but without the rocks.<br />
<br />
<i>We've got lights and trees, and trees and lights,<br />
and lights and trees, and trees and lights,<br />
and lights and trees, and trees and lights,<br />
and lights and trees, and trees and lights and--<br />
a chopperrrrr~</i><br />
<br />
Anyway, <a href="http://www.winnipegsun.com/2014/01/10/brown-water-pouring-from-winnipeg-taps">here's some more brown water</a>. Moving on!<br />
<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/local/going-shallow-238755941.html">Winnipeg Free Press: Politicians used to try to make a splash; now they're more focused on splash pads</a> ]<br />
Today's blog post is shaping up to be municipally- rather than provincially-focused, not for <i>lack</i> of provincial happenings, but rather because there are so many of the damn things going on right now that they're really going to overwhelm the next post. So here's a Mary Agnes Welch overview that touches on <i>all</i> levels of government, and we'll just say for now that the provincial sphere has since become a little... messier. <br />
<br />
Speaking of messy:<br />
<br />
[ <a href="http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/manitoba/trevor-dineen-when-a-good-deed-goes-bad-1.2487746">CBC Manitoba Blog: Trevor Dineen: When a good deed goes bad</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegsun.com/2014/01/07/the-incredible-journey--a-sun-columnists-extended-road-trip">Winnipeg Sun: The Incredible Journey — a Sun columnist's extended road trip</a> ]<br />
<a href="http://slurpeesandmurder.blogspot.ca/2014/01/manitoba-links-weekly-im-cold-there.html">Last week</a>, we'd all followed an outside correspondent having a nightmare of a time trying to make a Winnipeg story work. So this week, here's a story about a <i>local</i> correspondent having a nightmare of a time trying to make a Winnipeg story work, and also here's a story about a local correspondent having a nightmare of a time trying to make an <i>outside</i> story work. <br />
<br />
It's just been that kind of 2014 for everybody so far, man. A messy year. An unusually messy, unusually frigid, unusually frustrating year. Just the time for some light escapism!<br />
<br />
[ <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s2pkON8Hsgg">windcitytv YouTube: WindCity Episode 1 - Winnipeg's comedy series</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/multimedia/windcity/">Winnipeg Free Press: WindCity - a new Winnipeg comedy series</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/manitoba/innovative-web-based-comedy-series-launches-in-winnipeg-1.2487896">Innovative web-based comedy series launches in Winnipeg</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/arts-and-life/entertainment/TV/blowing-up-239380571.html">Winnipeg Free Press: Blowing up</a> ]<br />
y'know what, on second thought, uh<br />
<br />
Okay, listen: they're trying. I want to be supportive about this, because I think the concept is a neat one, and I like that they're trying something unusual and different. It has very strong production values! It has very good musical selections. The writing is... not to my... <i>taste</i> -- these seemed to me like some seriously, untenably unlikeable characters -- but you will probably take to it more than I did, so give the first episode a watch and see what you make of it.<br />
<br />
Manitoba Public Insurance and Manitoba Liquor & Lotteries are the highest-level backers of the project, though their exact dollar support is unknown (and will most likely remain as such, inevitable FIPPA requests aside); RRC, Royal Bank and the Convention Centre are the tier below that, and then there's a little cluster of public and private firms who most likely kicked in for location filming and other considerations.<br />
<br />
Being sponsor-driven, it stands to reason that the supporters all had their input, which makes for a fun little game of its own; you'd figure that Royal Bank, for example, told them something like "Have the characters interact with one of our fun, friendly and fashionable RBC advisors! Nothing makes her happier than giving financial advice!" Which is a reasonable request, right, that's doable. So how d'you figure that Shark Club scene evolved with Manitoba Liquor & Lotteries?<br />
<br />
"We think you should have a character pouring his money into a VLT and staring in morose frustration. You can do that, right?"<br />
"...Yes. Sure, we can do that."<br />
"And he should be really sad inside."<br />
"Uh."<br />
"Like, <i>overwhelmingly</i> sad. Could you have him lash out at people he knows, too? Just have him be a real shitlord to somebody who drops by to say hi."<br />
"uh"<br />
<br />
Sparkling scenery and unlikeable people strikes me as the diametric opposite of the Winnipeg I'm familiar with, but then, I recognize that I'm not really the audience. And the lead character'll most likely soften in future episodes, the story being pitched as a later-life Bildungsroman and all, so I am entirely willing to give the remainder of the six-part series a fair chance. If nothing else, it'll be important to make sure that all of the canon details are as fully established as possible before the fanfiction drops. <br />
<br />
(Someone out there among you better beat me to the fanfiction, man. Don't think I won't do it.)<br />
<br />
So that's something to look forward to! And speaking of things to look forward t--(<font size="1">whisper whisper</font>)--what? Oh. Well:<br />
<br />
[ <a href="http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/manitoba/24-storey-tower-ok-d-for-old-winnipeg-pumphouse-1.2485449">CBC Manitoba: 24-storey tower OK'd for old Winnipeg pumphouse</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://jameshoddinott.com/2014/01/08/a-leap-of-faith/">James W Hoddinott: A Leap of Faith</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/local/tower-designer-not-licensed-239548911.html">Winnipeg Free Press: Tower designer not licensed</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://tessavanderhart.wordpress.com/2014/01/10/boosterism-busywork-blinded-us-on-pumping-station/">Urbicolous: Boosterism, busywork blinded us on pumping station</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegsun.com/2014/01/10/pumping-station-backer-never-claimed-to-be-an-architect">Winnipeg Sun: Pumping station backer never claimed to be an architect</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/breakingnews/towers-opponents-can-relax-239723581.html">Winnipeg Free Press: Tower's opponents can relax</a> ]<br />
It's been a messy year, man. Nothing's ever simple.<br />
<br />
The contentious decision to allow a 24-storey tower on the James Avenue Pumping Station site -- preserving and incorporating the historic facade, at the cost of the scale altering whatever Waterfront Drive considers its neighbourhood character -- got that little extra bit messier after the fact when folks began sniffing around the lead project presenter's architectural credentials and found... well, not what they were looking for, let's put it that way.<br />
<br />
The controversy plays well into oppositional arguments -- that the City's decision to support the variance is flawed because the City has a record of perilous ineptitude with preliminary blueprints <i>and</i> with architect blueprint stamps (2013 was a messy year too) -- but when people then wondered how the variance was approved without licensed engineer approval, it emerged that stamped drawings <a href="http://www.cjob.com/2014/01/10/20219/">aren't actually necessary at this phase anyway</a>. Nobody had looked for it because it wasn't something that had to be looked for. Which sounds fair enough, really, when you look at it that way.<br />
<br />
Anyway. It seems less convincing now that the project will come to pass, which I felt was sort of too bad; it represents an attempt to preserve at least <i>part</i> of the historic building, and I am an easy sell on anything that would dramatically improve the availability of rental properties in an area and a city that desperately needs them, but what I <i>really</i> supported was that pitch about a machine garden. Go back to that CBC article, read that again -- doesn't that sound great? I want a machine garden, now. This has awakened a desire in me that I was previously unaware of.<br />
<br />
If this whole tower thing falls through -- I am being optimistic and going with "if", perennial character flaw on my part -- can we please just do whatever needs to be done to get that machine garden going? The restaurant space part is brilliant, just have huge crowds of steampunk enthusiasts eating sandwiches shaped like gears or whatever and then frolicking amidst the machinery. Move some of the machinery outside, too! Since some of it'd need to come out for space purposes no matter <i>what</i> goes in there -- I presume that's a service CentreVenture'd be willing to offer in the name of making the sale -- move the worst-condition pieces out into a more traditional park setting, so you have a full machine garden inside and a hybrid plant-machine garden outside. <br />
<br />
I want this so badly, now. I feel emptier for its continued absence, a daily reminder that we do not live in the best of all possible worlds. And, because you knew I wouldn't be able to resist, I've just checked: "Machine Garden", to my surprise and delight, <i>is not yet a band name</i>. SO IF ANYONE WANTS TO FORM A DEATH GRIPS-STYLE BAND JUST LET ME KNOW<br />
<br />
[ <a href="https://twitter.com/UpWinni">Twitter: UpWinni (@UpWinni)</a> ]<br />
Here are Winnipeg things written as Upworthy headlines. I did that wrong, didn't I? I just up and gave the whole thing away, I'm supposed to withhold just enough information to tease you into clicking it. Okay, hang on. Once You See This One Twitter Account, You'll... Change the... hmm. Until I Saw This Feed, I Didn't Know That There... There Could, uh... dang. Here're Two Great Tastes That Go Great Together? <br />
<br />
Man, I don't know, I'm bad at internet. Here are Winnipeg things written as Upworthy headlines. Or Upworthy headlines written as Winnipeg things. Something like that, you'll get the idea.<br />
<br />
And, finally:<br />
<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegisnerdy.com/baselan-returns-for-its-26th-incarnation/">Winnipeg Is Nerdy: BaseLAN returns for its 26th incarnation</a> ] <br />
[ <a href="http://www.allyourbaseonline.com/ca/forum/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=24612&sid=c70802b366f21673673aa1e1a307ea5b">All Your Base Online: BaseLAN 26 January 10, 2014 - January 12, 2014</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.chipdamage.com/forums/discussion/980/baselan-26-january-10th-12th-2014">Chip Damage: BaseLAN 26 - January 10th-12th 2014</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="https://www.facebook.com/events/366420290157689/">Facebook Events: BaseLAN 26</a> ]<br />
It's that time of year again! Your boy was there last night and clawed his way to third place in the King of Fighters tournament, and today's another big day <strike>of games I'm less interested in because none of them are Virtua Fighter</strike>! It'll doubtlessly continue to be a fun weekend, and I'm glad to be over the seasonal flu to go out and enjoy it.<br />
<br />
Thank you for reading <a href="http://slurpeesandmurder.blogspot.ca/search/label/ManLinkWeek">ManLinkWeek</a>! I'm actually a little surprised by how much I had to leave <i>out</i> of this week's post -- I told myself seven topics a week, I'm a-stickin' to it -- but next week is going to have a whole lot of provincial stories, all of them various degrees of worrisome. So look forward to that!<p>James Hope Howardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18143628957923923335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35424944.post-87690951376579407342014-01-04T23:28:00.000-06:002014-01-11T02:45:30.042-06:00Manitoba Links Weekly: I'm Cold (There There), Maybe 2014 Won't Suck, An Industrial-Looking Heart in the Sky, and Here's an Anthropomorphic Cartoon Lady-Perogy Praising Jesus (ManLinkWeek S02E11)<p><a href="http://twitter.com/joeolafson/status/418110450220273664/photo/1/large"><img src="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/saveusperogyjesus20131231.jpg" title="D'you think she means regular Jesus, or is there like a PEROGY Jesus? This is going to keep me up nights." width="500" height="500"></a><br />
<br />
Thus far I've spent the New Year increasingly debilitated by a seasonal cold-flu-something -- sweats and chills and coughing fits and sapped strength and the whole kit-'n'-kaboodle -- and in my intermittent bouts of mild feverish delirium, there are times when I am forced to question whether something is real or imagined. You can imagine the trouble that I am having right now with this picture.<br />
<br />
But no, it's real, and it's spectacular: CTV News producer <a href="https://twitter.com/joeolafson">Joe Olafson</a> took this photograph at the corner of McPhillips & Aberdeen, and it really is quite the fascinating smorgasbord of intrinsically Winnipeggian character notes. [ <a href="http://twitter.com/joeolafson/status/418110450220273664">via</a> ]<br />
<br />
Happy New Year, everyone, and welcome to <a href="http://slurpeesandmurder.blogspot.ca/search/label/ManLinkWeek">Manitoba Links Weekly</a>! For the coming of the new year and the passing of the old I'd written <a href="http://slurpeesandmurder.blogspot.ca/2013/12/156-lines-about-26-letters-your-local.html">a year-end retrospective poem</a>, as one does, as you do. <br />
<br />
So welcome to the new year! Talking about the weather may not sound like the most exciting way to kick off the year's first <a href="http://slurpeesandmurder.blogspot.ca/search/label/ManLinkWeek">ManLinkWeek</a>, but oh, it's been a special kind of weather:<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
[ <a href="http://globalnews.ca/news/1055467/united-airlines-cancels-flights-into-winnipeg-due-to-cold/">Global Winnipeg: United Airlines cancels Winnipeg flights due to cold</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/manitoba/winnipeg-deep-freeze-as-cold-as-uninhabited-planet-1.2479967">CBC Manitoba: Winnipeg deep freeze as cold as uninhabited planet</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegsun.com/2013/12/31/winnipeg-experiences-coldest-december-day-in-80-years">Winnipeg Sun: Colder than Mars, colder than the North Pole — and Winnipeg isn’t warming up any time soon</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://ca.news.yahoo.com/blogs/geekquinox/frigid-winnipeg-temperatures-reach-cold-planet-mars-204225571.html">Geekquinox (Yahoo! News): Frigid Winnipeg temperatures reach as cold as the planet Mars</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/local/vehicles-stuck-in-frozen-traffic-jam-238408491.html">Winnipeg Free Press: Vehicles stuck in frozen traffic jam</a> ]<br />
So just how cold has it been lately? Cold enough that windchill maps are just <a href="https://twitter.com/ColleenCTV/status/417739348147052544/photo/1">a big solid-colour Manitoba shape</a>. Cold enough that airplanes refused to fly here; cold enough that cars froze to the pavement. Cold enough that weather on other planets ceases to seem like an abstraction, and that <a href="http://imgur.com/Wpl03jJ">the North Pole looks comparatively warm</a>. Cold enough that NONE OF THOSE JUST NOW WERE JOKES.<br />
<br />
(And yet, despite all that, the province's basin-pumping activities have meant <a href="http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/manitoba/forks-river-trail-not-frozen-enough-for-skaters-officials-say-1.2482377">no river trail</a> so far this winter. We just can't have nice things.)<br />
<br />
Bartley Kives had written last month -- last year, now, I suppose -- that Winnipeg should <a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/opinion/columnists/weve-got-winter-lets-show-it-off-235698711.html">embrace the tourism opportunities of its chilly character</a>, because we may as well make the most of winter if we're going to stubbornly continue having it each year. I am all for this! Now, occasionally not being able to fly in, that may <i>seem</i> like a drawback at first -- and we've been having some trouble with <a href="http://www.winnipegsun.com/2013/12/23/train-passengers-stuck-for-19-hours">train</a> <a href="">travel</a>, too, lately -- but I think, really, that just adds that certain special exclusivity to the tourism draw of it. Right? A rare and unparalleled experience that may require going a ways out of one's way, braving the danger of the unbeaten path in the name of a story to tell later.<br />
<br />
Incidentally:<br />
<br />
[ <a href="http://blogs.buffalonews.com/sabres/2013/12/the-quest-to-get-to-the-peg-continues.html">Sabres Edge (The Buffalo News): The quest to get to The Peg continues</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegsun.com/2014/01/01/sabres-writer-finally-able-to-end-winnipeg-ordeal">Winnipeg Sun: Sabres writer finally able to end Winnipeg ordeal</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://globalnews.ca/news/1058496/sports-reporter-endures-epic-nightmare-trip-to-cover-winnipeg-jets/">Global Winnipeg: Sports reporter endures epic nightmare trip to cover Winnipeg Jets</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://blogs.buffalonews.com/sabres/2014/01/travel-travails-.html">Sabres Edge (The Buffalo News): Travelogue update: Make the snow stop in Buffalo, please!</a> ]<br />
Oh, goodness. The adventure! The drama! Generally more welcomed when one seeks them out, rather than the other way around, but that'll happen with travel sometimes.<br />
<br />
The important thing is that -- even when it isn't <i>easy</i> to get people here -- we believe sure as shootin' that it's worth the trip to be here; all we have to do is get people into the city and, by gum, the magic of Winnipeg wins them right over. <br />
<br />
<iframe class="vine-embed" src="https://vine.co/v/hVreAAda96i/embed/postcard" width="480" height="480" frameborder="0"></iframe><script async src="//platform.vine.co/static/scripts/embed.js" charset="utf-8"></script><br />
<br />
"<i>Three trips later, I do wonder how so many people actually inhabit The Peg.</i>"<br />
"<i><a href="http://twitter.com/BNHarrington/status/418188042512240640">Driving is terrible</a>. A bumpy obstacle course. Frozen solid.</i>"<br />
"<i>This is absolutely the coldest weather I’ve ever experienced in my life</i>[.]"<br />
"<i>The weather was just horrific and the roads are awful. It’s embarrassing, I don’t know how a winter city can operate like this.</i>"<br />
"<i>Who plows your roads?</i>"<br />
<br />
And funny he should ask, in fact! The pride and joy of our humble metropolis, our city services are a-hummin' along just as smoothly as they ev--<br />
<br />
[ <a href="http://cnews.canoe.ca/CNEWS/WeirdNews/2013/12/29/21363831.html">canoe.ca: Winnipeg man told curb will get fixed in 2032</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/local/plowing-jobs-redundant-councillor-238203931.html">Winnipeg Free Press: Plowing jobs redundant: councillor</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/manitoba/winnipeg-motorists-stuck-with-icy-bumpy-roads-after-storm-1.2479564">CBC Manitoba: Winnipeg motorists stuck with icy, bumpy roads after storm</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://winnipeg.ctvnews.ca/city-s-road-clearing-plans-do-not-include-residential-streets-1.1613273">CTV Winnipeg: City's road clearing plans do not include residential streets</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegsun.com/2014/01/02/city-behind-on-trash-recycling-collection">Winnipeg Sun: City behind on trash, recycling collection</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.cjob.com/2014/01/03/water-main-breaks-still-an-issue-in-maples-charleswood/">680 CJOB: Water Main Breaks Still An Issue in Maples, Charleswood</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://winnipeg.ctvnews.ca/charleswood-residents-now-six-days-without-water-1.1616840">CTV Winnipeg: Charleswood residents now six days without water</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/manitoba/some-winnipeggers-lose-water-service-for-9th-time-in-week-1.2482771">CBC Manitoba: Some Winnipeggers lose water service for 9th time in week</a> ]<br />
--well, never mind how they're going. Let's look ahead to 2014, shall we?<br />
<br />
[ <a href="http://johndobbin.blogspot.ca/2014/01/predictions-for-2014-in-winnipeg-part-1.html">Observations, Reservations, Conversations: Predictions for 2014 in Winnipeg Part 1</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://johndobbin.blogspot.ca/2014/01/predictions-for-2014-in-winnipeg-part-2.html">Observations, Reservations, Conversations: Predictions for 2014 in Winnipeg Part 2</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://aroundthistown.ca/2014/01/02/2014-peg-city-predictions/">Around This Town: 2014 Peg-city Predictions</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://notethetime.wordpress.com/2014/01/03/winnipeg-2014-food-trends-to-watch-for/">Note the Time: Winnipeg 2014: Food trends to watch for</a> ]<br />
Yes, folks, another exciting year ahead of us! The big local news attraction will be the October civic election, preceded by the mad scramble to finalize candidacies at the end of April, but there's a whole self-contained little universe of other interesting considerations as we move forward through 2014. So many questions to ponder!<br />
<br />
What will the City do with the Public Safety Building space? (Vacate it at the first opportunity, pretend it doesn't exist, and hope it falls down.) Who will be the next big breakout recording artist out of Manitoba? (<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=drPSdOQwT6o">Joe Stover</a>.) Will the Winnipeg Jets make a playoff run? (No.) Will the Winnipeg Blue Bombers win the Grey Cup? (No.) Will the Goldey--(lol, the goldeyes, c'mon man) Local food'll be good, though, right? (Yeah, food'll be good.) Good! Ahh, the promise of a new year.<br />
<br />
Hey, who wants some Hydro news? No no, <i>good</i> Hydro news! I know, that's weird.<br />
<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegsun.com/2013/12/25/living-up-to-friendly-manitoba-moniker-hydro-workers-efforts-leave-torontonians-dancing-in-the-street">Winnipeg Sun: Living up to 'Friendly Manitoba' moniker: Hydro workers' efforts leave Torontonians dancing in the street</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/manitoba/manitoba-hydro-workers-warmly-welcomed-in-icy-toronto-1.2476512">CBC Manitoba: Manitoba Hydro workers warmly welcomed in icy Toronto</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.thestar.com/news/gta/2013/12/30/ice_storm_hydro_workers_from_across_the_country_skip_christmas_to_help.html">Toronto Star: Ice storm: Hydro workers from across the country skip Christmas to help</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/breakingnews/Hydro-workers-return-home-238317631.html">Winnipeg Free Press: Hydro workers return home</a> ]<br />
I <i>could</i> be cynical about the whole thing and say that Manitoba Hydro's most successful export is people -- true of the province as a whole, really, in'nt -- but I'm too busy being warmed and delighted by the quotes chosen for these stories. These would be some very dry tellings otherwise, and I've left out a variety of relevant links without quotes that were very dry indeed, but the more character pull you get from the individual workers the more it feels like a heartwarming Canadian mythology. Just a bunch of Manitoba workers rolling up unexpectedly and solving problems, right across this great land of ours, a folksy-wisdom hallucinatory Tim Hortons canister mural come to life.<br />
<br />
"<i>This is what we do. Forty-two men volunteered and we could have had a lot more.</i>"<br />
"<i>We've had from people crying to people dancing to people hugging the guys to bringing out doughnuts. Lots of people are happy, taking pictures with the guys, so it's all good.</i> (. . .) <i>We use Toronto Hydro trucks so we've had a few guys screaming at our guys and asking where we were five days ago. Once they find out we’re from Manitoba they are really appreciative.</i>"<br />
