First things first, to follow up my previous post. In a stroke of good fortune for me, my car was saddled only with a minor coincidental setback -- or rather, it was minor enough that I still will have money someday in my life, but major enough that no professional out near Winnipeg Beach was willing to risk going into a Volvo over it.
(Perhaps the fanatical Ikea followers in our midst would be more likely to see their desired store in Manitoba if we as a populace seemed less unwaveringly wary of other Swedish niche products. I'm just tossing ideas around, is all.)
So that's good.
Now, to the main thrust of this post. In a stroke of good fortune for all of us bargain hunters, which last I heard was a great many of us, we all will have the rare opportunity to benefit greatly from the hideously crumbling state of Manitoba business!
Behold as I beheld:
This is important. This is news. We will come to pay tribute to the dearly departed memory of a longstanding downtown business staple, and by that I mean we are going to mercilessly raid its corpse and leave only another crumbling husk in a decaying core literally stacked with them.
We all know that I like to spend as little money as possible when purchasing items (to recap: I live in Winnipeg), so that sign on the front held great interest to me. But since I am also a man of eager curiosity and tireless imagination, it was the message on the other storefront sign that better grabbed my attention.
See what you make of this, standing in complete contrast to its more prominent counterpart:
I can't decide whether that's completely sinister or completely awesome, but I'm willing to accept the possibility that both descriptions apply.
What do you suppose the warning is for? Is it a warning to the rest of the downtown stores that any one of them could be next? Is it a general warning for any passerby that their current path will lead them into an urban wilderness where they risk life and limb by entering? Or will the warning be an unfortunate omen for someone, a serendipitious film-noir device serving as the last thing they ever see?
(I did warn you about the whole tireless imagination thing.)
Whatever the case, and whatever the warning may be, I felt I absolutely had to pass it along. If not for me, nobody else may have caught it in time--
--because, of course, nobody else is brave or foolish enough to be downtown after five PM.
So heads up, true believers! The United Army Surplus Sales liquidation sale begins this Wednesday, August 1st, at noon.
You've been warned.
Rob Ford Cracked
7 hours ago