Manitoba Public Insurance Vanity Plate Rejection Explanations as Beat Poetry, or: What Made You Think They'd Okay "BIGDINK"

[ The following is a series of direct quotations from the Winnipeg Free Press' full list of Manitoba Public Insurance rejected vanity plates, published on October 11th, 2013. More specifically: this is every single entry under the 'EXPLANATION' column, in order of appearance, arranged and joined by punctuation but otherwise [sic] and unaltered. (I cannot stress that last part enough. This is how someone at MPI types.) ]

[ This blog has conducted a similar experiment previously. Dramatic audio readings are available on request. ]


(ahem)



EXPLANATION.

Can'T Have # Sign In Front Of 1. Can'T Have # Sign In Front Of 1.

Unacceptable. Payment Required, Payment Required -- Too Many Letters. Unacceptable! Require Payment To Process Order.

Payment Required. Religious Reasons. Can'T Have Letters And Numbers; Can'T Have Letters And Numbers.
Too Many Letter, And Too Many #'S.

Unacceptable.
Unacceptable, Unacceptable, Unacceptable.

Identification Problem. May Cause Identification Issues; Too Similar To An Existing Slogan. Too Similar To An Existing Slogan.

Too Similar To An Existing Slogan!
Too Similar To An Existing Slogan.
Too Similar To An Existing Slogan, Too Similar To An Existing Slogan, Too Similar To An Existing Slogan.
Too Similar To An Existing Slogan.

There Is Already A Plate With The Letter "O". Too Similar To An Existing Slogan.

Too Similar To An Existing Slogan. Similar To An Existing Slogan. Too Similar To An Existing Slogan, Similar To An Existing Slogan.
Too Similar To An Existing Slogan.

May Cause Identifcation Issues With Law Enforcement.

We Do Not Allow Swapping Letters To Numbers.
To Close To Island5.

Replacing The Letter S With 5; Replacing Letter O With Zero. Too Similar To An Existing Slogan.

Too Similar To An Existing Slogan.
Too Similar To An Existing Slogan, Too Similar To An Existing Slogan, Too Similar To An Existing Slogan!
Too Similar To An Existing Slogan.

You Can Not Replace Letters With Numbers.

Using "5 And 1" As An "S And A I" Cause Identity Issues.

Can'T Use A Number For A Letter! Can'T Use A Number For A Letter. Format.

Can'T Have # To Switch Out For A Letter; Letter O Looks Like Zero, Letter O Looks Like Zero.
Too Similar To Existing Slogan.

Identification Problem. Cannot Use Numbers In Place Of Letters.

Identification Problem. Police In German.

Too Similar To An Existing Slogan; Too Similar To An Existing Slogan.
May Cause Identity Issues With Law Enforcement.

Replacing O With Zeros. Can'T Use A Number As A Letter.
Too Similar To An Existing Slogan, Too Similar To An Existing Slogan, Too Similar To An Existing Slogan.

Can'T Use A 1 For An "I" Another Customer Has This Plate. May Cause Problems.

Using "Zero" As An "O" Is Too Similar. Id Problem. Using "One" And An "I" Is Too Similar.
Could Be Transalated As Sex Box.

2 Females Into 69. Sexual Connotation.
Being Easy, Sexual Connotation, Possible Sexual Connotation.
Denied; Possible Sexual Connotation.
Content Of Book Is Sexual.

Sex Drive. Sex Hormone,
Using The #'S 6 And 9 As Sexual Connotation,
Sexual. Sexual Deviate.
Sexual.

Who Has One!

Genitals; Genitals, Genitals. Sexual.

Do You Swallow? Sexual Conotation. Spank Me Backwards.
Content Of Book Is Sexual.

Sexual Innuendos, Sexually Offensive.
Asian Rap Song That Has Sexual Connotation.

Sexual Connotation; Sexual Connotation.
Sexual Connotation.
Sexual.

Iv=Four - Fornicate. Sexual Connotation.

Coitus!

Sexual Connotation. Lxix=69.
Let Us Get Naked And ****.

Offensive.

Sexual; Orgasm Backwards, Sexual Innuendoes.
"My Mojo" Could Be Connotated As Libidinous.
Content Of Book Is Sexual.