"<i>I was thinking on the way home that maybe we’ll have a Ukrainian Christmas this year.</i>"<br />
<br />
My favourite of the batch, because how could it not be, is from this section of the Toronto Star article listed above:<br />
<br />
<i>They may think we’re a bit strange, but that hasn’t stopped them from travelling across the province and the country to help us out in our time of need.</i><br />
<br />
<i>When crew supervisor Marvin Roos from Dauphin, Manitoba was out reconnecting houses in Scarborough Bluffs on Christmas Day, an Italian man emerged from his house with a hot drink.</i><br />
<br />
<i>"He came out with some sort of strange coffee — what do you call it, espresso or something? Boy, was it strong stuff!" Roos said.</i><br />
<br />
If you don't think this is just adorable, I don't even know what to do with you. Is this not the finest small-town perfection you've read all week? This is Kate Beaton's Dad as Hydro crew supervisor, and I love it to pieces. Just to bits.<br />
<br />
The Toronto Star writer, perhaps also caught up in the spirit, ends the news article with a bit of found poetry:<br />
<br />
"<i>They parked their two Toronto Hydro trucks nose to nose, exposing a Manitoba Hydro logo drawn in the dirt on one, and raised the cranes. The arms extended, elbows pointing in opposite directions, forming an industrial-looking heart in the sky.</i>"<br />
<br />
AUGH WHY IS NO ONE ALLOWED TO WRITE LIKE THAT HERE. Just that little extra narrative flourish, that's all I ask, we really don't need much here to keep us going. Winnipeg is the greatest magical-realism noir the world never realized it wanted, we can stand to let loose a flash of colour here and there when we explain it to people.<br />
<br />
<font size="1">(pauses, makes genre notes, continues)</font><br />
<br />
[ <a href="http://a-portrait-a-day-2013.tumblr.com/post/71897739093/12-31-2013-mike-lipnowski-6-13pm-winnipeg">2013: A PORTRAIT A DAY - David Lipnowski Photography: 12/31/2013 - Mike Lipnowski - 6:13PM - Winnipeg, Canada</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://metronews.ca/news/winnipeg/898438/winnipeg-photographer-completes-ambitious-portrait-project/">Metro Winnipeg: Winnipeg photographer completes ambitious portrait project</a> ]<br />
Congratulations to local photographer David Lipnowski on completing his ambitious 365-day portrait photography project! He notes in the final entry that he'll soon post a retrospective of the project's successes and challenges; in the meantime, you should make plans to settle in with something warm to drink and explore the <a href="http://a-portrait-a-day-2013.tumblr.com/archive">full archive</a> of his work over the year.<br />
<br />
And, finally:<br />
<br />
[ <a href="http://www.chrisd.ca/2014/01/03/jewel-101-fm-winnipeg-radio-light-rock/">ChrisD.ca: Jewel 101 Debuts on Winnipeg’s Airwaves</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://staging.thebreezefm.ca/">Jewel 101 FM: Lite & Refreshing</a> ]<br />
The following, cropped but otherwise unaltered in any way, is a screenshot from the Jewel 101 FM main site.<br />
<br />
<img src="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/jewel101screenshot20140104.jpg" title="OF COURSE COMIC SANS"><br />
<br />
I'm going to let it speak for itself.<br />
<br />
Thank you for reading <a href="http://slurpeesandmurder.blogspot.ca/search/label/ManLinkWeek">ManLinkWeek</a>, and Happy New Year!<p>James Hope Howardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18143628957923923335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35424944.post-58215081319132353502013-12-31T19:44:00.001-06:002013-12-31T19:44:42.850-06:00156 Lines About 26 Letters: Your Local 2013 in Review<p>This is a thing that I do, sometimes. Once a year, say, give or take. This is a <a href="http://slurpeesandmurder.blogspot.ca/2010/12/156-lines-about-26-letters-winnipeg.html">thing</a> <a href="http://slurpeesandmurder.blogspot.ca/2011/12/156-lines-about-26-letters-your-local.html">that</a> <a href="http://slurpeesandmurder.blogspot.ca/2013/01/156-lines-about-26-letters-your-local.html">happens</a>.<br />
<br />
You and yours have a safe and happy New Year's tonight, and I hope that you will enjoy:<br />
<br />
<i>156 Lines About 26 Letters: Your Local 2013 in Review</i>.<br />
<br />
<b>[---]</b><br />
<br />
<font size="4"><b>A</b></font> is for Audit, the fire hall brief<br />
that ended both a CAO and a Chief;<br />
though its Arrival took a lengthy vacation,<br />
it blew quite a hole in our Administration.<br />
For how long they'd delayed in hopes we'd forgot it,<br />
one really could not have asked more of the Audit.<br />
<br />
<font size="4"><b>B</b></font> is for Blueprints, doctored when Bought;<br />
in a vast web the home Buyers were caught<br />
when the inspector claiming their plans certified<br />
also went through his own company on the side.<br />
When a conflict of interest inquiry was led,<br />
the inspector in question retired instead.<br />
<br />
<font size="4"><b>C</b></font> is for Centreport, swiftly improving--<br />
just two more years 'til it maybe starts moving!<br />
It straddles two RMs; the Province has banned<br />
the City from simply annexing the land.<br />
In striking a waste plan success was implied,<br />
but they still can't run water on the Rosser side.<br />
<br />
<font size="4"><b>D</b></font> for Delete, as a web owner might;<br />
y'know that "Responsible Winnipeg" site?<br />
A 'grassroots' lobby, council'd later decry it<br />
when its ownership traced back to Katz and Russ Wyatt.<br />
The site's now Deleted -- which is too bad, because<br />
we'll never know what "Another Initiative" was.<br />
<br />
<font size="4"><b>E</b></font> for Employees; the City has many,<br />
but when asked for numbers we can't produce any.<br />
Pressed for an official staffing amount,<br />
Mike Ruta said it'd take two months to count.<br />
Could be in the millions! Could be in the tens!<br />
Awkward for the budgets on which this depen's.<br />
<br />
<font size="4"><b>F</b></font> for Fringe Fest, where this year the plays<br />
most Famously Featured some ass mayonnaise;<br />
each year seems to bring more bizarre escalation<br />
in the struggle for key word-of-mouth motivation.<br />
When scoping out shows, 'tis usually best<br />
to just smile and nod politely at the Fringe Fest.<br />
<br />
<font size="4"><b>G</b></font> is for Gaming Centre; not a casino!<br />
Oh, it may offer blackjack and roulette and Keno<br />
but when First Nations wanted casinos, we'd stated<br />
no more because Winnipeg's too saturated.<br />
True North's 'Gaming Centre', though -- just the right fix!<br />
It's not favouritism, it's just... linguistics.<br />
<br />
<font size="4"><b>H</b></font> is for Harvey, the Smith everpresent,<br />
delighting in making his peers' lives unpleasant<br />
by impishly doling ward allowance treats,<br />
by cheering Joe Chan and by renaming streets.<br />
On t-shirts they print him, in pumpkins they carve he--<br />
most lucky for folks trying to rhyme things with "Harvey".<br />
<br />
<font size="4"><b>I</b></font> for Ignorance of do-gooder whites,<br />
and Infidel Atheist awkward soundbytes;<br />
an IG Field launch that clogged every road,<br />
Inner-city centres left to implode<br />
and that one burst of Swandel wisdom to live by:<br />
"blah blah I me-me I, me-me I I."<br />
<br />
<font size="4"><b>J</b></font> is for Jurors, twelve people in all<br />
who were grabbed around lunchtime at Cityplace mall;<br />
rare statutes allow for sheriffs to so trouble you,<br />
should you be in line at that one A&W.<br />
Only one was needed, so don't be unnerved;<br />
this wasn't how Justice is usually served.<br />
<br />
<font size="4"><b>K</b></font> is for Keyser, who chided the mayor<br />
for bad politics and ethical beha'iour;<br />
despite this, to depose him she found no basis,<br />
largely 'cause Chan filed in all the wrong ways-es.<br />
And with that decision she put down her foot,<br />
rend'ring Joe Chan's case and budget Kaput.<br />
<br />
<font size="4"><b>L</b></font> for the Liberal Leadership race,<br />
marked by internal outrage and disgrace<br />
that a fake Bob Axworthy Twitter should exist;<br />
no one seemed to care, but it hurt, they insist.<br />
When a parody Twitter is the most that folks know,<br />
there's nowhere but up for your party to go.<br />
<br />
<font size="4"><b>M</b></font> for Mayoral, a living Museum<br />
of candidates crowding to make sure you see 'em.<br />
Bowman, Fielding, Havixbeck, Orlikow,<br />
Steeves, Wasylycia-Leis -- and still you know<br />
even more names may yet emerge, in the event<br />
the Mayor's polling stays around twenty percent.<br />
<br />
<font size="4"><b>N</b></font> is for Ninety, our main airport Route,<br />
a most fascinatingly ugly commute<br />
but Nothing, the Commerce Chamber did resolve,<br />
that seven million bucks of fence wouldn't solve!<br />
Their Chamber Way, alas, was proposed in vain,<br />
so we'll still have to see those two blocks of back lane.<br />
<br />
<font size="4"><b>O</b></font> is for Overrun; it's bad advice<br />
to promise a "Guaranteed Maximum Price"<br />
when the claim's accuracy is sorely diminished<br />
by learning the blueprints weren't yet one-third finished.<br />
Our new police HQ still nowhere near done,<br />
thus far it's an $80-million Overrun.<br />
<br />
<font size="4"><b>P</b></font> for the Provincial tax, PST,<br />
a wound self-inflicted by the NDP --<br />
support for the hike perhaps partly impeded<br />
when they couldn't commit to a reason it's needed.<br />
The Public thus far has declared this as folly,<br />
the worst Polling seen by the Party since Pawley.<br />
<br />
<font size="4"><b>Q</b></font> for how Quietly city heads left;<br />
a vanishing Taz left the townsfolk bereft.<br />
We've still no straight answers why Douglas was fired,<br />
or Sheegl paid $240K once "retired";<br />
Winnipeg's elevated to an art<br />
its conspicuous Quiet when top brass depart.<br />
<br />
<font size="4"><b>R</b></font> for Ray Rybachuk, quite the newsmaker;<br />
a Royal-Albert-restaurant-tantrum-taker,<br />
Teasers-chainsawer and associate of hoods,<br />
one day found mysteriously dead in the woods.<br />
His legacy surely will gain second look <br />
should we ever write an Elmore-Leonard-esque book.<br />
<br />
<font size="4"><b>S</b></font> is for Specialty Plates; that's our jam!<br />
With five this year alone, we've been going ham;<br />
one for Goldeyes, one for Fish Futures too,<br />
one that only added "Bienvenue",<br />
one for Curlers, and one for old car buffs.<br />
And look for more next year! These still ain't enuffs.<br />
<br />
<font size="4"><b>T</b></font> is for Target; it's finally here!<br />
That drive to the States always seemed so severe—-<br />
but what's this? Our interest immediately depleted;<br />
CANADIAN prices! Ugh, we feel cheated!<br />
No, sir, this new Target just ain't our scene.<br />
(But it's nice that you folks made this Zellers so clean.)<br />
<br />
<font size="4"><b>U</b></font> is for UFC, Ultimate Fighting;<br />
a pay-per-view coming seemed very exciting<br />
in a place with such loose violence and fashion credos<br />
that sweatpants with TapouT shirts count as tuxedos.<br />
Fans packed the rafters, a full sellout draw, <br />
for what might be the worst card the sport ever saw.<br />
<br />
<font size="4"><b>V</b></font> is the Roman numeral for five<br />
years since Brian Sinclair was last seen alive;<br />
found dead waiting at HSC in '08,<br />
a '13 inquest is an oddly long wait.<br />
And only now they note -- well, isn't that weird! --<br />
their security footage of his death's disappeared.<br />
<br />
<font size="4"><b>W</b></font>, Water, the talk of the town<br />
when the taps began pouring a rainbow of brown --<br />
all hues, tints and shades, a full range of corrosion<br />
from 'lightest of beiges' to 'fecal explosion'.<br />
But if we want people to move here, perhaps<br />
we should be able to offer clear water from taps.<br />
<br />
<font size="4"><b>X</b></font> is the crossing-off of things departed,<br />
a full list won't fit but here's one that I'd started:<br />
Kelekis, Gio's, the Tallest Poppy too,<br />
the Parkade, Arkadash, Boo at the Zoo,<br />
Dalnavert, Paddlewheel, Paddlewheel Queen--<br />
this goes on for twelve lines, but you get what I mean.<br />
<br />
<font size="4"><b>Y</b></font> is for Years, as 140 we turned;<br />
for commemoration the cityfolk Yearned<br />
but our brave leadership instead welcomed the day<br />
by stonewalling quietly 'til it went away.<br />
By 150, perhaps, we might honour our name<br />
with a swelling of pride and not a vague sense of shame.<br />
<br />
And <font size="4"><b>Z</b></font> is for Zombie Walk, this year now laid<br />
to rest if our governments weren't getting paid<br />
for the trouble of people downtown, such a mess --<br />
there's no greater curse in this town than success --<br />
so the route held nary a Zombie in sight,<br />
downtown quite ironically dead on that night.<br />
<br />
<b>[---]</b><br />
<br />
Happy New Year, everyone!<p>James Hope Howardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18143628957923923335noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35424944.post-55445848831039243702013-12-28T23:34:00.000-06:002013-12-29T07:47:59.874-06:00Manitoba Links Weekly: A Couple of Interesting Polls and Then Just a Whole Bunch of Drinking and Driving in This Post (ManLinkWeek S02E10)<p>Hello and welcome to <a href="http://slurpeesandmurder.blogspot.ca/search/label/ManLinkWeek">Manitoba Links Weekly</a>!<br />
<br />
There was no <a href="http://archives.winnipeginternetpundits.com/">WIPs</a> this Wednesday, because Wednesday was Christmas. So Merry Christmas! Here's a <a href="http://slurpeesandmurder.blogspot.ca/2013/12/slurpees-and-murder-record-club.html">neat local Christmas album</a> I'd put up earlier in the week, if you'd missed it; you're probably all done with Christmas music for the year, but there's always next year, hey? Always next year.<br />
<br />
Deck the halls with <a href="http://slurpeesandmurder.blogspot.ca/search/label/ManLinkWeek">ManLinkWeek</a>! Let's open with a pair of fascinating year-end polling results:<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/local/wasylycia-leis-strong-in-survey-237273321.html">Winnipeg Free Press: Wasylycia-Leis strong in survey</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://winnipeg.ctvnews.ca/wasylycia-leis-front-runner-in-mayoral-race-poll-1.1608273">CTV Winnipeg: Wasylycia-Leis front-runner in mayoral race poll</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegsun.com/2013/12/26/poll-says-katz-could-face-stiff-competition-for-re-election">Winnipeg Sun: Poll says Katz could face stiff competition for re-election </a> ]<br />
How bad are the polls for Mayor Sam Katz? He's in Manitoba NDP territory. It's <i>that</i> bad.<br />
<br />
It's interesting that so much of the focus has been on Wasylycia-Leis' numbers, because, really, they haven't budged much in about three years now. She drew 43% of the vote in the final 2010 election results, and she's currently polling at 45%; margins of error being what they are, Judy's numbers are basically unchanged. So it's funny to consider the difference that a few years can make, especially for how largely silent she's been since; the story isn't that she's still at less than half, the story is that she held pat and her competition crumbled around her.<br />
<br />
Perhaps unsurprisingly, given the year(s) he's had, Katz has been steadily bleeding support; he's down to a mere 22% now, 9% dedicated and 13% iffy, which wouldn't seal a 2014 victory without a minimum of four other confirmed candidates in the mix. And all of those other four candidates would have to split the anyone-but-the-incumbent sentiment <i>without</i> stealing any of his centre-right base, which... seems drastically unlikely, at present; the majority of the remaining polling field is a swirl of nondescript centre-right white males, biding their time to see if Caesar shall go forth.<br />
<br />
Worse still for Katz's chances, his polling figures are standalone -- not Katz vs. X, or Katz vs. Y, or Katz vs. Wow That's a Lot of White People. No, he was a yes-no question all by himself: if he runs again in 2014, would you vote for him? 9% said "yes", 13% said "sure" (I'm paraphrasing), 17% said "probably not" and 57% said "<i>absolutely</i> not". For a mayor that won with 55% of the vote three years back, that's a heck of a boulder between him and the top of the hill. <br />
<br />
But you'll note, of course, that the polls do not include River Heights-Fort Garry councillor John Orlikow; he only recently <a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/local/Orlikow-considering-bid-to-become-mayor-236453781.html">announced his consideration of a mayoral bid</a>, because of course he did. Who <i>isn't</i> thinking of running, am I right? Consulting with friends, deliberating with family, waiting to be included in one round of polling before making any decisions, that sort of thing. 'Tis the season! <br />
<br />
So it's really all a whirlwind of hypotheticals, at this point. Steeves is locked in -- he has the pre-campaigning-period bills to prove it -- and is currently sitting at 25%, or functionally equivalent to Katz should he run; everyone else is thus far undeclared, a perpetual-motion abacus of what-ifs. JWL is at 45%, but a theoretical Orlikow run could siphon away some of that base; only the centre-left "oh-but-I'm-a-<i>Liberal</i>" portion, though, because Judy has the left-left basically locked. <i>Are</i> there any theoretical mayoral candidates who would be considered left of Judy Wasylycia-Leis? Nick Ternette died in March, bear in mind.<br />
<br />
Let us assume for the moment that 55%-60% of the city's active vote is right to centre-right, and that 40%-45% is left to centre-left. This fully checks out over the last ten years of civic elections and polls. I know, that's weird. If Steeves is as in as he says he is, his current 25% support leaves a 30%-to-35% ceiling that will be parceled out among however many other centre-right-onward types run. Including the Mayor, and I know I ran the Julius Caesar reference already, but you'll note that I'm not even the first to be using the "<a href="http://www.winnipegsun.com/2013/12/17/mayoral-challengers-bring-knives-out-at-city-budget-vote">knives are out</a>" metaphor.<br />
<br />
Wasylycia-Leis and Orlikow would be dividing a combined 45% between them, should Orlikow indeed run, but there are still five centre-right candidates right now splitting a prospective 55%-to-60% field. Steeves, Katz, Havixbeck, Bowman, Fiel--<br />
<br />
Fielding ain't running. Can I just call that right now? I've enjoyed all of the civic ideas that he's put forward since examining his prospects, referenda and alternate budgets and all that, but dude's polling fifth out of five in his intended base at the moment. He's <a href="http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/manitoba/early-poll-favours-katz-for-mayor-1.919489">the Russ Wyatt</a> of the field (or the <a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/special/ndpleadership/selinger-the-best-to-lead-poll-62823202.html">Andrew</a> <a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/breakingnews/Swan-out-of-NDP-leadership-race-62328007.html">Swan</a>, if you prefer). Ain't no shame in that! Good on him for putting himself out there, it was worth a shot, y'never know until you try. <br />
<br />
Bear in mind, too, though -- this isn't even the final roster! People have until (holy hell) the end of <i>April</i> to permanently declare whether or not they're running, so there may or may not be some surprises lurking yet; expect some coy answers and tentative looks until then. But the one thing we've definitively determined from this round of polling is that the seated mayor doesn't have the numbers he'd need for another election, and it's difficult to craft a scenario that'd propel him to victory despite himself. Like, Bowman <i>and</i> Havixbeck <i>and</i> Fielding all decide not to run, <i>plus</i> Steeves mysteriously drops out, <i>plus</i> Orlikow both runs and manages to perfectly split JWL's support? That seems plausible, right? If <i>you</i> have a believable combination of events that would lead to the re-election of the easiest civic target in decades, believe me, mang, I am all ears.<br />
<br />
<i>(pauses, checks overrun balances, takes long swig of brown tap water)</i><br />
<br />
Also in recent polling news:<br />
<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/local/ndp-support-dwindling-poll-237459001.html">Winnipeg Free Press: NDP support dwindling: poll</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/manitoba/manitoba-tories-rise-as-ndp-slips-poll-suggests-1.2477284">CBC Manitoba: Manitoba Tories rise as NDP slips, poll suggests</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://globalnews.ca/news/1052029/support-for-manitoba-ndp-dwindling/">Global Winnipeg: Support for Manitoba NDP dwindling</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.brandonsun.com/breaking-news/work-cut-out-for-us-caldwell-237796961.html">Brandon Sun: Work cut out for us: Caldwell</a> ]<br />
How bad are the polls for the Manitoba NDP? They're in Mayor Sam Katz territory. It's <i>that</i> bad. <br />
<br />
(Also Howard Pawley bad, but this phrasing puts it into equal perspective, I think.)<br />
<br />
Selinger has tried to brush the public reaction off as "<a href="http://www.winnipegsun.com/2013/12/12/pst-has-caused-manitoba-heartburn-selinger">heartburn</a>" and promise "<a href="http://globalnews.ca/news/1046446/manitoba-premier-says-no-major-tax-hikes-in-2014/">no major tax increases</a>" for 2014 -- but he'd also promised that the PST hike would <a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/special/budget/Infrastructure-spending-up-80M----40-of-PST-hike-203267201.html">all go into infrastructure</a>, grotesquely stretching the definitions of both "all" and "infrastructure". So, y'know.<br />
<br />
The Premier's opposition poll numbers are not nearly as daunting as the Mayor's opposition poll numbers -- 20% for the <i>Liberals</i>? The <i>Manitoba</i> Liberals? C'mon, who're you fooling -- but they certainly aren't encouraging, especially within the city. With an extra year to brainstorm, though, the NDP have more leeway; there's plenty of time to gamble on announcements that could drive the numbers up, they can still hit the panic button of switching leaders should the tanking continue, and if there's one thing that the Manitoba Conservatives have shown themselves capable of it is blowing leads. (<i>Some</i>one within the Conservative caucus is working on an electable budget proposal as we speak, right?)<br />
<br />
Perhaps the most surprising outcome of the NDP's most recent drop:<br />
<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegsun.com/2013/12/27/selinger-calls-byelections-in-morris-arthur-virden">Winnipeg Sun: Selinger calls byelections in Morris, Arthur-Virden</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://winnipeg.ctvnews.ca/province-calls-byelections-in-morris-and-arthur-virden-1.1609220">CTV Winnipeg: Province calls byelections in Morris and Arthur-Virden</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.brandonsun.com/breaking-news/byelections-in-traditional-tory-ridings-set-for-jan-28-237796841.html">Brandon Sun: Byelections in traditional Tory ridings set for Jan. 28</a> ]<br />
MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS, IT'S A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE<br />
<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegsun.com/2013/12/21/the-not-so-top-10-the-biggest-wastes-of-your-money-in-2013">Winnipeg Sun: The not-so-top 10: The biggest wastes of your money in 2013</a> ]<br />
'Tis the season for year-end lists! So here's local rabblerouser and tough-on-crime watchdog Tom Brodbeck, counting down his top ten ways that the civic and provincial governments wasted your honest hard-earned tax dollars throughout this past year.<br />
<br />
What's that? The comments on that article are closed? I say. Seems a little odd, in'nt? Not so much, as it turns out, because--<br />
