Please Remove Your Hats and Rise for Our Eventual Civic Anthem

My daily posting thus far has kind of been nightly posting instead, but Daily Post Month continues regardless! Which is good, because we're five days in, and if I had already managed to screw that up I would just walk right off the internet and never be seen again.

Anyway -- hey, you know what I think would be fun to write? An anthem.

I've always been a sucker for national anthems and flags, as I'm sure has become obvious every time I've written anything about the Olympics. ("That flag has an AK-47 on it? AWESOME") Every anthem and every flag has its own historical connotations and interesting stories, and fascinations like these probably explain pretty well why History was one of my undergraduate majors. And I've always thought it's interesting that flags are just all over the place -- from the biggest nation to the tiniest little podunk town -- but anthems, with certain exceptions, really only occur at the federal level.

Help a Brother Out!: I Clicked a Square and the Smiley Face Guy Turned His Eyes into Xes Like He's Dead, Does That Mean I Win, Did I Beat the Game

You are about to be privy to one of my many shameful and potentially compromising secrets, one of the psychological scars and mental torments that eats away at my very soul each and every day to irreparably wound my interpersonal relations with all around me. I share this with you in the utmost confidence, on the internet, and I hope dearly that somebody can help to ease the continual disgrace and dismay that such a failing incurs on my person each day I walk this earth.

Ladies and gentlemen:

Help a Brother Out!

You know Minesweeper, that abstract minefield-simulator video game that has come standard with every Windows release since 1992?



How in the fuck do you play this game?

Deer Want Us All Dead (plus: Help A Brother Out!)

It's a beautiful day outside! The arrival of June has finally meant that Manitobans are able to enjoy some prolonged sunshine, with clear days and beautiful warm weather expected throughout the weekend. This means that many of us, freespirited wanderlusters that we are, will take off into the wildernesses in all directions to enjoy some peace and quiet out amongst nature -- aaaaaaaand nature will immediately attempt to murder as many of us as it can.

Before I get too far into today's top story, though, I'd like to reintroduce a segment I call:

Help a Brother Out!

Slurpees and Murder Record Club: When I Dance, You Move and I Can't Get Enough

Day two of Daily Post Month? Day two of Daily Post Month. I think we can all agree it's as good a time as any to bust out a new installment of the Slurpees and Murder Record Club, so I've got a special treat for you folks tonight: everybody's favourite long-defunct Winnipeg-based Prairie-Music-Award-in-the-completely-wrong-category-winning rock-band-turned-funk-band!

That's right, you guessed it:

June is Daily Post Month (Plus, The NHL Stanley Cup Finals Begin Tonight)

Okay! Let's just get this out of the way quickly, because I'm running late on it:

NHL Stanley Cup Finals

(1W) Vancouver Canucks vs. (3E) Boston Bruins

Both goalies will have one completely horrendous outing of four goals or worse each, Tim Thomas will outright steal one game, Boston will score one (ultimately meaningless) power-play goal all series, the rest of the series will be comprised of one-goal games (barring any empty-net shenanigans), and Vancouver will win it in six as the first team to win a road game. Then Tim Thomas will get the Conn Smythe trophy as a consolation prize, because honestly, put almost any other goalie in there behind the Bruins and they'd have been bounced early like a superball at sunrise.

What I'd Want: Vancouver in seven, for the entertainment value and the fun spectacle of a home-win celebration.
What I'll Guess: Vancouver in six.

So good luck, Vancouver; this being the last year that Winnipeg tends your AHL farm team, next year the yolk of oppression and subjugation will be thrown off and our city will return to its rightful place as your vengeful rivals who never actually win but sure enjoy hating you while we lose. The Adon to your Sagat, if you will, although you have no idea what that even means.

Alright! With that out of the way:

June is Daily Post Month

I mentioned this yesterday, but it was hidden behind all that hockey, so almost nobody noticed it was there. (Shoutouts to Fat Arse, whose eagle eye is rivaled only by his fine taste in vinyl.)

Here's the skinny: my usual posting style can be described as gigantic but glacial, where this blog can go weeks without an update and then abruptly leap out at passersby with a wall of text that would surely impress people if anybody had the time to read it. So I figure I'll challenge myself with a bit of an experiment and flip this blog to its opposite for a month: shorter but steadier, a daily update schedule, just to see what I end up putting out when I've committed myself to such a frequency. Why not? What the heck, I'm unemployed right now, I've got time.

And you can help, readers! Look at me, do I look like I have thirty days' worth of ideas? Naw, son. Left to my own devices I'll blow all my typing on Pakistani ghazal music and be out of gas by day three. So, me being the crowd-pleaser I am, hit me back if you've got requests; if there's a previous topic I've touched on that you'd like revisited, if there's something you've always wanted to know about me but not quite enough to bother asking, or if I've been completely ignoring something interesting because I wouldn't shut up about hockey, let me know! I've got a month to fill.

June is Daily Post Month, baby! Let's rock!