No, It is Not Relaxing

Sometimes in my capacity as a learned and thoughtful individual I am capable of eloquently discussing and describing why I find something to be bothersome or unacceptable, calling upon the flexibility and elegance of the English language to properly express my disapproval of a concept or action in a meaningful and productive manner.

And sometimes I am not.

Like now.

If you, like me, were fool enough to go leafing through today's flyer distributed by the Real Canadian Superstore, then you have already encountered the particular object that I find myself concerned with.



An "Ab Relaxer".

Oh really.

"Ab Relaxer". Is that right.

For relaxing abs, you say. Mm-hmm. I see.

Because I am looking at this expensive product you are attempting to sell me and what I am seeing is a CHAIR

YOU MOTHERFUCKERS

THAT IS A CHAIR

YOU HAVE TAKEN THE TINY BUNGEE CORDS FROM THE TRUNK OF SOMEBODY'S CAR TO PUT THEM ON A LAWN CHAIR AND YOU WANT A HUNDRED DOLLARS OF MY MONEY

OF COURSE IT RELAXES YOUR ABS, YOU CONTEMPTIBLE SHITHEADS, IT IS A CHAIR



AARGH