<br />
[ <a href="http://frankmagazine.ca/node/2229">frankmagazine: Anti-drunk driving Sun Media columnist nailed for drunk driving</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://johndobbin.blogspot.ca/2013/12/what-media-ignores.html">Observations, Reservations, Conversations: What the Media Ignores</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://imperfectlybalanced.com/2013/12/20/an-open-letter-to-tom-brodbeck/">Imperfectly Balanced: An open letter to Tom Brodbeck</a> ] (!)<br />
Oh, goodness. Well. Well, that's awkward.<br />
<br />
Not helping any, <a href="http://twitter.com/MBGov/status/413772877725323266">this</a> is what the Provincial Government's Twitter account sent out the day the news broke:<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p>Drinking and driving is a crime. Learn more about the consequences in Manitoba <a href="http://t.co/X1haPSwI7e">http://t.co/X1haPSwI7e</a></p>— Manitoba Government (@MBGov) <a href="https://twitter.com/MBGov/statuses/413772877725323266">December 19, 2013</a></blockquote><script async src="//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script><br />
Youuuuu dinks. You <i>dinks</i>! You cheeky so-and-sos.<br />
<br />
Despite being quite obviously out there in the public eye, this story sat open and festering for a good half a week or so. It was not a good look -- squabbly alternative types chirping for days on end about "mainstream media secrecy", "the old boys' club", "closing ranks", "stories they're afraid to touch", so on and so forth and all of that -- but it persisted nonetheless, seething and souring until finally--<br />
<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/local/sobering-facts-on-drunk-driving-236981131.html">Winnipeg Free Press: SOBERING FACTS on drunk driving</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://metronews.ca/news/winnipeg/892288/winnipeg-sun-columnist-pleads-guilty-to-drunk-driving/">Metro Winnipeg: Winnipeg Sun columnist pleads guilty to drunk driving</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegsun.com/2013/12/23/brodbeck-pleads-guilty-to-impaired-driving">Winnipeg Sun: Brodbeck pleads guilty to impaired driving</a> ]<br />
It was Mike McIntyre and James Turner of the Free Press who first introduced the story into the local mainstream media -- 'broke' it, if you will -- by including it in a much larger perspective of, appropriately enough, lenient sentencing for drunk drivers. (Yeah, I saw you, Facebook lefties. "HUG-A-THUG!" "A SLAP ON THE WRIST!" Don't even pretend, I know y'all're enjoying this.)<br />
<br />
The Sun, of course, obligated to defend their flagship columnist (and I'm almost certain <a href="http://twitter.com/mellabobella/status/414030579538333696/photo/1/large">this</a> was a Mike Kelly reference), ran as careful a selection of quotes as they could. "How noble and philosophical he was to plead guilty, when the leniency of our courts could've set him free! A hero to us all!" Firstly, he tried to flee the police when they tailed him and put their lights on, and secondly, he <i>had</i> to plead guilty, because his career would've been absolutely and conclusively dead in an instant if he had been seen as going to trial and fighting the charges against him. <br />
<br />
That said; that said. Look. I can't say I <i>don't</i> understand the appeal of the situational irony -- a man who built his public image on <a href="http://www.winnipegsun.com/news/columnists/tom_brodbeck/2011/04/04/17876451.html">crusading against drunk-drivers</a>, himself caught drunk driving -- and I get that a whole lot of people, coincidentally slanting one particular direction over the other, are as pleased as punch to see the man humiliated and humbled. It's ugly, but it's understandable. Human nature, and all that.<br />
<br />
But I am an old man now -- <font size="1">(James, you're twenty-nine)</font> -- I am an old man now, and in my old age I just don't have it in me to demonize people any more. Not with the appetite I used to five or ten years ago, although I was never any good at it when I tried, either. We all, all of us -- maybe in a moment in time, maybe over the course of years, maybe to our sudden realization -- we've all, at some point in our lives, grappled with being something that we despise. Haven't we? It's something that you grapple with, it's something you struggle against. How <i>could</i> I? After all of that, after everything I <i>know</i>, how could I <i>do</i> that?<br />
<br />
Various folks have tried to call him out for not owning up to it, or for not running an apology, but in dead seriousness that'd be the absolute end of him if he did. It's not a viable option! He can never publicly acknowledge it, never call himself out for being the very thing he railed against, because how could he? Columnists -- and I say this as someone who, until the paper I wrote for got unceremoniously gutted, used to be a columnist -- columnists not specifically accredited in a field they're writing on, say an architect writing about buildings or a former athlete writing about sports, have nothing but their integrity and the reasonability of their arguments to back them up. If you yank that out from under someone -- when a columnist loses his or her moral suasion -- well, what else is there? <br />
<br />
This isn't the same over-the-top villainry we're accustomed to seeing from bad-news stories on local journalist types -- exploding into an unprovoked rage at a Liquor Mart clerk, or trying to headshot a gas station attendant with a thrown wallet, or <a href="http://www.winnipegsun.com/news/winnipeg/2010/03/18/13284466.html">collecting and distributing child pornography</a>. (...well, that ramped up in a hurry. Jesus Christ.) This is an equally inexcusable but rather more plausibly human failing, a thing that people you know and love <i>do</i>, made worse on and for himself because it was something he publicly railed against. This really sort of humanized rather than demonized him, and when you're trying to score points against somebody because you disagree with them, humanizing them at Christmastime isn't the way to go about it.<br />
<br />
If he'd killed someone, that <i>definitely</i> would've been the end of him. There's that to it, too, isn't there? "Ha, he could've killed someone! What a rube!" It may be a bit of a long draw here, but I think a lot of you may've had the same eventual reactions to the Rob Ford saga in Toronto; there's a tipping point, even for folks whose politics you may vehemently disagree with, where a story moves from "look how conveniently wacky and dramatic this is!" to "okay, actually, he might need serious help, this has stopped being funny".<br />
<br />
And addictions, generally -- try as we might! -- addictions aren't particularly funny. <i>I</i>'ve tried joking about 'em, because my dad drank himself straight out of my life when I was nine and you have to brace yourself against that somehow, but there's an ice-cold razor of a feeling through your stomach when it first occurs to you that you might be making fun of someone who's actively trying to destroy themselves.<br />
<br />
I'm not saying that's the <i>case</i>, here, per se. I don't know Brodbeck outside of his writings, and I can't say I necessarily agree with most of them. (I'm not defending him on this, either, by any means; he fucked <i>up</i>.) It is entirely possible that this all just happened to blow up on him the very first and only time that he ever drank and then drove, however implausible that sounds even as I type it. <br />
<br />
But in following how we, all of us, how we've reacted to his undoing -- "Why should anyone ever listen to him again? This man's life is probably ruined! Ha!" -- I just, I can't get into this the way that some of you have. It didn't sit right with me from the start, and there was a very specific point -- reading he'd slowed his own reaction times enough that his attempt to stop at a red light left him "<i>half a car length into the intersection</i>" -- that the joke just absolutely wasn't funny any more. There's nothing but dangerous territory out there, once you're that far gone.<br />
<br />
For him, for now, there's nothing else to be done. He'll take the bus to work, and he'll claim the same moral high ground as he did before (because he has to), but it just won't be the same, and he'll have to live with that. People will keep mocking him everywhere he goes, for becoming what he hated, and he'll say nothing in response, because what could he say? How do you defend yourself against what you'd deemed indefensible? Good lord, that's a mess. But at least no one died. There's that, there's that.<br />
<br />
And, whatever else Brodbeck is dealing with right now, I suppose at least he wasn't this guy:<br />
<br />
[ <a href="http://www.cjob.com/2013/12/21/st-vital-crash/">680 CJOB: UPDATE: Police Arrest Suspect in Early Morning Chase</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegsun.com/2013/12/22/drunken-chase-ends-in-tree">Winnipeg Sun: Drunken chase ends in tree</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/manitoba/police-taser-man-who-allegedly-crashed-stolen-car-into-tree-1.2473797">CBC Manitoba: Police Taser man who allegedly crashed stolen car into tree</a> ]<br />
"<i>The man is charged with impaired driving, flight from police, dangerous operation of motor vehicle, resisting a police officer, assaulting a police officer, possession of a weapon for a dangerous purpose, possession of stolen property, three counts of disobeying a traffic control device and court breaches.</i>"<br />
<br />
AND A PAR-TRI-IDGE IN A PEARRR TREEEEEE<br />
<br />
Okay, but no, seriously, don't drink and drive. Drinking and driving is a major prob--<br />
<br />
[ <a href="http://cowsvpelms1.cityofwinnipeg.ca/read/archive?id=5063&mid=48063&e=wps-pio%40winnipeg.ca&x=743d0207">Winnipeg Police Service News Release: IMPAIRED DRIVING ARREST – C13-262647</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegsun.com/2013/12/22/wake-of-destruction-left-behind-pickups-wild-ride">Winnipeg Sun: Wake of destruction left behind pickup's wild ride</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/local/man-60-charged-in-series-of-crashes-236981421.html">Winnipeg Free Press: Man, 60, charged in series of crashes</a> ]<br />
Okay, but no, seriously. Drunk driving is a major problem this time of year. <br />
<br />
[ <a href="http://winnipeg.ctvnews.ca/man-arrested-for-drunk-driving-on-christmas-eve-1.1606772">CTV Winnipeg: Man arrested for drunk driving on Christmas Eve</a> ]<br />
Okay, but n--<br />
<br />
[ <a href="http://winnipeg.ctvnews.ca/police-warn-drunk-drivers-we-re-out-here-1.1604397">CTV Winnipeg: Police warn drunk drivers: 'We're out here'</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/manitoba/winnipeg-police-target-drunk-drivers-1.2476699">CBC Manitoba: Winnipeg police target drunk drivers</a> ]<br />
Okay, no, but <i>seriously</i>. <br />
<br />
And, finally:<br />
<br />
[ <a href="http://www.manitobamusic.com/calendar/date:2013-12-31">Manitoba Music: Live Music, Tue, December 31, 2013</a> ] <br />
[ <a href="http://metronews.ca/news/winnipeg/880548/winnipeg-transit-offers-free-rides-on-new-years-eve/">Metro Winnipeg: Winnipeg Transit offers free rides on New Year's Eve</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.safetyservicesmanitoba.ca/rednose/">Safety Services Manitoba: Operation Rednose</a> ]<br />
Awwww, yeahhhh, New Year's Eve! New Year's <i>Eve</i>. Whoo! Everyone batten down your fucking <i>hatches</i>, because shit is about. To get. <i>Mes</i>-sy. NEW YEAR'S EVE.<br />
<br />
I'm not going to lie to you fine folks; I have had one of the absolute worst calendar years in living memory, and I'm getting to the point where there's a lot of them to choose from, so that's saying something. If you happen to run into me, somewhere along that list of events above, I hope that you will be patient with me, because I will be handling New Year's as a full-contact sport and either 2013 is getting buried or I am.<br />
<br />
But, yeah, having typed everything you've read above, I'm most certainly leaving my car at home. As warm and convenient and tempting (<i>so</i> tempting) as it'd likely be, I am leaving my car at home on New Year's Eve; I like drinking, <i>and</i> I like driving, but damn if they aren't an either-or pair of skillsets. (And really, once the anti-drunk-driving crusaders start getting pulled over for drunk driving, that should really be reason and warning enough for anybody.)<br />
<br />
Listen, man. Hey. Listen. I know you'll think you're okay. Everyone <i>always</i> thinks they're okay, before they strap themselves into a quarter-ton of metal and accelerate themselves to speeds that the human brain never actually evolved to handle. <br />
<br />
There're a lot of factors in play here, too. I get that. We as a shared society really aren't backing up all of our big talk about curbing the problem. The city shuts Transit down half an hour before closing time, the Province's <a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/opinion/columnists/big-bucks-to-be-made-in-taxis-78399262.html">carefully-guarded and wildly indefensible duopoly</a> means taxis are staggeringly unavailable in -35°C weather while you wait outside somewhere between 2:00 and 2:30 AM, and Operation Rednose -- bless their hearts, they do what they can -- <a href="http://twitter.com/RedNoseWpg/status/417053798478016512">gets cancelled in extremely bad weather situations</a>. So you won't feel like you have any choice, and you'll get behind the wheel, and something bad may or may not happen. (Not that you're worried, because <a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/local/sobering-facts-on-drunk-driving-236981131.html">penalties are still pretty tame</a>.) <br />
<br />
You'll be unswayable when you <i>hit</i> that point, so just... don't hit that point, man. This'll all be meaningless to you if you get that far gone, but if you plan just far enough ahead to catch the last free bus -- or to line someone up who'll be familiar and understanding enough to let you crash somewhere warm -- these will all be problems you won't have to worry about.<br />
<br />
This all got a little dark, didn't it? Sorry about that, folks. Thank you for reading <a href="http://slurpeesandmurder.blogspot.ca/search/label/ManLinkWeek">ManLinkWeek</a>! We'll have one more post before the year formally concludes -- all of you who've already guessed what it is, don't spoil it for the rest of the group -- so I'll see you folks back here one more time in 2013. Catch you then!<p>James Hope Howardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18143628957923923335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35424944.post-32935697032920386422013-12-24T13:11:00.001-06:002014-01-01T15:02:38.715-06:00Slurpees and Murder Record Club: Unsurprisingly, Lots of Christ in the St. Mary's Academy Christmas Album (JUBILEE!)<p>Merry almost-Christmas, listeners, and welcome to the <a href="http://slurpeesandmurder.blogspot.ca/search/label/SMRC">Slurpees and Murder Record Club</a>!<br />
<br />
Today's lost local Christmas album is vastly more traditional than our <a href="http://slurpeesandmurder.blogspot.ca/2013/12/slurpees-and-murder-record-club-ladies.html">most recent installment</a>; it's more in line with <a href="http://slurpeesandmurder.blogspot.ca/2011/12/slurpees-and-murder-record-club-leise.html">last year's Christmastime entry</a>, though twenty years later and with the jump in recording equipment to match.<br />
<br />
So get your stockings and your eggnog and your Christ-love if you're into that, because it's time for:<br />
<br />
<a href="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/20131224stmarysacademyjubileechoir/cover.jpg"><img src="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/20131224stmarysacademyjubileechoir/cover.jpg" title="St. Mary's Academy Jubilee Choir, ''JUBILEE!'', edited front cover. As I've said before, I do my best to square album art into the MP3 ID3 tags, so that'll save you some fussin' and fiddlin' if you decide to load any of the songs into your iTunes or your VLC or whatever you crazy kids use these days. (Click to Enlarge)" height="600" width="600"></a><br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
<a href="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/20131224stmarysacademyjubileechoir/fullcover1000x.jpg"><img src="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/20131224stmarysacademyjubileechoir/fullcover1000x.jpg" title="St. Mary's Academy Jubilee Choir, ''JUBILEE!'', full unfolded cover. (Click to Enlarge)" height="270" width="600"></a><br />
<br />
<a href="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/20131224stmarysacademyjubileechoir/side1.jpg"><img src="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/20131224stmarysacademyjubileechoir/side1.jpg" title="St. Mary's Academy Jubilee Choir, ''JUBILEE!'', cassette design. (Click to Enlarge)" height="366" width="600"></a><br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.mediafire.com/?vxq17p9rt8mnyna"><u>St. Mary's Academy Jubilee Choir - JUBILEE!</u></a> (1994, cassette)<br />
<font size="1">[<a href="http://www.stmarysacademy.mb.ca/">school website</a> | <a href="http://www.stmarysacademy.mb.ca/home/about_sma/history/">school history</a> | no records related to the choir seem to have been kept, alas | to give you some idea of how rare and lost this album is, "St. Mary's Academy Jubilee Choir" <a href="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/20131224stmarysacademyjubileechoir/112313noresultsfound.jpg">turns up zero Google hits</a> as of this writing | so, yeah, no, this album's out of print ]</font><br />
<br />
Usually, in digitizing a cassette, I'll noisegate out the ambient tape hiss; my efforts to do so with this album were resulting in some serious sound-quality issues with the actual music, and you know how I hate to spoil someone's hard work, so I left it in and preserved the fidelity of the audio as closely as I could. So you may notice a background hiss on headphones and on certain sound systems, or you may not. Or maybe I'm just being persnickety about a minor thing! This is possible too. ANYWAY--<br />
<br />
This is as traditional and delightful as a full-out-Christ Christmas album gets, released in 1994 -- well, it's <i>technically</i> undated, but you can see the cover as well as I can -- released in 1994 to commemorate both the 150th anniversary of the Sisters of the Holy Names of Jesus and Mary and the 120th Anniversary of the St. Mary's Academy itself. (You can read up on the history of both <a href="http://www.stmarysacademy.mb.ca/home/about_sma/history/">here</a>, particularly if you need a refresher on the Sisters.) And the <i>sound quality</i>! This is quite spectacularly clear and crisp for a school-choir recording, and I say that as someone who's heard more than his share of school recordings in his time.<br />
<br />
There are some off-the-board selections here, or at least some generally less-appreciated compositions, and I am totally on board for that; it's always just really nice, this time of year, to hear <i>any</i>thing outside of the <a href="http://xkcd.com/988/">usual repertoire</a>. Even as a self-identifying do-good-white-infidel-atheist, I'll take Christ-y rarities over the same inescapable handful of overexposed secular slosh. I'm curious like that.<br />
<br />
I don't even <i>remember</i> the last time I heard "The Holly & the Ivy" before this album; "I saw three Ships" always, inevitably makes me think of <a href="http://harkavagrant.com/index.php?id=161">this Kate Beaton comic</a>; and a fair number of local folk can't hear "Go tell it on the Mountain" without <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gg7uGL6Ku20">thinking of this</a>. (And neither can you, now.)<br />
<br />
The capitalization on a lot of these album tracks may seem off, but I'm just the messenger on them; all of the song titles are [sic], as both the album cover and the cassette can confirm. Not capitalizing the 'Merry' in "We wish you a merry Christmas" takes some serious mental unlearning, for example. But I figure, hey, they know more about these songs than I do.<br />
<br />
As best I can tell, the male soloist who appears in some of the songs -- likely also the man in the picture on the front cover -- is musical director Dr. W. Chancy, who I can find <i>zero</i> information about online. (Heck, <i>everything</i> about this cassette is a mystery to the internet, at least until I put this post up.) Generally, though, musical directors of choirs are <i>pretty</i> good at singing, and such is the case here; Dr. Chancy takes the lead on a fair number of songs, and he is <i>great</i>. Like, "world-class before we started slapping 'world-class' on everything" great. The choir's great too! The whole thing is surprisingly great, it's an unshakeably solid Chris-a-mas album. <br />
<br />
Here are a couple of songs with both Chancy and the full Choir on them, for your previewing enjoyment:<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.mediafire.com/listen/z3hppoz86za48d8/St.%20Mary's%20Academy%20Jubilee%20Choir%20(soloist%20Dr.%20W.%20Chancy)%20-%20O%20Come%20Emmanuel.mp3"><u>St. Mary's Academy Jubilee Choir (soloist Dr. W. Chancy) - O Come Emmanuel</u></a><br />
<a href="http://www.mediafire.com/listen/xbw186lg1pq175v/St.%20Mary's%20Academy%20Jubilee%20Choir%20(soloist%20Dr.%20W.%20Chancy)%20-%20Rise%20up%20Shepherd.mp3"><u>St. Mary's Academy Jubilee Choir (soloist Dr. W. Chancy) - Rise up Shepherd</u></a><br />
<br />
So Merry Christmas, one and all! I hope you enjoy this album; put it on tonight or tomorrow, I think you'll really like it. <br />
<br />
And that's our post for today! I'll have a Manitoba Links Weekly up sometime later this week, but a surprising percentage of it (spoiler alert) boils down to "don't drink and drive", so don't drink and drive. Stay safe, everyone!<p>James Hope Howardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18143628957923923335noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35424944.post-23898987732687551632013-12-21T23:52:00.000-06:002013-12-28T23:35:09.826-06:00Manitoba Links Weekly: We Should Send Thunder Bay a Nice Card, Diabetes as Plot Resolution, More Fights Than Points, and Here is Burton Cummings Performing His "The 8 Days of Christmas" (ManLinkWeek S02E09)<p><iframe width="560" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/oQYTPTgy7go" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br />
<br />
The soulfulness in each and every delivery of "<i>Five pounds of hash~!</i>" makes my heart grow three sizes. And that camerawork! I'm so glad that we live in a world where this exists.<br />
<br />
Hello and welcome to <a href="http://slurpeesandmurder.blogspot.ca/search/label/ManLinkWeek">Manitoba Links Weekly</a>! We've almost made it all the way through 2013; I'd say "let's enjoy it while it lasts", but this year turned vicious on me in every imaginable way, so honestly let's just kill it as quickly as we can.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://archives.winnipeginternetpundits.com/post/70445634260/december-18-2013-the-eight-days-of-christmas">This week on Winnipeg Internet Pundits</a> we had some fun with that new <a href="http://johndobbin.blogspot.ca/2013/12/manitoba-canadas-heartbeats.html">Tourism</a> <a href="http://theviewfromseven.wordpress.com/2013/12/17/no-such-thing-as-the-general-public/">Manitoba</a> slogan -- and some fun flag-related follow-up discussion! -- as well as some looking back on top stories of 2013 and looking forward to top stories of 2014. Oh, and some music! That's a thing I've learned how to do on the soundboard now, swap on the fly from music to talk, it was pretty rad. Fine seasonal discussion, fine seasonal music -- a fine show all around, well worth your ear.<br />
<br />
Anyway! No time to waste. <a href="http://slurpeesandmurder.blogspot.ca/search/label/ManLinkWeek">ManLinkWeek</a>!<br />
