Saturday, December 15, 2007

Wakka Wakka Wakka Wakka

Well! That was a sizeable chunk of inactivity. Hello again, everybody!

As you could probably imagine from recent posts (and from the subsequent lack of recent posts), I've been pretty tired and burnt out -- so this past week I finally bit the bullet and quit my poorly paid, dehumanizing temp job. It was a long time coming, and it was brought on by a variety of reasons, so I'm not sad to see it go. (Plus they were going to make me work Christmas Eve. Nice try, buddies! I've been down that road before, and several times at that!)

I mean, yes, money is never in terribly ample supply for me -- but I figured, what the hell. I was obviously getting nowhere near any ladders of promotion or windows of opportunity, I've bankrolled just enough to see me through the Christmas season, and I can find something else once the new year hits and I've decided what I'm doing with my education.

Besides all that, I can safely say that my financial security is about to get a whole lot better -- because I am just about to win $25,000!



Yes, that's right! It's Pac-Man! In convenient scratch-ticket format!

We're all familiar with Pac-Man; it's a simple game, and it's an easy game. Surely the scratch ticket version will be equally effortless!

I've even got audio tutorials and accompanying music to see me through!

Curtis Hoard - Pac-Man (Conquer the Video Craze, 1982)
[source]

Kid Koala - Fender Bender (Carpal Tunnel Syndrome, 2000)
[buy | site | myspace]

As you can see, I can't lose! Let the heavens sing my name -- my fame and fortune await! So watch carefully, folks; with just a few flicks of a coin, my present and future financial well-being is



dammit



dammit



WHAT THE

FUCK YOU BLINKY



what is this shit i can't even have my two dollars back



WHAT

AUGH

BLINKY

I SWEAR TO GOD THE BONUS SPACE BETTER GIVE ME MY MONEY OR I'M GONNA



OKAY

YOU KNOW WHAT

SCREW YOU PAC-MAN

I NEVER LIKED YOU

YOUR WIFE LOOKS LIKE A DUDE

AND YOUR KIDS ARE UGLY

YOU'RE A JERKFACE AND YOUR STUPID GAME SHOULD LOOK MORE LIKE THIS



REAAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH



Okay. I've got it. I am a rational man, and I have thought about it rationally, so I understand what has just happened here.

The convenience store clerk scammed me somehow and stole my winning ticket.

This is the only reasonable explanation. It happens all the time, I heard it on the news. Can't trust any of them, I swear.

I have once again learned a valuable seasonal lesson, and that lesson is to HATE EVERYTHING AND EVERYBODY OH GOD SO ANGRY

THERE GOES MY WHOLE CHRISTMAS

RAAAAARRH





Ahem. Anyway!

Since I've rid myself of my unreasonable day job, I'll be able to work on clearing up the extensive backlog of posts I've been meaning to write here; I'll also be able to dive headfirst into the whole graduate school dance, try and track down a few former professors, and take the rapidly growing puppy on walks she quite obviously needs.

I'm counting this as my Christmas vacation time, folks! Expect to see a lot of me!

5 comments:

Keith said...

I have a winning pac-man ticket. I've been waiting for the right time to exchange it for the $25,000 winner. I do believe you just gave me that time. I've been holding on to it for the past 3 months.

What store did you buy yours from?

James Howard said...

As I recall, I'd bought it from the Shoppers Drug Mart downtown.

And somehow it failed me! I know, right? Crazy!

W4 said...

My "Pac-Smack" sense was tingling, and lo and behold...

*ahem*

What blasphemy do you speak?!?

Okay. Getting that out of the way...

I wish you luck with upcoming graduate school.

James Howard said...

Hey, thanks!

I don't doubt that it'll be difficult, but I'm sure I can pull it off! I'm pretty good at staying on top of things, so I'm sure I can remember to OH GOD I OWE YOU AN EMAIL FROM LIKE A MONTH AGO

HOLY CRAP

BACK LATER

vidstudent said...

About two years ago this time, Ohio had a $3 Pac-Man ticket. (Note: at that time, $1 U.S. was approximately $1.50 Canadian, making that ticket cost 2.25 times as much as yours did.) I did not play it, but was seriously tempted to. I was not tempted for the money, however.

One of the big prizes offered was a two-player Pac-Man arcade table. You know, the type that would flip the screen orientation for the other person and you could set drinks on.

I would have thrown stuff out to make room for that in my apartment.

Good luck with the grad school search!