See Masthead

Now, I had been working on putting up my first MP3 post (whenever I could find time, that is -- working from 11:30 PM to 7:30 AM most nights gives a brother a strange internal clock), but a news story like this one demands my attention.

Perhaps you've already read about it in either paper:



I mean, of course I had to address this. The title of this blog is Slurpees and Murder, for crap's sakes; when both longtime staples of Winnipeg life (such as it is) appear in the same article, I sit up and pay attention.

"(Homicide victim Audrey) Cooper was killed at 2:45 a.m., and it's believed she was returning home from the convenience store when she was attacked."

A Winnipeg woman goes out for a Slurpee and gets murdered? This actually happened?

Winnipeg, multiple-time Murder Capital of Canada in previous years, has this year been relegated to second or third place depending on who's doing the counting. And we're not happy about it! We're so determined to regain our place in the sun that even children as young as twelve have started chipping in, and I'm sure we're all very proud of them. But have we gone so overboard in our bloodlust for the title that we're now actively endangering our other claim to fame? (And, er, shouldn't we be concerned that these are our only claims to fame?)

"'I was shocked,' said nearby resident Donna McManus.
'I'm disgusted that it's closing down.'"

Yeah! 7-Eleven, how dare you cut and run just because of a string of horrifically violent crimes? I also register disgust at this development!

Listen carefully, kids, because this is important -- if somebody in Winnipeg is carrying a Slurpee, you should not be murdering them. Honestly, what do they teach you kids in school these days? Have some civic pride!