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[ <a href="http://www.statcan.gc.ca/daily-quotidien/131219/dq131219b-eng.htm?HPA">The Daily (Statistics Canada): Homicide in Canada, 2012</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/local/Manitobas-homicide-rate-highest-among-provinces-236553311.html">Winnipeg Free Press: Manitoba's homicide rate highest among provinces</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://globalnews.ca/news/1040770/manitoba-posts-worst-2012-provincial-homicide-rate-winnipeg-2nd-city/">Global Winnipeg: Manitoba posts worst 2012 provincial homicide rate, Winnipeg 2nd city</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegsun.com/2013/12/19/murdertoba-crowned-again-as-2012-homicide-data-released">Winnipeg Sun: Murdertoba crowned again as 2012 homicide data released</a> ]<br />
Good news, everyone: the homicide rate in Thunder Bay makes the homicide rates here look not too bad! What a serene and peacef--no no no don't look at the other data, never mind the rest of Canada, just look at us and at Thunder Bay and back. <br />
<br />
Bless your hearts, Thunder Bay, you're the only ones keeping us here in Winnipeg away from even worse headlines. ("Among the provinces", of course, which is where most people set their scope; I think we all just sort of mutually understand that a discussion of the territories would draw out some really uncomfortable national dialogue.) You really came through for us this year! Well, last year, I mean, but y'know how statistical reporting is. You guys like fruitcake? We'll send you guys a fruitcake.<br />
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[ <a href="http://louisrielletters.blogspot.ca/2013/12/letter-to-santa-please-pick-up-my.html">Open Letters to Louis Riel: Fulfilling the Winnipeg Dream: Letter to Santa: Please pick up my Garbage, because the city won't</a> ]<br />
Oh. Okay, so, uhh -- Thunder Bay? We... we need a favour.<br />
<br />
I know that sounds really bad, you already did us a solid on the murders thing -- you know we appreciate it, we're not ungrateful, we're really not -- but could you... could you also just... maybe screw up collecting garbage? It'd be just for a while, it'd <i>really</i> help us out, it's just, we need to not be alone on this. When things become issues here, they kinda never really <i>stop</i> being issues, so anything you could do would really help.<br />
<br />
Just for a little while, just switch to ignoring garbage. <a href="http://metronews.ca/news/winnipeg/885995/winnipeg-residents-warned-of-more-brown-water/">And brown tap water</a>. We'd <i>really</i> appreciate if you c--no, too far. Sorry. No, you're right, that's on me, that's asking too much. Forget I'd said that. <br />
<br />
Y'know, though, there must be <i>some</i>thing that can lift Winnipeg's spiri--<br />
<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/opinion/columnists/bug-man-stuart-still-around-236681301.html">Winnipeg Free Press: Bug man Stuart still around</a> ]<br />
OH MY GOD HE'S ALIVE, HE'S STILL IN TOWN<br />
<br />
(<i>writes 'TAZ STUART' on a piece of paper, marks an 'X' beside it, throws it at computer screen</i>)<br />
<br />
DID IT WORK, IS HE MAYOR YET<br />
<br />
[ <a href="http://aroundthistown.ca/2013/12/17/mpi-increasing-more-than-your-premiums/">Around This Town: MPI: increasing more than your premiums</a> ]<br />
Oof, that graph. Well, oof, the whole thing, really. But <i>oof</i>, that graph.<br />
<br />
While we're into the provincial file, I know I'm about to drop a lot of reading on you, but I can assure you that the surprise left-field reveal at the end makes following the whole saga more than worth your while:<br />
<br />
[ <a href="http://www.brandonsun.com/national/breaking-news/unanswered-questions-when-did-manitoba-premier-know-his-minister-was-untruthful-235944521.html?thx=y">Brandon Sun: Unanswered questions: When did Manitoba premier know his minister was untruthful?</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://globalnews.ca/news/1035973/selinger-knew-early-on-his-minister-misled/">Global Winnipeg: Selinger knew "early on" his minister misled</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/breakingnews/Lie-contributed-to-Melnick-being-removed-from-cabinet-236292331.html">Winnipeg Free Press: Lie contributed to Melnick being removed from cabinet</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegsun.com/2013/12/18/tories-calling-for-suspension-of-christine-melnick-over-rally-lies">Winnipeg Sun: Tories calling for suspension of Christine Melnick over rally lies</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.brandonsun.com/national/breaking-news/manitoba-political-system-means-truth-may-not-be-known-in-melnick-affair-expert-236630271.html?thx=y">Brandon Sun: Manitoba political system means truth may not be known in Melnick affair: Expert</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/manitoba/former-ndp-minister-breaks-silence-over-lie-to-legislature-1.2472501">CBC Manitoba: Former NDP minister breaks silence over lie to legislature</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://winnipegcat.blogspot.ca/2013/12/december-21st-2013.html">Winnipeg Cat: December 21st, 2013</a> ]<br />
Well. So. <i>That</i>'s a twist ending. I hadn't realized that Christine Melnick's doctor is M. Night Shyamalan.<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p><a href="https://twitter.com/MartinforMorris">@MartinforMorris</a> she waited for ombudsman's report to be made public, waited for media to find and highlight the 'mistruth', rejects intvus</p>— Steve Lambert (@stevelambertwpg) <a href="https://twitter.com/stevelambertwpg/statuses/414061250083962880">December 20, 2013</a></blockquote><script async src="//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script><br />
Well, hey, now, hold on--we should make sure, before we go too far with this, to note in fairness that obfuscation is <i>also</i> a very common side effect of diabetes. Back me up on this, diabetics! It's not <i>as</i> common as completely forgetting major rallying efforts you'd personally ordered be carried out by your staff -- just the ol' diabetes-amnesia again, the diabesia -- but certainly very common. Right? Absolutely.<br />
<br />
Really, if any blame <i>were</i> to be laid here -- which there cannot be, of course, because diabetes, but <i>were</i> there any -- it would have to be laid on the ombudsman; here he was, the risk factors and telltale signs staring him dead in the face for eighteen months, and he never <i>once</i> thought to suggest to Melnick that she get checked out. Shame, Mel Holley! Boo, hiss! <br />
<br />
Aaaaaand that's your provincial politics update. Moving on now to sports history:<br />
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[ <a href="http://curtis72.blogspot.ca/2013/12/moose-flashback-were-not-marketing.html">Curtis Walker's Blog: Moose Flashback: "We’re Not Marketing Fighting"</a> ]<br />
Spoiler alert: they were marketing fighting.<br />
<br />
There're plenty of fun pre-AHL Moose tidbits and recollections in this post, but my favourite is the gloriously illustrative knowledge that "[d]<i>uring their five seasons in the IHL, the Moose had more fights than points in the standings</i>". That's some good trivia! I learned something today.<br />
<br />
(In a related side note, I'd completely forgotten how... <i>purple</i> the team's original <a href="http://www.sportslogos.net/logos/view/28j1vtwmzu7t3enfregsgo1jn/Manitoba_Moose/1997/Primary_Logo">logo</a> and <a href="http://www.members.shaw.ca/plelliott/patsprojerseys/html/moosejerseypage.htm">jerseys</a> were. You really don't see dark purple on forest green altogether often, for what are probably entirely obvious reasons.)<br />
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And, finally, turning now to Manitoban arts and cultural history:<br />
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[ <a href="http://www.hillmanweb.com/book/cd/">Bill & Sue-On Hillman: Hillman Music CDs</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.hillmanweb.com/albums/">Bill & Sue-On Hillman: Album Gallery</a> ]<br />
<i>Oh my god look at all of this free music</i>. We could probably also spend a while admiring the design of this site, fascinating artifact of web architecture that it is, but really your first step should just be to jump right in and start clicking any song that sounds interesting or fun. Full songs! Albums' and albums' worth of full-length, artist-released material.<br />
<br />
And while you're listening to hours and hours of free vintage Westman psych-country-folk-rock, take the time as well to read <a href="http://www.brandonnow.ca/music-bill-sue-on-hillman/">a Brandon Now profile of the pair here</a> because basically everything about them is fascinating. They also have <a href="http://www.hillmanweb.com/book/">a book</a> available, and you can order physical copies of their CDs at the first of the two pile-of-free-music links above. SO MUCH MUSIC.<br />
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(I'd played "Blue Shallow River", "Blues 'Round My Door" and "In Sadness" on a Slurpees and Murder Record Club episode of WIPs this summer, but I can't seem to track down where the archived podcast went. Alas.)<br />
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Thank you for reading <a href="http://slurpeesandmurder.blogspot.ca/search/label/ManLinkWeek">ManLinkWeek</a>! Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to you and yours, and I'll see you 'round here again real soon.<p>James Hope Howardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18143628957923923335noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35424944.post-62857509902675026422013-12-14T23:23:00.000-06:002013-12-15T15:30:02.687-06:00Manitoba Links Weekly: Underwhelming Hockey at Discount Prices, I Think I Missed Dim Sum Day, Boot Scootin' Boogie for Keyboards and Drum Set, and I Don't Smoke But I Own a Cheeky Protest Contraband-Cigarettes Shirt Nonetheless (ManLinkWeek S02E08)<p>Hello and welcome to <a href="http://slurpeesandmurder.blogspot.ca/search/label/ManLinkWeek">Manitoba Links Weekly</a>! My word, time flies these days.<br />
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<a href="http://archives.winnipeginternetpundits.com/post/69741302732/december-11th-2013-give-like-smith-save-like">This week on Winnipeg Internet Pundits</a> -- ha, that episode title, though -- this week we went into surprising depth on local store and product gift-shopping recommendations, discussed the merits and drawbacks of the hypothetical <a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/breakingnews/lets-give-unicity-another-go-234369611.html">Unicity II</a>, and expanded on some particular points of the preliminary civic budget. Including <a href="http://lovemelovemywinnipeg.blogspot.ca/2013/12/call-your-councillor-but-only-if-you.html">this</a> very fine local blog post, which I heartily recommend you check out. Good times! <br />
<br />
Oh! Also earlier this week, I added the <a href="http://slurpeesandmurder.blogspot.ca/2013/12/slurpees-and-murder-record-club-ladies.html">92 CITI-FM compilation "Winnipeg's Rock 'N Roll Christmas, Volume II"</a> to the <a href="http://slurpeesandmurder.blogspot.ca/search/label/SMRC">Slurpees and Murder Record Club</a>; it's a two-decade-old rarity well worth your investigation, so give it a spin or two.<br />
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And if this post seems a little shorter than usual, it's because I've driven 2,200 kilometers across nine degrees of latitude in the past three days. Y'know, as one does. Release the <a href="http://slurpeesandmurder.blogspot.ca/search/label/ManLinkWeek">ManLinkWeek</a>!<br />
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[ <a href="http://www.winnipegsun.com/2013/12/09/winnipeg-jets-tickets-available-at-discount-price">Winnipeg Sun: Winnipeg Jets tickets available at discount prices</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/sports/hockey/jets/jets-losing-sales-sizzle-235841731.html">Winnipeg Free Press: Faithful fans getting fed up with mediocrity: Jets losing sales sizzle</a> ]<br />
I've mentioned on Twitter a few times now that I've been getting these tickets-now-available emails from the Winnipeg Jets mailing list more often -- way, <i>way</i> more often -- than I did last season, which sent more of them than the season before that. (Although that may have been because the NDP gobbled up a lot of tickets, in those days.) Not only that, but the tickets have been peddled at increasingly deep discounts; one email offered $100 lower-bowl seats and $50 upper-bowl seats, and an email later in the season cut those back even further to $95 and $45 respectively.<br />
<br />
Now, the <i>why</i> of the ticket sales has been rather self-evident: the team ain't very good. Not that they were any <i>better</i> the past two seasons, per se, but in those days it was easy to pretend that a few wins in a row might catapult the team into Southeast Division contention. As it stands <i>now</i>, however, the Jets are at present dead last in the Central and ten points back of a playoff spot; it's actually entirely possible that the team was eliminated from playoff contention <a href="http://www.cbc.ca/sports-content/hockey/opinion/2013/10/30-thoughts-oilers-dallas-eakins-takes-on-nail-yakupov.html">November</a> <a href="http://www.cbc.ca/sports-content/hockey/opinion/2013/10/30-thoughts-playoff-chase-begins-early-in-nhl.html">First</a>.<br />
<br />
Anyway. Most folks are probably well familiar with the why -- painfully familiar, even -- so it's the how of the ticket sales that folks have seemed more interested in. A lot of Winnipeggers still haven't been to a game, after all, and watching the Jets get whomped by vastly better teams does at least let the audience see what better hockey looks like. That or the Jets drag the other team into a 5-4 shootout regardless of opposition quality, which is entertaining to watch in its own right. "So how," you may ask, "can <i>I</i> get these emails for cheaper tickets?" (Someone <a href="http://twitter.com/AWildSpork/status/409841748903354369">had</a> asked me, in fact, which is what inspired me to write what you're reading here. Ask James Anything!)<br />
<br />
If you're interested in these emails, I'm <i>pretty</i> sure -- I can't say for certain, because I don't remember ever signing up for them specifically -- I'm <i>pretty</i> sure that they activate by signing up for the <a href="http://jets.nhl.com/club/page.htm?id=73317">individual ticket random draw mailing list</a>. But here's how to make certain: if you have, or create, an account through the "<a href="https://oss.ticketmaster.com/aps/wjets/EN/account/login">Winnipeg Jets Account Manager</a>" Ticketmaster page, you should see an email preferences option on the <a href="https://oss.ticketmaster.com/aps/wjets/EN/account/edit/emailpreferences">Account Preferences</a> page listed as "Single Ticket Club". It'll be at the bottom, below "Jets Mail" and "Monthly Individual Game Ticket Pre-Sale". Make sure that third box is checked and you should, at various points throughout the season, receive emails offering deep discounts on the single seats that aren't moving the way they used to.<br />
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All set up? Great! Let's move on, then.<br />
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[ <a href="http://www.winnipeglovehate.com/2013/12/yea-dim-sum.html">Winnipeg Love Hate: Yea Dim Sum</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.sarahzaharia.com/2013/12/winnipegs-best-dim-sum/">Sarah Zaharia 204: Winnipeg's Best Dim Sum</a> ]<br />
These two blog posts popped up on Monday within an hour of each other, which I am willing to acknowledge might have been a coincidence, but it also <i>might</i> have been that December 9th was Dim Sum Day in Winnipeg and I just straight-up dropped the ball by not celebrating it. Augh, I can't believe I forgot Dim Sum Day! <i>God</i>. <br />
<br />
And if we <i>don't</i> have a Dim Sum Day, well, what are we waiting for? We should totally establish one, other cities will consider us leaders, it'll be great. DECEMBER NINTH IS DIM SUM DAY NEXT YEAR, THERE, DONE. That's almost a whole year to prepare, everyone make sure you plan accordingly.<br />
<br />
What next? Morris? Get the Morris file!<br />
<br />
[ <a href="http://townofmorris.ca/an-open-letter-to-gordon-sinclair-winnipeg-free-press/">Town of Morris: An Open Letter to Gordon Sinclair -- Winnipeg Free Press</a> ( originally posted <a href="http://scottcrick.com/2013/11/30/enough-is-enough/">here</a> ) ]<br />
"<i>My word, be a journalist for a change.</i>"<br />
<br />
Morris Town Councillor Scott Crick offers a spirited defence of his town in this piece, aiming it directly at Gordon Sinclair because folks are generally pretty okay with Sinclair being singled out. If he'd complained specifically about out-of-towners generally, or Winnipeggers in particular, it'd've made it rather more difficult to win readers over -- but whenever it's Gordon Sinclair, regardless of what the protest is, there are a not inconsiderable number of people who'll be willing to go "ha, yeah, pfft. Heck with <i>that</i> guy."<br />
<br />
He also argues that "<i>I’ve seen nothing in Morris to equal the racism and homophobia I saw growing up in Winnipeg</i>", which is an entirely fair discussion point; I don't know if who's-more-bigoted can be properly quantified, exactly, but Winnipeggers bringing Morris up for discussion (and, yes, derision) mustn't forget in doing so that Winnipeg and the rest of Manitoba do have a fair ways to go on the ol' backwards-thinking file too.<br />
<br />
So having established Crick's argument of potential danger in typecasting a community by sensationalizing isolated incidents, let us move to the Interlake beat--<br />
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[ <a href="http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/manitoba/gay-away-gimmick-candy-at-manitoba-store-offends-parents-1.2460527">CBC Manitoba: 'Gay Away' gimmick candy at Manitoba store offends parents</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/national/manitoba-store-pulls-gay-away-novelty-candy/article15906466/">The Globe and Mail: Manitoba store pulls 'Gay Away' novelty candy after public complaints</a> ]<br />
DAMMIT, GIMLI<br />
<br />
WHAT ARE YOU, MORRIS? KNOCK THAT OFF<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Haaa, but f'real, though. If something comes up in Morris again -- or "when something comes up", depending on your level of cynicism -- this'll definitely be a story that they point to in their defence. "Well, why wasn't <i>Gimli</i> branded a homophobic town?" And the answer'll be somewhere between "Winnipeggers just like Gimli better" and "stories that include an actual apology at some point tend not to linger nearly as long", but they'll have a case.<br />
<br />
Moving now into the culture section:<br />
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[ <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/del-barber/winnipeg-music-scene_b_4404520.html">Huffington Post: A Brief History of Winnipeg's Music Scene and Why It Matters</a> ]<br />
Written in advance of a Winnipeg-songs-showcase concert in Toronto, local singer-songwriter Del Barber offers a lovely little character sketch of our fair city's musical history and most beloved venues. And to supplement this broad overview and understanding of Winnipeg music and culture, may I also submit the following:<br />
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[ <a href="http://members.shaw.ca/happypuppyrecords/hpr041_Cosmopolitans.html">Happy Puppy Records: The Cosmopolitans - It's Cosmopolitan Time! [hpr041]</a> ]<br />
This album, free for your downloading and listening pleasure, includes a recording of Winnipeg public-access mainstays The Cosmopolitans performing Brooks & Dunn's "Boot Scootin' Boogie". Remember how I've wished that "Winnipeg" were an adjective? Well, it's hard to get more Winnipeg than the sentence I just typed to open this paragraph.<br />
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I've edited the song and its preamble together into a single file <a href="http://www.mediafire.com/listen/gumglergr178d8n/The+Cosmopolitans+-+Boot+Scootin%27+Boogie+%28Edit%29.mp3">here</a> for my own convenience -- getting my roadtrip music in order, y'know how it is -- and yes, as you may notice, it also ends up sounding a heck of a lot like Dion's "The Wanderer". I roam a<i>round</i> around around around around around a-boot-<i>scoot</i>in'-booGIEEEEEEE<br />
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And, finally:<br />
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[<a href="http://www.winnipegsun.com/2013/12/07/study-finds-14-of-smokers-puffing-contraband">Winnipeg Sun: Study finds 14% of smokers puffing contraband</a> ]<br />
I'm not a cigarette kind of guy, but I do know a fair number of smokers, and that estimate of 14% contraband usage among puffers in "<i>the province that charges the most of any Canadian province for cigarettes</i>" sounds... low, actually. Huh! Well, the more you know.<br />
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I don't smoke tobacco, as I'd mentioned, but my Dad does, and because he knows my predilections for cheerful subversion -- of course he knows, they're his too -- he bestowed upon me a shirt that he'd happened to pick up from the <a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/canada/police-raids-on-smoke-shop-called-robberies-224189321.html">since-governmentally-closed</a> Dakota Chundee Smoke Shop in Pipestone:<br />
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<a href="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/pipestonesmokeshirt102413.jpg"> <img src="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/pipestonesmokeshirt102413.jpg" title="This is very possibly the classiest shirt I own. (Click to Enlarge)" width="400" height="600"></a><br />
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I don't know where on earth I'm ever going to have the opportunity to wear it, but <i>my</i>, would you look at that. A treasure very nearly lost to time! It was, alas, already a tad yellowed upon my receiving it; one day I might set upon the project of restoring it to its original glory, and then see how long it takes to get thrown out of the Palm Room or somewhere like that.<br />
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(It's a shame I can't wrangle it onto <a href="http://slurpeesandmurder.blogspot.ca/2013/02/help-brother-out-longform-web-layout.html">my Mulroney</a>.)<br />
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Thank you for reading <a href="http://slurpeesandmurder.blogspot.ca/search/label/ManLinkWeek">ManLinkWeek</a>! If you were disappointed that tonight's post didn't include anything about provincial slogans -- well, just you wait. Ohhhh, just you <i>wait</i>!<p>James Hope Howardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18143628957923923335noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35424944.post-69346369614799305512013-12-10T22:13:00.001-06:002013-12-11T04:17:29.628-06:00Slurpees and Murder Record Club: Ladies and Gentlemen, Prepare Yourselves for 92 CITI-FM's "Winnipeg's Rock 'N Roll Christmas, Volume II"<p>Happy holidays, you infidel atheists! Welcome to the <a href="http://slurpeesandmurder.blogspot.ca/search/label/SMRC">Slurpees and Murder Record Club</a>; as we draw closer to Christmas Day, I think it's important that we all collectively take the time to appreciate the seasonally appropriate output of local musicians past and present. <br />
<br />
In my <a href="http://slurpeesandmurder.blogspot.ca/2013/12/manitoba-links-weekly-when-everyones.html">last post</a> I'd linked to some suitably seasonal material curated as a <a href="http://www.manitobamusic.com/holiday">Manitoba Music playlist</a>, but what I am about to present to you -- what you are about to <i>hear</i> -- has largely escaped detection until now, and really for the past twenty years or so. An oddity, a rarity, a treasure lost to time; it just so happened that I rescued a copy from a thrift store earlier this year, and it further just so happened that it played in exquisitely fine quality. (Believe me, with cassettes, you can't assume <i>any</i>thing.)<br />
<br />
Behold as I beheld, friends:<br />
