Slurpees and Murder Record Club: Someone Please Help Me Figure Out This 1984 Commemorative Pope-Themed Cassette

The title says it all, really, but -- hello and welcome back to the Slurpees and Murder Record Club!

Remember how the last installment of SMRC had at least given us something, anything, to work with in determining its origins? Well, PREPARE YOURSELVES:

UPTOWN Server Salvages: The Art of Nicholas Luchak

Surprise!

The companion piece to the previous post, this gallery contains all of the Nicholas Luchak artwork that I was fortunate enough to have alongside my UPTOWN columns from the end of April 2012 to the demise of the paper('s standalone format) just over a month ago.

These are pretty great, so be sure to take the time to admire each one properly. And if you see something in any of the images and think "that looks kind of like a penis", well, there's a reasonable chance that it is. (Think of it as a Son of Interflux touch, but with dicks instead of camels.) (Yes, I realize how badly I'm dating myself by saying that.)

UPTOWN Server Salvages: The Art of Chris Without the Hat

Hey, remember UPTOWN Magazine? Ahh, those were the days.

Though it's only been about five weeks since the untimely demise of UPTOWN's previous format, it really does seem like forever ago now. (Well, to me, at least; working two other positions simultaneously will do that to a guy.) Before the old website had disappeared and the new format -- coincidentally also the Free Press Thursday Tab's old format -- officially kicked in on the first day of November, I made sure to double back and save all of the artwork that had complemented-slash-redeemed my columns over the years.

(By 'the years', I should clarify, I mean December 2010 to October 2012; everything before that was wiped off the web in the site's switchover to the more Free-Press-ian template. Alas.)

"Winnipeg: One Extreme City", the Surrealistic Adventure That Will Become Your World

I've been hinting here and there at something that I've been working on for a while now, something strange and undiscovered and all but forgotten even to the vast shared intelligence of the internet, and now -- with the oddly relevant reemergence of one of its key players -- the time has come to share it with you.

So come, friends, gather around, and behold as I beheld:

Local Names that Kind of Sound Like They'd Be Pokémon

Welcome back, everyone!

As I'd mentioned, I took a bit of a break from the site after ManLinkWeek ran its natural course and Uptown Magazine went kablooie, but you knew I couldn't stay away for too long -- so, in my absence, I've been working away diligently at piecing together a multimedia extravaganza from some surprisingly-relevant historical material that I happen to have in my possession.

So! What you are about to read right now is absolutely, definitely not that project. But I haven't posted in a while -- multimedia extravaganzas do not simply fall from the sky -- and I hate to leave you guys hanging, so to tide us all over here are a bunch of local names that kind of sound like they'd be Pokémon.

(To borrow from George Carlin: these are the thoughts that kept me out of the really good schools.)