Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Why Newspapers Come Out Daily

Hey, guys! Let me pitch this crazy, off-the-wall scenario to you.

Kosovo is a Serbian province, just as it has been for the past sixty-four years; Fidel Castro is the Prime Minister of Cuba for life, just as he has been for the past fifty-nine years; Mexico City reigns as the Guinness World Record holder for the longest consecutive ice-skating human chain, just as it has been for... about six weeks; and in the NHL a five-goal deficit against the New York Rangers is completely insurmountable, just as it has been for the entirety of the franchise's eighty-two years of operation).

Any of that sound familiar? It totally should! Because all of that was common knowledge and accepted to be true -- three days ago.

So in the last three days Kosovo has declared its independence (and seen this declaration recognized by major powers), Fidel Castro has announced his almost-immediate resignation, Winnipeg has (probably) set the new World Record for the longest skate chain, and the New York Rangers have set new records for futility that even the modern-day Toronto Maple Leafs would shake their collective miserable heads at.

What in the world is going on around--it's Tuesday! Would anything else like to happen this week?

I don't know about you guys, but I'm rooting for a breakthrough in cloning house hippos. Science, don't let me down here!


Anonymous said...

How about McCain being quite possibly literally in bed with a lobbyist during his 2000 Presidential bid?

James Howard said...

Ha ha ha ha whaaaaaaaaaaat--

Yeah, that'll do it!

Plus there was that whole red lunar eclipse going on last night (how often does that happen?), so there's been no shortage of strange and unusual events going on. Always something!