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<a href="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/20131210rocknrollxmasvol2/1000x.jpg"><img src="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/20131210rocknrollxmasvol2/1000x.jpg" title="92 CITI-FM, ''Winnipeg's Rock 'N Roll Christmas Volume II'', edited front cover. I'm very big on properly squaring album art when embedding it into the ID3 tags of MP3 files, and I do hope that you appreciate the effort upon downloading the album. (Click to Enlarge)" width="600" height="600"></a><br />
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THE LEGENDS ARE TRUE, IT'S REAL<br />
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<a href="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/20131210rocknrollxmasvol2/fullcover.jpg"><img src="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/20131210rocknrollxmasvol2/fullcover.jpg" title="92 CITI-FM, ''Winnipeg's Rock 'N Roll Christmas Volume II'', full outside/front cover. (Click to Enlarge)" width="600" height="320"></a><br />
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<a href="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/20131210rocknrollxmasvol2/insidecover.jpg"><img src="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/20131210rocknrollxmasvol2/insidecover.jpg" title="92 CITI-FM, ''Winnipeg's Rock 'N Roll Christmas Volume II'', inside cover. This is quite the interesting shoutouts list. (Click to Enlarge)" width="600" height="320"></a><br />
<br />
<a href="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/20131210rocknrollxmasvol2/sidea.jpg"><img src="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/20131210rocknrollxmasvol2/sidea.jpg" title="92 CITI-FM, ''Winnipeg's Rock 'N Roll Christmas Volume II'', cassette design. (Click to Enlarge)" width="600" height="374"></a><br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.mediafire.com/download/58lr0m4ji7r0cj7/92%20CITI-FM%20-%20Winnipeg's%20Rock%20'N%20Roll%20Christmas%2C%20Volume%20II.rar"><u>92 CITI-FM - Winnipeg's Rock 'N Roll Christmas, Volume II</u></a> (undated, cassette)<br />
<font size="1">[ none of the websites for any of parties involved officially acknowledge the existence of this album | there is also absolutely nowhere on the internet for you to buy a physical copy, believe me, I checked | part of the original release's proceedings went to the Winnipeg Christmas Cheer Board, so <a href="http://www.christmascheerboard.ca/donations.php">donate here</a> if you dig it ]</font><br />
<br />
Ace Burpee once declared this compilation cassette "<i><a href="http://www.winnipegsun.com/news/winnipeg/2008/12/12/7723026-sun.html">the greatest Christmas album in history</a></i>"; I don't know if I'd go <i>that</i> far, but my word, it is certainly a fascinating local artifact.<br />
<br />
The images that you see above are everything that I had to go on, which means you're as lost as I am about when this album was actually released. Or as lost as I <i>was</i>, at least, before I started digging. (If there is one thing that I can be counted upon to do, it is dig.)<br />
<br />
Library and Archives Canada has no record for the second album, but entered <a href="http://www.collectionscanada.gc.ca/canadiana-authorities/index/view?cdnAutNbr=0061G9055E&format=full&index_name=heading&search_text=&page=47&filter=">what is most likely Volume I</a> into their catalogue at the end of 1990. This would suggest, with Volume I dropping around Christmas 1990, that Volume II was most likely released for the 1991 Christmas season. But what makes me <i>most</i> confident about that Christmas-1991 supposition -- nay, almost certain of it! -- is that Alice in Chains' "Man in the Box" was first released in March of 1991. <br />
<br />
That detail, I'm sure, seems unrelated. "Look at this clown," I'm sure you're thinking to yourself. "What does <i>that</i> have to do with anything? What seemingly-unrelated, Hercule-Poirot-esque connection is he about to attempt that would make those two plot points connect?" <br />
<br />
Well, wonder no more, friends; clicking the link below will allow you to listen to the following song, which will doubtlessly resolve all of your curiosities about my judgment.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.mediafire.com/listen/rdrgmb70uburfkj/Shake%20Naked%20-%20We%20Three%20Kings%20(92%20CITI-FM%20Winnipeg's%20Rock%20'N%20Roll%20Christmas%2C%20Vol.%20II).mp3"><u>Shake Naked - We Three Kings</u></a><br />
<font size="1">[ no official band page exists, although in fairness their career predated the internet | the group's main claim to fame is having produced drummer <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brent_Fitz">Brent Fitz</a> | I do not recommend ever Googling "Shake Naked" ]</font><br />
<br />
<i>That is Alice in Chains' "Man in the Box"</i>. That is, without question, a slightly-altered "Man in the Box" with the lyrics to Christmas classic "We Three Kings" laid over it. If this release <i>had</i> preceded the Alice in Chains song, I can assure, I would have absolutely lost my mind over it (more so than I already have) -- but no, I tell myself, the most rational explanation is that it does not. <br />
<br />
Putting that tune aside -- if one can, anyway, <i>I</i> certainly can't -- putting that tune aside, there's a surprising dearth of rock going on in "Winnipeg's Rock 'N Roll Christmas" here. A lot of ballads, to be sure, and one or two songs that I will quite generously describe as "borderline unlistenable"; that, I suspect, is the nature of regional compilations. All of it interesting, though! Interesting artifacts from Winnipeg artists and groups otherwise lost to time, an album well worth your investigation.<br />
<br />
So let me know what you made of it in the comments section below; with the variety offered across this album, I'm sure that you'll both find something you like and find something you hate.<br />
<br />
Thank you for reading this installment of the <a href="http://slurpeesandmurder.blogspot.ca/search/label/SMRC">Slurpees and Murder Record Club</a>; I'll be on the air tomorrow with <a href="http://archives.winnipeginternetpundits.com/">Winnipeg Internet Pundits</a> and back on the blogging beat later this week with <a href="http://slurpeesandmurder.blogspot.ca/search/label/ManLinkWeek">ManLinkWeek</a>, so you haven't seen the last of me yet. Until then, true believers!<p>James Hope Howardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18143628957923923335noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35424944.post-36969591138568817752013-12-07T18:44:00.000-06:002013-12-08T10:50:14.306-06:00Manitoba Links Weekly: When Everyone is Essential No One Will Be, December is Inevitably List Month, The Most Winnipeggian Present Imaginable, and Here are the Manitoba PCs Arguing for MORE SPECIALTY LICENCE PLATES (ManLinkWeek S02E07)<p><img src="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/mbpc_MOREPLATES.jpg" title="NO, STOP THAT"><br />
<br />
Earlier this week I compiled a <a href="http://slurpeesandmurder.blogspot.ca/2013/12/a-field-guide-to-specialty-licence.html">field guide to Manitoba specialty licence plates</a>, nine of which (NINE of which) have been released and promoted by the governing NDP within the last three years. That dropped on Tuesday; on Thursday, the official opposition Progressive Conservatives circulated a press release to argue that -- wait for it -- MANITOBA NEEDS ANOTHER SPECIALTY PLATE. The orange guys brag about nine specialty plates in three years, the blue guys complain it should be <i>ten</i> specialty plates in three years, and I want to light my ballot on fire. There's your provincial politics update. [ <a href="http://twitter.com/Gramiq/status/408691781404868608">via</a> ]<br />
<br />
Hello and welcome to <a href="http://slurpeesandmurder.blogspot.ca/search/label/ManLinkWeek">Manitoba Links Weekly</a>! <a href="http://archives.winnipeginternetpundits.com/post/69029285050/december-4th-2013-we-are-the-2-95-james-john">This week on Winnipeg Internet Pundits</a> -- yes it was a full show this week, quiet you -- we discussed the City's preliminary budget, its controversial mandatory-unpaid-leave proposal for non-essential employees (more on that in a second), the continued wave of hypothetical Scott Fielding initiatives, and the death of the Montcalm Hotel so that <a href="http://www.mococondos.ca/">condos</a> may rise in its place. I have a long and fascinating story about working the front desk of a two-and-a-half-star hotel on Christmas Eve, but I'll save that one as its own special beast for some other time.<br />
<br />
Right now, it's time for <a href="http://slurpeesandmurder.blogspot.ca/search/label/ManLinkWeek">ManLinkWeek</a>! First things first:<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
[ <a href="http://www.manitobamusic.com/holiday">Manitoba Music: Happy Holidays From Your Friends At Manitoba Music</a> ]<br />
You've <i>probably</i> noticed -- <font size="1">you infidel atheists</font> -- you've probably noticed that the holiday season is now upon us. And the holiday season, of course, means Christmas music! (I'd say "holiday music", but I'd be lying. Not a lot of "I Have a Little Dreidel" playing in the department stores right now.)<br />
<br />
So the fine folks at Manitoba Music have put together a 52(!)-track seasonal playlist of local tunes for your listening enjoyment, and below that a listing of the themed local concerts you can look forward to through the next few weeks. Give it a listen and a look! It makes for a nice change of pace from the same ten or eleven recordings from fifty years ago that you'll hear way too many times this month, and furthermore it'll keep your spirits up for the next segment.<br />
<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegsun.com/2013/12/05/gerbasi-outraged-by-city-job-cuts">Winnipeg Sun: Gerbasi 'outraged' by city job cuts</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/breakingnews/Committee-split-over-city-budget-234634221.html">Winnipeg Free Press: City unable to define 'essential services'</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://metronews.ca/news/winnipeg/876269/forced-unpaid-leave-criticized-at-committee-meeting/">Metro Winnipeg: Forced unpaid leave criticized at committee meeting</a> ]<br />
We asked amongst ourselves on Winnipeg Internet Pundits this Wednesday: if the proposed three and a half days of unpaid leave are for "non-essential employees" of the City of Winnipeg, does the City know who it <i>means</i> by non-essential employees? <br />
<br />
It emerged the next day that, well, no, of course they don't. (I don't know why I expected anything else, thinking back on that now.)<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p>Community services still defining who qualifies as non-essential workers to take 3.5 unpaid days off in holidays. <a href="https://twitter.com/search?q=%23winnipeg&src=hash">#winnipeg</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/search?q=%23wpgcouncil&src=hash">#wpgcouncil</a></p>— Joyanne Pursaga (@pursagawpgsun) <a href="https://twitter.com/pursagawpgsun/statuses/408667161704411136">December 5, 2013</a></blockquote><script async src="//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script><br />
<br />
Now, I want you to remember: this motion is being touted as a necessary belt-tightening that will result in "<i>an estimated savings</i>" of $1.5 million. But it hasn't really been explained how one reaches that estimate without knowing how many employees it <i>covers</i> -- and the <i>reasons</i> we don't know how many employees it covers are 1) we don't know what 'non-essential' means, and 2) <a href="http://www.winnipegsun.com/2013/09/13/city-doesnt-know-how-many-fte-workers-it-employes">we don't know how many employees the City <i>has</i></a>. WHAT ARE YOU DOING, THIS ISN'T HOW ESTIMATES WORK. <b>ARGH</b><br />
<br />
MOVING ON<br />
<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/local/hard-numbers-present-city---warts-and-all-234188831.html">Winnipeg Free Press: Hard numbers present city - warts and all</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.mypeg.ca/">peg Community Indicator Systems: Welcome!</a> ]<br />
Ah, good. Numbers! <i>Data</i>. Much better. I feel better already, good, thank you for this. <br />
<br />
I'd like to see a campaign like that, one day. <i>This holiday season, give the gift... of data.</i> I think that'd be nice. (It'd work on me, heck.)<br />
<br />
[ <a href="http://www.beercrank.ca/2013/11/interview-with-portage-avenue-brewworks.html">BeerCrank.ca: Interview with Portage Avenue BrewWorks' Darren Wanless</a> ]<br />
Had you been wondering about the latest on that brewpub-in-progress you'd heard about earlier this year? Well, wonder no more: ongoing location changes, legal framework discussion and "<i>the gopher effect</i>" are some of the topics touched on in this interview with Wawanesa's own Darren Wanless.<br />
<br />
Back over now to the festive beat:<br />
<br />
[ <a href="http://uniter.ca/series/uniter-30-2013">The Uniter: The Uniter 30</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://metronews.ca/features/100-most-fascinating-manitobans-of-2013/870714/ace-burpees-100-most-fascinating-manitobans-for-2013/">Metro Winnipeg: Ace Burpee's 100 Most Fascinating Manitobans for 2013</a> ]<br />
Yes, folks, it's that time of year again -- December! And December means end-of-year lists, regardless of how far we've actually made it through December so far. With 100 entries on the Ace Burpee list and three (or more, for ties) finalists in each of the 30 Uniter categories, it's all but guaranteed you'll be a heck of a lot better informed about the year in local culture than you were before you started reading. <br />
<br />
And speaking of thematic end-of-year lists:<br />
<br />
[ <a href="http://spectatortribune.com/article/the-2013-osborne-village-gift-guide-vol-i/">Spectator Tribune: The 2013 Osborne Village Gift Guide Vol. I</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/opinion/columnists/trail-tested-and-cheap-gifts-for-gearheads-234867261.html">Winnipeg Free Press: Trail-tested (and cheap) gifts for gearheads</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://westenddumplings.blogspot.ca/2013/12/the-2013-local-history-buffs-holiday.html">West End Dumplings: The 2013 Local History Buff's Holiday Gift Guide</a> ]<br />
Nobody's ever a difficult enough person to say "no" when asked if they like buying local, so, hey: folks, do you like buying <i>local</i>? Well, here're a few different gift guides that'll help you support local makers and local businesses, no matter <i>who</i> you're shopping for! <br />
<br />
And speaking of local items that are sure to be a hit -- I've been saving this one, oh my goodness, I've been saaaaaaving this one -- no matter <i>who</i> you're shopping for, be they irony-embracing hipsters or earnestly eager civic boosters, this is surely the Winnipeg gift item guaranteed to please:<br />
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[ <a href="http://www.bkstr.com/ProductDisplay/10001-10035-112904-69533403-1?demoKey=d">The University of Winnipeg: University of Winnipeg Sweatpants</a> ]<br />
<img src="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/uofwsweatpants.jpg" title="OH MY GOD YES"><br />
If you've ever been through the University of Winnipeg bookstore, you may have seen these before; if you haven't, <i>surprise</i>, here is the Winnipeg gift to end all Winnipeg gifts. Literally <i>and</i> figuratively, sweatpants that <i>just say "Winnipeg"</i>. GLORIOUS. <br />
<br />
Can I top that? I cannot top that. So thank you for reading this week's edition of <a
href="http://slurpeesandmurder.blogspot.ca/search/label/ManLinkWeek">Manitoba Links Weekly</a>! Coming up in next week's installment: more music! More new local websites! More Morris fallout! <i>And more</i>! So we'll see you again next Saturday, if not sooner, for the next episode of <a href="http://slurpeesandmurder.blogspot.ca/search/label/ManLinkWeek">ManLinkWeek</a>!<p>James Hope Howardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18143628957923923335noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35424944.post-9669521983010714502013-12-03T21:53:00.000-06:002013-12-07T11:13:58.133-06:00A Field Guide to the Specialty Licence Plates of the Province of Manitoba<p>Well, friends, it has come to this. <br />
<br />
Following yesterday's surprise, and yet somehow not altogether surprising, announcement of <a href="http://news.gov.mb.ca/news/print,index.html?item=19791">curling specialty plates</a> -- because of <i>course</i> Manitoba is putting out more specialty licence plates -- I was inspired to put together a helpful and timely little collection of specialty-plate info. Because, really, at the rate they've appeared as late, it's only going to get harder to keep track of them all and keep them all straight in one's head. ("We have <i>how</i> many plates about fish?")<br />
<br />
I'm reserving the scope of this guide to specialty plates with visual design changes, which leaves out <a href="http://www.mpi.mb.ca/en/Reg-and-Ins/Registration/Plates/pages/reg-ve4.aspx">amateur radio operator plates</a>; in researching this post I learned that they're <a href="http://www.rac.ca/en/amateur-radio/regulatory/callsigns/canadian.php">coordinated across the country</a>, indistinguishable from standard plates except by their character sets, and serve a functional rather than purely aesthetic purpose by relaying the operator's call sign. The More You Know!<br />
<br />
Limiting my focus to aesthetic changes that received a full promotional blitz from the Province -- news releases, special press conferences, media coverage, the whole kit 'n' kaboodle -- there have been ten specialty licence plates unveiled in the past decade, and you'll see why that's funny in a second.<br />
<br />
Please enjoy this field guide to Manitoba specialty licence plates, in chronological order of first appearance:<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
<img src="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/20131203fieldguide/001veterans.jpg" title="Veteran Licence Plates, November 2004"> ( <a href="http://www.plateshack.com/y2k/Manitoba/mby2k.html">image credit</a> )<br />
<br />
<b>Species:</b> Veteran Licence Plates<br />
<b>First Sighted:</b> November 5th, 2004<br />
<b>Classification:</b> Vxx ###<br />
<b>Colour Scheme</b>: Blue text on white background with green and yellow design framing, accentuated by modest but significant additions of red. <br />
<b>Distinctive Markings:</b> Remembrance poppy at centre of plate; Canadian flag replacing "Friendly" beside the Manitoba typeface.<br />
<b>Signature Call:</b> "VETERAN"<br />
<b>Gradient Action:</b> None. I'm just going to go on record right now as vastly preferring solid-colour-artwork background designs to comparatively-lazy gradient-slider backgrounds, which probably foreshadows the fun I'm about to have.<br />
<b>Press Conference Provincial Representative:</b> Ron Lemieux<br />
<b>Also Offered for Motorcycles?:</b> <a href="http://www.mpi.mb.ca/en/PDFs/VeteranPlateBro.pdf">Yes</a>.<br />
<b>Notes:</b> <br />
The issuing sequence for these plates began at VAA 000; all sources note that the series jumps straight from VAF to VAH, for what are probably very obvious reasons. And I was a little surprised to learn in my research that, as it turns out, veteran plates aren't offered everywhere across the country; Nunavut remains a holdout, in what I'm sure will spark a fascinating discussion someday soon up there.<br />
<br />
The veteran plates are very much an outlier, in that -- rather unlike most of the rest of this list -- the specialty touch is a reserved and tasteful addition to the existing plates, weaving itself gracefully into the provincial fabric. Folks with these plates are Manitobans just the same as you and I are, but with that additional something special marked and incorporated into the detail of their identity. I always liked that. Also unique: while the majority of the plates on this list weigh in at a $70 fee, the veteran plates are instead a modest $5 admin charge.<br />
<br />
But perhaps most germanely to its outlier status, this was the only specialty plate of the Gary Doer era; in fact, this is the only item on this list <i>not</i> released within the last three years. So strap in, we're heading into a whirlwind.<br />
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<img src="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/20131203fieldguide/002bombers.jpg" title="Winnipeg Blue Bombers Licence Plates, April 2011"> ( <a href="http://www.cfl.ca/article/specialty-plates-available-for-bomber-fans">image credit</a> )<br />
<br />
<b>Species:</b> Winnipeg Blue Bombers Licence Plates<br />
<b>First Sighted:</b> April 21, 2011<br />
<b>Classification:</b> BB####<br />
<b>Colour Scheme</b>: Dark blue on blue with gold. Well, yellow, I mean, but "gold". There've been a lot of different golds throughout the Bombers' history. (Also, I've just noticed that sometime between 2004 and 2011 the Manitoba wordmark switched over to boldface.)<br />
<b>Distinctive Markings:</b> The Bombers' throwback logo, somewhat curiously, as the <a href="http://www.sportslogos.net/logos/view/6246/Winnipeg_Blue_Bombers/2005/Primary_Logo">italicized lightning-football W</a> was the Bombers' primary logo at the time.<br />
<b>Signature Call:</b> "CELEBRATING FAILURE". Well, okay, no, "TRUE BLUE". But you were thinking it too. (Try not to think too hard about "TRUE BLUE" being written in yellow.)<br />
<b>Gradient Action:</b> partly cloudy<br />
<b>Press Conference Provincial Representative:</b> Andrew Swan<br />
<b>Also Offered for Motorcycles?:</b> No. (Or not these ones, anyway, but we'll get to that later.)<br />
<b>Notes:</b> <br />
When we think about the Province's specialty-licence-plate madness, this is where it all begins. And, as is often the case with Manitoban issues, we can blame this at least partially on Saskatchewan.<br />
<br />
The Saskatchewan Roughriders were <a href="http://www.sgi.sk.ca/about/newsreleases/2010/riderplates.html">the first to develop specialty plates</a> in 2010, celebrating the team's 100th anniversary, and then Manitoba got kind of weird and defensive about it because that's what we do when other places have things we don't. Where are <i>our</i> team's specialty plates? We're... we're special too, right?<br />
<br />
Sure enough, the success of the Saskatchewan experiment motivated a limited-edition 8,100-plate run of Winnipeg Blue Bombers specialty plates the next year; the 8,100 plates subsequently selling out at $70 a pop, with MPI gaining $40 on each sale, set the stage for all of the plates to follow. And if there's one team that's proven a <a href="http://metronews.ca/voices/urban-compass-winnipeg/871268/do-the-jets-owe-us-money/">licence to print money</a>: <br />
<br />
<img src="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/20131203fieldguide/003jets.jpg" title="Winnipeg Jets Licence Plates, November 2011"> ( <a href="http://www.w-a.com/hockeypl8.htm">image credit</a> )<br />
<br />
<b>Species:</b> Winnipeg Jets Licence Plates<br />
<b>First Sighted:</b> November 15, 2011<br />
<b>Classification:</b> WJ#### / J##### <br />
<b>Colour Scheme</b>: Polar blue on light blue with white, as well as the slight touch of red in the logo.<br />
<b>Distinctive Markings:</b> The roundel that heralded Canada's plunge into a militaristic dystopia, if I remember that Tyler Shipley article correctly. ("<a href="http://rabble.ca/news/2011/07/save-our-jets-new-winnipeg-jets-logo-sacrifices-nostalgia-militarism">It all starts to feel pretty George W. Bush.</a>")<br />
<b>Signature Call:</b> "FUELLED by PASSION"; we're all still waiting for that one to grow on us, aren't we<br />
<b>Gradient Action:</b> melting rocket-popsicle<br />
<b>Press Conference Provincial Representative:</b> Greg Selinger<br />
<b>Also Offered for Motorcycles?:</b> <a href="http://news.gov.mb.ca/news/index.html?item=17152">Yes</a>.<br />
<b>Notes:</b> <br />
There was no way these weren't going to happen, especially after the Bombers plates proved as popular as they did. If you're keeping an eye out for them, you probably don't have to look very long; the Jets licences are <a href="http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/manitoba/winnipeg-goldeyes-fans-hook-specialty-licence-plates-1.1409508">by far the highest-selling specialty plates</a>. (And also the <a href="http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/manitoba/jets-bombers-licence-plates-popular-with-thieves-1.1127910">most frequently stolen</a>.)<br />