Sexual Connotation. Unacceptable Message. Sexual Connotation.

Sexually Suggestive, Sexual. Sexual Connotation; Sexual Connotation.
Could Be Transalated As Sex Box!
Could Be Transalated As Sex Box.

Sexual Connotation.

Offensive. I Eat U Backwards.

Means A Female Part.

Hunting Gun/Criminal Connotation, Hunting Gun/Criminal Connotation.
Religious Connotation; Violent Message One Shot One Kill.

Profanity.

Denied For Religious Connotation; May Be Considered An Unacceptable Message. Trademark Infringement.

Religious Connotation! Deals With Speed. Inappropriate, What Bullies Is.
The Meaning Of Chooch Is Idiot, Moron, Jackass, Etc.

That Is Not An Acceptable Licence Plate.
That Is Not An Acceptable Licence Plate.

Means Virtual Stalking. Inappropriate Message, Sexual Act.
Wanting To Kill Someone, Or Having A Death Wish.
Sexual.

Driving Under The Influence....

Has To Deal With Speed. Religious/Biblical Meaning. Refers To Down To Kill And Death For A Kid.

Trademark Infringement. Deals With Death. Unacceptable Message; Possible Drug Connotations.

Denied For Religious Connotation. Kiss My Ass!
Racing Message, Speeding.

Religious Reasons. Encouraging The Customer To Speed.
Religious Connotation. Defines Computer Hackers.

Inappropriate Social Message.
Inappropriate Social Message.

Too Close To Weapon Connotation. Inappropriate.

Inappropriate, Inappropriate. Punishing Someone.

Is Not Acceptable Public Message, Gangster Backwards. Religious Connotation.
Real Meaning Is Situation Normal All F***ed Up.

Violant Connotation. Deals With Alcohol.
The Fact It Has To Do With Speeding And Our Road Safety Campain.

Profanity. Religious Connotation, Christian Faith Motto.
Weatherby Magnum Is A Rife; Weatherby Magnum Is A Rifle.

Mirror Image. Profanity | Profanity.

Bitch Please. Bitch Please With A Z.

Swear In Slavic/Yiddish. Sounds Like Someone Poo'D. Sounds Like Poop.

Eat S*** And Die! Offensive/Profanity. Offensive/Profanity, Offensive/Profanity.

Unacceptable Message.
Unacceptable Message.

May Seem Offensive, Offensive/Profanity. Profanity. Could Be Deemed Offensive.

Rock Your A**!

Using The Word Ass, Spells Oh Shit Backwards.
Oh S*** Backwards.
Aw S*** Backwards.

Offensive. Too Sexy For You.

Tuna Hunter. Eat Me - Mirror Image. "Bitch"! Offensive.

Offensive.
Offensive, Offensive, Offensive.
Offensive.
Could Be Offensive.

Life'S A B*Tch. Could Be Offensive, Could Be Offensive.

Offensive. Offensive, Offensive.
Could Be Considered Offensive; Could Be Taken As Offensive.
Offensive, Offensive! Up Yours Backwards!

Offensive.

Up Your ...
Offensive Language.

Offensive.

Payment Is Required For Your Replacement Request.

Payment Required For Replacement App Request.
Payment Required, Payment Required.
Require Payment. Payment Is Required.

Payment Required, Payment Required, Payment Required, Payment Required.
Payment Required.

Can'T Have 0 Instead Of A O, Identity Problems. Duplicate Of An Existing Slogan.
Payment Required.

Offensive.

Using The Word Bandit. Using The Word Bandit.
Using The Word Bandit. Criminal.
Criminal.

Sniper = Gun = Violence. Offensive, Offensive.
Sexual Meaning, Sexual Meaning.

Suggestive. Sexually Suggestive.

Drug Related. Alcohol Related. Can'T Have Alcohol Realations.
Offensive; Can'T Have Alcohol Relations.
Can'T Have Alcohol Relationa.

Could Be Offensive. Buggery.
Could Be Offensive.
Religious Connotation; Religious Connotation, Religious Connotation.
May Offend.

Political Views. Criminal Connotation.
Political Message Unacceptable, Racial.

Too Many Characters.