Wednesday, August 22, 2007

It's Your Downtown Recap Post

Hey, folks! Been a while! Nice to see you!

For a variety of reasons, I haven't been home very often or for very long lately and I've been near my computer even less (I spent all that money to buy the damn thing and I barely even encounter it these days) -- but I remain ever vigilant, paying close attention to my surroundings.

Since I work right downtown, this means that I've been paying close attention to our city's core. And since I've concerned posts with various downtown concerns a few times now, I figure I may as well bring 'em up to speed. So, for the sake of argument, let’s get ourselves caught up on some downtown happenings that I’ve happened to write about before.

Firstly, and probably most germane to the interests of fellow Winnipeggers:

The United Army Surplus clearance sale, which kicked off almost three weeks ago, remains ongoing -- and more importantly, the store-wide discount has finally been bumped up from its original measly 20% to a respectably enticing 40%.

And it turns out that isn't the only change going on in the market. As you'll recall, following the declaration of bankruptcy, the remaining inventory of United Army Surplus was bought out by local outfitting giant S.I.R.; between then and now, S.I.R. has itself been bought out by Americans.

When United Army Surplus finally went under and S.I.R. bought them out, I initially assumed that the town wasn't big enough for two locally owned outfitters; I guess after all of that the town isn't big enough for one locally owned outfitter.

Ah, well. I'm sure we'll survive (or soldier on, if you don't mind the pun); it'll be a bummer knowing the money won't remain in the community when I purchase a much-needed camouflage Mag Lite, but such is business in our modern era.

I don't know where to even begin making fun of the poor decisions that would result in a camouflaged flashlight, so let's move on to the second item of discussion:

The mysteriously absent cop statue remains mysteriously absent. You’ll recall that I was a little sad to see it go, despite myself; now I'm just curious as to what the hell happened to it.

I still hold out hope that it's just being refurbished or something. Or -- I might just be kidding myself on this one, but maybe -- the possibility exists that they switch it out in the summertime for the sake of foliage, then put it back for the other nine or ten months of the year when we can’t grow much of anything. You know? Perhaps they just put it aside for the summer to cultivate the soil, and they're going to bring it back as soon as the flowers start dying.

This seems like a terrible idea, of course – “It’s tourist season! Quick, hide the downtown art!” – but humour me while I grasp at straws. At the very least, if it were gone forever, you would think its placard would have been removed instead of simply grown over.

But then, surely something must be eluding me about all this; I'm not party to the mindset of Portage Place types.

Speaking of which! (A wonderful segue!) This leads us along perfectly into our third topic of consideration:

The Gourmet Cup shenanigans and goings-on remain a complete mystery; I've heard nothing either way since my original post, and nobody else bothered acknowledging the initial protestors in the first place. So I've nothing new to report; the Gourmet Cup may or may not be a wretched hive of scum and villainry, and that's as far as anybody cares to determine right now.

I’m still keeping an ear out for this one, despite its seeming inactivity; feel free to comment or drop me an email if you’re more familiar with the story than I am. I am a man of natural curiosity, and men of natural curiosity do not simply abandon curiosities.

And, hey, speaking of curiously abandonded (I am on fire with my transitions today):

The A&B Sound building remains conspicuously empty -- and, yes, the A&B Sound building also remains wretchedly, unspeakably ugly.

I know by now you're probably tired of hearing about this from me, but come on! Does anybody actually think this is an attractive colour scheme? Unless you are a sports mascot, a tropical bird, or some delicious sherbet, you are better off adorning yourself in a combination of colours that isn’t purple, orange and green simultaneously!

The longer I think about it, the less appealing it even seems. What kind of world would we live in if that was considered a widely acceptable palette? No doubt you’re familiar with our obtuse sculpture of a giant dead fishfly Esplanade Riel pedestrian bridge, which is already pretty goofy-looking to begin with –- can you imagine if we had foregone the tacky Salisbury House logo and instead painted the thing in garish secondary colours?

Oh. Wow.

Okay, you know what? That would have been immensely funny. But my point still stands!

Anyway. That about wraps it up, as far as previously mentioned downtown distractions go; tune in next time, when I might finally get around to posting music again. Remember those days? The very idea!


tyler said...

Seeing as it's not reported by the news, I'm willing to believe that the coffee situation is nothing at all.

After discussing it with family members, remembering the conversations I had with him, remembering the conversations he had with other customers, remembering the attitudes of people who act just like the guy, I'm now under the impression that he merely made some joking comments to some people thinking they wouldn't take it hard when they did.

Picture a 40 year old Dave Liu.

He probably might've made some joking comments about them being young girls and one or two jokes about marijuana. Y'know, like everyday people? Now, it's being made to sound like he's some raging pedophile, stalking the streets and molesting young children.

Note that this stuff still isn't being reported by the news.

Anonymous said...

The cop on Portage ave was removed because people kept vandalizing it......or at least that is what I was told. I laughed when I saw "Big Pig" sprayed on there.