<br />
Both the Bombers and Jets base their brand identity around the colour blue, which allowed for some design consistency; Manitoba licence plates have blue plate numbers and a blue wordmark, so blue logos and blue backgrounds were an easy fit. But what would happen if other colours were introduced?<br />
<br />
<img src="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/20131203fieldguide/004firefighters.jpg" title="Firefighter Licence Plates, May 2012"> ( <a href="http://www.plateshack.com/y2k/Manitoba/mby2k.html">image credit</a> )<br />
<br />
<b>Species:</b> Firefighter Licence Plates<br />
<b>First Sighted:</b> May 10, 2012<br />
<b>Classification:</b> WF#### / FF####<br />
<b>Colour Scheme</b>: blerrrrrrgh<br />
<b>Distinctive Markings:</b> The firefighting Maltese cross of courage. The pure red of the cross draws attention to how... <i>not</i>-red most of the background seems by comparison.<br />
<b>Signature Call:</b> "SERVING OUR COMMUNITY"<br />
<b>Gradient Action:</b> smoked salmon<br />
<b>Press Conference Provincial Representative:</b> Greg Selinger <i>and</i> Andrew Swan, unusually<br />
<b>Also Offered for Motorcycles?:</b> <a href="http://www.mpi.mb.ca/en/Reg-and-Ins/Registration/Plates/Pages/firefighterplates.aspx">Yes</a>.<br />
<b>Notes:</b> <br />
As you may have discerned from the lettering split, Winnipeg firefighters and non-Winnipeg firefighters receive different prefixes. Curious little sidenote, that.<br />
<br />
Say what you might about this overall design, it's certainly... striking. It wouldn't be until mid-2013 that Manitoba finally relented and began incorporating black text into their plate designs again; it's sort of a shame they hadn't considered black for this plate, because this solid blue over an off-pinkish fade is... I want to find a nicer word than "disquieting", but man, every time I look away and then look back I feel <i>ruffled</i>. <br />
<br />
The top wordmark being a noticeably different shade than the plate number, yet still no closer to matching the background, adds to the jarring effect of the whole; staring at this plate feels like reading a Lovecraft description, everything constantly shimmering and shifting at the edges of one's consciousness no matter how hard the woefully-limited human brain drives itself mad with the task of discerning it.<br />
<br />
But, I mean, that's just my reaction to it. Everything's subjective, maybe you dig it, it's cool if you like it. Next slide!<br />
<br />
<img src="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/20131203fieldguide/005bombersagain.jpg" title="Winnipeg Blue Bombers Licence Plates, Again"> ( <a href="http://www.plateshack.com/y2k/Manitoba/mby2k.html">image credit</a> )<br />
<br />
<b>Species:</b> Winnipeg Blue Bombers Licence Plates, Again<br />
<b>First Sighted:</b> May 22, 2012<br />
<b>Classification:</b> B##### <br />
<b>Colour Scheme</b>: Blue on gold. Well, tan, I mean, but "gold".<br />
<b>Distinctive Markings:</b> A football helmet with the team's 'new' logo on it, which was pretty well just the old-old logo.<br />
<b>Signature Call:</b> "BLUE BOMBERS", the team wordmark plunked along the bottom<br />
<b>Gradient Action:</b> damp sand<br />
<b>Press Conference Provincial Representative:</b> Andrew Swan<br />
<b>Also Offered for Motorcycles?:</b> <a href="http://news.gov.mb.ca/news/index.html?item=17152">Yes</a>.<br />
<b>Notes:</b> <br />
The second wave of Blue Bomber plates was an almost complete departure from the first, reflecting the full redesign the team made over the 2011-12 offseason. It seemed a perfectly opportune time for a new series of plates; the franchise had fresh new jerseys and logos, the team was coming off an inspiring trip to the 2011 Grey Cup, and <a href="http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/manitoba/bombers-unveil-new-specialty-licence-plate-1.1221055">optimism was running high</a>.<br />
<br />
"<i>'There's a real air of excitement surrounding the football club as it prepares to defend its Eastern Conference title and get back to the Grey Cup,' said Andrew Swan, minister responsible for the Manitoba Public Insurance Corporation (MPI).</i>"<br />
<br />
<a href="http://bluebombers.com/article/blue-bombers-unveil-new-licence-plates">And</a>:<br />
<br />
"<i>'This new licence plate, combined with the Bombers’ new uniforms and logo and helmet design, truly signals the beginning of a new era for the Blue Bomber organization and its loyal fans,' said Swan.</i>"<br />
<br />
Well. <i>That</i> definitely proved true, but not for the reasons people were expecting.<br />
<br />
<img src="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/20131203fieldguide/006bilingual.jpg" title="Bilingual Licence Plates, February 2013"> ( <a href="http://www.plateshack.com/y2k/Manitoba/mby2k.html">image credit</a> )<br />
<br />
<b>Species:</b> Bilingual Licence Plates<br />
<b>First Sighted:</b> February 19, 2013<br />
<b>Classification:</b> Standard (xxx ###)<br />
<b>Colour Scheme</b>: Standard<br />
<b>Distinctive Markings:</b> Standard, save for--<br />
<b>Signature Call:</b> "Bienvenue"<br />
<b>Gradient Action:</b> Standard (none)<br />
<b>Press Conference Provincial Representative:</b> Greg Selinger<br />
<b>Also Offered for Motorcycles?:</b> <i>Non</i><br />
<b>Notes:</b> <br />
Well, there's definitely a joke in here about French having no translation for "Friendly", buuuut I think I'll steer clear of that one.<br />
<br />
I was on the fence about whether to list this or not -- it's not <i>that</i> dramatic a change, really, is it? -- but, sure enough, the Province thought that this single word at the bottom of the plate was an important enough addition to <a href="http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/manitoba/bilingual-licence-plates-coming-to-manitoba-roads-1.1349865">justify a special unveiling press conference with the Premier</a>. <br />
<br />
<img src="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/20131203fieldguide/006selinger.jpg" title=""> ( <a href="http://www.chrisd.ca/2013/02/19/manitoba-bilingual-french-licence-plates/">image credit</a> )<br />
<br />
Look at him, he's so proud to show it off, too! Waving his hand along the Bienvenue, like it's a car on The Price is Right. So ultimately I decided, hey, if they counted it, I guess I'm countin' it too.<br />
<br />
If you'd wondered what the going rate is for a single word of French, wonder no longer; drivers with standard, non-bilingual plates (putting aside the question of why bilingual plates <i>aren't</i> standard) can upgrade to the "Bienvenue"-blessed but otherwise unchanged plates for the low, low price of <a href="http://www.mpi.mb.ca/en/Reg-and-Ins/Registration/Plates/Pages/reg-bilingual-plates.aspx">$15</a>. This is, I think we can all agree, a far more viable choice than buying a sticker somewhere else for a dollar and then spending the other $14 on a bag of rice or something.<br />
<br />
Interestingly, veterans have been able to <a href="http://www.mpi.mb.ca/en/Reg-and-Ins/Registration/Plates/Pages/reg-veteranplates.aspx">select any language they wish on their plates</a> since 2004; sightings of <a href="http://www.railbus.ca/mb-liv.html">French, Dutch and Ukrainian</a> have been confirmed, and there are likely other languages somewhere out along the roads as well. Something to keep an eye out for! This <i>is</i> a field guide, after all.<br />
<br />
<img src="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/20131203fieldguide/007goldeyes.jpg" title="Winnipeg Goldeyes Licence Plates, March 2013"> ( <a href="http://www.plateshack.com/y2k/Manitoba/mby2k.html">image credit</a> )<br />
<br />
<b>Species:</b> Winnipeg Goldeyes Licence Plates<br />
<b>First Sighted:</b> March 22, 2013<br />
<b>Classification:</b> G#####<br />
<b>Colour Scheme</b>: Blue text on a white-to-yellowish background (<a href="http://www.goldeyes.com/news/news-releases/324-goldeyes-and-province-hit-a-home-run-with-license-plate">ostensibly a "gold"</a>), with accents of red and grey.<br />
<b>Distinctive Markings:</b> I am pretty sure that fish just pooped that baseball out onto the floor. Which wouldn't have been half as awkward if he hadn't maintained eye contact the entire time.<br />
<b>Signature Call:</b> "GOLDEYES". As far as anyone is aware, that might actually be the Goldeyes' motto.<br />
<b>Gradient Action:</b> Scorched Earth for MS-DOS<br />
<b>Press Conference Provincial Representative:</b> Andrew Swan<br />
<b>Also Offered for Motorcycles?:</b> <a href="http://news.gov.mb.ca/news/index.html?item=17152">Yes</a>.<br />
<b>Notes:</b> <br />
It tells you all you need to know about the Goldeyes that the city's two other professional teams got three other plates first. The team may be fortunate they hit their twentieth anniversary when they did.<br />
<br />
This background is the third different interpretation we've seen of "gold" on this list, although in this case "gold" came out as more of a smeared dijon mustard. Oddly enough, aside from the team's (notably absent) mascot and a little bit of the team logo, you really don't get a lot of gold <i>or</i> yellow out of looking at the Goldeyes. Their <a href="http://goldeyes.com/shop/jerseys">jerseys</a> are white for home games, grey for away games, and red for afternoon games. <a href="http://goldeyes.com/shop/mens/adult-logo-t-shirts-detail">Team merch</a> runs in red, grey, and navy because navy is inescapable. But yellow? Naw, man. <br />
<br />
(I suppose it's possible that the designers considered using a red background, looked at how the firefighters' plates turned out, and decided to just wing it.)<br />
<br />
The plates, to their credit, <a href="http://www.mpi.mb.ca/en/Reg-and-Ins/Registration/Plates/pages/Goldeyes-plates.aspx">are now sold out</a> -- although it must be noted, with that said, that the reason Bombers and Jets plates aren't sold out is because there's enough demand to keep printing them. Still, if the Goldeyes can put together another championship run or two in the next few years, they may be able to shore up enough support that they can earn a second run of plates and unleash their <a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/sports/baseball/goldeyes/goldeyes-reveal-menacing-logo-115545369.html">terrifying steroid monsterfish</a> on motorists all across the province.<br />
<br />
AND SPEAKING OF FISH:<br />
<br />
<img src="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/20131203fieldguide/008fishfutures.jpg" title="Fish Futures Licence Plates, May 2013"> ( <a href="http://www.fishfutures.net/index.php">image credit</a> )<br />
<br />
<b>Species:</b> Fish Futures Licence Plates<br />
<b>First Sighted:</b> May 2, 2013<br />
<b>Classification:</b> ####F<br />
<b>Colour Scheme</b>: Dark blue text and logo over a white background, with an understated light-blue wave design along the bottom half of the plate.<br />
<b>Distinctive Markings:</b> yep, that's a fish<br />
<b>Signature Call:</b> "FISH FUTURES" within the logo; the "TL" represents trailer licences<br />
<b>Gradient Action:</b> none, in a nice change of pace<br />
<b>Press Conference Provincial Representative:</b> Andrew Swan<br />
<b>Also Offered for Motorcycles?:</b> <a href="http://www.mpi.mb.ca/en/Reg-and-Ins/Registration/Plates/Pages/Fish-Futures-Trailer-Plates.aspx">No</a>. I can't remember the last time I saw somebody riding a motorcycle with fishing gear, so this is probably just as well.<br />
<b>Notes:</b> <br />
This, I can say with absolute certainty -- this was the point when I exited the ride.<br />
<br />
There I found myself one day, sitting silently and staring at my computer screen, beholding the newfound information that the Province of Manitoba was holding two fish-themed specialty licence plate press conferences within six weeks of each other. "My god," I thought to myself, "my god, I've been wrong all along: I'm <i>sane</i>. It's the <i>world</i> that's gone crazy."<br />
<br />
Perhaps weirder still than all of that, this is actually one of the more tasteful designs on the list. This is the only specialty trailer plate on the list, and the designers likely recognized that the smaller available space would be overwhelmed by stuffing too many ideas into it. The end product here is simple and clean, refined, even elegant -- my favourite of the two fish plates, certainly, at any rate.<br />
<br />
If you're wondering why the top of this section's image seems cut off, it's because it was; the sheet was never fully flipped off of the giant novelty display plate at the unveiling, and with <a href="http://metronews.ca/news/winnipeg/656686/nothing-fishy-about-provinces-new-specialty-trailer-licence-plates/">only 2,000 Fish Futures plates printed</a> there are precious few other pictures of the plate. Y'know what my other option for this section's image was?<br />
<br />
<img src="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/20131203fieldguide/008tinyfishfuture.png" title="(Actual Size)"> ( <a href="http://www.mpi.mb.ca/en/Reg-and-Ins/Registration/Plates/Pages/Fish-Futures-Trailer-Plates.aspx">image credit</a> )<br />
<br />
That is actual size, look at how tiny that is. Given the nature of the subject material and all, I felt pretty obligated to just throw the little guy back.<br />
<br />
And <i>speaking</i> of throwbacks:<br />
<br />
<img src="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/20131203fieldguide/009collector.jpg" title="Collector Vehicle Licence Plates, July 2013"> [ <a href="http://www.chrisd.ca/2013/07/12/manitoba-collector-licence-plate-vintage-vehicle-owners-insurance-program/">image credit</a> ]<br />
<br />
<b>Species:</b> Collector Vehicle Licence Plates<br />
<b>First Sighted:</b> July 12, 2013<br />
<b>Classification:</b> CL#####<br />
<b>Colour Scheme</b>: Vintage black on vintage yellow.<br />
<b>Distinctive Markings:</b> SO YELLOW <br />
<b>Signature Call:</b> "Collector". Though in <i>my</i> day, if we wanted to tell other motorists something, we had to roll down the window and shout it at 'em.<br />
<b>Gradient Action:</b> none, mercifully<br />
<b>Press Conference Provincial Representative:</b> Andrew Swan<br />
<b>Also Offered for Motorcycles?:</b> <strike>No, oddly. Or at least, not yet.</strike> (Edit: Gerald Huhtala of the Manitoba Association of Auto Clubs <a href="http://slurpeesandmurder.blogspot.ca/2013/12/a-field-guide-to-specialty-licence.html?showComment=1386165100515#c4198486806452034170">notes in the comments</a> that the plates will be available for motorcycles, and can also be personalized.) <br />
<b>Notes:</b> <br />
I'm more taken by this one the longer I research it, although part of that might just be that it gives me so much to research. I do not claim to be a hard man to please.<br />
<br />
These plates are intended for use on well-kept vintage automobiles from a variety of eras, so the goal for the design (I'm hypothesizing) was to create a suitably vintage-inspired look without specifically tying it to any one particular former plate design. The end result is a carefully-balanced hybrid of plate styles from <a href="http://www.worldlicenseplates.com/world/CN_MANI.html">all across the decades</a>, recalling many of the beloved old designs generally but none of them specifically. It doesn't look <i>like</i> the old plates so much as it looks like it <i>belongs</i> in the old plates, if that makes sense. I quite like how they made that work.<br />
<br />
Don't keep an eye out for them, though, at least not yet. These specialty plates won't actually hit the streets until <a href="http://news.gov.mb.ca/news/index.html?item=18112">March 2014</a> at the earliest, as part of a broader Collector Vehicle Program still listed as "<i>pending approval</i>" by the Public Utilities Board. Suppose they don't approve it; is there such a thing as licence-plate vaporware? Goodness, I hope not. <br />
<br />
<img src="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/20131203fieldguide/010curlmanitoba.jpg" title="CurlManitoba Licence Plates, December 2013"> ( <a href="http://globalnews.ca/news/1003516/province-unveils-new-curling-license-plate/">image credit</a> )<br />
<br />
<b>Species:</b> CurlManitoba Licence Plates<br />
<b>First Sighted:</b> December 2, 2013<br />
<b>Classification:</b> CM####<br />
<b>Colour Scheme</b>: Black on various shades of yellow, which -- as <a href="http://twitter.com/policyfrog/status/407597642022014976">Colin Fast pointed out to me</a> -- is traditionally the colour that Manitoban teams wear at national curling competitions. <br />
<b>Distinctive Markings:</b> What appears to be a <a href="http://www.amateurgourmet.com/2008/09/tim_horton_fran.html">Tim Hortons maple doughnut</a>. <br />
<b>Signature Call:</b> "curlingforlife.com". I'm more of a pro-choicer, but let's not start <i>that</i> argument right now. (Also, website addresses on government-issued identification still feels like something that'll take some getting used to.) <br />
<b>Gradient Action:</b> Subdued! Actually quite refreshingly subdued. Blue and red being the primary colours of significance in curling, I'd initially envisioned and feared a half-Jets-half-firefighters abomination. So this is nice.<br />
<b>Press Conference Provincial Representative:</b> Andrew Swan, <a href="http://globalnews.ca/news/1003516/province-unveils-new-curling-license-plate/">dressed quite staggeringly appropriately</a>. <br />
<b>Also Offered for Motorcycles?:</b> No.<br />
<b>Notes:</b> <br />
And here we are, finally, at the tenth and currently most recent item on our list. Well, unless they've announced another one today while I was writing, let me just doublecheck quickly and--nope! Nope, we're still good. <br />
<br />
If we put aside the frequency of specialty plates for the moment and evaluate them on a case-by-case basis, all things considered, I have to say I'm not mad at this one. The softness of the rock logo feels a little clip-art-y for my liking, and a licence plate web address in lieu of a slogan is not something I've entirely quite steeled myself against yet, but we actually do seem to be making progress over previous efforts. <br />
<br />
For one thing, the murky gradient hells of earlier models appear to be naturally phasing themselves out; for another thing, that black rather than blue print really does make a world of difference in anchoring the design. (It <i>is</i> strange that we've seemed to move from our blue period to our sort-of-yellow period, though.) So perhaps there is hope! We do seem to be on an upward curve, so as long as MPI continues releasing new specialty plates -- and they don't seem likely to be slowing down any time soon -- it's possible that the looks of them might continue improving as well.<br />
<br />
A little fun with numbers: if you include the 2004 veterans plate in the dataset, the ten plates over ten years averages out to one specialty plate release a year. If you remove the veterans plate, the average jumps to three plates a year. (Numbers never lie, but you can coax almost any testimony you want out of them.)<br />
<br />
Which of the ten plates do you like best? What new specialty plates do you anticipate, or what new plates would you want to see? Let me know in the comments below! As you have probably been able to tell, I am finding myself interested in licence plates.<br />
<br />
Thank you for reading!<p>James Hope Howardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18143628957923923335noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35424944.post-43021472495171997862013-11-30T23:48:00.000-06:002013-12-07T18:14:05.532-06:00Manitoba Links Weekly: It's a Bit Easier Being Green Than it Used to Be, I Hope a Weekly Provencher Facepalm Doesn't Have to Be a Thing, COOKIES, and Here's Brian Pallister Wishing All You Infidel Atheists Out There a Merry Christmas (ManLinkWeek S02E06)<p><iframe width="560" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/iFC84HPzEyU" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br />
I, uh... appreciate the... effort? I appreciate that you tried. You, uh, hey, you have a good one too.<br />
<br />
Hello and welcome to <a href="http://slurpeesandmurder.blogspot.ca/search/label/ManLinkWeek">Manitoba Links Weekly</a>!<br />
<br />
<a href="http://archives.winnipeginternetpundits.com/post/68317697085/november-27th-and-then-suddenly-live-radio-this">This week on Winnipeg Internet Pundits</a> was one-third-repeat and two-thirds-new, because it snowed on Wednesday and roads are impassable when y'all keep driving into each other. (I passed four -- four! -- accidents on my way to the University, including one that snarled Pembina southbound for the better part of forever. Manitoba has the <a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/local/manitobans-dont-roll-on-winter-tires-181961121.html">nation's lowest rate of winter-tire use</a>, just coincidentally.) <br />
<br />
But! In the back two-thirds of said show we covered the <a href="http://www.brandonsun.com/opinion/blogs/grant-hamilton/Narrow-Maguire-win-Best-possible-result-233463471.html">fascinatingly close Brandon-Souris byelection</a> and its wildly, <i>historically</i> inaccurate polling -- <a href="http://winnipegcat.blogspot.ca/2013/11/november-26th-2013.html">TWENTY-NINE POINTS LOL</a> -- as well as the very, very exciting <a href="http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/manitoba/university-of-winnipeg-unveils-plan-for-27m-residence-1.2439463">University of Winnipeg</a> <a href="http://johndobbin.blogspot.ca/2013/11/new-university-of-winnipeg-housing.html">apartment-tower announcement</a>. Hey, <i>some</i>one's gotta build them, and it's not like the U of W doesn't already have plenty of valuable experience building things around there.<br />
<br />
Speaking of radio -- segue! -- remember the CKUW 95.9 mystery show that <a href="http://twitter.com/PriceScott91">Scott Price</a> and I had collaborated on earlier this month? We spent an hour on the airwaves gushing over some of our favourite bass performances, and I am pleased to report that the audio of that show is now mirrored <a href="http://www.mediafire.com/?lvloiy3nbbfrzb7">here</a> for your listening and downloading pleasure. (Also, I couldn't resist: to honour the <a href="http://www.pcworld.com/article/2064877/the-end-of-an-era-winamps-shutting-down.html">death</a> of <a href="http://techland.time.com/2013/11/21/saying-goodbye-to-winamp-with-one-last-spin/">Winamp</a>, I've listed the ID3 genre as "Primus".)<br />
<br />
This concludes our weekly radio preamble; commence the <a href="http://slurpeesandmurder.blogspot.ca/search/label/ManLinkWeek">ManLinkWeek</a>! Let's start with a quiet but noteworthy provincial exit:<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
[ <a href="http://greenparty.mb.ca/press_releases/manitoba-greens-receive-leader%E2%80%99s-resignation">Green Party of Manitoba: Manitoba Greens receive Leader's resignation</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/local/Beddome-steps-down-as-Green-Party-of-Manitoba-leader-233069941.html">Winnipeg Free Press: Beddome steps down as Green Party of Manitoba leader</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/manitoba/james-beddome-resigns-as-manitoba-green-party-leader-1.2437348">CBC Manitoba: James Beddome resigns as Manitoba Green Party leader</a> ]<br />
The Green Party of Manitoba will become the third party in two years to appoint new leadership, with James Beddome having now announced his intentions to step down and establish his legal career. Beddome's five-year run as leader saw the party roughly double its field of candidates and its subsequent overall vote total in the 2011 election, momentum the party will doubtlessly hope to continue with its eventual choice of successor. <br />
<br />
So congratulations to James Beddome on the completion of his law degree, and all the best to him in his future endeavours; he was truly a politician of a different age. By which I mean, he looked a lot like the Tenth Doctor, and we're already up to the Twelfth Doctor now.<br />
<br />
<font size="1">(before anyone spoils that joke, c'mon man don't, I saw the same Moffat blurb you did but don't be that guy to everyone else)</font><br />
<br />
Also on the provincial newsbeat, here it is, your weekly Provencher facepalm:<br />
<br />
[ <a href="http://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=693874160625207&id=620275167985107">Thea's Diner Facebook Page: While I was recruiting employees for my restaurant(...)</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/local/theres-definitely-people-out-there-who-dont-want-to-see-people-who-are-different-in-morris----thea-morris-the-jamaican-born-owner-and-chief-cook-of-theas-diner-in-morris-233576861.html">Winnipeg Free Press: Diner owner fleeing Morris</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://globalnews.ca/news/993385/morris-restaurant-closes-due-to-alleged-racism/">Global Winnipeg: Morris restaurant closing due to alleged racism</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/national/manitoba-town-in-spotlight-again-over-charges-of-discrimination/article15631729/">The Globe and Mail: Manitoba town in spotlight again over charges of discrimination</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://townofmorris.ca/dear-canada/">Town of Morris: Dear Canada,</a> ]<br />
<br />
<img src="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/FailFish.png" title="(facepalm)" style="border-width: 0"><br />
<br />
This sparked a bit of a flurry of <a href="http://twitter.com/ColinCorneau/status/405743346234036224/photo/1/large">activity</a> around Morris' <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Morris,_Manitoba&action=history">Wikipedia entry</a>, but nothing they couldn't handle; they are, after all, not unaccustomed to this attention. <br />
<br />
Morris residents (Morrisettes?) facing community discrimination for their <a href="http://news.nationalpost.com/2013/01/17/editorial-in-tiny-manitoba-paper-calls-aboriginals-corrupt-lazy-and-terrorists/">ethnicity</a> or their <a href="http://news.nationalpost.com/2013/04/03/slew-of-homophoic-insults-force-gay-restaurant-owners-in-small-manitoba-town-to-close-up-shop/">sexuality</a> can't hope for altogether much in support from their elected representatives; newly-elected MP Ted Falk is <a href="http://www.winnipegsun.com/2013/11/22/falk-called-bully-after-steinbach-interview">not known for his sensitivity</a>, and it's increasingly starting to seem like Morris <a href="http://winnipeg.ctvnews.ca/elections-manitoba-counters-premier-s-rationale-for-deferring-byelection-1.1530978">might never have an MLA again</a>. (291 days vacant as of today, and counting.) That leaves the Mayor of Morris to try and handle it all himself; he finds himself writing a lot of letters and doing a lot of interviews, these days. I hope it's working! I hope that's working for him.<br />
<br />
Man, Morris, you're discouraging. I wish I had something more tangible and measurable to pitch here than "please stop being awful to other human beings", but for now let's go with that as the vision statement and we can hash out a mission statement from there.<br />
<br />
Well! In the interest of not being a total downer, let's move from adults being awful to children being adorable.<br />
<br />
[ <a href="http://northendmc.wordpress.com/2013/11/26/interlake-school-division-rainbow-awesomeness/">North End MC: Interlake School Division Rainbow Awesomeness</a> ]<br />
Ha ha, d'aww. So cute, so promising! Good luck, li'l future leaders; listen to your friend Michael and you'll turn out all right, I think. <br />
<br />
One more Interlake link? What the heck, one more Interlake link.<br />
<br />
[ <a href="http://www.interlaketoday.ca/2013/11/14/take-a-drive-out-to-the-cookie-walk-in-winnipeg-beach">The Interlake Spectator: Take a drive out to the cookie walk in Winnipeg Beach</a> ]<br />
AWW YISS, COOKIES<br />
<br />
Meanwhile, back in Winnipeg:<br />
<br />
[ <a href="http://50witha50.tumblr.com/post/68545950578/day-42-polly-about-to-catch-her-bus-on-portage">50 with a 50: Day 42 Polly about to catch her bus on Portage Avenue.</a> ]<br />
"<i>This picture deserves some back story. It’s just so...WINNIPEG.</i>"<br />
<br />
Free Press editor/producer/photographer/multimedia wizard/so on and so forth <a href="http://twitter.com/meltait">Melissa Tait</a> tasked herself with taking fifty photos over fifty days with a 50mm lens; taking them <i>these</i> particular fifty days has offered <a href="http://50witha50.tumblr.com/post/67632903807/day-33-bus-shelter-on-main-street-outside">plenty</a> of <a href="http://50witha50.tumblr.com/post/67336369070/day-30-winnipegs-first-snowfall-of-the-season">fun</a> <a href="http://50witha50.tumblr.com/post/67545442293/day-32-a-rusted-out-tire-rim-on-the-shores-of-the">with</a> <a href="http://50witha50.tumblr.com/post/68330431404/day-40-walking-portage-avenue-in-the-snow">shots</a>, but this post in particular warrants and then delivers a lifetime's worth of supplementary character notes.<br />
<br />
[ <a href="http://www.belltowercommunitycafe.org/index.php">Bell Tower Community Café: Making good things together</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://blog.belltowercommunitycafe.org/2013/11/putting-community-in-community-cafe.html">Bell Tower Community Café Blog: Putting the community in a community café</a> ]<br />
Not to be confused with the <a href="http://www.facebook.com/northendbelltower">North End (Meet Me at the) Bell Tower</a> (happy <a href="http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=281424225315840&set=a.103168596474738.3922.103162459808685&type=1">second anniversary</a>!), the Bell Tower Community Café is a newly-established partnership of various West End and Wolseley organizations to provide food bank services, community engagement and <a href="http://www.belltowercommunitycafe.org/schedule.php">live music</a> in biweekly café-style events at Westminster Church. It's a creative combination, and a neat use of the space, and I'm always encouraged when people find ways to be kind to each other.<br />
<br />
Yeah, I'm aware, I'm being a bit sappier than usual this week. Spirit of the holidays, in'nt. (It'll pass, trust me; next week's fixing to be a fair bit pricklier.)<br />
<br />
To close out this week's grab bag:<br />
<br />
[ <a href="http://reedsolomon.blogspot.ca/2013/11/classical-gasbag.html">Reed Solomon's Matrix: Classical Gasbag</a> ]<br />
It came! It's here! It flew <i>completely</i> under my radar!<br />
<br />
Christian-modern-rock station IGNITE 107.1 FM was never exactly a ratings juggernaut (he says, generously), so last year Golden West applied for and received CRTC permission to flip its format and run a commercial classical-music(!) station in its place. Hooray for musical diversity!<br />
<br />
The switch has most certainly already happened -- I've tuned in just now out of curiosity and, yep, there it is -- but it must've only happened very, very recently. It has no website or webstream, I don't detect any social media presence, and if there was advertising I'd missed it; in fact, just as I typed that it played a promo blurb describing itself in the future tense, and as best I can tell it's billing itself simply as "CLASSIC FM 107.1" right now. <br />
<br />
Ooh, the blurb just mentioned jazz as well! That could be either really great or really terrible. (Well, I suppose it could be really great <i>and</i> really terrible; 'jazz' has a whole lot of room in it.) I don't know about you, but I'm finding myself rather disproportionately stoked about this. So far so good, from what I'm hearing of it! Give it a listen, see if you dig it.<br />
<br />
Thank you once again for reading <a href="http://slurpeesandmurder.blogspot.ca/search/label/ManLinkWeek">ManLinkWeek</a>! If you'd wondered why there seemed to be a lot less Winnipeg than usual in this week's edition, that's because next week may very well end up ALL Winnipeg. Preliminary-budget fallout! South Pembina transformations! Scott Fielding pitching increasingly wide accountability sweeps! (My guess for next week's proposal: sentient giant-robot auditors.) <i>And more</i>! So get ready, everyone; December's fixing to be quite the month.<p>James Hope Howardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18143628957923923335noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35424944.post-65713868783620964852013-11-23T23:16:00.000-06:002013-11-24T02:29:33.390-06:00Manitoba Links Weekly: Brandon-Souris is the Single Most Important Place in the Country, SureFoot Doesn't Have to Take This Kind of Abuse From You, Oh My God the Hamilton Avenue Flying Pizza Website, and Here's Harvey Smith Beside a Harvey Smith T-Shirt (ManLinkWeek S02E05)<p><a href="http://twitter.com/A_J_McDowell/status/403229570570002432"><img src="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/smithception20131120.jpg" title="SMITHCEPTION. WE NEED TO GO DEEPER."></a><br />
<br />
Yo dawg, I heard you like Harvey Smith, so we put a Harvey Smith by your Harvey Smith so you can watch Harvey Smith while you watch Harvey Smith. [ <a href="http://twitter.com/A_J_McDowell/status/403229570570002432">via</a> ]<br />
<br />
Hello and welcome to <a href="http://slurpeesandmurder.blogspot.ca/search/label/ManLinkWeek">Manitoba Links Weekly</a>! <a href="http://archives.winnipeginternetpundits.com/post/67613060350/november-20th-2013-oh-you-fence-y-huh">This week on Winnipeg Internet Pundits</a> we talked a <a href="http://winnipegcat.blogspot.ca/2013/11/november-19th-2013.html">seven-million-dollar-fence proposal</a> (no, seriously), the Province's <a href="http://aroundthistown.ca/2013/11/19/its-worse-than-you-think/">precarious spending-spree tendencies</a>, and an <a href="http://www.winnipegsun.com/2013/11/20/call-for-police-hq-audit-defeated-at-city-hall">audit call</a> that was struck down and has subsequently become more powerful than you can possibly imagine. Plus other topics! It was a good show, give it a listen.<br />
<br />
Ah, but there's by-election business to attend to, isn't there? Prepare yourself for <a href="http://slurpeesandmurder.blogspot.ca/search/label/ManLinkWeek">ManLinkWeek</a>!<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
[ <a href="http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/manitoba/stephen-harper-mails-byelection-voters-says-he-needs-candidate-1.2435207">CBC Manitoba: Stephen Harper mails byelection voters, says he 'needs' candidate</a> ] <br />
[ <a href="http://www2.macleans.ca/2013/11/23/stephen-harper-vs-justin-trudeau-in-brandon-souris/">Maclean's: Stephen Harper vs. Justin Trudeau in Brandon-Souris</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/local/the-bloody-battle-for-brandon-souris-233123881.html">Winnipeg Free Press: The bloody battle for Brandon-Souris</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.thestar.com/news/canada/2013/11/23/poll_puts_liberals_ahead_in_three_byelection_races.html">Toronto Star: Poll puts Liberals ahead in three byelection races</a> ]<br />
The Brandon-Souris by-election, I think we can all agree, escalated quickly. I mean, that <i>really</i> got out of hand fast.<br />
<br />
Let's sequence-break a little and jump straight to yesterday's Brandon Sun, because this was--well, see what you make of it:<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/opinion/blogs/cox/233036026.html"><img src="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/brandonsunfrontpages102213.jpg" title="oh dear"></a><br />
<br />
What you are looking at is a full four-page wrap advertisement enveloping the rest of the newspaper, effectively serving to the public eye as the front page of the paper that day. There are ways to make the advertising <a href="http://twitter.com/wheatkingsfan/status/404323238475362305"><i>not</i></a> look mistakable for the front page, but, well, that'd spoil it, really, wouldn't it?<br />
<br />
I didn't realize this was a thing that a party <i>could</i> do, or rather a thing that a newspaper would look at and approve -- publisher Bob Cox's reaction to the controversy was to <a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/opinion/blogs/cox/233036026.html">make dollar-rubbing motions with his hands</a>, so there's your answer on that -- but here we are. What an exciting new world of possibilities! ("If You Don't Vote For Candidate A, <a href="http://lampoon.rwinters.com/NL034-Jan1973-detail.jpg">We'll Kill This Dog</a>.") <br />
<br />
I don't know how much the full-envelope ad package costs, vis-à-vis the upper election spending limit of any given riding, but let's say that hypothetically a candidate wants to buy up the last few wrap-front-pages of a newspaper leading up to election day. Run a series of just-coincidentally-advertising not-headlines like "Candidate A Shows Leadership in Debate", "Candidate A Surges Forward", "Candidate A Carries Momentum Into Election Day". What's to stop them? Apparently nothing, right? So long as they're in a different font and worded delicately enough to not be editorial (as funny as "Candidate B Just a Huge Piece of Trash" <i>would</i> be), a candidate could theoretically monopolize the not-front-page of the riding's paper of record right through to closing time. Hey, if the paper doesn't mind, may as well! <br />
<br />
(I keep using "a candidate" above instead of "I" because I know me too well; <i>I</i>'d use the space for madness, just bombarding the riding with branded origami instructions and paper-doll cutouts and other wacky stuff. Politics and I aren't ready for each other, man.)<br />
<br />
Surprising newspaper not-front-pages, <a href="http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/manitoba/mulcair-trudeau-make-byelection-stops-in-brandon-souris-1.2425905">federal party leader appearances</a>, <a href="http://twitter.com/fpbowen/status/404000730916204544">unverifiable 'insider' letters</a>, an initially-favoured candidate skipping debates and <a href="http://www.cbc.ca/player/News/Canada/Manitoba/ID/2419647850/">stonewalling media</a> -- the whole shebang! Things have ramped up to altogether bizarre levels in Brandon-Souris, and a riding that wasn't even supposed to be in play to begin with suddenly somehow seems the single most important prize in Canadian politics.<br />
<br />
Even more interestingly, and perhaps even more bizarrely, the Conservatives' full-court press -- personal letters from the Prime Minister, <a href="http://twitter.com/Monstereditor/status/403395873146560513/photo/1/large">hilariously negative mailouts</a>, <a href="http://ca.news.yahoo.com/blogs/canada-politics/did-justin-trudeau-talk-legalizing-pot-elementary-school-000116532.html">questionably-accurate marijuana fearmongering</a>, even the <a href="http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/politics/in-by-elections-final-week-tories-will-be-put-to-test-on-senate-scandal/article15483370/">alleged deployment of Jenni Byrne to the riding</a> -- doesn't seem to have found purchase. Rolf Dinsdale -- Facebook-employment-falsifying, Jesus-Got-Wood Shit-From-Hell, he-didn't-come-back-for-you Rolf Dinsdale -- now holds a <a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/local/Dinsdale-ahead-in-Brandon-Souris-byelection-poll--233177371.html">fourteen-point lead</a>, and has gained ten points in the polls <a href="http://www.brandonsun.com/breaking-news/Grits-gain-232101891.html?thx=y">over the past two weeks</a>. Correlation not implying causation, of course, but I can't remember the last time Manitoba saw the federal Conservatives fire up their usually-very-well-oiled machine and then lose thick chunks of ground regardless. (Plenty of time between now and Monday yet, mind you!)<br />
<br />
This has been a monster entirely of the Conservatives' own creation, remember; in traditionally safe ridings where they <i>didn't</i> pooch the nomination process from the outset, a Conservative candidate could publicly impugn a homosexual high school student without provocation and still lead by a nigh-insurmountable margin.<br />
<br />
Hypothetically, of course, I mean. Hey, let's check in on Provencher!<br />
<br />
[ <a href="http://www.thecarillon.com/local/Falk-weighs-in-on-bullying-232845981.html">The Carillon: Falk weighs in on Bill 18</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegsun.com/2013/11/22/falk-called-bully-after-steinbach-interview">Winnipeg Sun: Falk called bully after Steinbach interview</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://globalnews.ca/news/984205/controversies-erupt-as-byelections-near/">Global Winnipeg: Controversies erupt as byelections near</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/manitoba/tory-candidate-keeps-low-profile-in-provencher-byelection-1.2437165">CBC Manitoba: Tory candidate keeps low profile in Provencher byelection</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://kylepenner.wordpress.com/2013/11/22/an-open-letter-to-ted-falk/">The Canoe (Kyle Penner): An Open Letter to Ted Falk</a> ]<br />
<img src="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/FailFish.png" title="(facepalm)" style="border-width: 0"><br />
WELL, THAT'S ENOUGH BY-ELECTION FOR TODAY. Back now to Winnipeg, where the arrival of winter (with a vengeance!) highlighted a surprising disappearance:<br />
<br />
[ <a href="http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/manitoba/slippery-sidewalks-website-shut-down-amid-public-backlash-1.2434513">CBC Manitoba: Slippery sidewalks website shut down amid public backlash</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://surefoot.org/">surefoot.org: The SureFoot Winter Walking Conditions Bulletin is no longer available</a> ]<br />
Twenty-one months after its much-touted launch, and twelve months after it <a href="http://www.winnipegsun.com//2012/11/10/citys-surefootorg-forecast-25-c-and-sunny">started malfunctioning and broadcasting summer weather</a>, Winnipeg's SureFoot.org has been officially and unceremoniously shuttered. <br />
<br />
And do you know <i>why</i> they pulled the plug on what they heralded as the world's very first slippery-sidewalk online bulletin service? BECAUSE Y'ALL'RE JERKS, THAT'S WHY<br />
<br />
"<i>A website launched by the City of Winnipeg to warn the public about icy sidewalks has been taken offline because it was publicly mocked so much.</i>"<br />
<br />
THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS, WINNIPEG. Things that nobody used and that didn't work properly, BUT NICE THINGS NONETHELESS. Allegedly nice, I mean; I, uh... never looked at it. BUT STILL.<br />
<br />
Alas, SureFoot has gone to that great webserver in the sky, where it can run and play with new friends like the Responsible Winnipeg website and that now-lost MTN Christmas Tape with the foulmouthed Buckley and Beave outtakes. SureFoot isn't suffering any more, sweetie. SureFoot is very happy now.<br />
<br />
This segment got a little weird, didn't it? Kinda went to a weird place there. Okay, moving on!<br />
<br />
[ <a href="http://www.producer.com/2013/10/beer-solves-guys-problems/">The Western Producer: Beer solves guys' problems</a> ]<br />
This is actually a feature article on the origin story of the Warwaruk brothers' Luxalune Gastropub and Farmery Beer, but you might not've made that connection from the headline if I hadn't told you. Not that I'm arguing with the headline, having said that! (I can confirm that if I could afford beer right now I'd have a lot fewer problems.)<br />
<br />
And y'know what always goes well with beer? I think this post could go for a <i>pizza</i>--<br />
<br />
[ <a href="http://www.pizza222.com/">pizza222.com: Pizza | Pizza Delivery | Take Out | Winnipeg</a> ]<br />
oh my holy christ god my sides I can't even<br />
<br />
I want to note here that there doesn't seem to be one single unifying Flying Pizza website; Flying Pizza franchise owners instead seem to be left responsible for handling their web presence themselves, as <a href="http://www.flyingpizzaek.com/">this site</a> site and <a href="http://www.flyingpizza.ca/">this site</a> would also seem to indicate.<br />
<br />
I don't want to spoil anything for you. I want you to experience pizza222.com for yourself, every page of it, with a sense of childlike wonder and discovery. Take it into your heart, make it a part of yourself, and allow it to reveal its secrets to you. It is glorious.<br />
<br />
[ <a href="http://uniter.ca/view/winnipeg-through-the-eyes-of-a-tourist">The Uniter: Winnipeg through the eyes of a tourist</a> ]<br />
"<i>Personally, I never realized how much Winnipeg has to offer until I started meeting people who are not from here. Whenever you visit a new place, you seek out new adventures and experiences to revel in. It intrigued me how positive most of these people were about this city. Perhaps these are the people to ask what our city is all about.</i>"<br />
<br />
This is nice! This is a nice read, a nice change of pace from everything else you and I spend our time reading. Give it a whirl, I think you'll like it.<br />
<br />
And, finally:<br />
<br />
[ <a href="http://aroundthistown.ca/2013/11/19/its-worse-than-you-think/">Around This Town: It's worse than you think</a> ]<br />
I'd linked to this off the top of the post already, but seriously, y'all need to read this. Read it carefully and diligently, <i>absorb</i> it, take it within yourself. If you can come back after reading that and give me an economic silver lining that our fair province can look forward to, I will be <i>very excited to hear it</i>, because right now I feel like our shared language needs to find a power-levelled form of 'bleak' to properly describe the situation. It is superbleak. Megableak! ULTRABLEAK. <br />
<br />
Thank you for reading <a href="http://slurpeesandmurder.blogspot.ca/search/label/ManLinkWeek">ManLinkBleak</a>! ...Week. ManLink<i>Week</i>. See you next time, friends!<p>James Hope Howardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18143628957923923335noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35424944.post-80816903752685212642013-11-16T16:34:00.000-06:002013-11-17T18:28:19.772-06:00Manitoba Links Weekly: Greg the Type of Premier, Let's Go Save Some Legions, The Big Little Book of Winnipeg Jokes, and Arcade Fire are Positive Winnipeg is in Saskatchewan (ManLinkWeek S02E04)<p><img src="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/thanksarcadefire.jpg" title="''AUGUST 14, WINNIPEG, SK, MTS CENTRE''"><br />
<br />
I suppose it's up for debate whether or not this is better than Winnipeg <a href="http://winnipegcat.blogspot.ca/2012/09/september-23rd-2012.html">being in Ontario</a>, but the gaffe is that little extra bit more galling coming from other Canadians. I'd ask "what do they teach in Montreal schools these days?", but the answer is probably just Habs trivia and how to accept mob bribes. [h/t to <a href="http://www.stereogum.com/1567121/arcade-fire-announce-reflektor-north-american-tour/tour-dates/">Stereogum</a> and, uh, pretty well everyone on Twitter that day ]<br />
<br />
Hello and welcome to <a href="http://slurpeesandmurder.blogspot.ca/search/label/ManLinkWeek">Manitoba Links Weekly</a>! How're you doing, you look lovely. <br />
<br />
<a href="http://archives.winnipeginternetpundits.com/post/66924159712/november-13th-2013-watch-the-throne-james-and">This week on Winnipeg Internet Pundits</a> we tackled the provincial throne speech, what it meant (or rather, probably didn't mean) <a href="http://metronews.ca/news/winnipeg/852250/mayor-sam-katz-taking-rapid-transit-mention-in-throne-speech-as-positive-sign/">for rapid transit</a>, and the <a href="http://politixbs.wordpress.com/2013/10/31/ideas-for-winnipegs-city-hall4/">possibility</a> of <a href="http://metronews.ca/voices/urban-compass-winnipeg/843567/its-time-to-abolish-winnipegs-outdated-executive-policy-committee/">abolishing</a> the Executive Policy Committee model. The show went well, and I think you'll dig it, so give it a whirl if you'd missed it.<br />
<br />
Onward, to <a href="http://slurpeesandmurder.blogspot.ca/search/label/ManLinkWeek">ManLinkWeek</a>! Let's lead off with some fine throne-speech content released later in the week:<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
[ <a href="http://aroundthistown.ca/2013/11/16/the-premier-is-probably-lying/">Around This Town: The Premier is "probably" lying.</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://winnipeg.ctvnews.ca/manitoba-eyeing-federal-municipal-cash-to-help-pay-for-infrastructure-promises-1.1543746">CTV Winnipeg: Manitoba eyeing federal, municipal cash to help pay for infrastructure promises</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegsun.com/2013/11/14/ndp-admit-infrastructure-promises-dont-add-up">Winnipeg Sun: NDP admit infrastructure promises don't add up </a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/local/55b-for-infrastructure-misleading-figure-tories-232022811.html">Winnipeg Free Press: $5.5B for infrastructure misleading figure: Tories</a> ]<br />
Good news, everyone: we've committed to dramatically ramping up spending -- way over what we're <a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/local/Extra-PST-revenues-to-go-to-core-infrastructure-231615901.html">taking in</a>, including money we don't even <i>have</i> -- and <a href="http://cupe.mb.ca/2013/11/12/throne-speech-means-stability-cupe/">we aren't going to cut anything</a>, but the books will balance anyway somehow because I don't know man just trust us on this. Everyone got that? You bought that, right?<br />
<br />
The post by Derick-slash-cherenkov I've linked at the top is tremendous, and required reading, but what I love the absolute <i>most</i> about it is the A&W metaphor in the explanations section. Because, man, you can just picture that, can't you? If you've ever tried to write like you're in Selinger's head -- <a href="http://winnipegcat.blogspot.ca/2011/10/october-4th-2011-special-election.html">as one does</a> -- you come out feeling pretty cloudy afterwards. And the line also put me in mind of various <a href="http://twitter.com/DrizzyTheType">parody</a> <a href="http://twitter.com/MeekMillRapLike">Twitter</a> <a href="http://twitter.com/YeezusThaType">accounts</a>, so let me just put on the record right now that I would absolutely 100% follow a local mashup account like that.<br />
<br />
GREG THE TYPE OF PREMIER TO PAY FOR A TEEN BURGER WITH A HUNDRED AND FORGET HIS CHANGE<br />
GREG THE TYPE OF PREMIER POSES FOR PICTURES WITH GANG MEMBERS CAUSE THEY SEEM FRIENDLY<br />
GREG THE TYPE OF PREMIER TO COME SECOND IN POLLING WITHIN HIS OWN PARTY<br />
GREG THE TYPE OF PREMIER NAMEDROPS DUDES BUT GETS THEIR NAMES WRONG<br />
GREG THE TYPE OF PREMIER TO KEEP COMPLAINING ABOUT STUFF THAT HAPPENED IN 1998<br />
GREG THE TYPE OF PREMIER TRIES NOT TO LOOK UPSET WHEN PEOPLE STILL SLIP UP AND CALL HIM "GARY"<br />
<br />
Get on it, local poli-goofsters! You can have this idea for free, I know y'all love your parody accounts. (And while I think of it: I feel like now would be the perfect time for someone to start up a new <a href="http://www.winnipegsun.com/2013/10/25/liberal-candidates-raise-twitter-stink-as-leadership-election-looms">Bob Axworthy parody account</a>, because, hey, who'd see it coming now?)<br />
<br />
Moving on:<br />
<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/special/lestweforget/They-fought-for-your-right-to-party-231034111.html">Winnipeg Free Press: They fought for your right to party</a> ]<br />
Happy belated Remembrance Day, one and all! There are eighteen Legions remaining in the city, and most or all of them are endangered, so head on out to one and show 'em some love. Heck, hit all eighteen! OH MAN WE SHOULD DO AN INVESTIGATIVE TOUR OF ALL EIGHTEEN. Okay, this is happening, I'm forming a posse and doing this as soon as I find employment again.<br />
<br />
(If you know anybody looking for a librarian, writer, researcher, play-by-play/colour commentator, voice actor, or Serving-it-Safe-pre-approved bartender, holler at y'boy. My best ideas and plans always seem to require money, it's funny how that happens.)<br />
<br />
I'm serious, though. Legion tour. We <i>doin'</i> this.<br />
<br />
Meanwhile, in Brandon:<br />
<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/local/maguire-ducks-election-debates-231700111.html">Winnipeg Free Press: Maguire ducks election debates</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/manitoba/mulcair-trudeau-make-byelection-stops-in-brandon-souris-1.2425905">CBC Manitoba: Mulcair, Trudeau make byelection stops in Brandon-Souris</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.brandonsun.com/breaking-news/Grits-gain-232101891.html?thx=y">Brandon Sun: Grits still in the lead: Poll</a> ]<br />
By-election fever -- catch it! The long and dramatic Brandon-Souris saga continues apace, activity and excitement swirling ahead of the much-anticipated November 25th vote; <a href="http://www.brandonsun.com/local/eligible-voters-can-cast-ballots-in-advance-polls-across-riding-232054721.html">advance polls are now open</a>, as well, if you're in the riding and just can't bear to wait.<br />
<br />
Now, skipping all of the debates in a tight race may <i>seem</i> like an odd strategy, but it worked for Joyce Bateman (<a href="http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/manitoba/manitoba-ex-mps-vindicated-with-robocalls-ruling-1.1331779">for some reason</a>). So you'll definitely want to keep an eye out for... <i>alternate</i> strategic initiatives, over the next nine days. I'm not say<i>ing</i>, I'm just <i>say</i>in'. <br />
<br />
Meanwhile, in Toronto:<br />
<br />
[ <a href="http://spectatortribune.com/article/the-winnipeg-toronto-equivalency-test/">Spectator Tribune: The Winnipeg-Toronto equivalency test</a> ]<br />
I've spent the last couple months or so trying to work Jess Chapman's "<a href="http://www.winnipegsun.com/2013/09/12/parting-wishes-for-winnipeg">Parting wishes for Winnipeg</a>" article onto WIPs one way or the other, and I never quite figured out how to do it, so I'll balance that out by including it here underneath her Winnipeg-transplant guide to Toronto hotspots. <br />
<br />
There're a lot of Winnipeggers in Toronto, but then, there're a lot of Winnipeggers everywhere. Humour me a brief anecdote: when I was doing my MLIS in London, Ontario, I met an M.Econ student who was also from Winnipeg -- at <a href="http://www.uwo.ca/sogs/gradclub/">The Grad Club</a>, because where else would UWO/Western grad students run into each other -- and he told me about an economics conference he'd just been to where the keynote speaker was <i>also</i> from Winnipeg. So he brought Winnipeg up with his fellow Winnipegger afterwards (as we all do, infamously, when we meet each other in the wild), and the keynote speaker dropped this perfect line on him: "<i>Winnipeg is the best place in the world to be from, because everything else seems so easy afterwards.</i>" <br />
<br />
I always dug that.<br />
<br />
Y'know what, while we're linking Spectator Tribune pieces:<br />
<br />
[ <a href="http://spectatortribune.com/article/top-7-shindico-jokes/">Spectator Tribune: Top 7 Shindico Jokes</a> ]<br />
Okay, so, here's the thing; I'm not <i>super</i>-sold on the execution here -- humour uh <font size="1">(clears throat)</font> humour being subjective and all -- but I'm very much enamoured with the idea, and I most definitely appreciate the author's commitment to working in a Letterman-at-the-Oscars-style joke. ("OPRAH -- UMA! UMA -- OPRAH.")<br />
<br />
While <i>1001 Shindico Jokes</i> may already be finished and off to print, I'm familiar enough with publishing to know that its success will inspire other houses to rush out similar books shortly thereafter -- so here are some selections from my purposefully-derivative manuscript-in-progress, <i>The Big Little Book of Winnipeg Jokes</i> (working title), coming soon to fine local bookstores near you.<br />
<br />
<b>Q.</b> How many Shindicos does it take to change a lightbulb?<br />
<b>A.</b> One, but the lightbulb has to be broken up into four parts first for some reason.<br />
<br />
<b>Q.</b> How many Phil Sheegls does it take to change a lightbulb?<br />
<b>A.</b> None; he gets paid for it, but Joshi's the one doing all the work.<br />
<br />
<b>Q.</b> How many Sam Katzes does it take to change a lightbulb?<br />
<b>A.</b> Well first of all, y'know what, I don't appreciate the insinuation that the lightbulb is burnt out. That's the media saying that, that's <i>you</i> guys saying that, <i>I</i> don't say that, and I certainly don't agree with that. Okay? That's number one. Number two is, and I've said this before, I -- Bartley, I don't appreciate -- I've said before, if and when the lightbulb is burnt out, there's one person, okay, do you know who makes that call? Yours Truly. Okay?<br />
<br />
<b>Q.</b> How many left-leaning Winnipeg councillors does it take to change a lightbulb?<br />
A. It doesn't matter, they can't change anything.<br />
<br />
<b>Q.</b> Why did Thomas Steen cross the road?<br />
<b>A.</b> (<i>Conspicuous silence for three seconds.</i>) DO YOU LIKE HOCKEY<br />
<br />
<b>Q.</b> Why did Judy Wasylycia-Leis cross the road?<br />
<b>A.</b> Well first of all thank you all for being here tonight and for providing this forum and uh and I just want to say I think, uh, I think we all need to understand before anything else that the STRENGTH, that the STRENGTH of the road is its COMPASSION and uh and its HEART, and y'know and I think that really that's what unites us all is uh an UNDERSTANDING of the importance and uh the root causes involved and y'know that's the core of it is the root causes and if we can uh address those we can LOOK FORWARD to TWENTY-FOURTEEN. Thank you.<br />
<br />
And, of course:<br />
<br />
<b>Q.</b> How many Winnipeg city councillors does it take to change a lightbulb?<br />
<b>A.</b> It really doesn't matter, the Province has all the power.<br />
<br />
<i>The Big Little Book of Winnipeg Jokes</i>, (working title), soon to be submitted to and rejected by countless local publishers.<br />
<br />
Today's post got a little goofy on me, I've just noticed. Huh. Moving on!<br />
<br />
[ <a href="http://lovemelovemywinnipeg.blogspot.ca/2013/11/horrible-blogger-returns-with-pancakes.html">Love me, love my Winnipeg: Horrible blogger returns... with Pancakes!</a> ]<br />
DID SOMEONE SAY PANCAKES<br />
<br />
And, finally:<br />
<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegsantaparade.com/index.php/parade-info/parade-day-activities/">Winnipeg Santa Claus Parade: Parade Day Activities</a> ]<br />
That's right, Winnipeg -- tonight is the annual Santa Claus Parade! Get on out there and enjoy it; I've gone to it every time I've been in town for it and I've never once felt let down by it, even on those years (plural) they failed to get Santa under the bridge and to the Forks in one piece.<br />
<br />
Tonight, however, I am <i>not</i> in town; I'm hiding out at Oak Lake and visiting my Dad until Monday or Tuesday, so I guess you'll just have to go in my place this year. Go on, get out there, you'll have a good time. Enjoy it!<br />
<br />
And thank you once again for reading <a href="http://slurpeesandmurder.blogspot.ca/search/label/ManLinkWeek">ManLinkWeek</a>! I'll see you around real soon, true believers!<p>James Hope Howardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18143628957923923335noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35424944.post-64173710032674979432013-11-09T15:31:00.001-06:002013-11-09T16:06:48.794-06:00Manitoba Links Weekly: Winnipeg Doesn't Look a Day Over 139, Punk Reviews of Churches Makes Me Wish "Winnipeg" Were a Recognized Adjective, Also Featuring Beer and Yelling, and Here's a Harvey Smith T-Shirt (ManLinkWeek S02E03)<p>Remember how thoroughly I stressed calendar weeks when relaunching this format? Well, this is why. (Hey, the week ain't over yet!) Hello and welcome to <a href="http://slurpeesandmurder.blogspot.ca/search/label/ManLinkWeek">Manitoba Links Weekly</a>!<br />
<br />
Yes, it's been another big and busy week in local culture and current affairs, so let's start with the brand-synergy segment to cover what I'm leaving <i>out</i> of the post this week. <a href="http://archives.winnipeginternetpundits.com/post/66237129491/november-6th-2013-stuck-in-the-middle-with-you">This week's episode of Winnipeg Internet Pundits</a> covered the <a href="http://www.visionaryregeneration.com/submissions/gallery.html">University of Manitoba Southwood lands' first renderings</a>, the <a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/local/city-still-pushing-to-impose-new-fees-on-developments-230946991.html">mysterious Provincial rejection</a> of the City's <a href="http://www.winnipegsun.com/2013/11/04/new-home-builds-new-10k-fee-proposed">new-home-builds fee proposal</a>, and a delightful interview with Barley Kives about his <a href="http://www.mcnallyrobinson.com/9781926531847/bartley-kives-bryan-scott/stuck-middle-dissenting-views-winnipeg?blnBKM=1">Stuck in the Middle: Dissenting Views of Winnipeg</a> collaboration with <a href="http://www.winnipeglovehate.com/">Bryan Scott</a>. (F'real, if you haven't already bought this book by now, I'm assuming it's because you intend to ask for it for Christmas.) <br />
<br />
Also! Thank you once again to <a href="https://twitter.com/PriceScott91">Scott Price</a> and <a href="http://ckuw.ca/">CKUW 95.9 FM</a> for having me on the airwaves this past Tuesday afternoon; we did a special mystery show about our favourite bassists and bass recordings, and it was a blast and a half. You get me talkin' about music, man, it's hard to get me to stop.<br />
<br />
Ah, but enough off-topic rambling out of me; time for <i>on</i>-topic rambling! <a href="http://slurpeesandmurder.blogspot.ca/search/label/ManLinkWeek">ManLinkWeek</a>, engage!<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
[ <a href="http://westenddumplings.blogspot.ca/2013/11/happy-140th-birthday-winnipeg.html">West End Dumplings: Happy 140th Birthday, Winnipeg !</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://news.umanitoba.ca/happy-birthday-winnipeg/">University of Manitoba News: Happy Birthday Winnipeg</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegsun.com/2013/11/08/happy-birthday-winnipeg-share-your-wisheswants">Winnipeg Sun: Happy birthday, Winnipeg! Share your wishes/wants </a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://sentimentalwinnipeg.blogspot.ca/2013/11/why-i-celebrate-winnipeg-with-this.html">Sentimental Winnipeg: Why I celebrate Winnipeg with THIS photo every day!</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://winnipegcat.blogspot.ca/2013/11/november-9th-2013.html">Winnipeg Cat: November 9th, 2013</a> ]<br />
Happy 140th Birthday, Winnipeg! Officially incorporated on November 8th, 1873, Winnipeg experienced forty years of promisingly rapid development aaaaand never mind the rest of that anecdote here we are today let's party.<br />
<br />
Except, of course, that <a href="http://twitter.com/WestEndCassidy/status/398865422595809280">we didn't</a>. (I suppose it's theoretically possible that the city's <a href="http://twitter.com/DPernitsky/status/398891306820173824/photo/1/large">brown water</a> has been a special retro throwback all along and they just forgot to tell us.) Why, if people found out that Winnipeg was having a milestone anniversary, they might do something foolish and reckless like congregate at Portage and Main or consider the future of the city! THINGS TO AVOID AT ALL COSTS. So well done, there, City of Winnipeg. On the ball as always.<br />
<br />
Also this week: <a href="http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=492716760825625&set=a.224387130991924.45648.223239921106645&type=1">The Manitoban turned 99</a>, the <a href="http://westenddumplings.blogspot.ca/2013/10/a-sad-centenary-for-royal-albert.html">Royal Albert turned 100</a> (in <a href="http://www.winnipegsun.com/2013/11/05/homicide-at-royal-albert-hotel">very Royal Albert-ian fashion</a>), and the <a href="http://winnipegdowntownplaces.blogspot.ca/2011/09/287-garry-street-garrick-hotel.html">Garrick Hotel turned 106</a>. Huzzah for history! Hooray for heritage!<br />
<br />
And while we're considering old buildings:<br />
<br />
[ <a href="http://whollyshitzine.wordpress.com/">Wholly Shit | church reviews from a serious punk</a> ]<br />
Okay, wow, so. I feel comfortable in describing this site as a singular work. And I wish we could just all agree to use "Winnipeg" as an adjective, because, man, this is Winnipeg as all get-out.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://whollyshitzine.wordpress.com/2013/10/12/wholly-shit/">Self-described</a> as "<i>a serious punk</i>" with "<i>a bummer of a catholic heritage</i>" [sic], the now-agnostic author and a rotating cast of friends visit a different church every Sunday -- seven of the eight to date have been in Winnipeg -- and rates the experience in various categories, including "<i>pastor charisma</i>", "<i>scare quotient</i>", "<i>décor iconography</i>", and "<i>people who will die in the next 20 years</i>". Then a quintessentially punk-zine summary of the sermon follows, and really, just read this whole site, just read it right now. <br />
<br />
It's also apparently slated to expand into physical zines sometime soon, so keep an eye out for that, too.<br />
<br />
"<i>Important note: hipsters in the choir – not cool.</i>"<br />
<br />
Let's take a moment and check in on the sports beat:<br />
<br />
[ <a href="http://winnipegisawesome.blogspot.ca/2013/11/bomber-assignment-but-not.html">Jade's Guide to Winnipeg: Bomber Assignment, But Not Really</a> (also featured in <a href="http://metronews.ca/voices/red-river-rants/846371/bomber-assignment-but-not-really/">Metro Winnipeg</a>) ]<br />
WHAT, AUGH. WINNIPEG, NO. WINNIPEG, WHY. <i>GAH</i>. GAAAAAAAH<br />
<br />
okay well that's enough sports then, back to culture<br />
<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/local/hulked-up-comic-con-just-keeps-growing-230456091.html">Winnipeg Free Press: Hulked-up Comic Con just keeps growing</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://johndobbin.blogspot.ca/2013/11/central-canada-comic-con-2013.html">Observations, Reservations, Conversations: Central Canada Comic Con 2013</a> ]<br />
Comics, everybody! I know I'd listed this last week, but I want to include a postscript here for two reasons. One, and the reason I linked the Free Press article above, is to note this very important passage:<br />
<br />
"<i>'We will use all three floors next year,'</i> (C4 coordinator Brian) <i>Mitchell, dressed in high lace boots and a kilt, said on Sunday.</i>"<br />
<br />
Everyone got that? I want to make sure everyone sees that, because I know from firsthand accounts (and from, y'know, being there) that more than a few people were upset about the extended delays to get into everything and anything, and I don't want anyone who likes the same ridiculous nerdy shit I do to feel like the event isn't going to be worth attending any more.<br />
<br />
I volunteered this year (and last year, and--) as part of the team providing and running the fighting-game-tournament section, and we missed out on a few of our regular participants because the event was at full capacity and folks had to wait for hours to get in. People were finding this out <i>after</i> paying for admission; it, uh, it wasn't really the best optics, per se. <br />
<br />
So it should be better, next year! Next year they should hopefully be upgrading to a more appropriate footprint, and in the meantime I'm very happy to play video games with anybody who was disappointed by not being able to make it to the tournament. (I'm still outright hot trash at Injustice, but quite surprisingly legitimate at Marvel. Fourth place, baby! ALSO WHO HERE WANTS TO PLAY VIRTUA FIGHTER)<br />
<br />
Reason <i>two</i> that I bring up C4 again is that I met some pretty cool dudes at one of the booths who are working on a <a href="http://www.facebook.com/hsbrawls">fighting-game/beat-'em-up hybrid</a>; it had an early but promising playable alpha that I got a kick out of, and one of the project leaders is a huge Fatal Fury fan (<a href="http://www.brok-homz.com/"><font size="0">you don't say</font></a>), so they had Terry Bogard-style hats they were giving out to anyone who likes Terry Bogard.<br />
<br />
Well, I am <i>also</i> a huge Fatal Fury fan. It resulted in <a href="http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=358643070949027&set=at.182459418567394.62389.100004100103595.794048135.100006996091495&type=1&relevant_count=1&ref=nf">this photo</a>.<br />
<br />
<img src="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/1392090_358643070949027_2028609749_n.jpg" title="HEY C'MON C'MON -- seriously though who doesn't like Terry Bogard, f'real though"><br />
<br />
<i>Man</i>, I'm pretty. (Dude on the right's <a href="https://twitter.com/TobanFrost">a buddy of mine</a>, you probably saw us at the karaoke event on Friday, it was good times.) Anyway, like I said, they were cool dudes, <a href="http://www.facebook.com/hsbrawls">keep an eye on 'em</a>.<br />
<br />
And speaking of things to keep an eye on:<br />
<br />
[ <a href="http://grippingrain.ca/">grippingrain.ca: BEER, YELLING</a> ]<br />
I've argued previously that the Grippin' Grain tagline of "ALSO FEATURING BEER AND YELLING" should really just be the Winnipeg motto, just slap it on our highway signs and call it accomplished. <br />
<br />
This freshly-launched site features every single majestic event poster to date -- for an inexpensive good time, read the site aloud from top to bottom -- as well as photo galleries being added for each event (working backwards, up to #20 as of last check).<br />
<br />
NO JERKS<br />
NO AIR CONDITIONING<br />
NO WORRIES<br />
<br />
[ <a href="http://www.taxpayer.com/blog/fear-the-beard-t-shirts">TaxPayer.com: FEAR THE BEARD T-SHIRTS.</a> ]<br />
Harvey Smith t-shirts, if'n you need it. <br />
<br />
Colin Craig selling Harvey Smith merch is one of those things you just sort of tilt your head at for a second and then inwardly shrug off as being sort of strange, but stranger still is that we've had two different physical pieces of <a href="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/harveysmithpumpkin103113.jpg">Harvey Smith iconography</a> pop up in the last two weeks. Like, is this going to be a thing for the next ten and a half months? Every week I'm going to check back and there'll be a Harvey Smith comic book, a Harvey Smith mural, Harvey Smith trading cards. Gonna go to the Petro-Canada and pick up some commemorative Harvey Smith glasses. Harvey Smith, the lunchbox! Harvey Smith, the breakfast cereal! Harvey Smith <i>the flamethrower</i>!<br />
<br />
I'm not <i>against</i> any of this, I should note. S'just weird! Just still working on wrapping my head around it.<br />
<br />
Speaking of hard to wrap one's head around:<br />
<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/local/help-on-way-in-77-minutes-231109501.html">Winnipeg Free Press: Police help on way... in 77 minutes</a> ]<br />
[ <a href="http://www.winnipegsun.com/2013/11/08/police-response-time-77-minutes-report">Winnipeg Sun: Police response time 77 minutes: Report</a> ]<br />
<br />
<img src="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/slurpeesandmurder/punkreact.gif" title="wat"><br />
<br />
And, finally:<br />
<br />
[ <a href="http://westenddumplings.blogspot.ca/2013/11/west-end-dumplings-radio-edition-is-back.html">West End Dumplings: West End Dumplings - The Radio Edition is back !</a> ]<br />
Blogosphere radio ahoy! Following a wildly successful pilot episode in the WIPs timeslot this past summer -- vastly more popular than <i>my</i> fill-ins, to what I'm sure was the surprise of no one -- rightfully beloved local blogger Christian Cassidy will be bringing his urban heritage expertise to the airwaves Sunday evenings at 7:00 PM. <br />
<br />
(If you're wondering why he hasn't been on WIPs lately, it's 'cause dude's got a job and works a lot of Wednesdays. Happens to the best of us!)<br />
<br />
So make sure to tune in for his debut episode tomorrow evening, 7:00 PM, 101.5 UMFM! It'll also be streamed live through <a href="http://www.umfm.com/">UMFM.com</a> and available as a podcast after that, so you'll be able to revisit it as desired. <br />
<br />
Thank you once again for reading <a href="http://slurpeesandmurder.blogspot.ca/search/label/ManLinkWeek">ManLinkWeek</a>! The next installment should drop earlier in the week -- heck, it can't drop much later -- so I'll see you then, true believers!<p>James Hope Howardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18143628957923923335noreply@blogger.com0